There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that asians like iced coffee and people of all races enjoy it. But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes.
White people all need Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean. They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,” and so forth. It’s pretty garbage all around.
If you want to go for extra points – white people really love FAIR TRADE coffee, because paying the extra $2 means they are making a difference.
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[...] så hater jeg når folk snakker veldig mye om kaffe, spesielt når det er sånn “åh, jeg bare må drikke kaffe, klarer meg gjennom dagen uten kaffe, hohoi!, så kaffeavheng…, men det falt meg veldig naturlig å innlede dette med, jeg drikker kaffe fra termos fordi det er [...]
Damn, I fit the white guy stereotype all too well. I like coffee, have a vespa scooter, my girlfriend has bangs (but isn’t asian, althought she has anumber of moleskin notebooks), have a tatoo of noughts and crosses, humus, bob marley and dogs! Ah well, whats a brother to do.
All white people engage in another ritual, this one quite early on in life: learning to write, speak, and punctuate the English language correctly. I hope your English instructors (for the love of God, I hope you are just recently learning the language) are trying to impart this to you.
All white people learn to read and write. THAT’s funnier than the coffee thing.
another one of these guys
What the world needs is more people with a sense of humor. I’m a white guy that doesn’t fit many of these stereotypes. Even so, I’m not offended in the least by this bit of obvious exageration for effect. Lighten up.
We commonly accept stereotypes today that are often true but sometimes not (e.g. teenage boys are dangerous behind the wheel, people with poor credit scores are less reliable employees, caucasians are taller than chinese). These are statistically valid stereotypes but for which exceptions are also easy to find.
Stereotypes persist because they are often true. It is unreasonable to expect that we will rid our thinking of legitimate generalizations, but for which many exceptions exist. Without name-calling we should at least acknowledge we all will have tendency to believe what is generally true until contrary evidence is available.
Today, anyone stupid enough to publicly acknowlege what can plainly be observed, may be attacked and silenced with charges of racial profiling or sexism or whatever. A few years ago, Lawrence Summers, the President of Harvard, faced a revolt by students, faculty and the press when he postulated that perhaps innate differences accounted for the reason why fewer women than men teach science.
While one may not agree with his theory, he cited emperical evidence that show men perform better on standardized science tests and more men pursue advanced studies in science, and the candidate pool available for the selection of professors is greater for men than for women. Instead of screaming accusations of sexism, why not a spirited debate of other explanations for the very obvious disparities?
We are becoming a very thin-skinned society, looking for any reason to take offense and personnally attacking individuals who acknowlege being influenced by commonly observed stereotypes (which often are true but sometimes not). All this does is drive such thinking underground and shut down meaningful dialog.
lay down on the words bro, quite the mouthload
In spite of liberals love of science, they absolutely cannot stomach the kind of science that flies in the face of their ideological dogma. That kind of science, if widely known and accepted would nullify their ability to achieve their ideal of a socialist utopia.
Hence global warming and environmental hysterics, race, gender, and ‘orientation’ hyperbole. Embrionic stem cell fantasies. None of their idiotic ideological beliefs are grounded in sound science, but they believe if you tell a lie long enough loud enough, and let no opposition be heard, their ideas will prevail.
Larry Summers was, is, and will continue to be a fish out of water. There isn’t a pond he can fit into and not have a controversy surround him. Political correctness is not one of his virtues and being smart isn’t the only cure all for the problems we face.
I agree fully you present a valid point
Great comment! Artculate and true – now back to the satire…
This post is extremely stupid? Why. You think all white people act and believe the same things? Yes, they may do the same things and say the same things most of the time,but putting them in a category of specific actions and words, as to things like coffee and Toyota prius is racist and stereotypical. You cannot decry them when they do it to you if you are going to do it to them. White is a qualty of skin color, not a race. Race involves much more than skin color as skin color is one of the varying degrees of genetic traits and initially began this way from the accumulation of genes in a particular pool in a particular location. White can differentiate so that in a white family, you can have a child that is dark, and vice versa, because we are all related, stupid. I am calling this blog stupid because it is out there putting out erroneous information not intending to be funny but actually stereotyping white people. Shame on you. This is reverse racism, and you don’t even know the effects you are creating on yourselves………..
You can’t take these things seriously; you need to relax! Have you never heard a joke or are you the guy that writes Dave Chapelle angry letters? Get a sense of humor!
I’d also like to correct you, white is not a color it is a shade. We all come from the same “race” but it isn’t white. White people are actually Africans with a mutated gene, that is, black people aren’t white people with mutated genes. The lack of pigmentation common in white skin scientists have actually likened to albinism. Connect the dots.
So I guess what I’m saying is LIGHTEN UP and of course do your research!
All generalisations are dangerous – including this one.
Well… it sure made a douchebag out of you. I don’t care who you are, that there is funny.
It wouldn’t be reverse racism anyway, just racism….. and yeah, lighten up.
Okay, you are making a fool of yourself on the internet where everyone can see it. This is a humor site, obviously, and there is no reason to get angry and call the author(s) racists because the mere fact is that everyone is racist. You nor can anyone say that they are not racist. People like you make me sick whenever they accuse people of racism. Stop making a fool of yourself please because nobody wants to laugh at this terrible comment you left and please, above all, think before you speak/write/comment.
Please get a sense of humor. It’s just a mock of a sterotype of environmentally and socially conscious ‘limousine liberals’ who normally have a degree in the Liberal Arts. Besides even Christian said the book and site are about him.
Thanks for the info Christian. Now I finally get what Ludacris was referring to in Crash about ‘overcaffeinated white people.’
Gotta have the morning brew. And the best kind is KONA COFFEE — nothing better, nothing smoother, nothing better to start your day!
I always keep a bag in the cupboard and try the different varieties from Kapo Trading Company — they’ve got the best coffees from Hawaii.
Voltaire said that coffee was for eunuchs
I would tend to agree
I need to double check that I am white.
1. I don’t like coffee
2. I think religion and spirituality are fairy tales (but that is different than my parents)
3. I have never been to a film festival. I just go to the Cinemark down the roAD.
4. I believe in assists because I am not good enough to score but understand it isn’t as important as scoring. I don’t feel guilty about slavery or Jim Crowe laws. I only feel guilt about bad stuff that I do and sometime I don’t even feel guilty about that.
5. I don’t go to the Farmer’s Market. I find the local grocery store sufficient.
6. I am indifferent to organic food. I buy what taste good and is not too over priced. If it is organic then fine, if not, that is fine too. I really don’t know what makes one carrot organic and one not and don’t really care.
7. I do like diversity in food and not much else. This one applies.
8. I don’t like Obama. In three more years most other white people won’t like him either. Spending money like a drunken sailor is a stupid way to fix things and will just screw stuff up worse. I don’t care if people think I am a racist because I don’t like Obama.
9. I don’t like to go camping and hiking and don’t go outside just to go outside. For instance, I go outside to shoot off model rockets with my son because it leaves holes in the ceiling if I do it inside.
10. I have no idea who Wes Anderson is and when I looked at the list of movies I had never seen one nor even heard of them.
I was going to only respond to 10 but I have to give you number 11. I have a thing for asian girls.
Niel, I totally agree. I find this website hilarious. I fit into a lot of these stereotypes, and a lot of them made mo sense at all to me. I jsut think racist jokes are hysterical because let’s be realistic; would stereotypes exist if most people in said race didn’t fit into it? I mean, really…
I agree with what you say!
I have been told that I am the “wrong kind” before. Not sure what the “right kind” of white person is exactly. I still don’t like coffee but I find Clander’s writing style to be entertaining and enjoy reading his stuff.
well isn’t this nice. Roll the credits. Increase the music. Will and David are slowly walking to the bedroom to have a session of kissing and licking each other’s asses.
THE END.
You are the “wrong kind of white person”.
David, who tha f**k are you and why did you think that anyone on this blog gives a f**k what you think?
Clander did not ask about you, and we sure as hell don’t give a f**k about you either.
Get a life white boy.
I agree with uh. I don’t care what David thinks. If he is so stupid that he has to question his “whiteness”, he deserves to get told to shut the hell up. David, buy a mirror idiot.
ps
you talk to much about things nobody cares about.
Mr Dick has spoken.
It must be nice for a panty wearing little fruitcake like you to have the internet to hide behind. Get off the computer and finish your homework dipshit.
awww, Greg wants to join in a threesome with Will and David in sucking each others white dicks.
STFU Beeeotch.
I scrolled up and see nobody spoke to you Greg, so why the heck you putting your two cents in. Get from underneith the desk and mind your business.
Why don’t you and duh go fuck yourselves.
Why should we fuck each other when we can easily just fuck you Greg?
uh
You could have just told me you didn’t think my satire was funny. You did get that it was satire didn’t you? You do understand that Clander’s writings are satire as well? Well maybe you don’t.
David my boy, you did not state satire, you stated your heartfelt opinions and tried to disguise it as satire.
While I do understand Clander’s writings as satire, yours, on the other hand, came across as rantings of a white guy who don’t like diversity or Obama or anything else that does not fit into that stereotypical white male world.
As Homer Simpson would say, “If at first you don’t succeed, give it up and don’t do it no more.”
Grow some balls and stop whimpering like a little wuss. Stand behind your boring diatribe. Who cares what others think. By the way, your blog sucks. STFU
I have a life. But thanks for caring.
shut up nigga
Because we can tell you’re a respectable educated person!
Fuck you. Is that respectable and educated enough.
Your vocabulary is very impressive.
I know. Get fucked asshole.
You are absolutely and utterly pathetic. You are the reason I log online everyday to find something amusing, and you’d probably be the kind of person a 4chan /b/-meme could start out of. I would know, I’m an oldfag. I hope you’re aware of how interesting it really is to see someone so obviously quasi intellectual (I hope you, as well as most others, see the sarcasm here) try to make a point on the internet by using obscure language that obviously only makes you look even more retarded.
Have a nice day. I sure will, now that I have something to laugh at.
look in the mirror Josefool and you will keep yourself laughing all the time…
and you have a nice day…..beeeeotch.
ha ha ha….now I’m laughing!!
All uh did was state the obvious, geeeesh, what is wrong with you overly sensitive people. Can you not read. That long boring blob of a blog damn near put my but to sleep. Josefin, you have some nerve calling someone pathetic, I see your an oldfag, tell me something new. What the heck are you talking about, you too are a bore to read. What is
a” 4chan /b/-meme”. It makes sense to no one but you. Was that your attempt at humor, it did’nt work. But telling you to kiss my ass sure helps correct that problem.
Now you have a nice day. I sure will, now that I have a you to laugh at.
Mr BIG Dick has spoken
OK, this post isn’t about coffee. It’s about the idea of white people. There are thousands of posts to this site, so there’s a good chance someone else has already addressed this. What it appears to me is meant by white people is people who enjoy the privilege of being white in this country, are fairly well heeled and well educated, have easy access to the interent, and are probably not older than 75 or younger than 10. They are not “poor whites” — no internet service, working a menial at a menial job if they have a job, probably not homeowners, may be fundamentalist Christians, are probably “patriotic”. So it’s not what white people like, it’s what white yuppies like, am I right?
(Full disclosure: I have the advantage of white-skin privilege, have an advanced art degree, am retired on a small pension plus small SS check, drive a 96 Honda station wagon with a couple of bumper stickers on the back, listen to public radio, am a Quaker after rejecting my family’s Catholocism, have filled lots of notebooks & sketchbooks with writing and drawings (some of them Moleskines), listen to blues and soul music, among other things, drink coffee, like banksey, the Onion, am learning Spanish, put sea salt on my food, agitate for the release of political prisoners, am on Facebook, have gay friends, own a lot of tshirts, shop at farmer’s markets, qm once divorced, recycle, liked Juno, like to travel, had asian girlfriends when I was much younger…a lot more stuff on the list used to apply to me, but I outgrew it like marijuana and hating my parents. And there are quite a few things on the list I don’t like, or am at least indifferent to: Whole Foods, microbreweries, 80s night, snowboarding, arrested development, wine.
Its a parody of left leaning douchebags.
hey Greg, why don’t you lean right…right into bobbing your head on my dick, beeeeotch.
don’t you have homework, dumbass?
Scrolled down the list of the stuff, was really intrigued by the Yoga-Comment, but arriving at #1 coffee, when there was no yoga-class this morning, it made me realize that the next coffee place, as I am in India, is about 20 minutes riksha-ride away … so all you annoyed white people, enjoy going round the corner for coffee and shut up!
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