There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that asians like iced coffee and people of all races enjoy it. But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes.
White people all need Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean. They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,” and so forth. It’s pretty garbage all around.
If you want to go for extra points – white people really love FAIR TRADE coffee, because paying the extra $2 means they are making a difference.
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100% Colombian Coffee by Cartel boss Juan Valdez, and make sure your coffee was processed in machinery that produces cocaine. It’s the most addictive coffee in the world. +
…Produced in machinery that processes cocaine…
Why was it written in reverse? I had too much coffee today. 1243AM in the morning in the west coast. No more coffee for me. +
I love my coffee. Especially if the beans were picked by the underpaid indigenous peoples of Latin America. It adds flavor.
i’m a white female, and today I looked at my starbucks cup while taking a sip. It told me that I bought millions of pounds of responsibly grown coffee last year, and I felt really good about myself.
Yet another great post.
If you guys out there are looking for another humor site to read, check out http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com. It’s similar to the Onion.
Starbucks in the Palm Springs area (20 down to 15 and soon 10 outlets) after they came in the early 2000s has been beat. Indio’s own Starbucks outlet faces a donut shop competitor: Winchell’s and I find their coffee better than the trendy hipsters across the promenade (formerly a Shell gas station). My half-sis tried Starbucks in the mid ’90s in the L.A. area and commented “tastes like it’s from an ashtray”. Starbucks once though they can’t sell lattes to the Black and Latino markets, but were proven dead wrong and are succeeding in coffees popular in the Hispanic culinary style. Oh yea, Starbucks is helping African coffee bean farmers like they “love black people” or something. LOL! +
LOLOL This is just as funny as http://www.DanielDickey.com for sure.
After studying many whites and their culture, I do agree that they do enjoy thier coffee. White people like a small napkin with it, a small cookie, and of course the morning newspaper. Then they may use the restroom at starbucks. Now upon studying their behavior when it is assocaiated with coffee, I did notice a bit of a change in their energy. They seem to perk right up making thier day more tolerable. White people then go to work in joyous moods and cheer upon the day having the coffee running through their veins. Then to the evening…. a dry scotch with 4 ice cubes……a spritz…just a spritz of lemon. Then white people cheer about thier day and how many different cultures there are and how GLAD they are to be a part of it. Before they go to bed they must pray to the coffee gods and tell them how grateful they are for the one true thing that makes their life so amazing…….This site is fucking halarious…..and bullshit.
I am Asian and I love percolator coffee prepared so thick that it has significant surface tension to momentarily repel milk for a moment. My love for the mocha java is so complete that I normally have a liter (4 cups) a day. The trouble is that I have grown immune to the caffeine that it no longer is about getting the morning buzz. Heck, I can drink that same amount and sleep snoringly minutes later.
Later on, I followed the advice of dietitians to just switch to an apple in the morning. Wakes you up, cleans your teeth and keeps you healthy, mostly.
Gotta have my buzz. Adults living on their own (of any race, esp. whites over 40) don’t need to be told to “eat your breakfast”. White office workers are juiced up on Naked vitamin C added formulas and Nescafe instant breakfast or boost shakes, for 10 times the price than a cup of joe. +
I love coffee! but i dont drink it during the summer caz its to hot and if i dont have any the only thing that happens is i fall asleep during first block.
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