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#1 Coffee

There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that asians like iced coffee and people of all races enjoy it. But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes.

White people all need Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean. They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,” and so forth. It’s pretty garbage all around.

If you want to go for extra points – white people really love FAIR TRADE coffee, because paying the extra $2 means they are making a difference.

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2,573 Responses

  1. To be fair coffee was invented by Africans and was/has been a African/Arab thing. But not in the way white people are into it of course.


  2. on February 14, 2008 at 9:56 pm metamorphallic

    This site is blowing up! Your total hits might just double today.

    I’m drinking some Vietnamese coffee right now!


  3. Anonymous is definitely the whitest respondent on this entry. “To be fair” White people love fairness. “coffee was invented by Africans and was/has been a African/Arab thing.” Especially fairness to other races. People of colour invented coffee, get that, other whites! Not that is was stated otherwise, but anonymous must be glowing with multicultural pride by pointing out the achievements of non-whites.


  4. [...] Posted by Spartan2k supposed to get some good free trade coffee, but it hasn’t arrived yet #1 Coffee Stuff White People Like __________________ [...]


  5. [...] Posted by Salted NutsNE1 #1 Coffee Stuff White People Like __________________ Leave the gun. Take the [...]


  6. Arab kids start drinking coffee after they get off the bottle or the boob…

    But we drink out of tiny cups and sometimes (if we are from the Khaleej) drink a clear-colored version of it-so i don’t know if that counts


  7. Caffeine makes one want to go #2. How is this bad?


  8. This is such a funny site. It’s been less than one month since this site’s existence and I congratulate you writers (“whriters?”) for the great material.

    Continue to enlighten us non-whites about your whiteness; I believe many whites like to call that “integration”. ;)


  9. I recently found someone’s iPod (gee, ya think they were white?) that she left at a grocery store (!?) and after spending a day trying to get it back to her, while she flamed me on said 400 dollar device as a thief, she presented me with a $5 Starbucks card.

    I don’t drink coffee.
    20 bucks would have been nice.


  10. coffee is fucking delish, i’ll give you that!


  11. i’m white and i hate coffee


  12. Wow you are insightful :)

    I agree with you on whites loving the outdoors and making people feel bad for not joining them. I live in the tropics where the humidity is 70-80% and the daily temperature at least 30 degree celsius. It’s freaking hot and many of the white expats who just arrived love to show how they love going for jungle tracks and getting lobster tans in our blistering heat when no locals in the right mind would bother to go out in the heat, feed mosquitoes and run the risk of heatstroke.


  13. hahahah this is so true. I know people who pay a premium for fairtrade/organic coffee just because it makes them feel good LOL @ white people. suckers


  14. Know what else is white? making a list about white people.


  15. Gee… I’m white, but I can’t stand coffee? Does this somehow diminish my white-ness? Can I still claim ‘caucasian’ on my job applications, or should I check the box next to ‘other’?
    I’m so confused…


  16. Some of you haven’t understood the concept of “whiteness”. It’s about trends, activities and behavior that only white people enjoy (liking diversity as such) or can enjoy (feeling superior to other whites). Of course, most of the subjects are of the lame progressive kind which are whiter than white. If you are one of these progressive minded idiots, we are here to mock you! If you are white and don’t enjoy the trends, activities and behavior on this site, we don’t care!

    Obviously, Anonymous, making a list about white people is not white (something that is only enjoyed by white people) since many black comedians made a career out of making fun of whites. Of course, only white people like disparaging jokes about their own race made by an ethnic minority. Paradoxically, it makes them feel good about themselves (very white!)


  17. You especially don’t want to call it coffee when you’re ordering.

    Call it a “Drip”.


  18. This site is hilarious. hahahahahahahahaha


  19. I want to personally thank you for choosing this white person’s favorite thing in the world as #1. I’m sure organic food is somewhere on the list as well, and I just want to let you know that I’m drinking an organic blend that I grind and brew myself.

    “They tried to make me switch to decaf, but I said, ‘No, no, no…’” –Amy Coffeehouse


  20. I think Starbucks is not cool anymore; if you go to a Starbucks regularly, the only way not to meet with disapproval is if there literally isn’t any other coffee place in town. But if that’s the case, you have the opportunity to add hurriedly, with a hint of frustration and apology in your tone, “I really wish we had a good local coffee shop around here, but ya know, I have to get my brew from somewhere!” Sympathy and commiseration will ensue.

    –LO


  21. Is it a coincidence that 13% of the population enjoy orange soda?


  22. This whole series has been awesome! Check this out!


  23. oh god, it’s all so true…i do love fair trade coffee!


  24. I never understand the addictions to coffee and cigarettes. You pretty much have to force yourself to like them by drinking/smoking for weeks until you’re hooked on the caffeine or nicotine.

    EWWWW


  25. Love is in the air


  26. Ezekial,

    That was quite the statement you made up there. I shall see to it that you are butt raped by a coffee loving mexican by the end of this week whilst listening to Morrissey’s greatest hits. G’night my little gringito…

    Besos,

    -Rudy “Tootsie” Cervantes

    P.S. – Are you sure you don’t like iced coffee every now and than?


  27. I’m white and I like fair trade coffee. I also like kona coffee from Hawaii. It’s very expensive and tastes great. I will flog myself with a bag of coffee beans for being this lame.


  28. [...] This blog referral post is about how the effective use of email. If you are looking for tips on how to reclaim your inbox or how to obtain a work-life balance, find a nice white friend and talk over it over coffee. [...]


  29. Sometimes I like to bask in my rich whiteness by bathing in organic coffee beans and $100 dollar bills. I just picked up a new MacBook Air, not the $1,799 Air but the $3,000 Air. I absolutely LOVE the new Juno soundtrack, anybody hear it yet?


  30. starbucks had that tv ad with the guy that woodent stop drinking their canned coffee product so the D calls ‘cut’…. remember?

    the hush toned voiceover catalogues the ingredients, one of witch is ‘just a hint of non-fat milk’ !?!?

    can you GET any whiter than that??

    Jeezus!


  31. hi
    One bother about the coffee thing though. I work with coffee producers who get a fair trade price, and yes, it does make a difference. A huge difference.


  32. I’m a Mexican guy who works at a Starbucks in downtown San Francisco, so not only do I find this hilarious, I completely agree.

    It’s not just Americans either. Canadians, French, British, Germans…..they all love their coffee.


  33. on February 19, 2008 at 1:17 pm O'Maolchathaigh

    Now for something really cool, listen to and watch Nana Mouskouri sing about black coffee:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOHAdZUjLd8

    Oh, yeah.


  34. I’m white and I refuse to buy fair trade coffee because I prefer the free market.


  35. fair trade promotes a free market. Markets are free when they’re controlled by one company.


  36. i meant markets are NOT free when they’re controlled by one company. Fair trade promotes small business and competition. Old conservative values over neoliberal ones.


  37. on February 19, 2008 at 8:31 pm povertyonwheels

    anonymous poster of comment #14 has a point.


  38. on February 19, 2008 at 8:31 pm povertyonwheels

    also, blogging is pretty white.


  39. I’m non-white, and you’ve helped me realize that pretty much ALL the things that I’ve felt inadequate about over the years (don’t snowboard or do yoga, don’t drink wine or coffee, don’t go to plays, don’t enjoy 80s nights (SO TRUE), don’t own a bike, don’t listen to public radio, etc.) are really just white things! Of couuurse I don’t fit the mold! Wow… even the kitchen appliance obsession suddenly makes sense! And the co-ed sports! And the cottages they buy on man-made lakes, so they can own waterfront property!
    That’s a lot of exclamation marks, but I mean every single one. I am serious. This has actually affected my sense of self-worth. I feel so much better now. Thank you.


  40. i think #1 on this should be blogs not coffee


  41. I am white! I love coffee! I love to drink as many different types of coffee as I can!

    Just doing the 12 step whitie program. First step is knowing I have a problem.

    LOVE THE BLOG! SO FUNNY!!


  42. Which number is “Blogs”???


  43. I work in a coffee shop, and what white people love more than anything is ORDERING coffee. They like this more than they like drinking it, because it gives them a chance to be really picky about something. The worst thing you can do is get somebody’s latte or cappuccino wrong. They will immediately think you are stupid or intentionally trying to offend them.

    White people also love to stand in front of a counter and spend at least 10 minutes sucking their teeth and staring at all the options, holding up the line while everybody waits for their white ass. The more meaningless variations on something you can give a white person to choose from, the happier they will be.


  44. I am white, and I love coffee so much that I spent five years making a documentary film about it. (hey, when are you going to add “documentary films” to this list? And what about PBS??)

    You’ve got the white yuppies down, but you’re ignoring our brethren, white trash. What gives?


  45. For a white person, you really have this stuff down. I thought for a while that someone in the white race lost the book on How to be White and Blend In. Love the site and the openess. Keep it up…I’ll Be Back


  46. Instead of drinking their coffee before class, white students are like totally sooo busy that they have to bring a latte to class every morning. Their grande cup proudly displaying that classic green and white Starbucks logo. They look like such scholars sipping on their chai tea latte… it’s a proven fact that not only does everyone take you more seriously when you’re sipping coffee during a lecture but studies show it can add 10% to your overall grade. And let’s not forget the cup reminds all the poor people how rich they are because they can afford a $5 cup of coffee every morning. I love white people!


  47. on February 20, 2008 at 11:53 am The Black friend

    Hey Rudi, get the stick out of your butt. Different races make jokes at their own expense all the time. Black people make unnecessary Black jokes all the time for shits and giggles. I Hello…… Chapelle, jokes about smart talking Shequitas, people selling pot and running from the police. I mean I hate these jokes but you just learn to laugh them off after a while.


  48. so umm who really gives a fuck?


  49. white folks sound so dumb when they get angry.


  50. What? White people love tea and coffee? Why not just throw some more random beverages in there too?


  51. so if white people like coffee…what do ordinary, good, upstanding citizens like?

    Coffee is so 2007…


  52. turn me around 3 times after giving me coffee and see what happens…


  53. I hates fair trade coffee, tastes extra bitter.


  54. I wish I had coffee right now:/


  55. ROFL I need to make fun of white people because of my white guilt. lolololoser.


  56. Obviously, coffee is an inherent white trait as even though my parents abhorred coffee, I somehow managed to pick it up. They were just ignoring their natural desires!

    On a more serious note, this list is amusing and I love the satire, but a lot of it can be applied to American culture as a whole and not just white people. To be fair, “white people” do make up the majority of “traditional” American culture. However, many subjects are trivialized (recycling, art) in a way that I don’t see as funny, but hell, I’m a white person; I suppose that means I see things in a different light. Everyone, regardless of culture/ethnicity, is backwards and strange in the eyes of others.

    I am using a Mac, by the way. A mac that my overpaid father who I hate bought for me as a Christmas present. Man, I’m so white. He can buy me expensive stuff I don’t need but can’t help pay for college, complain, complain, complain. God it feels so good and white to hate on him.

    I don’t really hate him. We just have on of those indie movie type of relationships, cause, you know, we’re white. But seriously, I’m PAINFULLY “white.” Perhaps I should befriend Senator Obama to save face!


  57. Dear,

    I’m a korean living in seoul.(name: Oh Minseok)
    Korean special investigative team are investigating samsung
    corporation.
    But they does not work right.
    I am suspicious to be bought off.
    samsung corporation has many crimes.
    And the team investigates samsung corporation.
    It contains korean companies samsung,huyndai,sk CEOs’ illegal issuing
    stocks or bonds.
    The quantity are plenty.
    (Three company CEOs did(and are doing) many crimes to me.
    Many koreans are knowing it.
    But many koreans are bought off by illegal issuing stocks or bonds.)
    The team are knowing it.
    Korean special investigative team must investigate this.
    But they are trying to conceal it.
    I ask for asking for this criminal investigation to prosecutors in any
    country.
    And help the shareholders.

    P.S)
    Three companies are hacking me and trying to kill me.
    And are suspicious to use my name and email illegally.
    If you receive another message that I dictated above are not true,
    it is not from me, but from three companies.
    The things I dictated above are true.

    leoscar7@gmail.com


  58. This blog is classic.

    I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.”

    Also, white girls love to drink coffee with both hands.


  59. As a non-white, non-coffee-drinking person from Seattle, WA, the most coffee-obsessed city on the planet, this post is absolutely amazing and completely true. Your blog rocks!


  60. This dude is outta control…hahah…read a lot of your other entries…


  61. I just hit #1. This is the bestest site ever. I’m so sending this out on on MySpace bulletin. I’m 34, so it’s MySpace all the way – not Facebook. Did you mention MySpace as the place where white people get creative with their backgrounds and play bands like I Love Math and The Shout Out Louds to show they’re still indie to a core? Oh and for us older whiteys, we get to show off pics of our kids and our volunteer trips to New Orleans before our vacations in Tulum.

    THanks for letting me laugh my ass off – and the dead-on commentary.


  62. Best blog ever.

    White people love Kudos.
    Not the candy


  63. i guess no matter what i do ill still be a stereotype.
    im guilty of being white.


  64. [...] saw one friends, he arrived in his Prius and was listening to public radio. He had a coffee cup in the car, left-over from lunch at an expensive sandwich shop. After he took a quick call on [...]


  65. Oh my God. White people totally love coffee! Even white people who don’t love coffee love Starbucks. I swear I know people who drink coffee just so they can go to Starbucks! So true.


  66. MY DAMN SISTER….this fits her to a “T”…..and she’s reading this NOW so I know she’ll know I’m talking about her….with her almost white a**……

    Gotta love her, though!


  67. how/why is it that (some) white people love things that are NOT natively available in (mostly) white (formerly) colonized places?

    examples:

    1) Coffee
    2) Chocolate
    3) Bananas
    4) Oil

    Imagine if coffee-producing countries boycotted (white) countries until they stopped colonizing?

    Trade revolution, baby! And don’t think you can clone a good espresso OR dark cacao. Bananas has been tried (and it’s killing them off) and the oil thing…well, we don’t have to go there….


  68. [...] of tell they didnt enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes." #1 Coffee Stuff White People Like __________________ "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will [...]


  69. The best thing about this site is everyone’s contribution via the comments. This blog entry is good, but there is so much extra value added by such observations as the preppy uni students (love Jessica #56) and women’s two handed drinking habits.

    And Alina #39, I know exactly how you feel sister. I’m of Chinese descent and grew up in Australia where I felt that I had to aspire to everything that was white and middle-class, but felt SO inadequate. I didn’t know that it was because I’d never be white. What this blog shows is that all of these things that we felt inadequate about are the trappings of that “privileged” position of being of the dominant culture. That’s why self-effacing and cultural appropriation have become such a white thing. As an “ethnic” (such a white term) my difference is evident. If I were white, I’d probably feel stifled and would want to have a Chinese tattoo to assert my individuality (but I’d probably love my coffee).


  70. White people do love their Starbucks, but it’s not enough now to order a tall latte. You need a custom drink.
    “I’ll have the usual….tall iced nonfat latte with two pumps of sugar-free hazelnut syrup…no whip. Thanks.”
    You can even get this on your Starbucks gift card now, so you don’t have to say it every time, but white people like saying it every time, especially when their hipster friends are with them.


  71. OMG. I think I’m white. I LOVE coffee! I drink it everyday, and I have a Starbuck’s card that I am constantly refilling. I also buy organic fair trade coffee to “make a difference.”

    Other white stuff I do:
    Biking, hiking, snorkeling, cross-country skiing, recycling. Additionally I dream of riding a European city bike through the streets of Paris to shop at the fromagerie et boulangerie.

    Oh, did I mention that my significant other is white? I’m AA.

    This site is hilarious. It’s a broad generalization of middle and upper class whites, as well as other ethnicities of those classes.

    I’m looking forward to what Asian, Hispanic, and Black people like. LOL.


  72. hmmm, i had my first cup of coffee about 3 months ago. I am 29 (multi ethnic brown girl)….maybe there is truth to this? lol


  73. ps. Elle, we like hot cocoa ! lol


  74. to john #58

    being on the pill makes our hands cold, lol!


  75. this is so true. i am obsessed with starbucks.


  76. yeah i know that i am very slow without my mourning drip. it feels like that someone has put me in slow mode. i don’t drink starbucks often but when i have the chance i go and enjoy a cup on the go.


  77. on February 23, 2008 at 7:05 pm Experienced White Person

    This entire list of things is only loved by a smaller portion of white people: what they call in politics the “Middle Class Liberal Elite”. A list that truly encompasses what ALL or MOST white people love would certainly not include “being the only white person around”. That would go on the blog “Stuff White People Fear”. Nor would a proper list include “Natural Medicines” or “Asian Fusion Food”. “Natural Medicine”, for your average white American, consists of Pepto-Bismol, Aspirin and Miller Lite, along with a second-rate court drama show. I don’t know if this blog was written by a white person or not. If it wasn’t, well, the writer didn’t do their research. If it was, well, in the words of 3 Six Mafia’s Crunchy Blac, “Y’all gotta catch up wit yo kind, dawg!”


  78. on February 23, 2008 at 9:25 pm Great writing, but...

    The writer of this blog is excellent at putting words together in clever and creative ways that make them roll off of your mental voice so smoothly when you’re reading. So thus, I give mad props to the writing talent.

    But I agree with the experienced white person. This whole website is about the stereotypes people have of yuppie white americans. Go to any country and there are jokes about those crazy americans who love credit cards and HD-tv and paying $8 for a cup of coffee.

    That’s the amazing thing about having a good sense of how to actually write and how to be a good story teller. You can say the most generic every day stuff, and pile on a ton of generalizations that allow you to avoid actually analyzing anything, but if you say it in a clever and melodic way, people laugh and say “OMG, that’s so true! Haha!”

    You know what I want to see on here? Nascar, pick-up trucks, and professional wrestling. I want to see an entry about Christmas lights that get left on the house until the 4th of July.

    Or maybe we could just call a spade a spade and admit that it’s a class thing and not a race thing. But that might take away the fun, because it’s one thing to make fun of other people for being white. You’re supposed to be proud of yourself for your own heritage, which can mean thinking yours is better than theirs as long as you don’t try to act on that opinion or do anything remarkably aggressive about it. But if you start making fun of rich people because “they’re rich” and “they have money,” all of a sudden you’re a socialist or just jealous. At least you don’t get the sour grapes argument when you poke fun at white people, and you’re allowed to keep your political leanings.


  79. haha this is so true..they are obsessed with coffee and those corner coffee shops! I mean every race has their own common thing that they do and this happens to be the “white thing”. In response to the person above me: theres no need to get so defensive, this is supposed to be something fun and humorous. If they wanted to write about nascar,christmas lights and wrestling, it would’nt be funny anymore. It would just be a blog about random things people like but on the boring side. When listening to any stand up comedian, they all make fun of races and what people do because its funny and people like to hear about it so why not. If you feel so strongly then maybe you should start your own blog.


  80. LOL—–They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.


  81. White people love to talk to you in coffeeshops like they are your best friends They will tell you ALL their business and then want to know ALL yours.

    they will also look at the background on your computer and they to scrike up some lame conversation about it.

    this is why Apple made so much $$$ from ipod. you must use it in a coffeeshop. it;s like reading a book on a plane to keep people from talking to you…

    PS; white, im not stupid, i just dont feel like proofreading this


  82. white people love blogs


  83. Stuff African Americans Like:
    Kool-Aid

    I mean seriously, I saw a commerical for a Kool-Aid packets, not one person in the commercial was caucasian. There must be a market out there somewhere for dentists that cater to african americans.


  84. Actually, if you really cared to even google search this claim (though it’s not like any others on your site have been painstakingly researched) you would find out that we drink more soda than coffee. Whites (and blacks) drink sodas around the clock. The vast majority of coffee in the US is consumed in the morning. Actually, water, from tap and bottle, wins the popularity contest. The English, the most whitest people on the planet, favor tea. The biggest coffee drinkers are Asians, and cities like Seoul are resplendent with coffee shops. But like the person says, about five comments earlier, these articles are generalizations based on one person’s observations of overprivileged upper middle class whites. My guess is that the authors of this blog live near some really exclusive well-scrubbed white community near LA, Chicago or NYC with lots of soccer moms, recent college grads, and classic yuppie types, and since the hate they feel towards whites prevents them from forming friendships with white people, they haven’t actually gotten to personally know any white people. To the writers of this blog, white people are some ugly, uniform caricature.


  85. Thats true about white people calling coffee something other than the word “coffee.”

    I used to work at a starbucks and I got confused alot with these coffee terms because I’m young, kids my age dont drink too much coffee and I had parents that aren’t native to the country. so coffee terms were not tought to me. The first one I remember was “can I get a redeye?”
    I responded, “Thats not on the menu.” My boss yelled at me.


  86. How can anyone entertain the idea FOR EVEN A SECOND that the peopl who write this blog are not white??? It’s actually not hard to figure out if you click around on the page, people…


  87. Funny because I LOVE coffee but I don’t need it. I just love the way it tastes. Have you done an entry on coffee shops yet? Coffee shops – sigh. People pretending to study but really they’re checking everyone out.


  88. Hmm… I think the ideal follow-up to this entry would one on oxygen. Really, ALL white people are totally into it. Some even go so far as to act as though they’ll die without it. Others are so into it that they even take it with them when they go swimming underwater. As if there isn’t an ample supply several feet above them (maybe that air for the common folks just isn’t good enough for them).


  89. on February 25, 2008 at 3:07 am TwinkieInDenial

    I think things are becoming a step above starbucks now. instead of supporting the big chain coffee dealer, it’s trendier to go to more obscure cafes where the lights are dimmer and people talk about how they’re torn between hilary and obama.

    i <3 middle class california


  90. >> TwinkieInDenial

    This is absolutely true now, this falls back on “Indie Cred.” Here in this college town the two most “underground” coffee places to be and be seen are places like “Black Dog Coffee” (Which offer exclusively Free Trade blends) and the Holy Grail, “All Saints Coffee.” This place is full furnished with antique furniture, fully populated by “hipsters” and the biggest key, open 24 hours.

    On another note, I’m waiting for the entry on Diet Coke. I and many fellow white people find Diet Coke just as crucial as oxygen. Its all the pleasures of Coke without the guilt of Sugar and Calories. This also falls into white peoples addiction on caffeine.


  91. Yes, Africans invented coffee, but white people adopted it. It’s the same with the green tea craze right now . . . I’m Asian and have been drinking it and gen mai cha my entire life, but now all the white people are drinking it because it’s healthy and helps them lose weight . . . ridiculous.


  92. I’m white and I hate coffee and Starbucks…join me.


  93. How in the world is money not up here..white people LOVE money


  94. Ok… it’s not just Coffee… EXPENSIVE COFFEE!!!


  95. So what if we like coffee? Should stop because we’re white?
    Whatever, its good and i love it.


  96. Hrm, it seems many people who comment on your blog are utterly and completely unfamiliar with satire. Weird.


  97. Ha ha…yes we do enjoy our coffee


  98. on February 25, 2008 at 1:13 pm White like rice

    Coffee – it’s the trendy white people drug of choice. Since most white people dont do real drugs anymore, they have transferred their addictions to the coffee bean and the many flavor variations. Just like the heroin in the 80′s-90′s and the marijuana of the 90′s-2000′s, each strain gets it’s own exotic name/blend.


  99. Darn right we need coffee. I was a late bloomer when it came to drinking the stuff, but now I can’t function properly without it. I’m like a zombie until I make the morning coffee run. I think it has to do with being at work more than anything, I never drink it on the weekend. All Hail Coffee for getting me through the workday!


  100. Im white, but I despise white culture. I am married to a black woman and I dont like mainstream society. I think my people are sheep, and I cannot relate to any of them. I think the world is force-fed white culture, white history, & white music. Im an avid punk-rock, metal, hip-hop,blues, motown,r&b fan. I choose to go against the grain on “Whiteisms” and I wish more people would.

    This world would be a much better place.

    Oh yeah, and coffee sucks!!!

    Finger


  101. This is so SPOT ON. You know what I would really LOVE…

    WHITE COFFEE!!!.

    That way I could drink twenty gallons a day and not have to keep buying those damn teeth whiteners.

    Other beverages should also be white.. With caffeine so although there is sprite / 7up, that is useless in my world. Red Bull is a good concept but a little too toxic for daily consumption in the a.m. per my preference…also not good with expensive sandwiches or salads. White Coffee YES..now make it happen UCLA grads.


  102. [...] #1 Coffee: “But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes.” [...]


  103. word! my boss is arab and i am white. we work in a cafe…. i keep telling him that all these white people who keep moving into the neighborhood will pay extra for “fair trade” coffee b/c they think they’re making a difference….. then they don’t really have to do anything but buy coffee….. And this is what is so!


  104. I read the post..found it amusing..find it true..90% of it. My first thought..I didn’t realize that White people had so much of their own ‘cultural diversity’ but the issue isn’t about having or not having cultural diversity..its about..seeing the world..consisting of people..individuals..who have two eyes..two ears..etc..we are all human..we all act stupid sometimes..and we all have our class differences..but at the end of the day..you can’t get butthurt..jus cuz someone pointed out an obvious thing..about your culture..hell..i wish i’d get a dollar..every time someone impersonated an indian person..talkin like raaa-ta–teeh toh or…beggin me to do the apu accent….or ask me questions about my cultural upbringing..etc…i don’t get butthurt..cuz thas part of my culture….their is a reason why indians talk that..or think like that..now if a white/black/brown/other person..was raised in a geographical environment..different..than the ones they knew [as in the land of their Ancestors]..you would these individuals..NOt sharing the same attitudes..as their white counterparts..living elsewhere..being raised by different cultural norms..

    The Human Family – Caucasian [European, Indian]
    Black [African]
    Oceanic [Malanesian, Micronesian, Polynesian
    Australian Aboriginal]
    Mongolian {Asian, Native American]

    Out of these groupings..I fall under the Asian Category..just because it’ devised in a way..to fill the gap by grouping as a whole..the remaining..nonwhite..african..or oceanic persons]

    Since different geogrphaic climate and material conditions have shaped the peoples of this world..its no wonder..why our physical bodies..look dissimilar…ie an Eskimo..short and bulky…is better suited to survive in a colder climate..and tall and lanky African person.. is better suited for a hotter climate..one conserves heat..the other repels….texture in skin changes as a result..more layers..for an Inuit from the Artic..and less subcontenous layers of skin on an African… and being a nomadic species…we’ve traveled the world..only to not understand our own biodiversity…as a species..only focused on the surface…but upon closer inspection..we are able to see why an asian person has widerspread eyes..while an caucasian..does not..or why a caucasion has less melanin..than a noncaucasion…is it our genes..and our environment…and we need to be more accepting of each other..because we are part of this vast global economy..that in the coming days of globalization..our differences..will become more apparent..yet our behaviors..will be more similar.

    The reality is..we close our eyes..intentionally..we are reluctant to change..because change..upsets the balance..we’ve longed to create..and its because of our own..limitations..that the eyes of ethnocentrism..continue to deceive us..and probably the only thing..stopping us from coming together..as a unified human race…


  105. Sunroofs for their cars

    and

    Peanut Butter with Chocolate (ugh!)


  106. on February 25, 2008 at 7:17 pm O'Maolchathaigh

    I agree, peanut butter and chocolate – ugh!

    However, peanuts and pork is good to me, possibly because as a kid I found that peanut butter and bacon go together. There are Thai and Puerto Rico dishes made with pork and peanut sauce. Really worth eating.


  107. A black friend of mine said she is the only black nurse of 35 nurses in her unit and drinks coffee due to peer pressure.


  108. on February 26, 2008 at 7:53 am askmewhyiwearamask

    star bucks is cheaper than dunkin donuts. just so you know. and coffee is from HISPANIC and AFRICAN countries. just so you know.


  109. i dont like coffee :(


  110. I’m sitting here drinking a shade grown, fair trade, cup of African coffee (land of a thousand hills) laughing my butt off! Well done.


  111. White people always become over zealous about EVERYTHING to the point it becomes white and people forget the orgins of things…like coffee…which is very much a part of “ethnic” cultures. I used to work in a coffee shop and white people love the ordering process even when they don’t understand what it is they are ordering. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to explain that cappuccino is mostly foam when they would complain they did not get enough of expresso/milk! Love this site!


  112. [...] are so empty as to be translucent) do not exhibit the attributes above. Black people do not like coffee, Apple products, to study abroad, bicycles, or recycling. Black, yellow, red, brown, and purple [...]


  113. bahahaha, all these serious comments on here by corny whites, are way funnier than the actual blog entries.


  114. Funny, I’m a non coffee drinker and one of two Black guys in an office with about 12 Whites where the coffee machine works more than our copier and fax machine. The are Dunkin Donuts freaks. Every month it’s an issue when our boss asks my coworker to pick up coffee at the Dunkin Donuts near his house. Anyway, today Dunkin Donuts is having a special since Starbucks will be shutting down for three hours for training but nobody likes Strarbucks coffee for some reason or the other.


  115. Anything but Caribou Coffee, which is owned by the Politically Incorrect company, Arcapita.


  116. I can’t decide if this website is amusing because it is so completely wrong, or because everyone seems to think it is dead on.


  117. Coffee is definitely one of the things that I loveth!!!


  118. Things White people like:

    White people love writing/reading about what white people love.


  119. Well Coffee, we wake up everyday and my husband I take turns to make the coffee and bring to the bed room, (yes we do have a timer, but sometimes forget to get the coffee ready for the next morning. BUT the most important thing is having the 1/2 and 1/2 for the coffee. We do use 2 % milk in the house, and when there is no 1/2 & 1/2 my husband says it turns the coffee gray(yuk)
    Coffee is a great invention. thanks for reading my BLOG.
    New York says bye and GOD BLESS THE WORLD.


  120. on February 26, 2008 at 3:53 pm BurdenedWhiteMan

    Most of the things pointed out here are what I would consider wrong with white people. Aside from liking the water and beer, most of the “stuff” is liberal garbage. Nothing iritates me more than a politically correct, led by the nose white person. Except black people who think they know what they are talking about.


  121. 1) White people don’t actually really like coffee, they like starbucks which actually tastes like used dishwashing water, but they look cool drinking coffee so they managed to come up with 1001 crap methods of diluting it so you don’t actually have to taste any coffee.

    2) A lot of other non-white races like coffee (Arabs/Mediterraneans in general etc…) its just that you have noticed coffee drinking because East Asians don’t really like it (because they prefer to drink yellowy tasteless warm water and call it tea).


  122. White people love talking about how many rounds of golf they played last year. White people love making jokes about what bad golfers they are. White people love checking on their stocks. White people love refinancing their homes. White people believing they are poorer than they really are.


  123. on February 26, 2008 at 6:50 pm WhiteAustinGirl

    Coffee was a great pick for #1. I’ve been drinking it every day since elementary school…


  124. I want to drink coffee now, but I won’t get to sleep. Maybee I’ll have a microbrew.


  125. i’m so white, my mom makes sure to always give me coffee for holidays (and my boyfriend too, if i have one at the time)!


  126. [...] lastly, because I just can’t take it anymore, let’s talk about coffee. I do not have anything to add to [...]


  127. Wow, I’m so white!


  128. Really white people love ultra gourmet coffee – forget microbrew, now it is microroast…mmm. When we consume our microroast at home, we also love following microscopic instructions on how to care for each bean to make the perfect pot of French Press.

    White people also love to catalog and rank the best coffeehouses and microbrews on the world wide web : http://www.coffeeratings.com/.


  129. I am one of the whitest people I know and have never had a drop of coffee in my life. It smells great but tastes like crap and I am allergic to caffeine. I have always felt like a freak and have had several white people ask me how I can get up in the morning without coffee – very easily when you have never had an addiction to it. I also bond more with other people who do not drink coffee.


  130. I drink coffee cause im gangsta like that


  131. I love coffee. I’m white. My wife has never had a cup of coffee. She’s a Canadian. Oh: white, too. We live in a cold place. Lots ‘o white about.


  132. I’d like to point out the inconsequential fact that I sell both fair trade and non-fair trade coffee. Both are a dollar 50. Also 90% of the asians DO buy iced white mochas. No matter how long they stand in line pretending they don’t know what they want.


  133. there could never be a website called “Stuff Black People Like” cause it would consists of 5 things, Fried Chicken, Grape Drink, White Woman, Watermelon, and Not Havin A Job.


  134. Maybe I didnt read enough reponses, but you guys didnt even bring up coffee preparation at home. White ppl must grind up whole beans, then either use a french press or the drip method. We cant use those inferior methods of a machine or a percolator. Also, why didnt you bring up the importance of Espresso?? I thought it was common knowledge that we all have espresso makers. I thought you guys knew white ppl!!!!


  135. White people love earnestness.
    White people love self-righteousness.

    White people love to take offense before seeking to understand the source of said offense and then earnestly, and self-righteously explain why they are offended.

    White people who hate white culture are the whitest people of all.

    Anyone needing a refresher on the definition of ‘whiteness’ (which includes a healthy percentage of those commenting I’m afraid), please see post #16 by Rudi.


  136. on February 27, 2008 at 9:50 am superhappyfuntime

    You know what you should add? Another entry called “#***: White people love to pretend they don’t like things that white people like”.

    That dude up toward the top who said “I’m white and I don’t like coffee” is a lying cue-ball.

    GO AGAINST THE STATUS QUO MAN!


  137. DONT TAZE ME BRO!


  138. mmmmm…oh sweet nectar of the gods!


  139. this blog is brilliant, though it should be called ‘Stuff White Liberal Americans like’. It all fits my flaming liberal sister in San Fransisco perfectly, but doesn’t fit us white people on the other end of the spectrum, commonly referred to as ‘white trash’ by said flaming liberals. To get you started, we like stuff like football, nascar, cowboy boots, trucks, guns, beer, our mommas and Jesus. Although we do like coffee too.


  140. *slurp* What’s all this business about white people and coffee? *slurp*


  141. So let me get this straight — all these lists are absolutely law, and anyone white should be ashamed of it. Okay. Is there anything besides snide, ironic carping that can make up for institutional racism, or is this it?

    I ask because I recognize not white people in these lists, but some white people. But then, that’s the point, right? By seeing that, I’m supposed to be reminded that white people have been doing just that to non-white races (and even Italians, Irishmen, Poles and actual Caucasus caucasians like Arabs and Hebrews) for centuries.

    Reaffirming stereotypes is okay, so long as it’s not from the white perspective, and it’s done comedically (that’s Carlos Mencia’s whole career, isn’t it?).

    I’m clearly too dense to understand why these lists are anything more that mildly amusing (and in fact, they get old quickly), and I know I’m going to be pilloried for even posting (ooh, look, whitey’s perplexed!), but seriously — these lists are clever, but hardly emblematic.

    And before anyone asks, yes, I talk this way all the time, and yes, I am white.


  142. on February 27, 2008 at 2:12 pm black privledge

    Does anyone know why Mormans do not drink coffee?
    My organization is starting a class action lawsuit against Starbucks for getting so many people addicted to their product. If anyone wants to get in on this we’re having a meet up at 3pm (we’re unemployed) tommorrow night outside of the Starbuck’s on 125th St. We figure that even if we lose in court, Starbucks will give of free bags of coffee and we can sell those on the train to white people. Were dried up our free supply of M&M Peanuts.


  143. [...] In light of this, I feel REALLY GOOD about promoting Land of a Thousand Hills Coffee here.  Apparently it’s [...]


  144. All my white friends love coffee


  145. I’ll display my whiteness by over analyzing this site but I think whats being made fun of here is not ‘white people’ in particular, its progressive liberals who think they are so edgy and non-conformist when they are really so stereotypically common and predictable that its funny. Basically, the ‘anti-establishment’ crowd has become the establishment


  146. Recliners, beer, and TV


  147. This site blows my mind. It’s clear from reading the comments that one of the things that white people like is this blog. Which is really meta. Which white people also like. White people love this blog and they love the very fact that they love this blog.


  148. Wow! I must be white. but i’m not. i guess i should go find a bucket of chicken.


  149. [...] My Defense I only use my Brita water filter when I’m making coffee using my French [...]


  150. coffee is black- therefore it’s for black people


  151. I brew Starbucks coffee at home, but I don’t like going there. After reading the blog and the comments I feel I’ve been taking my whiteness for granted by not displaying “white-like” behavior for the world to see, or maybe on a subconscious level I’m ashamed of my white ways (over analyzing… illogical…how white).


  152. I’d have to disagree with this one. Coffee is a major Ethiopian staple and is rooted in tradition and culture (mainly because it was discovered there)

    Starbucks and its overcommercialization may have been a “white” thing, but coffee itself isnt.


  153. Wow, could you IMAGINE how much blacks would get pissed off at this site if it was the other way around…I love how blacks can get away with this crap, but if a white guy was to do it, all hell would break lose, even in all the jails…where most black people are!


  154. HERE’S ANOTHER GENERALIZATION (AND THIS SITE IS PROOF OF IT):

    Americans and others from the western world (black, white, etc.) make generalizations about the whole human race based entirely on their own insular ignorance about the rest of the world.

    By “white people” you mean whites in the US or other western countries.

    Go to Latin America, and the generalizations on this blog fall flat. EVERYBODY drinks coffee in Latin America — Brazil is 70% brown and black and they drink coffee all day long. Never heard a white Latin American say “you don’t want to see me in the morning before my coffee!”

    You black and white Americans should get out more.


  155. [...] shop that has better coffee than any Starbucks I’ve been to.  It’s freakin heaven. Btw, did I mention I liked designer coffee?(seriously though, visit that link, AFTER you read mine… it’s the freaking funniest [...]


  156. The comments on this blog are way funnier than the blog itself…


  157. and btw I french press my fair trade coffee EVERY morning-how white is that..?


  158. I want to try that Coffee that Jack Nicolson made famous in “The Bucket List”.

    You know.

    The kind that passes through a tree climbing cat first then washed out of the excrement and roasted.

    What is it called?

    I think black people invented that especially for white people.


  159. I’m not realizing it until now, but coffee is a white people drink. I rarely ever see black people drinking coffee. Never would see one in a coffee shop. Why is it that I am following this stereotype in liking coffee. I hate myself. Well, people that say they “need” coffee in the morning are ridiculous and just need to quit being pansies. Wake up!! That food to the right over there looks delicious.


  160. Your are all a bunch of fucking racists, especially the idiots that created this website. What the hell is wrong with you people? We live in a multicultural world – White, Black, Brown, Yellow, who fucking cares? Why do you need to draw attention to the color of someone’s skin and then categorize them accordingly? What does it have to do with anything?

    I’m white. I don’t drink coffee, I hate expensive sandwiches, and I have no problem drinking tap water. Nothing I do or anyone does has ANYTHING to do with skin color – it has to do with where we grow up, the culture/religion we experienced, and the social environment(s) that shaped us. Skin color is an excuse to segregate humans into artificial categories. Spend 3 months in the sun and guess what? Your skin color is different! So, by your logic that means that based on that color, I’m inclined to act differently.

    That’s the worst reasoning I’ve ever heard, and I seriously hope you didn’t go to a University because if I were the Dean of that University, I’d tear up your degree and shit on it.

    You all sound like my idiot bassackwards grandfather who seems to be able to relate the phrase ‘the jews’ to everything you can possibly imagine from the state of football to rationalizing to himself that he’s too old, senile, and out of touch with reality to know who Tom Petty is. His pride and his denial cause him to blame that on someone – usually ‘the jews’. Whoever created this site is no better than him. Shame on you.

    Read a book or something. Or turn off your idiot box – all that reality TV is melting your brains and inhibiting your ability to think properly.


  161. Man, imagine if knowing who Tom Petty is was the standard for measuring senility…


  162. don’t know if someone else already mentioned it…but for southern whitefolx, it’s all about the diet coke!


  163. this website is hilarious. people that take it seriously need to remove whatever is stuck up their ass and move on.

    peace and respect.


  164. >>this website is hilarious. people that take it seriously need to remove whatever is stuck up their ass and move on.

    >>peace and respect.

    HAHA this is totally funny. First, he insults you, then he says, “Peace and Respect”

    Wotta Moroon!


  165. This is pretty funny stuff. Racy, yes, but funny nonetheless. However, the blade cuts both ways so you have to consider what the site would be like if, even in light hearted humor, it focused on black/mexican/asian people.

    What, I think, makes this different from how it’s characterized the more angry comments is that it’s probably written by white people… or a some combination of folk that includes white people. I don’t know that others would be able to capture the humor as well. Or I could be totally wrong. :-)


  166. “…characterized BY the…”


  167. on February 28, 2008 at 4:34 pm Nothing Better To Do

    @#14: “You know what else is white? Making a list about white people.”

    Ha ha too true.


  168. I’ve started 4 blogs in the past year and combined they haven’t got the hits you have. You are golden.


  169. This was a lame blog.

    I got one: White people like to breathe air, and sometimes a nice drink of cold water!!!


  170. So us “Seattle-ites” must be some of the whitest people ever since there’s a freakin’ coffee shop on just about every corner! And if you live outside the city-limits, we have these nifty little drive-thru coffee huts…


  171. I live in Philadelphia and have worked 6am shifts at Whole Foods market for 2 years straight. I have NEVER read something so true in my entire life.


  172. racism..

    drinking coffee ( hot or cold ) doesn’t depend to any individuals.. ( black or white )

    it depend on the taste of a person..
    taste of food…
    taste of drinks…
    type of food…
    type of drinks..
    etc…

    it is not based in the color.. type.. race of and individuals…
    its just common sense…


  173. This website is ridiculously funny. Anyone who is offended or taking it so seriously is missing the point. It’s just observations.
    You know, the show Seinfeld could have run forever with material like this.


  174. This is genius and I love it. It agrees with all my stereotypes of white Americans.
    Can you do one for white British people as well? I love them.
    I’m Irish (genuine Irish, grew up in Ireland – gains many brownie points) and I love making them feel guilty because their ancestors oppressed by ancestors.


  175. I’m white


  176. Yes, I am white & I love coffee. Now that I think of it none of the nonwhite people in my office drink coffee. I always thought no coffee was what made them so backstabbing & cranky. Maybe it is something else……


  177. What about us white people who hate coffee? I thought I was one of the “selected few” who can’t stand to drink it but more and more I am meeting other people (white of course) who don’t drink it either. Now I do drink tea-hot or iced so is that a “white thing” too?

    Now, what gives me a morning jolt is the 95 cent X-Large Diet Coke from McD’s. Apparently this is only available where I live (in St. Louis) because I have been to other parts of the US and the workers look at me like I am from Mars if I ask them if they have that special.


  178. Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.


  179. is this saying that black people are too cheap to buy (good) coffee?


  180. New #1

    Pretending that we really like Black people.


  181. I heart Loaded Diaper’s comment!


  182. I am totally amazed by white people’s crazed need for coffee. I could never stand it but where I work I am in charge of making sure the coffee is stocked and the machine is working and people have for real almost physically harmed me if something interferes with their consumption of coffee. Insanity!


  183. I think the only item I can see missing from the list would be:

    Exaggerated importance of reading as seen by reading deep literature and frowning on material such as Popular Mechanics and using that info to actually fix something;
    as well as reading “the book” before going to see “the movie” just so you can walk out of the theater saying the book was much better.


  184. white power! oh brother…trolled!


  185. [...] in their brevity rather than having to muck through 20 paragraphs for a punchline. Tragically, this one was written about me. Robots from the future like coffee [...]


  186. Hahaha! Love it! They forgot Organic too…has to be organic and have some f’ed up name like Sumatran Summer Blend or Peruvian High Mountain Indian Roast.

    Poor, poor white people…always drinking that coffee stuff…and you too poor non-white people….always thinking about the white people all day and all night.

    Suckers!!! ;) I am getting full on all the people getting pissed off over these truly entertaining blogs!!!

    PS. How about Beer, we love beer more than coffee. Give us credit for it now!!!


  187. It seems like white people like just about everything from this site…


  188. Coffee sucks shit. And so does this blog. And so does america and its obsession with race. And so does my mouth on a delicious milkshake. I drink your fucking milkshake. I DRINK IT UP.


  189. Hm. Was that a ‘There Will Be Blood’ reference? If so, Penis, I love you.


  190. I drank 1/2 a cup so far this year.


  191. I guess this site is kind of funny, here and there.

    I live in America and yeah, Starbucks makes me want to cringe when I’m reminded at how they’ve fucked up a simple thing like a cup of coffee. I watched the Cuban bakery, pros at making a delicious cafe con leche (and that’s with whole milk, thanks) in my gentrifying neighborhood get terrorized by people who order their retarded shit at Starbucks. You know the type – fat people in SUVs ordering coffee-shakes at over 1000 calories each. mmm.

    I want to punch people in the head when they get all bent out of shape when the Cubanos aren’t interested in replicating what they’re used to getting at Starbucks. Now THAT’s white. “You don’t have lo-fat soy??? What am I going to drink then? Whaaaa!”

    But in reading the responses to this posting, it just shows that most people don’t travel the world much. To wit, you sound like a bunch of village idiots. Get out more.


  192. on March 1, 2008 at 2:34 am Welsh Coal Miner

    Interesting…funny…and much of it very well written. A tip of the hat, there. But shouldn’t people just go ahead and like whatever it is they like? Do we actually have to worry about the cultural relevance of it all? Is it really any different to be one who says ‘You do NOT want to see me before my morning apricot nectar…’? It seems to me that most of us are just trying to do the best we can to get from today to tomorrow in whatever quirky little world we live in. And some worlds are pretty quirky. I’m in favor of people doing whatever it is that they feel they need to do. Coffee…bottled water…shots of vodka…whatever. I hope it all works out for you…


  193. @67(eriquia): “[the things white people like that don't come from "white" places:]

    4) Oil

    and the oil thing…well, we don’t have to go there….”

    I’m going there, and I’m starting by saying Fuck You. Unless you grow all of your own food, produce your own electricity, and never use anything that has to be shipped to get to you, that oil is largely responsible for your quality of life. That’s not a white thing, that’s an EVERYBODY thing.. until we can come up with something better.

    Being an asshole on the internet is one thing, but feeling so secure in your fucking moral superiority when you aren’t even aware of the basic requirements of your lifestyle is spectacularly dense.


  194. This is bull. I’ve been very white for 49 years. And I think there might be 5 things I Identify with. Talk about sterotyping.


  195. My mom is Hispanic and loves her coffee. My dad is white and hates it. Haha


  196. The responses are almost as good as the posts. I like the serious ones… using the power of the internet to fight racism! Woohoo! Jeez, some of these guys are really taking the fun out of stereotyping. And yeah, I’m a “progressive”, left-leaning, white male. I love coffee.


  197. This site is a pretty bad idea. Races criticizing themselves (even tongue in cheek) make racism easier. If a Jew made a similar site, it would be constantly cited by anti-Semites. Humor should have some limits.


  198. Sorry Matt, but this site is hilarious and is a very good idea indeed; an update of the book “The Preppie Handbook”, or a blog version of “The Official Politically Correct Dictionary And Handbook” by Henry Beard & Chris Cerf….

    And you know what? Jews HAVE been doing the same thing — making fun of themselves — for scores of decades; every been to a stand-up show at a Catskills resort, or seen a Billy Crystal comedy special? Last I heard, no one’s calling him an anti-Semite…. Besides, I don’t think we have a term for “Anti-Liberal-WASP”, do we?


  199. coffee is ghetto, i like toast


  200. coffee is ghetto and i like toast


  201. White people like coffee. But we don’t like Starbucks. We just don’t. People have hated Starbucks since before it moved to my NorCal area. Maybe people in Seattle like Starbucks but it has always been scorned and ridiculed by every white person I’ve known.

    A few years back, I regularly participated in an online, mostly white discussion group. People from all over the USA and Canada participated. One of the (white, Denver area) people on the group loved Starbucks and was naive enough to say so. Her status in the group dropped immediately. It was like “Ew! That is sooooo uncool.” I don’t think she’s ever recovered her prior semi-hip, likable image.

    Some of the white preteens and teens in my area frequent the local Starbucks. (It was embarassing when one opened in my town. OMG, what’s next? A strip mall?) But the mostly buy tea and non-coffee products. I think that Starbucks is considered cool in middle school. In high school, going to Starbucks considered neutral (neither cool nor uncool).

    White adults hate, hate, hate Starbucks, just like we hate hate hate Wal-Mart. Even fair-traded, organically grown coffee is bad/evil if it’s from Starbucks. We will drink Starbucks if there is no other coffee available (or convenient). But we’d rather drink something that’s not from a conglomerate. (We will drink Peets, which is a large chain, but that’s the ONLY coffee chain that’s acceptable to say that you like.) At least we don’t have to worry about them opening a Wal-Mart near our town.


  202. I’m fascinated by this blog. At first read, it’s hilarious. But then I started thinking a lot about the blog, what it really could be saying, and it somehow became less funny.

    I have come to agree with many of the comment authors that this is not really a blog about race, it’s actually a blog about social class. NASCAR, BeautyShots, mullets, WalMart and other markers of lower “white” socioeconomic class don’t appear on this blog. Somehow, then, this blog is “okay” because the classism endemic in our lives and social constructs is the one debate that America hasn’t yet had. Many times it’s masked under the term “racism”.

    A separate revelation also led me to think that this blog could easily be authored by a right-wing republican. This blog says many of the same things that the right wing fanatic radio talk show hosts would say about liberals.

    I still haven’t figured out why, but all of the sudden I realized that if this blog were written by right wing fanatics, it wouldn’t be so funny to me; I’d just be mad. What is that all about? I still don’t know. But this blog does make me think.


  203. i agree with the last post. the stuff white people dont like is little more true and cynical.

    stuffwhitepeopledontlike.blogspot.com


  204. [...] recommend starting at #1, which will allow us non-coffee drinkers to laugh and agree. We all know one of those [...]


  205. on March 2, 2008 at 11:35 am Ameri-Canadian

    Yes, oh yes, the coffee phenomenon. However, please be advised that our good neighbor to the North (Canada, for all of you stupids out there) may enjoy it even more. Not only do they have Starbucks, Second Cup, etc, etc…but the holy grail of java houses — TIM HORTONS.

    And, trust me, it is enjoyed by all. White, black, yellow, purple. Whatever tint your skin is, you will drink Tim Horton’s coffee.


  206. - re. coffee cultures: Arabs and Italians are white.

    - If the author realizes that everyone likes coffee, then why write this post? Especially, why put it at number 1? Next the author will say it’s a “white thing” to like Coke and Pepsi. Pointless.


  207. on March 2, 2008 at 12:30 pm Abd al-Husayn

    I’m not white and I prefer to purchase free-trade products too. I don’t think that spending a couple dollars more will save the world. I do think that it’s a good idea to support businesses that pay people a fair wage. I try not to shop at Walmart for the same reason.


  208. To the guy that is like: OMGZ I MARRIED A BLACK WOMAN SO I’M LIEK BLACK MYSELF LAWLZ WHITE SUXXORZ OMGZZZ

    Chill out. You like coffee, you skinny little white man who is trying to run from himself.

    Did you know that just because I listen to R&B, I’m better than the average white person and all the black people love me? True story. They accepted me as their own.

    I’m-a go sip some coffee now.


  209. I’m white, and a lot of these things are true, which is funny.

    And if this was about black people or hispanic people, it surely would be all over the news.


  210. im half white and its weird that some things i relate perfectly too…and how some things are fuckin ridiculous.

    its like there are some places where i can she the white shining through in my life


  211. [...] #1 Coffee « Stuff White People Like March 3, 2008, 1:41 pm Filed under: Uncategorized #1 Coffee « Stuff White People Like No Comments so far Leave a comment RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI [...]


  212. six million hits, just to tell 30 of america what they already know? Sweet deal.


  213. PEOPLE GET A GRIP!

    Thats what is wrong with the US, and everyone in it. Not politics, race, or economic-status, but your fuggin’ HUMOR!

    Right now, you live in one of the best places on earth to live, and you bitch and whine and moan about everything under the sun. Be happy that you have the damned luxury of whining! And learn to laugh at yourselves!

    LRN2LAFF@YURZ3LF!


  214. “I think Starbucks is not cool anymore; if you go to a Starbucks regularly, the only way not to meet with disapproval is if there literally isn’t any other coffee place in town. But if that’s the case, you have the opportunity to add hurriedly, with a hint of frustration and apology in your tone, “I really wish we had a good local coffee shop around here, but ya know, I have to get my brew from somewhere!” Sympathy and commiseration will “ensue.”

    The conundrum in my town is buy from Starbucks like a dork, or buy from the good local coffee house, whose non-white owner steals her barista’s tips and makes them work at night until everything is clean, but tries to only pay them the hours she scheduled them.

    PEOPLE GET A GRIP!

    “Thats what is wrong with the US, and everyone in it. Not politics, race, or economic-status, but your fuggin’ HUMOR!

    Right now, you live in one of the best places on earth to live, and you bitch and whine and moan about everything under the sun. Be happy that you have the damned luxury of whining!

    And learn to laugh at yourselves!”

    Spoken like a trued white girl…either Republican or one of those humorless liberals who are too busy trying to make everything fair and PC to crack a smile.


  215. This place is a hoot. I’m not white, but I imagine the disgruntled are offended because either: a)it is true. But they may feel too evolved or embarrassed by having petty/materialistic or imagery behaviours realized. Most of these properties/behaviours are accurate for the nouveau riche and/or the ones enslaved to metropolis. b)they may feel left out. Probably a cashflow problem obstructing the attainment of this lifestyle. Expendable income always purveys luxuries, both material and immaterial.

    I haven’t read every entry, but I hope there’s one mentioning the official uniform–a $300 pair of weathered/embellished jeans manufactured by some “underground” designer mentioned in all the latest fashion magazines, a $200 “vintage” tee shirt with graphics (probably displaying an eagle or a guitar or any farouche rock star inspiration), and of course, the luxury designer aviator sunglasses. Fashion magazines are like their Bibles. They have to be on top of it in order to know what to do next.


  216. No no Wrong.

    EUROPEANS love COFFEE and drink it as enjoyment

    WHITE PEOPLE LOVE STARBUCKS (pretentious, overpriced, appears foreign)

    big difference, Europeans drink normal coffees and White people drink caramel-mocha–latte grande (which is “european inspired”, but non existent in europe)


  217. has anyone else noticed how ridiculous the concept of “chai tea” is? chai literally means tea. so when you order a chai tea at your local starbucks (or the one within 100 feet of you), you are essentially asking for a “tea tea”, effectively making you a moron. imagine how much time would be saved if we just asked for a tea.


  218. I love coffee — check! I have said “you don’t want to see me…” — check! I drank it in middle school — check! HOWEVER — I avoid fair-trade anything, because deep down, I just don’t give a rat’s ass about anybody who doesn’t think and look like me.


  219. Oh, and I also love WalMart.


  220. I’m Brazilian and I love coffee. Does that make me whiter than I already am even though here in the US I’m, hispanic yet have no Latin blood? It’s good to be part of the American Dream. I’ll now leave the office and have my coffee or my chai. Later I’ll go ride my bike in my leafy suburb and enjoy the good life. I love apple pie too.


  221. Actually, my dad had the expression that cofee was:
    El nectar negro de los dioses blancos …. lol…


  222. It’s true! Coffee is good!! Starbucks is great.
    - http://wweadam.com


  223. [...] musicians, urban hipsters and all their ridiculous obsessions. Some other amusing topics include: Coffee; Barack Obama; Bottled Water; Asian Girls; and Multilingual Children. [...]


  224. on March 4, 2008 at 2:42 am from a real black person...

    …to the obviously NOT “black guy” at comment 133 (who apparently just copped his list from a Dave Chappelle episode and a minstrel show repertoire): there already are top 10 and 20 lists of stuff black people like on the ‘net written by ACTUAL black people, such as:

    http://cobb.typepad.com/cobb/2008/02/stuff-black-peo.html

    my favorite on that list is “hair preparations” – i have 7 half-used jars of the stuff (scalp dressing, hair growth oils, etc) sitting under my bathroom sink as i speak…i especially love my coconut oil/vanilla/almond/honey/sun-ripened raisin blend :o)

    **[a close second from another website is "finding out a criminal is not black": that's right, gotta love those white serial killers! and the black DC snipers one may ask? i admit shocking, but b*tch pleez! that was a total fluke, he and that brainwashed kid barely count...]

    which brings me to “big red” at comment 154: wow. did you seriously think this blog was written by anyone else except a white person? and if you had intended even the tiniest bit of sarcasm in your comment–>poorly executed.


  225. So I am out with my Japanese BF for lunch yesterday and he sees a placard on the table for iced coffee. He says, “I love iced coffee!” I order a capp with extra foam. :D


  226. I hate black people. I think that they stink and are no good. I am proud to be white and classy! I think the only thing blacks are good for is servitude.


  227. I was the first person I know to drink coffee… I started when I was 6. I’m Puerto Rican, it’s tradition.


  228. on March 4, 2008 at 1:31 pm WAY to into my car

    There was a question earlier up there about where’s the reference to white trash, but the point is moot, the rednecks that can actually read are usually incapable of operating a machine any more complex than a coin-operated washer. Of course, this is counting Ford Mustangs and F150s, which are less complex than your average coin-op laundry equipment. However, Poster # 230 has apparently been shown how to Blog (probably by the Asian he buys his reports from, or the Jew that does his taxes). It just goes to show that if you think all blacks are good for is servitude, you should chill out and buy a bag of weed from one. I mean blacks good for servitude? Been there, done that, ended badly!! Learn from history!

    I mean as true as all this is, it’s supposed to be fun, and being mean-spirited is not OK, nor is it PC at all. I have to go to Starbucks and stand in line talking about my 2000 import sedan so I will have no idea what I want, and will have to make the Guatamalan waiter do what he has to, which is wait for MY white ass!!!


  229. Yeah, I admit it. Being white is pretty fucking awesome. I’m riding out this white privilege wave for as long as I can.


  230. on March 4, 2008 at 3:06 pm So White I'm Blue

    Coffee replaced the blood in my veins and the air I breathe. How people can walk, think, or eat without this devine gifts from the heavenly gods is beyond me.


  231. on March 5, 2008 at 12:02 am mama'sbaby,papa'smaybe

    just got done reading the entire list, and i’ve come to a startling revelation. i might be white.
    i don’t know how i feel about this. i’m black (by skin color only, of course), i grew up n “da hood”, i lived in a single-parent home most of my life, but this list definitely has me asking, “what the feezy, my neezy?”

    - i’m in grad school
    - i like mos def
    - i like the outdoors
    - i have black friends
    - i know more about YOUR culture
    - i work for a non-profit
    - i love coffee


  232. on March 5, 2008 at 12:05 am mama'sbaby,papa'smaybe

    ohh,

    - i also want to give it to sarah silverman


  233. I love coffee more than any other white person around me. : /

    I think I need help.


  234. Adolf, go home.

    You all should see Gilmore Girls, Sex in the City, or pretty much any other such sitcom that has a LOT of white people on screen, and you see this unnatural addiction to coffee…to the point of belligerence. I’m not hating, really, I’m not, I’m just saying that this is so true! lol.

    Although my friend from Ethiopia is also addicted to coffee. Their coffee is legit, though, not tainted with the blood and tears of underpaid workers, no matter how “fair trade” Starbucks claims to be…


  235. on March 5, 2008 at 9:04 am white reggie

    Whoa! (word from Oxford white dictionary), Great stuff, but you left out the old school working class white guy who, while actually living on coffee, will say things like, “Can I get a G_D_ cup of plain Amurican coffee!” or “I ain’t payin’ 2 bucks for a G_D_ cup of coffee, how much to refill my mug?”


  236. [...] and humor go together. There is no explanation for it, they just do! Take this post that Clander wrote on Stuff White People Like. It just cracked me [...]


  237. Definitely agree with a PP that it’s much more White to tell the guy next to you in the line at Starbucks that of course Peets is vastly superior, and how you’re so excited that they’re spreading beyond the little coffee shop you used to hang out in in SF in the good old bohemian days, and ho you need one in your town.


  238. I love coffee but had to give it up due to kidney stones…


  239. I’ve never actually met anyone who calls it anything other than coffee. I’m actually a caf. addict, it’s not the coffee. Though, I don’t do coffee, I do espresso.


  240. Well, I really like coffee and I don’t really know a lot of white people that like coffee. All my white friends are into tea… except, I’m half asian. Oops. Guess I don’t add to the stereotype.


  241. drug addicts


  242. on March 5, 2008 at 11:43 pm Mac McFadden

    I only drink coffee (and I call it “coffee” even though I’m a “white guy”)(actually that’s not true, I’m more of a “peachie”) so I can stay awake longer and smoke more Pall Malls. I prefer Yuban or Maxwell House, but Hills Bros. will do. I don’t care much for Starbucks’ coffee and I really don’t care for their prices.
    I started drinking heavily when I was in the Air Force.
    Drinking coffee and smoking Pall Malls are best done whle you are on “break”.
    Since “break” is one of my best work skills, it follows that I drink a lot of coffee and smoke a lot of Pall Malls.


  243. Whats with all the generalizing?


  244. Is all this to say that other than white people do not like these things?


  245. I thought this was quite interesting. Though I have to admit, I’m white and I HATE! Coffee.

    I love Iced Tea though.


  246. I drink crap coffee. But, it’s crap coffee I MUST drink.

    Great, great site. I’m starting at ground zero and working my way up. But, I did notice Flight of the Conchords and yes, I am white and enjoy songs like, “It’s Business Time.”


  247. my roomie is cuban, but she was raised in a pretty white place, so her family is basically white people who tend to do cuban things, not the other way around.

    she drinks so much coffee, sometimes she comes into the room and just tells me stories about how much she was shaking that day. she’s like “i’ve been working on my model [architecture major] for the passed 23 hours and i haven’t slept in 29 hours and even then i only got like…2 hours of sleep. i’ve had 3 cups of coffee and my hands just keep shaking. i can’t make it stop!”

    she’s hilarious. she’s pretty white…which i can now confirm, considering how many things on this list i KNOW she loves…like “juno” and throwing grammy & oscar parties and modern furniture and bottles of water.

    even ethnic people who absorb “white people tendancies” love the same things white people like. i love how this works..


  248. on March 6, 2008 at 1:57 pm Are you Serious

    Hey Metamorphallic:

    I heard vietnamese coffee was extracted from some animals feces that eats the coffee the defacates it out. Interesting. They say it has a smokey taste. Hmmmm….delicious.


  249. Color me whiter than white. Coffee drinker since the age of 10. And, I’m going to go make a cup right now.


  250. on March 6, 2008 at 5:02 pm Monisteragikon

    White. Hate Coffee, it’s nasty. @Rudi, what did you expect anonymous to say? “I hate black people! White people invented coffee not you uppity negroes! White Power!!” And since when is it all right to make generalizations about another person’s race like this? If a white person said all black people love watermelon and fried chicken, have big red lips, talk like ignorant morons and are criminals the black community would be up in arms whether it was a joke or not. They would not stop until that person was financially, socially and emotionally destroyed. They would get death threats, there would be obscene messages scrawled across their house. I guess it’s allright to be racist if you’re black though, because YOU had it so hard 400 years ago before the United States was even created and before you were born. Because of the fact that someone the present white community had no control over mistreated someone no one in the black community ever even knew, we owe you something. No, that’s not the way it works. White people do not owe minorities who’ve never even experienced mistreatment from them anything.


  251. My goodness.
    I own a coffee shop ( the Luna Bean )in Wilson North Carolina where one of my customers told me about this blog and I must say this is the funniest thing I’ve read in so long.
    I’m so glad to know about this blog.
    It’s so true that I’m white and eveidently very white. HAHAHAHAHA! I love to sit and talk with other coffee lovers about coffee and coffee related topics.
    we can spend hours just talking about the prefect bean grinding etc… you guys rocked me with these oh so true slams.
    I see so many of my customers described here as well. “Oh, I’d like a double short ristretto breve’ with a half shot of vanilla and is that vanilla from Madegascar”?
    my word, what ever happened to just a cup of coffee? That would be so far beneath that customer. Sort of like a white person wanting their child to be multi-lingual.
    Whats sup??!!
    Okay, you guys be gentle on my comments but do have fun in any event cause I can handle it. I’m old.
    Max


  252. wait.
    no white person here has mentioned our need for Shade grown or bird friendly beans? this can’t be white people replying.
    Did anyone ever remember the coffee that
    Jack Nicholson made popular?


  253. Britney Spears reminds me of all white people.


  254. STARBUCKS IS A QUAGMIRE

    GO FUCK YOURSELF SEATTLE


  255. on March 7, 2008 at 12:51 am Mac McFadden

    I started drinking coffee when I joined the working world at 14.
    I call it “coffee”. I prefer Yuban or Maxwell House, but Hills Bros will do.
    I have been inside a Starbucks, but I don’t care much for their coffee and I REALLY don’t care for their prices.
    I drink coffee so I can stay awake longer and smoke more Pall Malls.
    I started drinking heavily when I was in the Air Force.
    Drinking coffee and smoking Pall Malls are best done whle you are on “break”.
    Since “break” is one of my best work skills, it follows that I drink a lot of coffee and smoke a lot of Pall Malls.


  256. In response to #203 (anon): I’m white, I love Starbucks coffee, and I really don’t care what anyone else thinks about that. Why on earth do I drink Starbucks coffee when I know it makes me so uncool? Good lord, I must actually like how it tastes. Imagine that. >_> It’s really rather pathetic to base your choice in coffee shops (or anything, for that matter) on what’s “cool”. It’s even more pathetic to look down on other people who don’t particularly care what’s “cool” and what’s not.

    To #43 (praxenakis): I suppose you’re not picky about anything. I don’t order a flavor shot or nonfat milk in my latte just to be picky, I do it because that’s the way I want it, because that’s how I’ll get the most enjoyment out of it. And if someone gets my order wrong, I’ll more than likely thank them as usual and not say a word about it. Also, as an indecisive person, I am indeed one of those white people who stand there looking at the options, trying to decide what exactly I’m in the mood for. However, I DON’T do while standing in line. I only actually get in line once I’ve decided what I want. So don’t you dare lump all of us together. Some of us try damn hard to be polite and considerate.

    Some of you really need to get it through your heads that the vast majority of white coffee drinkers out there aren’t trying to be “cool” and “hip” with their coffee habits. We don’t go to Starbucks (or anywhere else) to be cool. We don’t grind beans to be cool. We don’t prefer one brewing method over another based on how cool they are. It all comes down to taste for most of us.

    And no matter how disgusted Europeans get, some of us just love steamed milk and *gasp* flavorings with our espresso. It makes us horrible human beings, and we know that. We just don’t care. I should mention that I’ve been to Europe, and I’ve tried the whole espresso thing, and I just don’t get it. It tastes horrible. If wanting my coffee to taste good makes me a weak person in anyone’s eyes, then so be it. If me dumping liquid, flavored CoffeeMate in my coffee when I brew it at home offends anyone’s delicate sensibilities, you need to get over that. I’m going to keep doing it anyway.


  257. wow, seriously? what does being white have to do with liking these things? at least white people strive to do something with their lives. good list though, 82 reasons why white people are better than niggers. a list of “what niggers like” just wouldn’t be as fun. fried chicken, grape soda, kool-aid, watermelon, white women, and stealing my fucking car.


  258. Sorry for my ignorance about things that white or black people like or do not like. In fact I’m trying to understand why is so important such kind of thing in lifetime. If it is not hurt anyone, if it makes part of our right of choice and nobody is obliged to, let me know where’s the sin, the fault… I suppose that is worthy searching common points than act as both wp and black had came from different world and emphasize their differences is a scientific necessity to figth against the invaders.
    By the way, it’s not a constructive attitude. Where are we going? To live together or kill each other!


  259. Anonymous 262#

    I think this is supposed to be a fun site…makes me laugh and I’m white as they come….Wow, seriously? Someone has bigger issues than being white or black!


  260. Hate coffee.

    Hate it with a fiery passion. Oh, and I’m allergic to it, and I’m white.


  261. actually, 262, if you weren’t such a dick, i think black people might actually find some of those things on your list funny.

    of course, now they’re just laughing at you being a dick.


  262. How did you get away making this list? I thought blacks would have hanged you by now.


  263. i’m white and i hate coffee.


  264. The Turks are way more into coffee than white people. Most of the Middle East seems to prefer tea. But they call it “chai” when they say it in English.


  265. coffee sucks
    this is just one white persond opinion


  266. mmmmm coffee,
    I even keep it in my Stanley thermos, hanging on my gun rack right along with my deer rifle and shotgun, in my Ford F150 4×4, and drink it out of a Mossy Oak travel mug.

    Dont take life to seriously, You’ll never get out alive.


  267. Hmmm… sad but true. I started drinking coffee in high school, when my friends and I hung out at Denny’s, smoking cigarettes and composing collective poetry. By college, I was known for carrying a 44-oz trucker thermos cup of coffee with me everywhere I went. I often filled it up 3-4 times a day. Now I make more money and I have fresh roasted coffee shipped to me cross-country in 5-lb. bags from an organic free-trade coffee roaster in California. How far I’ve fallen; how white I’ve truly become.


  268. on March 8, 2008 at 12:44 pm Buster Hymen

    No one likes you.


  269. “Anonymous is definitely the whitest respondent on this entry. “To be fair” White people love fairness. “coffee was invented by Africans and was/has been a African/Arab thing.” Especially fairness to other races. People of colour invented coffee, get that, other whites! Not that is was stated otherwise, but anonymous must be glowing with multicultural pride by pointing out the achievements of non-whites.”

    There is nothing white people like more than to point out the whiteness of other people. It makes them feel a little like they themselves are less white than other white people. There are few things that are whiter than this.


  270. Great number one!


  271. Hey Rudi…in response to only white people like disparaging jokes about their own race made by an ethnic minority(very white).
    There is nothing I hate more than racist comedians. I hate the little white guy voice they use to deliver a line…I have never met a white guy who has this voice…do they pull you aside when you are little niglets and teach you this voice cause I know you didn’t learn it from a white guy. Oh and the white girl dance that ironically was made famous by a black character..Carlton..on The Fresh Prince.
    I am white and I don’t like most black comedians for the veryreasons that you said white people did like them..hhmmm


  272. on March 9, 2008 at 2:04 am JillsTempted

    OMG!!! Did you just say niglets…you should be strung up for saying something so horrible and racist. This is supposed to be a funny site not to get all enflamed over. Get a life whitebrite…


  273. HAHAHAHAHA!! I think niglets is great!! Whitebrite should be allowed to say niglets and not get flamed if this blog is allowed to say crap about white people…freedom and all that


  274. Hey!! Quit using my name. i did not give you permission to use my name. Niglet is mine and I love it. Niglet is the best name ever in the world. Niglet is tops baby!! NigletNigletNiglet


  275. Ok, this coffee thing I understand… but what about pie?


  276. Interesting satirical attempt at reverse stereotyping.

    I don’t like coffee.

    Or a lot of things on this list.


  277. Niglets are sooooooo cute!!! I would want one if they never grew up and became rapists. Did anyone see what happened to the Auburn freshman? the UNC student body president?


  278. on March 9, 2008 at 8:58 am Portnoy who complains

    The best coffee brands are “Illy” and then “Lavazza”, and pretty much everything after that is unnoteworthy, esp. starbucks which burns their beans.


  279. this is HILARIOUS! i haven’t nearly read the whole list, but i did link to it from my blog.

    my question is- should this be called “stuff white people with disposable income like”? or maybe “stuff rich white people like”?

    maybe i’m just avoiding the truth by subdividing the genre. ha.


  280. What about cutting down on coffee? That’s a pretty solid whites-only niche, more so than coffee itself I’m pretty sure. It usually leads right to tea, though, another white market.


  281. I’m white and I love coffee, almost as much as I love my 4X4 Dodge, my deer heads on the wall, and going to the opera on occasion. And I’m a girl. The only thing I love more than all the above is my gorgeous red-headed, blue-eyed Viking son who will grow up to be white MAN just like his daddy-my husband. My son is only six and he already likes coffee and can load and shoot his very own Crickett .22-and does so accurately.

    But more importantly, he loves for me to read to him and is learning to read for himself, to play computer games, and to explore this world. White people love more than anything-even coffee- to be good parents.


  282. P.S. Amend that post to “…white people like me…” There are plenty of famous white movie people who suck at parenting and plenty more anonymous ones who suck at parenting as well. For starters, having children out of wedlock is not the best scenario for the child involved. Imagine what that child thinks-” My parents didn’t even love each other enough to try and be married. I’m not a product of love, I’m a product of horny lust. ”

    But I digress…


  283. ive been around some white people, and i am simply amazed by their ability to consume coffee at any time of the day or night. you forgot to mention white people make getting coffee a social excursion, who else but white people will say “hey lets go get some coffee.” white people also like to go to coffee shops to pick up on other white people who drink coffee. obviously drinking coffee in a coffee shop while simultaneously engaging in intellectual activities such as reading or using a laptop signifies a certain level of intelligence attractive to other white people.


  284. Don’t you people see stuffwhitepeoplelike.com is a false idol?!!?! Second Cup? ‘Halifax’s Ellen Paige?’ who writes like that?


  285. on March 9, 2008 at 9:38 pm Portnoy's complaint

    A big night out for a Muslim is drinking tea on a sidewalk. Ever been to a Muslim city? They seriously suck.


  286. Here’s something else that white people like – jewellery that make a statement about who they are — http://www.jacquelinepottercollection.com


  287. This list seems more like its all stuff that other races don’t like…and to me that is racist!

    http://www.garbarrassing.com
    for funny stuff that everyone likes…


  288. why drink coffee when you can smoke crack? oh, wait, that’s not very white now is it?


  289. on March 10, 2008 at 2:30 pm IrishPeach88

    why drink coffee when you can smoke crack? oh wait, that’s not very white now is it? oh well, as long as i can stay awake to finish watching the Full House marathon!


  290. Ding dang. I had no idea that I was a racial stereotype. I didn’t see oatmeal on the list, though. Me and my pasty homies love us some oatmeal.


  291. on March 10, 2008 at 7:09 pm White Person

    What is the difference between a messageboard and a blog?
    With a msg brd people get to start their own topics but with a blog it is ruled by one person that controls all topics of conversation. Blogs are so white person-ish.

    *goes to make an organic coffee while listening to indie music and planning my move to canada*.

    P.s. great website.


  292. a relatively amazing trait that westerners have.

    historically speaking that is:

    raid,

    mould,

    then enjoy.

    same thing with the british and tea…
    more people in the western hemisphere associate the first
    instantaneous perception of “tea” with the british
    than the eastern hemisphere – the historical ignorance of it all
    yet somewhat amusing.

    cause really… tea’s the historically “east” thing?
    blah – with the blend of a world we’re in now,
    gotta know what white ppl like to survive >.< nice listing.


  293. on March 11, 2008 at 3:47 am Lazy Gardens

    I’m white. I was drinking coffee when I was THREE!!!! What were my parents thinking!


  294. White people like witty blogs and the witty bloggers who blog. Clever bloggers are so cool. Like this one, for example. He is so cool. He is above-it-all. He is insouciant. He is aloof. His eyebrows become supercilious statements ten times a day. He is post-grad-school, pomo, stoner-clever as all get out. He probably can text funny quips faster than anyone. I’ll bet he has a rad facebook page. It’s hard to not like a guy like that. Some people have it all, I guess.

    I fucking love him. And: yes. I am a white person.


  295. [...] a blog that understands me. I do like shorts and t-shirts (especially Threadless)and coffee and expensive sandwiches. And all the other [...]


  296. the need for coffee, for whites, implies the need to be productive, or better, to support their “productivity/overachieving.” it isn’t a taste thing
    or a question of being a conaisseur, which answers the question why a company like starbucks could thrive.


  297. #300:
    he even predicted a post like yours and went ahead and
    started blogging anyway. he is god-like in my book. while
    most would have been too scared, he went ahead and did it anyway, and got this dialogue-party started.


  298. on March 11, 2008 at 8:53 pm latina in the house

    lol this site is great….. i mean a lot of things are a bit far fetched…. but none the less they’re funny!!


  299. The author of this site must live around a bunch of stoned fuckin’ hippie liberals.

    You have my sympathy.

    ~ Sisyphus,

    http://www.tsfiles.wordpress.com <— shameless self-promotion


  300. I worked for Starbucks for five years. Even though I’ve been drinking coffee since I was about 12, I had not set foot into a Starbucks until I went in for my interview. Getting an endless supply of free coffee was pretty sweet, though.

    I do have a word to the wise – do not piss off your barista. I can tell you horror stories.


  301. Is Starbucks’ considered coffee? Really?? That brownish effie???
    Oh, dear.


  302. I think a lot of people are missing the point that it’s not just coffee that white people love. It’s the coffee ordering process and all the specialty coffees that are available as well.

    Someone made the comment that most Brazilians drink coffee, but in Brazil, they generally drink it in only a few different variations. Someone else made the point that Duncan Donuts is more expensive than Starbucks…but the catch is that DD does not offer the variety with all the fancy (translated: foreign) words/names.

    White people friggin love coffee, man! LOL. Most of my co-workers (white people) cannot function until they have coffee. As a matter of fact, most of them brew a pot before leaving the house, pick up a cup from a coffeehouse while on the way in to work, then have a cup of the office crap before finally settling in to do any work.


  303. P.S. White people also love talking about cutting down on coffee and quitting cigarettes and going on diets. White people love talking.


  304. [...] have been a bit forced. Posts such as the ones depicting white people’s insatiable desire for overpriced coffee, petite Asian women, and relating to “the Wire” are universally applicable. However, certain [...]


  305. I’m cuban and so I’ve been drinking after-dinner coffee since I was about 8, as is true with many Latin-American cultures. I’ve always loved the flavor b/c we sweeten it quite a bit if having it black, or make it literally half-milk if having cafe con leche – so it isn’t an acquired taste.


  306. HAHAHAHAHA! I love the site, I just ran across it and naturally I had to skip right down to see what the #1 item was.

    And as a matter of fact, I’m going to get some coffee now. And here is another white item for you.

    “I.O.U”s

    I’m out of change so I will be sure to put my IOU in for $.75 and will be sure to pay it the first chance I get!

    LOVE IT YA’LL! I will be linking this to my myspace page!

    CHRIST BLESS!
    PZ


  307. I am as WASP as it gets yet I hate coffee, all forms and flavors of coffee. I hate coffee ice cream, coffee jelly bellies, coffee anything. While I semi-enjoy the smell of fresh coffee I loath and shudder to drink it. I’d much rather down 20 ounces of ice cold Mountain Dew at 9 AM then go through the OCD routine of the perfect cup of Joe.

    I find it odd that people fill up the coffee full of cream, sugar, milk, chocolate, crack, heroin, or even the worst… coffee flavorings… just to make it ‘theirs’. People are Starbucks lemmings.

    If Jim Jones had run out of Kool-aid he’d have used tall skinny mocha fraps instead.

    ~ out


  308. Can we get Fluffanutter, Nutella and Mayonaise on this list?

    I’m really shocked at their absense.

    Ed


  309. on March 12, 2008 at 3:37 pm Portnoy's complaint

    #306 “I do have a word to the wise – do not piss off your barista. I can tell you horror stories.”

    Let’s hear’em!!!


  310. I hate it when the white folks in front of me ordering what used to be “coffee” say they want “the drip.” It makes me want to remind them that “the drip” is Gonorrhea.


  311. The first thing I do when I get up is get into my electric wheelchair, roll into the kitchen and make coffee. Then turn on the Today Show. A few minutes later I’m drinking a cup of Ganocafe which is a healthy coffee.


  312. Hey, to those white people who take offense to his blog – get over it. Growing up Chinese-Canadian I’ve spent the better part of my life explaining the peculiarities of my native culture to people…..and often defending what is difficult to understand to people of “mainstream culture”. and thanks to enlightened comedians like Russell Peters and Dave Chappelle, can’t we just get over ourselves and just laugh at the oddities in our cultures? What’s wrong with non-whites making some humorous observations about white culture? Haven’t whites been making observations about non-white culture that they don’t understand for YEARS? Better yet, for centuries? This isn’t about coffee, or blogs…..it’s just about observing cultural differences in a humorous light…personally, I can’t WAIT to LMAO when the blog for “Stuff Asians Like” is up!


  313. Yay!!!!! to Marcus, #155. North Americans (and I’m one of them – albeit of Chinese descent) – get the hell out of NOrth America and you’ll see how nothing here applies…..but still, this site is still funny as all (*(#@$#@$ !!!


  314. That’s white folks for you…


  315. on March 13, 2008 at 1:02 pm Stephanie C.

    I used to be a coffee whore but I gave it up a couple weeks ago and turned to green tea. This makes me a double victim. HA.


  316. You should add “Dave Mathews Band”. Every white person over 30 loves DMB, and all the preps in high school. White people also love saying things like “you only get one life, live everyday like it’s your last..” when these people live their life no different than anyone else does…

    they drink tea and read Nietszche while listening to Godspeed! You Black Emperor, and then they go watch Bridge on the River Kwai or Braveheart (for the 7th time)


  317. They also love watching the news – the 5 o’clock one and the 10 o’clock one. And they watch Entertainment Tonight and things like that. and they watch movies with Morgan Freeman in it. (which shouldn’t be hard considering he’s in every damn movie). they are obsessed with knowing what the weather is going to be. and talk about it. they buy SUV’s — the men making sure it has 4 wheel drive. the men also get pissed when you leave the lights on, or leave the TV on. they get mad when you leave the door unlocked. they get mad if you leave glasses on tables. They get sweaters for their dogs. their favorite food is almost always “chinese”. every friday (or some other designated day) they always eat out. they take pride in their lawn. they do everything Hank Hill does. And they watch king of the hill. they take their cameras to any special occasion — xmas party, a trip, graduation…and after they take the pictures they stuff them in some closet somewhere and never really look at them until maybe a few years later.


  318. white people LOVE guitar solos


  319. on March 14, 2008 at 4:35 am Willis Manley

    Man this aint completly true, hell i’m a late-teen white and i got a lot of white friends and NONE of us drink coffee


  320. Everything about this site is hilarious… heard about it on Drew and Mike this morning (Detroit). congrats on the success and keep it coming! oh, and i am enjoying my cup of coffee right this second…


  321. I just received this web address the other day and have either read every entry from #87-#1, or skimmed through them….not all the blogs, just the original entry.
    Anonymous blog #14, (on coffee), and reiterated by #37 & #38, above, is the best!!!!
    Yes, I am white, and a lot of the 87 accusations are so true. Recyling, buying from the ‘little’ guy, eating organic, not shopping at Wal-Mart, fairness & equality, and liking Jon Stewart……thank you for the compliments, even if they are funny. Keep it up!


  322. willis manley are you stupid or just retarded?


  323. [...] films. Some come on the site to test there “whiteness”- with Rudi who commented on the first post in Stuff White People Like, [...]


  324. OK, I just read through the list and it was painfully right-on, especially The Wire, the Sunday Times… and I actually own that exact water bottle. Ouch.

    But anyway, what about BABIES? White people love babies, plus all the corresponding accessories.


  325. Coffee Gross…. Smoothie king good YOU shoulda made that number one for white people.


  326. How funny…I’m addicted to Starbucks! And it is gross…weird how that happens!


  327. yeah, fair trade coffee sucks. It gives me one more decision to make before I’ve had my coffee.


  328. I’m white as Steven Harper’s milky thighs, and I’m loving it. White people love to stockpile things like batteries and elastics. We like cabbage rolls, kung-fu, rugby shirts with horizontal lines, jean jackets, and jokes about domestic violence.

    Be patient with us, we have spent that last several hundred years colonizing and performing genocide all over the world. It’s not as easy as it looks, we’ve stretched ourselves a little thin here. We’ll be of positive historical contribution once again when China buys North America…. then bring on the asian ladies!!!! ha ha ha


  329. Don’t care what colour of skin you are in.
    Rum is the answer to the question of coffee.


  330. White people like coffee. Hispanic people like coffee. But Ethiopian, Somalian, Eritrian and all kinds of middle eastern people LOVE coffee. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I used to work at a coffee bar, and they were like drunks at a regular bar, lining up at the door before we opened and having to be kicked out at the end of the day. We even had bona fide coffee bar fights. It was nuts! Those guys were amped! Tipped ALSOME, though.


  331. Just sittin’ here on a Saturday morning, reading blogs, eating oatmeal and drinking coffee, looking for the kids’ soccer schedules, getting ready to go to Panera (the food’s much better there but cappucinos only come in one size).

    PC whites don’t want to admit that the REAL reason they don’t go to Walmart is that all the Hispanics are there. They shop at Target and mockingly call it Tar-zhay’s.


  332. Coffee is the shizzle of the manizzle Yo!


  333. Just letting you know that in Canada, Fair Trade coffee (like local http://www.justuscoffee.com/) is, on average, $0.50 to $1.00 cheaper than Starbucks or any other multinational.
    Which does make a difference.


  334. well to be fair, it’s pretty much the one drug you can do at work… AND NOT GET FIRED FOR!! isn’t that amazing? I think so…which is why I drink coffee excessively!!!! can you tell???!!!


  335. on March 15, 2008 at 2:37 pm teaspoontimes

    THANK YOU for calling white people out on saying obnoxious things like “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.”

    How about referring to it as “leaded” or “unleaded?”


  336. As an owner of a small independent coffee shop in Michigan I know this is a fact. To add to the growing trend, it is even cooler to get your coffee at any independent shop opposed to the big chains. Damn the Man! :)


  337. Just as a side note for people that pick on this blog, the posts from other people (where they come from, how a white person corrects someone, or adds some random fact about the topic) and it is labelled as another “white thing”… then someone that isn’t white posts pretty much the same thing and they are left alone…

    http://xkcd.com/385/

    Though this is sexist and NOT racist, it still applies ;)


  338. Coffee is better at the local store. It is better grown at high altitudes. It is best when from Hawaii. Mahala!


  339. 25/w/m. This site must be a northern thing b/c none of these blogs make sense. I’m not a fan of any of these, except for me thinking asian’s are hot.


  340. [...] the sense of humor that allows laughing at stereotypes, even when they’re poking fun at you. See #1 – Coffee for one reason this site cracks me [...]


  341. White people like a lot of stuff.


  342. I may be white on the outside, but I’m coffee on the inside …. does that count ..??!!!


  343. We ​ are​ her​e to mak​e cof​fee​ met​al.​ We wil​l mak​e eve​ryt​hin​g met​al.​ Bla​cke​r tha​n the​ bla​cke​st bla​ck,​ tim​es inf​ini​ty


  344. on March 17, 2008 at 6:57 pm hiphophoneys

    Funny Blog. I’m going to digg it


  345. you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.


  346. OMG, totally true. All white folks in my office gather around the coffee machine every morning proclaiming “Goodness i need this right now, otherwise i can’t lift a finger” Whatever happened to just getting enough sleep, lol.


  347. I love coffee, but I’m not willing to call it anything but coffee.

    Check it:

    http;//bb4h.blogspot.com


  348. The replys people leave are almost as funny as the actul blog…..lighten up people…its suppost to be funny!

    I am sure guilty of this one… i heart coffe;)!!


  349. i am shocked that number one isn’t bagels… i work at a coffee shop and every morning we stuff around 100 plus bagels into art students mouths… and if they are not eating bagels they are ordering croissants in french accents… this site rules….


  350. just got back from ethiopia – on a coffee sourcing trip – and i discovered that ethiopians might even like coffee more than white folks…


  351. What is FAIR TRADE coffee? I feel so inferior!


  352. on March 19, 2008 at 6:46 am Really White

    If you want to be really, really white, only drink coffee made in a Clover machine. It’s amazing and really maximizes those quality fair trade beans. Totally worth the extra $5 / cup… This machine, found at only the finest coffee shops makes the best beans in the world into the best coffee in the world.


    http://cloverequipment.com/home/Default.aspx


  353. The person who said ordering coffee is more hip than drinking it is definitely true. See how they light up when they get to tell a friend to get their order, and how many points they rack up when the drink is IMPOSSIBLE to remember.

    Then they get to go back and correct it =)

    But don’t forget, since you’re on your multicultural kick, that having a multicultural coffee is even more important. If you can serve imported Ethiopian coffee at your dinner party, or organic Vietnamese, your way cooler than your Starbucks friends.


  354. motorola razr should take the #1 spot.


  355. oh yea, “pickup trucks” should be on the list too


  356. Coffee is the number 1 export for the majority of South America, Africa, and Asia. So if it weren’t for white people minorities would be poor


  357. NASCAR are you kidding me?? coffee is white but seriously?


  358. on March 20, 2008 at 6:51 am HolyStereotypesBatman

    I can’t argue with this. I am white and like coffee. The truth is out.


  359. I love coffee and I’m a big white guy….I need it to sleep!!!!
    I learned about coffee from my father who is a white republican!!!!!
    very white….I grind my own beans every day…yeah!!!dudeeeeee


  360. On Saturday and Sundays I walk my dog and Asian girlfriend past the Starbucks two blocks from my house, about a mile away to the more obscure but still a chain Pete’s. I do this first because they make a much stronger Soy Latte and their raspberry scone is the most delicious food in the history of earth, but also because Pete’s is a little more obscure and the walk is good for us. A nice place to go through the Sunday ads too.

    You have to get the Nespresso Aeroccino frother. It makes the BEST foam ever, is completely silent, easy to clean, it looks very chic. It is a little pricey, but it is from Switzerland, so it is so worth it.


  361. White people (urban palor) may like coffee, but pink people (we sunburned Scots) prefer tea; smokey lapsang souchong and bold Assam blended or separate are way cool. Mountains cannot be climbed on coffee; your may think o’ latte ‘n froth but up there ya’ do ya’ work on tea.


  362. I just drink regular coffee. No stops at any coffee shops (only idiots pay that much for coffee) and I just call it coffee. This list is a big fail so far.


  363. Coffee can kiss my ass.


  364. Judging from the list, a more appropriate name for this site would be “Stuff urban White people like”.


  365. on March 20, 2008 at 8:55 am twobarkingdogs

    How white is this?

    You too can roast your own coffee at home by converting a West Bend Poppery II (Hot Air Popcorn Popper). Google “popcorn popper coffee roaster” for your own instructions!

    I ask why? And where do you buy green coffee so you can roast your own anyway? And, it will never taste as good as the cup of joe at Dunkins.

    http://www.twobarkingdogs.wordpress.com


  366. WTF THE NUMBER 1 THING WE LIKE IS….COFFEE LOLLOLOL


  367. I LOOOOOOVE coffee and I am half white- but I can’t drink it in the morning because it makes my stomach hurt :(

    I also happen to LOVE Starbucks (tall redyeye)….its not b/c its expensive its just the best readily available coffee. Try going into a diner or bodega or even Dunkin Donuts….its like piss water.

    Other than that this site is hilarious. I know so many white people like this. I think it should actually be called Stuff Liberal White People Like though…or Stuff Rich White Liberals Like.


  368. Samuel Elliot Morrison, one of the greatest military historians, wrote that the first thing the Navy did in WWII was to secure shipping lanes from Central America to the US Gulf Coast and US East Coast.

    He asked admirals, “Why this strategy?”, as opposed to securing the North Atlantic first.

    The reply was, “… to secure coffee. It was not known if the Navy could win a war without coffee, it had never been tried.”


  369. ORGANIC fair trade is even better.


  370. on March 20, 2008 at 12:24 pm Paid to Be Quiet

    Does drinking 2/3 decaf so I can drink 3 times as much make me white orjust brilliant?


  371. To # 16 Rudi. Do you know what is decidedly not white? taking all the fun out of saying what things are and are not white. Thanks :(. Now i have to go figure out if I’m doing enough white things. I do like coffee so I guess thats one.


  372. What this list doesn’t have on it is white people love to order cool sounding alcoholic drinks. Come on, the martini is huge, and Kirkland should know since they are the number 1 city with DUI’s in Wa. St.


  373. Racist – against whites


  374. 381 Andrea
    Stupid-you.


  375. this is the only place that i can feel ok laughing about race… brilliant


  376. what about our war machines????? whites are the only ones enjoying smart bombs and stealth fighters!!!!!!!!!!!

    and quantum physics… now that is about as white as it gets..


  377. I’m sitting here having just found this site & enjoying the hell out of it. O & I’m also drinking a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee I made myself from an $8 bag I bought & watching March Madness.

    Love that coffee!!!!!!!


  378. Won’t find any brothers in Starbucks paying that kind of money.


  379. I have 4 cups a day, all from Trader Joes, whole bean. I try to deep the caf at one cup, sometimes 2 cups. This is my only drug. I also have 3 cups of green tea. 1or 2 are caf.


  380. Wooowww….. I wish I could comment on the whole thing. On about 3/4 of this I have to say “guilty as charged.”


  381. on March 20, 2008 at 7:00 pm Question Mark

    Pros: Great site; great list!
    Cons: It should read what LIBERAL white people like.

    I (non-liberal white guy) get bored and irritated with 90% of the stuff on this list, which is what Liberal/Progressive white people like.

    My (white non-liberal) friends do, too.

    I can’t tell you how quickly I change the subject when yet another liberal neighbor feels free to talk solemnly about diversity, the environment, gay people, alternative religions, etc.

    We’re not all that dull and predictable; just the progressives.


  382. Oh my God this site is friggin hilarious. The one on assists really cracked me up. Good work.

    BTW, I’m white and LOVE coffee!!


  383. Do what now?


  384. on March 20, 2008 at 8:05 pm SwissturnGuy

    Tripple Venti, 9 Pump Vanilla, Skiny & Wet… Kthx…


  385. Whitey here. What a waste of energy. Your’e talking about tv show ‘Friends”, or ‘Seinfeld’. If you actually knew any ‘real’ white people you couldn’t stereotype them cause they’re all different, but to you they all look the same. Sad really..


  386. Oh, you betcha. I’m as pasty-white as it comes, and I started drinking the bean when I was 12. Love that stuff. Nectar. The one thing that makes me want to get out of bed every day. Coffee. Thank you, tropics. A nice dark roast, a bit of half-and-half, and the problems of the world seem a little less terrible. I am so white.


  387. Your Honor;I plead guilty on every count. (I do admit to drinking all my coffee, strong & black) I’ve got a cup in my hand every morning. I even took a coffee pot to Yellowstone National Park for emergency use. (A white thing) I’m one of those who get a killer headache if I don’t get my morning fix.
    As a kid I grew up on the thick chiccory coffee’s in Baton Rouge. Misery loves company, so I got my wife hooked. She was already half way there. She liked the smell of coffee in the morning. I loved the smell of Napalm in the morning… (bad joke) That says I’m older than most of you.


  388. As a card-carrying ‘white man’ I’m almost never caught without a cup of coffee in my hand. This was pointed out in the extreme at 4pm one day as I arrived at a middle school to stand-by for soccer practice as an EMT in an ambulance. I pulled up to the athletic director, (another white man) who saw that I had a fresh cup of coffee in my hand. He pointed out that he had never seen me arrive without a fresh cup of coffee and asked if that was part of being an EMT. I raised my cup in a ‘salute’ and said ‘Sure is!’ Now, thanks to the information on this site, I know it’s also part of being a White Man!


  389. on March 21, 2008 at 7:04 am A real White Guy

    This is sooooo true


  390. on March 21, 2008 at 7:13 am whitewomanwithdreads

    What’s wrong with me? I don’t like Starbucks and never bought fair trade coffee. But I do love the mean cup of Cafe con leche my husband makes me in the morning.


  391. I know Flyclothing.com would not run without coffee, but its only half white (1/2 black, 1/4 green, 1/4 red…see, cant even figure fractions without coffee). LOL.


  392. on March 21, 2008 at 7:49 am vanilla coffee

    there is a subspecies of white people who take pride in preferring low end coffee from places like Dunkin’ Donuts to Starbucks.


  393. Yeah, us whiteys like the coffee, but I don’t think it’s a phenomenon associated with whiteness.

    Black, white, red, yellow, somewhere in between, it doesn’t matter….we’re all still lining up at Tim Horton’s eager to Roll up the Rim.

    One thing I do notice though, the coffee North American white people drink is considered repulsive by other cultures.


  394. Starbucks, Fair Trade, and all those other coffees suck.
    America runs on Dunkin’, baby.

    “StuffWhitePeopleLike” should be renamed to “StuffYuppiesLike.”


  395. did white people invent computers and internet?

    good thing, if so or if not.

    coffee with cream is post-racial.


  396. the coffee freaks will understand…I prepare my espresso on my espresso machine – I even buy the pods at Starbucks – my guilty pleasure is sniffing the package the pod comes in to get that lovely coffee bouquet…ahhh…nothing like it.


  397. Im white and i love coofee! Most ppl drink it for the caffeine, i drink it for the taste. the bitterness is yummmmmy. This site is so true- “parents making u feel bad about not going outside” truest thing ever


  398. I’m not white, but I must say, coffee is awesome. I must say however, I HATE Starbucks. There coffee is awefully. Normally I prefer Blue Mountain, but it in the interest of time, I will fuel up at 7-11.


  399. The whitest Dane, Per V. made a tribute to (black) coffee a couple of years ago.

    It’s called Black Power and is on YouTube here:

    It’s in Danish so it wont make much sense to most of you but it is a bit funny with lines like:

    “Latte and au lait is not groovy – But I take the black one a move me”

    “It has to be black – cream and sugar is sel out”

    “I’m a white guy trapped in a white mans body, but i got a black soul so pour it up”


  400. I love Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf!


  401. On the rare occasion when I do go to $tarbucks, it’s fun to order “a large coffee”. The snooty people behind the counter always get this condescending look on their face and say something like, “we don’t just sell COFFEE and we don’t have small, medium or large”.


  402. wow …. owsome ..
    its realy owsome blog i lik :)

    I’m indonesian.. i like coffee so much too, i cant do anything in the morning before i got a cup of coffee …

    sometimes i hate to be like that, but sometimes i realy² enjoyed my self …. LOL


  403. on March 23, 2008 at 5:19 am Indian techie

    [referring to the full list]

    oh my Lord! I have been ‘acting white’ and didn’t know it! This blog is a revealation! I have only been living among ‘white people’ for 6-odd years and I am already into.. #’s 1,6,8,9,13,19,26,34,35,36,40,44,48,60,63,81 and I am so keen on getting into..3,5,12,20,24,27,29,42,51,87,89. Oh God I hope my wife never finds this site!!!

    (This blog wouldnt be funny if it weren’t true. And some peoples comments here sound like if Sean Hannity were to comment on the Daily Show jokes ….. nitpicking an insightful observation to death.)


  404. Guilty. Love my coffee (three cups a day), excellent for health and robustness.

    Helps you live longer too (something else white people dig !)


  405. White people love to laugh at “white people jokes”.
    They also love to…

    Refer to ghettos as “blighted communities”
    “urban areas”
    “inner cities”
    “the Barrio”
    “underprivileged neighborhoods”
    “subsidized housing”
    “the projects”
    “sub-standard housing”
    ‘the other side of the tracks”
    ‘the hood”
    “ethnic minority enclaves”
    “Places where white people used to live”


  406. on March 23, 2008 at 1:40 pm Muffie and Miles in Hobe Sound

    We used to drink, actualy eat, Turkish coffee because my boyfriend’s favorite film is Midnight Express then we had the Asadorian guy up and he read the grounds and said we should be drinking only mineral water. We bought the carpet anyway.


  407. Coffee is coffee. I love it regardless of where it’s from.


  408. on March 24, 2008 at 8:11 am Not a Coffiend

    I’m convinced white people drink coffee to maintain some connection to their black idols. Unless they take it with a lot of milk. Then they’re just fooling themselves.


  409. Do you folks realize that when a white person posts something on this site that RIPS whites, they look like dumbasses for trying to be TOO politically correct- it kinda proves the point of this site! Also, bashing on whitey is as cliche as whitey being trendy.


  410. You don’t have to go through the ‘cigarette’ phase of drinking bitter coffee until you like it if you grew up during the Starbucks boom. Their lattes are so much like desert that you can bypass that phase & then when you are older and have grown accustomed to the ‘coffee’ part of the ‘latte’, you can switch to straight coffee easily.

    I always liked regular coffee though. I started drinking it when I was 14 and drank so much I had to quit cold turkey when I was 20 because I felt too addicted to stand it. But now I’m back to a cup a day (at least not 3-4 like before)… but coffee is really tasty.

    Anyhoo, if you have stomach problems as a result of coffee I’ve realized Folgers flavored coffees are a killer & Dunkin Donuts is pretty smooth on the stomach. Also, the bolder the coffee, the longer it’s been roasted, the less acid in the cup individually (so a barista told me, and I’m not sure how right she was but it seems to be true from experience)


  411. I’m white, and you’ve made me realize that pretty much ALL the things that I’ve felt adequate about over the years (don’t snowboard or do yoga, don’t drink wine or coffee, don’t go to plays, don’t enjoy 80s nights (SO TRUE), don’t own a bike, don’t listen to public radio, etc.) are really just white things and I don’t fit the mold! Wow… I should have a talk with my dead mother. I mean, I must be black or brown or toffee or tan or green or blue or anything but WHITE.

    Or did I hear this somewhere else?


  412. One of the reason why white women have such high infertility and low libido rates is because they drink too much coffee. If you ever plan on having kids and good sex, stay the hell away from coffee.


  413. HAHAHAH!!!! I LOVE this site!!!!! :o)


  414. on March 24, 2008 at 11:05 am Barry McCockiner

    im glad im white. i was going to make a stuffblackpeoplelike.com but then i realized it would only consist of two entries, which would be

    1) anything that is not work and 2) anything that does not involve swimming.


  415. Navin is obviously a white man….they blame anything and everything but their own lack of sexual prowess for their girls’ not having interest in sex. Love my coffee…drink it all day….love my man all night!


  416. Another example of whiteness is the irksome refusal to use the personal pronoun “he or she.” For example, the author of the coffee article writes:

    But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes.

    Notice how the author moves from a single individual in the first sentence (ie, the first person at my school), to a plural pronoun in the second (ie, “they”). The author refuses to fall into the sexist trap of saying “he”, even when the context demands a singular pronoun. This is classic example of whiteness in prose.


  417. Some of you “coffee lovers” confuse me….you say you love your coffee and then you think “3 cups a day” makes you a true coffee lover. You act like 3 cups a day is a whole lot!!! Oh my goodness….I have 3 or 4 cups of coffee before I leave the house every day, 4 or 5 while working all day, then 1 or 2 more after I get home! Come on…let’s hear from the Real coffee drinkers! And I don’t mean the cappacino and latte sect….I’m talking about the real coffee drinkers! lol


  418. im white as i can be but alot of this does not describe me at all but i do like coffee


  419. on March 24, 2008 at 12:17 pm white guy who doesn't like coffee

    yea. i dont like coffee, nor do i need it in the morning


  420. on March 24, 2008 at 1:31 pm SmokinJavaJoe

    You obviously have never tried either for more than a puff or a sip. Cigarettes get you REALLY high when you first try them so you keep going until you realize you’ll never get that buzz again, and you’re already hooked. Coffee actually tastes good when you dump crap in it like Starbuck’s, then after you get used to that the black stuff tastes good too.


  421. Coffee=Sweet Nectar of Life! I seriously don’t know how some people function without it.


  422. on March 24, 2008 at 4:25 pm coffee-hater

    easily. If it’s not water…fuck it!


  423. White people also like heavy set dancers that are light on their feet. Example: Kate Smith.


  424. As a white male of a very dominant race I must confess, I must pronounce…

    YAHHH!!!


  425. Dude, coffee-hater….chill.


  426. Hi! really interesting page, as an Argentine i could tell you, that here, with a really small population of african-descendants, white people drinks a lot of coffee. But also drink Mate: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_%28beverage%29.
    Regards!


  427. Hmmm, my wife and I might only be marginally white. We hate Starbucks (and their big corporate ilk), but don’t frequent the corner coffee shops much either. We’re not into the foo-foo grande-extra-mocho-frappochinos, but we do order 100% free-trade organic swiss-water-process decaf, from a progressive alternate coffee supplier, state-side.

    And we eschew crass American lingo like “cup o’ joe”… we call our morning brew a “cup of Juan M’beki Castro”.


  428. on March 25, 2008 at 6:37 am White Wanker Number 1

    Posting anything on a forum is probably the whitest thing one can do.

    I’m am British so I generally drink tea and not coffee….it does have to be white though (with milk).

    Does this count?


  429. on March 25, 2008 at 6:45 am White Wanker Number 1

    What do you suggest white people do then??

    Get all fired up about it instead??

    What’s the matter with taking the piss out of yourself?


  430. Not only do I love coffee, and especially fair trade coffee, but I have a complusive white need to buy the green beans now and roast them myself at home. In addition, I frequently use my iPhone to check out the origination and flavor qualities of my favorite coffee beans!!!!!


  431. on March 25, 2008 at 9:41 am coffee-hater

    thanks mom…I really needed that one word of wisdom.


  432. Coffeewoman:

    I’m with you on drinking lots of coffee.
    I start the day with a pot. I have a couple of cups when I get to work. I finish the day with another pot. I feel ‘wired-up’ in the morning, but I can go to sleep at night while drinking a cup.
    (I drink coffee like a wino drinks wine. I Live to drink and drink to live.
    It’s also pretty good in chili’s & stews. I make a mean BBQ sause with coffee to cut KC’s and a bunch of spices.
    I love Maxwell House Special Blend. (A very white thing)


  433. To be precise its origin is Ethiopia and plant origin does not mean invention it was dissiminated by the arab and persian empires through europe and later brought to america and it is in latin and north america a comon drink


  434. Hello readers!

    I’d like to make one small correction to the above statement…

    No, you do not pay $2 extra and that makes a difference. Fair trade coffee is often equally/competetively priced to your usual Starbucks variety. As a matter of fact, don’t take my word for it. Next time you visit Starbucks, ask for the Cafe Estima blend (fair trade) and see if the price makes a difference to you. Its the allocation of monies paid along the supply chain long before you purchase it from your local coffee shop that makes the difference.

    Fair Trade means:
    * Fair Price
    * Fair Labor Conditions
    * Direct Trade
    * Democratic & Transparent Organizations
    * Community Development
    * Environmental Sustainability

    And… yes, Fair Trade does make a difference. It’s not the cure all for poverty and it never claimed to be but it is an effort. If any of you have a better idea, please step forward!

    “To give a man a fish” = chairty.
    “To teach a man to fish” = fair trade.


  435. I think Americans in general like Coffee… I don’t think this is a “white people” thing.


  436. on March 25, 2008 at 1:05 pm A black brother

    Hmmmm somehow this website is not racist. Its ok to make fun of one race as long as its white right? Imagine if someone created stuffasianpeoplelike or stuffblackpeoplelike. It would be down within minutes because we would all consider that racist.


  437. I think we totally need “Stuff Asian People Like” and “Stuff Black People Like” sites. Preferrably done by white people.


  438. For once, I actually agree with this silly blog. Coffee has indeed been elevated to a freakin’ cult drink, and indeed, only dumb white people would pay what they do at Starbucks. I, for once, wouldn’t care if all coffee disappeared from the Earth overnight.


  439. on March 25, 2008 at 1:16 pm you don't need to know that

    I’m pretty sure a white person writes this blog. Unless it was an Asian or Black person that wrote it, and it bashed white people for enjoying these things, it isn’t racist. This site won’t even flirt with racism unless it starts poking fun at other ethnic groups. You obviously don’t get on the internet much since you think sites can be “taken down” within minutes of their launch just because of their name. The chances are, “stuffblackpeoplelike” already exists in a completely different form. Lighten up, dude (which is something else white people like: calling other men “dude”).


  440. Waahhhhh. Racist. Blah. Blah. Blah.


  441. Hmmm… one pot before I head out the door. A stop at Starbucks along the way. Then I get to work and see my note pad that says “My Blood Type Is Coffee.” God, white people are great. This is the best site ever. I love blogs :)


  442. That would be, “bwaaaaaaaa!” Get your terminology right.


  443. Actually, it should be ok to make fun of black people, too. At some point people forgot that there’s a difference between picking on a person and making fun of people.


  444. Not true. To be fair, the thing white people like most is to pointedly correct somebody who uses the pronoun “he” that it could also be “she.” Second best is making a point of this in your own statements, but nothing compares to catching somebody else improperly properly using the generic ‘he’ as a gender neutral pronoun.


  445. I love this site. I have laughed out loud several times. I kept waiting for “scrapbooking” to appear in this list…
    Thanks to the folks at “The Week” for steering me to this site.


  446. Feel free to check out http://stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com/
    It’s just as satirical and oh so embarassingly true. And we all know that we can never really call it racist if it’s true


  447. on March 26, 2008 at 5:06 am Whitey McWhite-White

    A black brother? Is there any other kind of brother?


  448. it’s not so much the coffee culture, as the cultural appropriation of the “coffee bar” concept in North America, and the fact that now we encounter f*cked up beverages like super pumpkin flavored double chai latte with soy milk, and furthermore, we buy it TO GO. In my town, the Starbucks is frequented equally by locals of Somali descent, but they drink…brewed, drip coffee. Or the occasional espresso. Like the rest of the world.


  449. “Coffee” is not a good choice for this site. Maybe “Lattes” is better?


  450. I think you miss the point. This is supposed to be stuff unique to white people. Are you suggesting that other races/ethnicities don’t care for jewelry. What color is the sun in your universe?


  451. Coffee good! Strong like OXE!


  452. That’s just ignorant. Racist?

    Are we still laboring under that false ideal that color blindness is color equality, or is it possible to have an honest (even humorous) dialogue about the pronounced caricatures (i.e. stereotypes) of various cultures, religions and even races provided such is done without hate or superiority? If the answer is the former, then I suggest the person above watch the stand-up of a great thinker named Mr. Richard Pryor, and catch up to, say, the 1970s.


  453. Then please explain to me how only black comedians get way with making fun of white people? Why can’t a white comedian get way with making fun of black people? “Reverse” racism is not only common, but acceptable. I don’t think it should be, but it is.


  454. White people like fighting racism by fighting against websites pointing out idiosyncrasies of particular races. Except against white people.


  455. All coffee’s disappearing from Earth would precipitate WW III out of sheer crankiness. Sex makes the world go ’round, but what do we WASPy types drink after porking (Miles’ word) all night? Drink good coffee in the AM. We like that organic Sumatra from Borders for junk. OMG, Starbucks is like so ’80′s and not happening although next time I’m coerced into going there (at gunpoint), I intend to ask for a “large coffee” and enjoy the contempt behind the counter.


  456. don’t you know satire when you see it?


  457. [...] beans and then laborioulsy roasted them in small batches….phwew! Wow….that is so….WHITE! I’m even enough of a snob that I don’t get what I consider rediculous drinks that cover [...]


  458. I couldn’t tell if you were kidding. Those sites already exist:

    http://www.asian-central.com/stuffasianpeoplelike/
    http://stuffebplike.com/


  459. dat be “ignint”


  460. Fair and balanced? Make it interesting; what do black, brown, red, and yellow people like?

    But that wouldn’t be P.C. would it?


  461. This blog is very creative. I will recommend it to my class when I teach whiteness.


  462. on March 27, 2008 at 1:31 pm Christopher Kosel

    But then so was the Banjo …


  463. #.23 White people love to be right.


  464. [...] had a point - I mean, for crying out loud, look at this list.  #1, Coffee.  #24, Wine, #23, Microbreweries.  Apple Products?  Arrested Development?  The Idea of [...]


  465. on March 27, 2008 at 7:34 pm another white guy

    you people are ridiculous these post on this site are so funny especially 61 about bicycles it’s not meant to be racists just funny
    so enjoy it don’t act like it hurts you are anyone else reading it


  466. You are all stupid ignorant white people, coffee and tea (for that matter ) are two of the oldest and most powerful trade commodites in the world, long before WHITE people discoverd them. Ten years ago most of you losers didn’t even know how to order coffee, and thanks to the green machine you all are so sophisticated.
    Maybe should all leave your sad little lives and explore the world to see what true experiences lay ahead.


  467. on March 27, 2008 at 8:24 pm Whitest guy here

    Idiot


  468. Ummm, what about the coffee thing…?


  469. Excuse, me you need to relax and stop looking for reasons to throw the race card at people. There are appropriate times to do so, but this is not one of those times. Calm down bro.


  470. On a train in Southern India in the 60s, when we stopped at a station, vendors would run along the side of the train shouting, “Coppee! Coppee! Coppee!” You paid them a few coins through the window, and got a small clay cup with delicious hot SWEET coffee. And when it was done, you tossed it out the window. Very “green!”


  471. on March 28, 2008 at 8:39 am David WIlson

    Its never racist to take the piss out of your own ethnic group. Ever watch any Mell Brooks movies? Nobody but a Jew could get away with what he does when joking at the expense of the Jews without being called an anti semite – and I.ve seen video of a famous black comedian making fun of ‘Stupid Niggas’. Cant remember the guys name right now.

    So yes… its ALWAYS fine to make fun of your own people.

    BTW I’m a Brit.. we’ve always had a love/ hate affair with racist humour.. especially about the dumb micks…


  472. [...] (so are many of our friends who are non-white in the classic sense). For instance, today I had coffee while reading my morning chapter of a David Sedaris book, went to Berkeley Bowl, bought organic [...]


  473. ha!


  474. i pooped my pants


  475. Ditto. I like diet coke, hot chocolate, ice tea, fruit juice and milk, but I hate coffee.


  476. [...] truth is, like most people described on that site, I like hating corporations, coffee, knowing what’s best for poor people, and Mos Def. I also have enjoyed the first three [...]


  477. Now they hand you the “coppee” in a plastic cup, which everyone STILL throws out the window. Not so great.


  478. Mind you, this blog is about things that are prominent in white culture, not just things that originated in it.


  479. i hear you live in riverdale, come to my work: second cup on the danforth, i will be the asian!!


  480. on March 30, 2008 at 6:53 am godimsickofstupidpeople

    This has always driven me nuts.. you do realize that the Irish are the SAME RACE as you, right? They are as white as you are! So if you need to find a reason to feel superior (you Brits excel at that) I would think you could come up with something more accurate. The fact that someone of British citizenry even has the gall to make a comment like that after centuries of oppression, rape and murder of the Irish people is sickening.

    This whole blog is idiotic, and not even remotely funny. Hurrah for broad generalizations and creating more division between groups by highlighting their “otherness”. Hahaha hilarious /


  481. You cant invent something that nature produces,coffee shops sprang up in 18th century in Europe which began the coffee house craze. They did not and still do not exist in Ethiopia where the first coffee trees were found


  482. i thought it was grape soda?


  483. Fair Trade coffee is a rip off, the money does not go back to the farmers. Intersting the guy who runs the non profit org is having a 25,000 sq ft house build on the ocean in Cost Rica


  484. if white peiple did not colonize s.america and c. america you people would still be sacraficing virgins , building pyramids and trying to discover fire….


  485. another thing white people like…tripping through India


  486. Guess what a stereotype is…
    Yeah, its a bunch of people seeing the same damn thing…


  487. Please visit jesus-is-lord website.
    Thank you.


  488. actually, the Turks during the Ottoman Empire had coffee shops….they were frequently points where political discussion and grouping of anti-sultan activity…..they were eventually shut down and banned for these very reasons….


  489. So who died and left a Mexican in charge?


  490. Is it OK if I just watch the Discovery Channel?


  491. Janala, that reply was very white of you. Thanks for the travelogue from a foreign place.


  492. You’re ignoring another classic white person trait: self-depracation to the point of being obnoxious. How many times have we all seen the new white person in a group try to gain acceptance by being falsly humble and thus seem very “real” to the group?


  493. LOL!


  494. Coffee is my only proof that there is a God…


  495. on March 31, 2008 at 9:39 am Half White (not half wit!)

    There is a website for Stuff Asian People Like (see “JAPAN”) and there’s a link in one of the posts.

    And get a sense of humor. This is funny stuff! 99% of my friends complain about their expensive coffee habit and yet do nothing to fix it. That’s great!

    This is stereotypical; which means there’s a small grain of truth in it – look up “satire” in the dictionary.

    White people get a hold of an idea/trend and won’t let go…they like to think it was all their idea. Just laugh it off.
    I’m half white (but basically consider myself “white”) and I wish people would laugh more about their own races’ idiosyncrasies.
    And yes, Jews are good with money.


  496. My parents started me on coffee when I was two by giving me “shots” in empty creamer cups at diners


  497. Dunkin Donuts FTW!!


  498. whats coppee you self indulgant white crustaion?


  499. first of all you aint my brother. second i have nothing to say for i dont want to over analyze comedy. looksl ike you are turning white. you need to drop out of grad school you self absorbed ahole. (what ever color you are).


  500. White people like to explain things precisely which is why a white person invented wikipedia and, of course, a bunch of very white people, invented the Encylopaedia Britannica.


  501. [...] inseli, drugule, nu chestiile astea sunt cheia vietii, ci java, Joe, rocket fuel. Cafeaua este cel mai important lucru pentru un alb. Vrei sa fii o cioara? Nu? BEA CAFEA! Uite inca un desen, in caz ca ai uitat cum iti [...]


  502. [...] right at home. According to them, white people like a lot of very unpredictable things, such as coffee, religions that their parents don’t belong to, bottles of water, outdoor performance clothes, [...]


  503. You should check out the minority response. http://www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com. It’s hilarious.


  504. I’m white, and if it’s a hot black liquid, is not on fire, and doesn’t smell like it been ran down someones’ butt crack… IT’S COFFEE… and being white… I DRINK IT.


  505. on March 31, 2008 at 6:07 pm I don't Know....

    Let’s no forget the others!

    black people prefer driving the Nissan Altima and they like to back into parking places.

    Latinos have their own “ethnic” food huts on the side of the road and have stores that only other Latinos shop at.

    Asians like to shop at Hollister and always major in business or science.


  506. This is very true…however by NOT pulling it down it just reflects to me that we might be just a little more ready to laugh at ourselves….. a little more intune to the fact that it’s funny, sometimes true and that it’s ok to laugh.


  507. if they made cocaine legal maybe WP would forget about coffee.


  508. “Its ok to make fun of one race as long as its white right?”

    Right. Good boy! ;)

    It will be necessary to make a lot of fun of white people to get to the level of excess other ethnicities and races are unfortunately used to – and, consequently, to be racist against white people –, because white people, after ages of disrespecting everyone on Earth who was different, take great advance. And white people are still living of the profits of that… and hope to live a lot more… and I don’t mean money. I mean social integration; growing up where good schools are and your grandparents were born; being natural of organized countries, with security, health; not having to leave your country to have dead end jobs cleaning white people’s houses etcetera etcetera… all that was built up on richness that once belonged to other people and white people took in some moment of their glorious national histories. Plus – by doing so, white people made it impossible for other people to develop and organize naturally in their own time and territories. This is not yesterday, it still is.

    Now, some people thought that at the slightest appearance of some regret by half a dozen white people, the rest of them could live happily ever after and not bother about anything anymore. Do they really believe centuries of exploration could be solved during the (oh, so white) love-and-peace-five-year-fashion in the 60s?
    Individually no one is guilty of things done by another person: but communities have responsibilities, countries have responsibilities – is nothing but truthful to expect white people to volunteer and individually take a share of their heavy heritance. Someone must do it and act consistently. It can´t be abstract sorrow for no one to bear. There’s a whole world to change. Not being such a sissy would be a nice simple thing to start with.


  509. Sinfanti….Brilliant!!


  510. I agree with what I think you are trying to say…
    However, the little dots…after every thought…take away from the point…you are making…


  511. i crapped myself


  512. The “c*nt” comment raises an interesting point:

    White people* love asterisks (and footnotes in general).

    Also (may already be listed, didn’t check): quoting things and parentheses.

    *I’m white.


  513. Kinda like creating a United Caucasian College Fund, eh? Love, peace, and chicken grease…


  514. actually I believe the word coffee , is derived from the work qahwah, an arabic and orginates from Arabia not Ethiopia


  515. I think the point here is that while simply drinking coffee is not necessarily a White attribute in and of itself, referring to a medium coffee as a ‘grande’ surely is (assuming you don’t speak Italian and probably even then). The only thing more White than that is referring to the teenager behind the counter with the dirty apron as a ‘barrista’.


  516. Blacks don’t need a “what black people like” Web site, they already have BET channel on TV.


  517. on April 1, 2008 at 1:47 pm does it matter who I am?

    I liked this article (as a joke) until I read all the comments. Way to ruin it! Racial tentions run from people who draw meaning where there was none intended. So what if white people love coffee?

    “White people” are so often denied a culture card because of the stereotypes connected with the term. My parents drank a ton of coffee when I grew up, and guess what? I do too now, and that would be the same no matter what color my skin was. The fact that norms are passed down through culture doesn’t mean you can draw conclusions about a group of people.

    Side note: The whole paying more to be “green” is a corporate push brought on by the pressure from government and other countries that care more than we do about protecting resources. How that got assigned to white people is a puzzle to me.


  518. Anyone who calls coffee “joe” should be punched in the face.


  519. Wow you knew a white person in high school? Did they bring a thermous(which you would not be able to see what they were drinking) or did they buy it right out of the teachers cafateria?, liar.


  520. on April 2, 2008 at 8:27 am Laughing my ass off

    Also adding “vanilla” as a flavouring to any kind of coffee or tea variety is extremely white. However, “hazelnut” is becomming more popular as it eludes mildly to European culture especially. Combining “hazelnut” and “vanilla” shows that you are particularly refined and have a complex “palate”.

    Also renaming every white person’s favourite colour “chocolate brown” to “coffee”, or calling beige “mocha” and dark brown “espresso” is very trendy in the home decor field. I was the only jew working in a fabirc store run by an old jewish man and we’d always make jokes about the WASPs that would come in. I would deal with these “white” “interior” designers who ironically would come in with a Venti Non Fat Chai Mocha Vanilla Soy Half Caf Dry Latte from Starbucks and tell me that they want to upholster their clients’ “ottoman” or “Setee” in “espresso ultrasuede”. Perhaps they need “Cappucinno coloured” silk for a “roman blind” in the “breakfast nook” or “mud room”.

    We’d play along with their game, I’d reduce the price slightly to make them think they are getting a deal and then he’d sell them 3 extra yards they don’t need…take my lunch break and we’d joke about “shiksas” and “the goyim” behind their backs and how much their 12 year old daughters are jealous that they can’t have a Bat Mitzvah party. Oh yeah and we also had a tag team way of makingthem purchase “flawed” fabric…”because a pearl is a flaw after all” and “even Marilyn Monroe had a birthmark”…trust me they love being entertained by Jews they just eat it up like it’s a free comedy show.

    At least we can make fun of ourselves and make money at doing it too!

    By the way there are no Starbucks in Israel. They werethere for 2 years and went out of business.


  521. OK, I’ll grant you that white americans love coffee in gigantic quantities…

    but being Colombian,

    and having been raised drinking cafe con leche out of my baby bottle (seriously)

    I’ll bet you i was the first one who drank coffee in my lily white high school.

    But the funny thing is to come back from Colombia, where people drink coffee out of what you might consider dentist office mouthwash cups (the little thimble-sized ones), and encounter a Starbucks venti in the Houston airport!


  522. DING! Officially, the whitest comment yet.


  523. You must have missed a little sitcom known as Seinfeld. They spent 9 seasons making fun of white people.


  524. Java Man obviously ‘discovered’ coffee.

    Java Man is the name given to fossils discovered in 1891 at Trinil on the banks of the Bengawan Solo River in Indonesia, one of the first known specimens of Homo erectus. Its discoverer, Eugène Dubois, gave it the scientific name Pithecanthropus erectus, a name derived from Greek and Latin roots meaning upright ape-man.

    So, coffe was ‘discovered’ by ape-men in Indonesia.


  525. I second that.


  526. I think white people would be the only ones to create such sites… we do, after all, enjoy explaining things.


  527. “Coppee” is coffee in my language (from english obviously). This romancing of the Indian language even from throwing the cup out the train window is really ridiculous. Especially when these whites go all the way to India and see all of the shit, piss, and poverty everywhere and think it’s god’s greatest creation. There’s a lot wrong with India from corruption to opium to AIDs.


  528. How about http://www.uglychinesecandians.com run by a third or forth chinese-canadian.


  529. on April 3, 2008 at 11:21 am Another Blak Brother

    Check out “Stuff Educated Black People Like”:
    http://stuffebplike.com/


  530. ASAIN POWER!!


  531. on April 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm JESUS WAS A BLACK MAN LYNCHED ITALIAN STYLE

    http://www.tucc.org


  532. on April 3, 2008 at 6:17 pm So White I Illuminate

    Not only racist, but liberally biased


  533. This list is now the most popular thing white people like. I have it quoted to me like 3 times a day.


  534. on April 4, 2008 at 10:06 am Peripherlalme

    White people are not actually white . They are appear pink sometimes and sometimes red and whey they lie around in the sun for centuries some look brown and the rest an even deeper shade of red. Not a single one of them looks white. Pink, and red yes.


  535. on April 4, 2008 at 8:58 pm iwantmyfiveminutesback

    neither this post nor any of the comments help anything. thanks for the waste of time. try doing something productive.


  536. That’s so true… I hate coffee, but I smoke. And when I started smoking, I did it for the social coolness of it, i was 16. And it was so bad, the taste, the heat, the smoke… well, I now love it and I know it’s my addiction that is speaking with my mouth. So bad.


  537. People, freakin’ get to know spell check! Your poor spelling skills are making it appear as if you are uneducated.


  538. GET OVER IT!!!!! Talk about a sissy…..


  539. on April 6, 2008 at 4:56 am Stevie Himler

    Coffee# 1, I don’t even see granite counter tops on the list, your not really a with it white person if don’t have granite counter tops.
    I have got to go I have the granite guys coming right now. Fuck you, to all the white people.


  540. I am white and I started drinking coffee in first grade because it was what we had for breakfast along with toast! I don’t like Starbucks, and I get totally confused when I order a cup of coffee, and then have to answer a litany of questions about size, blend, flavors, cream etc., etc., etc. It’s even worse when I go to a restaurant and ask for a cup of tea! Why can’t people who work in these places understand that if I just say coffee or tea, that’s exactly what I mean. And who decided that a soy product should be called “milk” anyway? I do admit I buy Fair trade and organic products whenever I can because I am now at a place in my life I can afford to spend an extra $2/pound, and besides which, Why shouldn’t I do something harmless that makes me feel better?? Geez, it’s not like I’m buying coke or sniffing glue!


  541. Weed, all the white people like to smoke dope, another perfected by the blacks. Blacks are to weed what the french are to wine.


  542. [...] Zajrzyjcie na listę, jeśli nie odnajdziecie tam co najmniej 20 własnych upodobań, stawiam kawę. Albo wodę w butelce. Albo [...]


  543. the inheritance should be #1, thats what the white folks love most of all!


  544. [...] like [insert respective item from the list here].” This brand of comment ranges from unnecessarily verbose to intentionally [...]


  545. i don’t think the site is racist at all…but the comments start crossing the line when readers really miss the point of the jokes


  546. on April 7, 2008 at 7:44 am Less Anonymous

    ALLERGIC TO FUN!


  547. Is it because your not white or is it a class issue? Is part of it the feeling of inadequacy we all get from not having the all of the stuff you see in commercials and the media.


  548. Diet Coke may be white. But here is something whiter: Coke made with real sugar, not corn syrup, imported from Mexico (supposedly organic). There is an organic, local produce restaurant in the city that serves it.

    I have never been there, yet, but I heard from a fellow member of the white race that the Coke is organic too! I bet it is $5 dollars a bottle.

    Is all of this white or just elitist/classist? Or are they same thing?

    I might be wrong, but I thought soda with corn syrup isn’t available in Mexico or anywhere else, except the US because of subsidies to agri-business.


  549. You oh so superior europeans should get a sense of humor, unless you are German in which case never mind .


  550. I’m white and I used to hate coffee. I like it now but only with lots of cream and sugar. If not cream and sugar, then it has to be good coffee.


  551. yeah but white people like it


  552. Yes White People Drink Your Coffee. Tell Youself He’s Not watching He’s not Watching. But I am. Oh yes I am. http://aniggaincyberspace.com/


  553. mmm….coffee….


  554. I want to trip in India, have a double coppee mochachino and eat a cow.


  555. and then talk about it at a dinner party


  556. [...] down any computer I’ve been on. Here’s a quote from the first thing white people like, coffee: There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that asians like iced coffee and [...]


  557. Wrong. It was the Turks who invented coffee. And theirs is still better than anything you can get here in the US. As a die hard, seventh generation American, it’s hard for me to concede this, but Turkish coffee is superior.


  558. on April 8, 2008 at 6:48 pm ItIsWhatItIs

    I think you’re right. In fact, my husband and I were just talking about this at dinner. I don’t think that it’s necessarily bad for us to talk about things like this either. I think we would all be better served if we layed our feelings and thoughts out on the table–honestly, and with an open mind. Racism didn’t go away when black people were allowed to vote and work regular jobs. Many people seem to think that because black people are “allowed” to do the same things (and in the same places) as white people, that everything is okay. But the reality exists that my grandparents got a head start, so to speak becuase they were white. Whereas, a black girl my age (28) may have a family who is years behind, socially, economically, etc., becuase while my granfather was working to build a life for future generations, her (black) grandfather didn’t have that opportunity. We fail to realize those things sometimes.

    Racism will eventually become less and less of a problem, as cultures evolve. But to ensure that there is no relapse of the past, we absolutely cannot ignore the fact that it exists. Deep down, whether they choose to admit it or not, everyone knows it does. We should speak openly about it, intentionally crossing racial borders to get inside the minds and hearts of one another so that we gain a respect and understanding of what causes racial lines.

    It would do each of us some good to stop taking offense to comments and start trying to understand why those comments are made, what causes them, etc.

    While I’m not sure buzmav is right in that making fun of white people to level the playing field, so to speak, is the right approach, the basis for his comment was pretty much dead on.

    Yours truly,
    The White Girl in her Twenties


  559. what the hell is wrong with opium? and who the hell cares what white people like, im white, i like rap, hate coffee, hate everything European, and most of all hate soccer. LEGALIZE POT****


  560. What makes a comment white, because it doesn’t say bro or use slang. All of you people stating the most obvious things on this page thinking your so much more intelligent then the next guy, need to look in the mirror.


  561. BLACK BROTHER

    Many people like to think that there not racists, when in reality they are. Like you big black brother, the fact that you thought about this site and racism at the same time makes you exactly that racist


  562. Racism will never fade, not until and black kid can go through 3rd grade without learning about abraham lincoln. We all need to realize that black people will always feel like they are owed something by white people, due to the fact that our great great great great great grandfather owned yours. You hating me for this reason would be like me hating the Red Sox because the ex ex ex ex ex ex ex owner and manager let the babe go,, but wait I DO, so wtf who cares this is like deal with it quit trying to solve it


  563. One thing white people like more that tripping through India is being able to say they were in Manali, Poona, Goa, anywhere, way before it was as overdeveloped as it is now and are able to describe the now quaint ways of how it used to be.


  564. It’s ‘you’re’.. not your


  565. Indubitably!


  566. Wait! How can I use i.e. in this post effectively??? *cries*


  567. Oh! and if the answer is the former.. what is the latter?


  568. [...] #25 David Sedaris#24 Wine#23 Microbreweries#22 Having Two Last Names#21 Writers Workshops#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture#19 Traveling#18 Awareness#17 Hating their Parents#16 Gifted Children#15 Yoga#14 Having Black Friends#13 Tea#12 Non-Profit Organizations#11 Asian Girls#10 Wes Anderson Movies#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside#8 Barack Obama#7 Diversity#6 Organic Food#5 Farmer’s Markets#4 Assists#3 Film Festivals#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to#1 Coffee [...]


  569. who the fuck would scroll down this huge fucking list just to post something about white people liking coffee


  570. on April 9, 2008 at 4:47 pm jane masters

    what does that have to do with this topic?????????????


  571. on April 9, 2008 at 5:12 pm Peter Acevedo

    Coffee is awesome.

    Stuff White People Should LOVE….intelligent political analysis. Get it @ http://www.savagepolitics.com

    Check out the article “We are the puppets”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://savagepolitics.com/?p=271


  572. I am white, I love coffee. My dog is not white, he does not like coffee.


  573. its a white canadian guy and a filipino-cdn


  574. alert(‘xss’);


  575. [...] Stuff White People Like.  This makes me laugh.  Just when I felt special that I had read about the blog in The Globe on my way to Vancouver, the blog makes FUN OF ME: “White people love feeling special & thinking they are unique.”  The fact that I was reading the paper on a plane is likely telling too… [...]


  576. Funny site, however, I think that you should re-name it:

    Stuff Liberal White People Like…..


  577. on April 10, 2008 at 11:18 am some white chick

    you know what else they like…pretentiously telling you the origins/genesis of things commonly known or understood. even if you agree, add information or differ you get the same look of disapproval and superiority.


  578. How come black people like malt liquor and orange soda so much?


  579. You are a genius. As a white person, I often have difficulty laughing and showing emotion.. but this really helped. Thanks!


  580. Just found this blog and very amusing reading and so much to read. Good job.


  581. “Coppee” is actually the malayalam word for coffee.


  582. obviously you’ve never been to puerto rico…been drinking coffee since i was 10 and when you go to someone’s house instead of soda (or pop), they offer coffee no matter what time of day (or night) it is…the only difference is white people go out for coffee (ie, starbucks) while hispanics see coffee as a social, intimate affair and it takes place at the home, not a public place.


  583. This post was black gold. I really need to remember to down a good, fair-trade cuppa joe before I read this blog because the laughter headache added to the lack of caffeine headache can really bust a girl’s brain.


  584. on April 11, 2008 at 12:09 pm I'm Not White But Lots of People Think I Am

    The more I read of this blog the more I distress. #s 13, 6/48, 58, 51, 79, and 28 (no I haven’t seen the latest episode of the office) are dangerously close to the heart. But I’m not white!

    Does this mean I am being assimilated…have I lost all hope of coolness. I hate 80s music! Help!

    - Hopelessy Hispanic


  585. on April 11, 2008 at 3:32 pm i is a genius

    who loves orange soda? i do, i do, i do, i do, i do i do-hoo!


  586. on April 11, 2008 at 3:33 pm i is a genius

    who loves orange soda? i do i do i do i do i do-hoo!!!


  587. Please go find a sense of humor. If people can’t laugh at themselves about their idiosyncrases (?) then the apocalypse is upon us. If you can’t find humor in this blog–go somewhere else. It’s really easy to just click the “X” in the upper right hand corner. Ya’ll have made my day. WP are fun to make fun of–we can be absolutely enthralled with ourselves sometimes.


  588. There are such lists, dumbass! And people like me (a black guy) love them and laugh at them.


  589. on April 12, 2008 at 7:41 pm George W. Is Stupid

    What are you talking about? Racism won’t stop until kids stop learning American History? The importance of Abraham Lincoln’s presidency, while over-stated by historians, is symbolically as important as any other presidency in American History.

    As a white person myself, I love the blog. It isn’t even making fun of me, it is making fun of “typical,” “trendy” white people. This blog makes me laugh because it’s true, and because it makes fun of the type of people I’m not friends with.


  590. [...] Þetta er einhvern veginn svo satt. Samt á ég hvorki heima í Bandaríkjunum né hef ég tekið sérstaklega mikið eftir þessu. Þýðir það að ég gleypi við öllu sem ég les á bloggi? [...]


  591. I do knot know about any ethnicity that shine above any other one. In Chinese, Arabic/Muslim, african or Inca’s cultures all nations killed, raped, sold to slavery and commited genocide of their own and other cultures and often they still do.
    American Indians killed each other with unbelievable cruelty, committed genocide and took each other’s land . We all descendants of savages.

    As for whining about “growing up where good schools are and your grandparents were born; being natural of organized countries, with security, health; not having to leave your country to have dead end jobs cleaning white people’s houses etcetera etcetera” – that’s EXACTLY what everyone experienced arriving to America – Irish, Jews, Chinese, and many others came through all these and own NOTHING to less succesfull citisens.

    …all that was built up on richness that once belonged to other people … really???? Do you want to weight what exactly white people took from other people and what did they give them?

    …but communities have responsibilities, … is nothing but truthful to expect white people to volunteer and individually take a share of their heavy heritance …
    I never heard black community apology for burning and destroying american cities 40 years ago or mass pogroms of Koreans and their buisnesses in California ten years ago.


  592. …I think not.


  593. Any Hispanic ones???? Plz!!!


  594. Can’t say I agree with your whole post, but that guy’s last line kinda got on my nerves too. I thought the same thing. However, I’m always laughing at my people, hell sometimes about other people so…. can’t fully agree.


  595. I gladly pay the extra fifty cents for a Starbucks coffee. Why? Because I know I’ll be served by a perky, perky, perky White girl who knows her ass will get fired if she cops attitude.

    If I go to Tim Horton’s I will be served by a Filipina or Caribbean who, if she is having a good day, might manage a grunt, and who looks in the other direction when dispensing change. Yeah, I need that action like I need a hole in my head.


  596. on April 14, 2008 at 6:34 am whitey whitey white white

    I hate coffee. And coppee. I also hate people who travelled India in the 60s and still talk about it.

    I like cheese


  597. Starbuck’s products are for people that don”t actually like coffee. It’s the most mediocre blend going. And, the only thing to be said for “Columbian” is their PR.


  598. Haha, I’m white and I live in Seattle, which pretty much means my morning feedings as a baby started off with a bottle of Verona roast.


  599. As far as coffee goes, I like mine black and early in the morning

    want to hear about interesting white people? check out my blog unusualppl.wordpress.com (although it’s not just about white people) haha


  600. Gotta LuV It! Site well done!


  601. Does Meena stand for just plain old mean? Some of us get to see shit, piss and poverty in places like Alabama and Mississippi (where we grew up in all white neighborhoods thank you very much).


  602. You know, people that post comments on these things are some know-it-all motherfuckers. you guys really know your shit. props.
    retards.


  603. haha a new whiteness has been reached


  604. [...] a simple explanation as to why white people love their coffee. In less than    3 months, 618 comments have been made on this post. What a [...]


  605. on April 16, 2008 at 9:12 pm John Dauphinais

    I hail from New Hampshire, a bastion of New England whiteness, and have shared many of the experiences mentioned in these posts. I have recently come to love coffee, after religiously declining what must be wading pools of the stuff for over twenty years, and am not too picky about who I buy it from, as long as it tastes good. On another topic that was touched on earlier in the thread… for all you soccer bashers out there, I would think twice before disparaging the “beautiful game” as the level of conditioning required to excel at this sport is beyond the scope of many NFL players who would be left on the pitch sucking wind. I have cultivated a respect and love for the game of soccer even though I have only played it sparingly myself, and now follow my kids around New England for their travel team games. They have a blast and my knowledge of the game has grown exponentially. I guess the point of this long winded post is that you need to be true to yourself in terms of what you find personally compelling and avoid the false posturing that is common to youth, particularly white youth. I will admit though, that it does make for a fun read as we white folks have tried to “out cool” one another on many different levels. Flame on.


  606. This is the funniest thing I have ever read.


  607. There already is a Stuff Black People Like…written by Black people though. Sorry.


  608. [...] and roll of nearby thunder.  I heard things rattling on the dresser and in the house.  Since I had not yet had my coffee I didn’t take it too seriously.  I knew thunderstorms were in the forecast for today and I [...]


  609. i have been elected the international spokesperson for white people and i agree totally that coffee plays a major part in every white persons life i mean it provides enogh energy to get through the day with a good taste that energy drinks cant beat. it has also turned all my teachers into starbuck junkies, im surprized there isnt a rehab yet.


  610. But, what if some hippy vegetarian who can kickbox said it in a really slow tone of voice that … sounded like patchouli. (yes, it’s that pervasive…it’s the smell you can even hear.)


  611. I think it’s always OK to make fun of your own peer group.


  612. [...] “White” people love coffee, especially fair trade coffee. The THREE Starbucks on campus, White Dog, the Black Cat, and Bucks capitalize on our need to be [...]


  613. BismillaharRahmanirRahim

    as-salaamu ‘alaikum. It is good that you mentioned this, I think perhaps coffee is something that all people generally like. What a beautiful thing, something we can all agree on! Coffee…

    -Saifuddin


  614. I do like how this list epitomizes whitey, and I’m sure there are plenty of “ethnics” who read this list and are very surprised to find out that they actually are white too. And not just white, but how rediculously white..to quote Mj. Pain: Like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm. Plus it makes sense that white men like coffee because they need something hot and black after their cold white girlfriends. BOOOOOO-YA!


  615. #80 anybody????


  616. …he was lynched for spamming shitty religious websites on an internet thread


  617. Hilarious! It doesn’t have to be made legal, the super rich ones basically get away with it anyway. The penalty isn’t comparable to penalties for other drugs.


  618. Wow, BET. Yay, we get to get one freaking channel out of the hundreds available!!!!!! *Please note sarcasm*


  619. I agree. I love them too. I laugh at them knowing some of them true. Many comedians also makes jokes about their races, and I laugh at it because I know it’s true. For example, I remember I was watching a comedy stand-up talking about the difference between white people and black people. It was aying how most white people would be like “I hope no one takes my seat at the theater” while a black person would be like “I wish someone would try to take my seat.” It was just so hilarious to me because I knew it was true, and especially since I said something similar the day before about someone stealing my food. I think we just all need to lighten up and laugh about ourselves.


  620. [...] I hate Stuff White People Like. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Most white people, for whatever reason, love it.  Yet they never see themselves when they read it.  They only point and laugh at the other guy at Starbucks. [...]


  621. actually, crack & cocaine now carry the same penalties in nyc… other cities soon to follow.


  622. ok, you’re ufckin hilarious, lololol…


  623. Micks are Scots, not Irish. Find a list of Scottish clans and they’ll all start with ‘Mc’.


  624. You must have gone to graduate school!


  625. Awesome blog.

    I don’t think I saw gourmet pizza on your list. White people (like me) like exotic creamy chicken dijon pizza, you know.

    I don’t like everything on your list, but this was a very entertaining read.

    Maybe white people like blogs?

    +A


  626. I like regular coffee like maxwell house and it’s a shame that every place you go they funny tasting coffee that costs more.
    White people think you not cool if you drink regular coffee.

    blog


  627. [...] drove The 5 to work today and stopped at Starbucks on my way in. On my way out to the parking lot, I saw my new car and did a double take because I [...]


  628. I talked to a telemarketer from Goa. Once I got him started on the town he would not shut up about it.


  629. Black people have big weenies.. hehehehehehehhehehehehehehheheh…………yes, such an immature WHITE comment… Hmph. I am who I am. :)


  630. I’m white and I don’t like coffee.


  631. White people hate each other, example:

    FRENCH VS AMERICANS( white )
    RUSSIANS VS AMERICANS ( white )
    BRITISH VS AMERICANS (white )
    NORTH AFRICANS (white ) vs Ameicans (white? )


  632. on April 27, 2008 at 2:44 am Stuff Real People Like

    Dear Readers,

    The writer’s of this post, and blog, are racist and uneducated young white guys. They (you) are under hard surveillance from the council. They shouldn’t throw around insults without backing or meaning. From their comfortable, parent-funded lives, they joke about subjects that are no joking matter. Everyone that reads this discriminating blog should be ashamed of themselves. Please do yourself, and everyone a favor and go to http://wordpress.com/complaints/
    and flag this blog as a racist hole on the web.

    None of us need this site here!

    These guys do not need to have their voice heard. They do not have a right to speak for a race, or compare their race to anyone else’s!!

    Please help stop this blog from spreading the disease that they so playfully toy with and hurt emotions!

    Complain:
    http://wordpress.com/complaints/


  633. you omitted to mention that mexican coke tastes sooo much better than american coke, and it is because of the real sugar!!and in california,it is not more expensive. white it may be..


  634. LOL — I think that’s damn funny and SO VERY TRUE! :D Keep it up!


  635. You’re the wrong kind of white person … read the rest of the blog.


  636. PazPraSempre:
    You love punk and metal and yet you say you hate white culture? How silly.


  637. I dont think coffee is a white thing (although I do agree that it’s white people who say “You dont want to see me without my coffee!” and calling it joe, etc).
    I think it’s a white thing to order “coffee”, i.e. de-caf no foam soy sugar-free hazelnut latte, extra hot, all that crap.
    Also, I think white people tend to see coffee as a medium to wake up, as opposed to something you enjoy. My friend is Indian and she says that people at her work look at her crazy if she drinks coffee at 3pm. I drink it at 10 at night.


  638. Coffee comes from Ethiopia and was cultivated by the muslim Arabs to substitute the prohibited alcohol. Of course this didn’t stop the Europeans from using it too, even coming up with “Irish Coffee”. Meaning the most marvelous concoction of mixing alcohol and caffeine. Uppers and downers together and let that white body fight it out internally.

    Here in HAwaii the Japanese cultivated our Kona coffee to its high standards. Originally sold it to the whalers in the 19th century to cure the scurvies/vitamin deficiency on the ships.

    My mixed race daughter drinks it since she is 7 years old. Guess I have to vote against that coffee is purely a white people thing.


  639. Wrong.

    Maybe most white people but I am the exception, fuck face.

    I enjoy mainly tea, and even then only in the afternoon after a hard day’s work.

    The odd time I will have coffee, but this is rare is it makes Mr Poo come from my ass at an alarming rate.

    It also makes me angry, so when I have coffee I am shitty…dripping shitty.

    And unpleasant.

    Hence why I lay off the stuff.

    Moron.


  640. Cocaine….thats a very white drug isn’t it?


  641. on May 2, 2008 at 8:31 am idiots all idiots

    ur a dick


  642. on May 2, 2008 at 2:48 pm sleepyhead

    LMAO


  643. You are very right about white people being glued to coffee.
    I work with some that you never see without a cup in their hand. I mean all day long. I think it is more of a white guy thing. Yes the girls drink coffee too , but no way as addicted to it like the guys are. It’s not healthy for them.
    http://www.culturallycool.com


  644. white people are the 8th wonder of the world..they are awsome!…they make perfect sense in a world of non sense. this is illustrated by how they subconsciously encourage substance depandance in their culture….weather its food (bugers and coffee) to drugs (from grass to nose powders)…they’re rebels without a cause…they need to fight…they bring obesity…so they can fight it….they bring drugs…so they can establish an anti drug force….they fund terrorism..so they can fight terrorists….do you catch my flow….they want to be the source and cure to all…..they’re really generous people:)


  645. on May 6, 2008 at 2:11 pm fredrickus

    I don’t like coffee…not at all..lol


  646. ughh everyone like coffee. i think that white people don’t really have their own culture so they feel that if they take stuff from other peoples cultures it will become theres. white people are just not as secure in there own culture as others are. which is why fads come and go so quickly in white culture. White people should define themselves by J.crew, Ralph Lauren, plaid, euqestrians, polo shirts and golf oh and perrier mineral water haha


  647. on May 6, 2008 at 11:28 pm waiting for the mayonnaise entry

    what makes it white is how uptight, defensive and patronizing the tone is. Quite an accomplishment as all this is achieved whilst appearing sensitive to country of origin issues and proudly displaying mock-familiarity with foreign languages…


  648. Here’s a clue: Race is a cultural construct, not a biological one. If a Brit thinks the Irish are a different race, they are. Are the Japanese, the Chinese, and the Koreans the “same race”? Try asking a Japanese, Chinese, or Korean person, vs. an America person. You’ll almost certainly get different answers.

    Who’s right? They all are. Race is a cultural construct.


  649. It makes fun of the people I *am* friends with, and it’s still funny.


  650. on May 7, 2008 at 2:16 pm White Bread

    you guys just obviously arn’t white enough to know that it doesn’t matter where it comes from, it was worthless until us white people made it worthwhile. Its like Jesus, He didn’t matter till he was white, thats all Im saying.


  651. on May 8, 2008 at 6:07 am Jeff Schreifels

    No, he’s the perfect case study…white people like to say how they hate white culture and everyone else has a better one…white people are great at hating themselves.


  652. More like stuff yuppies like. This is gay.


  653. on May 9, 2008 at 5:05 pm Chris Bland

    OKOKOK, I can’t dribble a basketball, and I don’t have rhythm, and I am not inscrutable, but I don’t feel guilty, even though I have liberal opinions. It is not a tough load. This site is a gas.


  654. on May 9, 2008 at 9:43 pm java java joe joe

    I LOVE COFFEE! YAY!


  655. Firstly…best blog EVER! Whites do love their coffee, but even more specifically Starbucks. They like the status symbol of walking around with the cup and silently letting everybody around them know they can afford Starbucks. Also, they like the Jazz music at most stores. Whites love jazz. It echoes culture and the melodies stir the feeling of ease, calm and happiness in White people. Nothing like a little Miles Davis and a “cup of joe” in the morning for a white person to start their day.


  656. on May 13, 2008 at 3:02 am CaptainRandom

    Your grammar hurts my whiteness.


  657. on May 13, 2008 at 3:05 am CaptainRandom

    Now that was a white answer.


  658. on May 13, 2008 at 3:12 am CaptainRandom

    Hahaha, I was just thinking that.


  659. Do Indians working tech-support phone lines, pretending to be white people also like coffee?


  660. im white and i think this whole thing was extremely funny in a sad way because most of its true.


  661. thats what Im talkin about. Im an educated nonwhite and you wouldnt believe how often people patronize me for being successful just because I’m not white. As if they were saying “Hey! good job your not a failure like all the rest of those nonwhites.”
    Telling somebody nonwhite good job for something that you wouldn’s say to another white person, is insulting. for example “your so well spoken.” is a complete insult to me. What you think I dont speak english, just because im not white. you know what, lots of people that speak slang CHOOSE to speak in that manner its not a lack of ability.


  662. Actually I think it helps to be from the cultural group being mocked. It is just more fun to mock your own. This site is funny because it is so accurate and detailed. I’d have examples from my past for about 95% of the assertions made.

    My son goes to school with bunch of expat Columbians and Venuzleans and he finds they have funny little quirks, but he can’t really pin down the details on how it all goes together and can’t mock them. He can do rich white teenagers without much trouble. My wife is from Japan so she mocks Japanese-people-things with great amusement.
    People in Japan mock Japanese stuff all the time. I mock white-people stuff with a friend of mine.

    Its not racist its cultural-stereo typing that is funny. Europeans do this really well with each other.


  663. Indian Railways is back to using the terracotta cups – “Kulhard”. And, at a price that beats all – Tea for Rs 4 (10 cents) and Coffee at Rs 5 (12.5 cents).


  664. This page is stupid.


  665. this is discrimination against white people.


  666. on May 15, 2008 at 11:38 pm alyssa Santos

    I want to be at that dinner party


  667. on May 16, 2008 at 1:39 am Dictionary Dick

    No, Josh, ‘Mick’ is (offensive) English slang for Irish.

    To us ‘Sasenachs’ (Gaelic slang for Saxons= English) the Scots are ‘Jocks’.

    Mick has nothing to do with the Gaelic patronymic Mc or Mac (which you’ll find in Irish and Manx surnames not just Scottish). It comes from the first name Michael, abbreviated to Mick.


  668. [...] favorite posts are: 1. Grammar 2. Coffee 3. Sushi 4. Michel Gondry Tagged:blog dooce humor sociology Technology white [...]


  669. on May 16, 2008 at 10:02 am nicole, rachel, and David

    Hello, our names are Nicole, Rachel, and David. Being all white, we woud liek to add a few to your list.

    White People like the idea of quakerism, golf, tennis, country clubs, and Computer Competencies.

    Thank you,

    Nicole Rachel And David


  670. I’m good at basketball, I b-boy regularly and have rhythm and hated the idea of something like coffee defining my inheritance into a culture, when other cultures have such passionate arts and music and dance. I found this homogeneous example of what white people are insufficient. I dislike the current conceptions of ‘whiteness’ because white people are a diverse group internally and all creating a page about ‘white people’ liking coffee and dinner parties is going to do is plunge white people deeper into their bland stereotype. I went out of my way to learn many Asian languages / Accents so I would not insult them by grouping them. We are more heavily grouped as white people. because we are most separated in colonial countries and most represented in colonial countries. Development of culture in a multicultural zone will not give any of the one group specificities. Especially the majority whom can’t claim anything grand to their name in case of stamping on minorities or claiming superiority over them.
    I don’t know whats good for poor people (I’m pretty broke myself), don’t like coffee, don’t have gay friends don’t care if I have some, I’m just disliking an underdeveloped non-culture representing me, bring something new to the table.


  671. Why are you so fascinated with white culture/language? being a non-white. Why are you so surprised that people who are not white are stereotyped less knowledgeable of white language and white culture? You would stereotype a white person to be unable to speak Zulu or Xhosa for example, and they could find it just as insulting when someone says “you’re so well spoken” for that language. It seems you’re thinking only in terms of your own misrepresentations as a non-white-being-white.


  672. lol


  673. You didn’t get his post at all, they said all kinds of people poke fun at white people, like the Jewish ensemble on Seinfield.

    He said White comedian’s don’t get away with poking fun at non-whites. Please read before you write jeez


  674. Yeep, I could be a different race from my own cousin because we adopt many different ‘cultural actions’ but visually we are perceived the same.


  675. That is funny!


  676. I disagree with some of what buzmav wrote.

    “because white people, after ages of disrespecting everyone on Earth”

    Many white cultures did not take part in slavery or colonialism. This is a terrible stereotype to put onto all white peoples shoulders. My ancestors were never involved in slavery but I am this Caucasian misplaced migrant we call ‘white’.

    “Plus – by doing so, white people made it impossible for other people to develop and organize naturally in their own time and territories”

    All underdevelopment world wide is at the blame of white people?! that also depends on your definition of ‘developed’

    China’s economy is developing faster than any other nation in the world currently, do white people not have as strong a grip on them as under developed countries and 3rd world countries white people are sending aid to? You can place angst on ‘whiteness’, but not on its people in general.


  677. Actually, a lot of white people are very ‘explored’ and look outside of their own culture heavily from my experience. they travel abroad constantly and love to take part in other cultural experiences, foods, language etc. Just look at which cultures performed studies of other cultures predominantly. I find a lot of non-whites more close minded.

    No one argued that white people found coffee and own the rights to drinking coffee. Its a silly representation of what white people like. Not to say others don’t enjoy it as well, lighten up!


  678. Omgosh I exploded


  679. ok i totally agree with the soy milk thing… and rice milk
    It is not milk unless it comes from a mammal
    And, everyone knows it really does taste like crap.
    Even my very-non-white husband who’s an islander agrees.

    If a person has to acquire a taste for cigarettes and coffee, then I’m thinking the same could be said for non-milk-milk-products …

    Coke and glue are both white … is this a coincidence??

    And, I personally know a group of people who have helped Ethiopians develop their own farm to export corporations and they are finally done with being monetarily raped by the middlemen, so whatever your color, it’s worth the little extra — what else are us white people really doing except talking about changing things.

    Drink up mateys.

    I am having fun reading this blog — so, so hilarious.
    And, I’m drinking coffee right this very moment, from a Disney Princess Mug — Belle, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty — all white.


  680. you sound very white by decrying your own whiteness — brilliant


  681. You’ve never seen coffee drinkers like Guatamalan children. I felt like an amateur. These kids get up on cold morning before school or work to a jug full of BLACK coffee (for each of them). Here’s whitey needing my sucky milk and sugar (after 20 years on the junk). Talk about amateurs.


  682. on May 18, 2008 at 2:25 pm haha ur not white

    god, i can tell you are not white because there are sooo many grammatical errors and spelling errors in this paragraph, that it makes me dizzy! :D


  683. on May 18, 2008 at 2:27 pm haha ur not white

    lol this is a cool website and yes,,, all white people think their children are geniuses when theyre not… im mexican and im the only student with a 4. 6 that has been at my school


  684. So not from a white person… they would know what opium is! Besides if that was true it just makes you a wigger!


  685. on May 18, 2008 at 9:37 pm Ha your Mom!

    And the rest of y’all are the tards that use it so you don’t actually have to do a research paper for coll “cough” sorry I was going to say college but seriously what was I thinking. Your right we’re bastards that like to keep really good records of stuff.


  686. and you suck dick!


  687. Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
    Truth, Equality, and Justice?

    http://www.survival-international.org


  688. I loved coffee since I got my first job ! One of my favorite things to do sit coffee shops drinking coffee, while studying Japanese and Chinese, reading comics or books.

    “I like coffee with sugar and cream.”


  689. He has topic on white people taking trips to the third world.


  690. I have brother and he is white.


  691. on May 20, 2008 at 5:36 pm a person in school

    hmm…I’ve have had coffee since the age of two for awhile now…so, is the myth about coffee stunting your growth hormones true then? If so, then that explains the shortness I’ve acquired…


  692. on May 21, 2008 at 5:38 am Read it twice

    Wow. See Grammar #99


  693. Maybe you should refer to #20…


  694. and I’m talking about the very first comment…


  695. Hilarious! My husband pretends he doesn’t like the taste of coffee and calls it crappucciono, then drinks it anyway!


  696. Does iced coffee count?

    Hey, I found some hillarious stories and video at this site you guys may like. Check it out.

    http://www.mikesthinktank.com/


  697. TIM HORTONS COFFEE RULES!!!


  698. on May 28, 2008 at 8:11 am Token White Guy

    I like to drink my coffee with two hands. does that make me gay?

    But seriously, sitting on my deck in the morning when it’s like 50 degrees with a massive and heavy clay mug of brew is pretty much the excellence. it was even better when there was a girl who would do it with me. ahh, nostalgia. “Amicable breakups” are the worst.


  699. on May 28, 2008 at 8:14 am Token White Guy

    haha. The irony. she was Filipino.

    we would have made gorgeous babies. *sigh*


  700. Very true! White people also like to correct you if you explain something in a way they don’t like.


  701. I am a white chick, and guilty of most of the behavior described in this blog.

    What does it mean that I’m actually not offended by any of this, because it’s true? How about the fact I don’t intend on changing any of it?

    I await your wanks.


  702. on May 28, 2008 at 2:31 pm non-white-person

    Obviously, they are not talking about *your* kind of white person


  703. on May 28, 2008 at 2:33 pm non-white-person

    Blanca – that’s so white hee! hee!
    the correcting thing, and the name thing


  704. on May 28, 2008 at 2:36 pm non-white-person

    oh goad! didn’t you read? white people like people to make fun of them because it shows they are (their?) superior because they can laugh (that’s larf) at themselves, I mean, theirselves.


  705. on May 28, 2008 at 2:38 pm non-white-person

    of course dahrling! we wouldn’t want you to catch any of those nasty non-white diseases traveling to palces where they haven’t eliminated salmonella or e-coli


  706. on May 28, 2008 at 2:45 pm non-white-person

    why did you give it back?


  707. [...] to point out how this article highlights three items from Stuff White People Like: #97 Scarves, #1 Coffee and #101 Being [...]


  708. I think white people just like to be seen in coffee houses, it’s not about the drinking of coffee, they like to be seen sitting outside of coffee houses holding a book open that they never really read, they want to make sure people see them and think they are reading, it makes coffee house sitters feel somewhat intellectual


  709. I noticed in the last paragraph of your post that the word “whats” is missing an apostrophe.

    Keep this in mind, as stated clearly in post No. 99 (Grammar):

    “Do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction.”


  710. Weird. I’m white but I hate coffee, but I love fried chicken and watermelon. Perhaps one of my ancestors was a cotton-picking negro slave.


  711. It is . . .

    1. A precise explanation
    2. Steeped in multiculturalism
    3. About coffee

    THAT’S what


  712. Now South Americans and those from the Carribbean love coffee and cigars. Dow that make them white? And while you are at it, how come you have not included cigars as stuff that white people like?


  713. on June 1, 2008 at 8:21 am Professor Chaos

    Coffee is brown.


  714. on June 1, 2008 at 10:16 am LvL ?? Assassin

    I’m white, I hate coffee. Don’t ever want to drink it.


  715. Just fort he record, I do call it “coffee” I fall into the rest of the stereotypes though…

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/


  716. on June 4, 2008 at 1:00 am Sweet Action

    Another perfect example of how whites enjoy being indignant! They defend themselves from the stereotypes and fail to note that the site is a satire! It’s phenomenal! FYI: I’m white! This site is hilarious! Not to mention true!


  717. actually in Yemen – by a goat herder who noticed his goats getting hyper after eating berries from a tree (coffee berries before they are dried and beans are exposed).


  718. I totally cop to being one of those “fair trade” coffee drinkers and actually emailed my boss this morning that if I sound confused it’s only b/c I only have 16 oz of fuel in me this morning. I shall hang my head in shame, using the scarf that’s wrapped around my neck for that warm summer breeze.


  719. on June 5, 2008 at 1:21 pm newly converted

    that’s so true. I also judge people harshly if they’re too wordy.


  720. on June 5, 2008 at 1:23 pm newly converted

    nah, i’d just drink coffee while snorting cocaine.


  721. on June 5, 2008 at 1:29 pm newly converted

    bull shiite. people axing questions isn’t a choice. they’re retards who don’t know how to speak the english.


  722. on June 5, 2008 at 1:31 pm newly converted

    your momma.


  723. on June 5, 2008 at 1:32 pm newly converted

    i think i hear satire! but you can see it if you want.


  724. on June 5, 2008 at 1:34 pm newly converted

    anonymous, r u replying to yourself? WTF????


  725. on June 5, 2008 at 1:38 pm newly converted

    am i the only person, besides ALL my black friends, who thinks there’s only ONE race: the human race?????


  726. on June 5, 2008 at 1:39 pm newly converted

    they were white people making fun of white people. and yes they were hysterical.


  727. on June 5, 2008 at 6:04 pm newly converted

    you know i can look things up on wikipedia too. i choose not to. i’d rather sit here and drink my red wine.


  728. on June 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm newly converted

    not a big miles fan. and i don’t think i’ve ever called it a “cup of joe”. where r u from? new jersey?


  729. on June 5, 2008 at 6:21 pm newly converted

    race is a social construct invented by societies that want to keep people in their place. AND WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH COFFEE.


  730. Lived there – and they have great coffee houses. (Photo from one… http://moourl.com/vki2o). Internet Cafe’s are popular all over the Horn, too.

    … and in Ethiopia they say coffee was discovered by goats – not “people of color.”


  731. Turkish coffee is good – but it was Yemen who started brewing the stuff and brought the plants to the Arab world. My favorite so far was in Sumatra – but getting beans roasted table side at a cafe in Yemen is nothing like the crap you can get imported here.


  732. white people love coffee and most prefer it black.


  733. on June 7, 2008 at 4:30 pm The Wrong Kind of White Guy

    That, my friend, is called “the soft bigotry of low expectations.”

    Oh, and since I’m so very white, even if The Wrong Kind, I can’t let this pass without pointing out to you that the word you were looking for is “you’re”, not “your.” No White Person of Any Kind would ever dream of patronizing you with a comment like “Hey, good job your not a failure like all those other nonwhites!” It simply isn’t cricket!


  734. If you can’t be clever or funny, you still don’t have to be rude of other people’s faith.


  735. actually, coffee originated in modern day Yemen and was distributed throughout the ottoman empire


  736. This has to be the whitest thing I’ve ever read.


  737. ^^^ Run On Sentence ^^^

    ^ Sentence Fragment ^


  738. I love you <3


  739. this whole site is so anti-white and anti-american. thats racism. racists


  740. I got one for ya….white people LOVE to boast about how busy they are. Its like a contest. The busier more tired more over worked person wins!!


  741. That whole first sentence needs some grammatic attention. Is it a rhetorical question? What is your intention? Peace Out.


  742. don’t forget your ritalin :) white people like pharmaceutical drugs a LOT.


  743. Arabia? can you point to that on a map, because I have never heard of “Arabia.” I suppose you missed that geography lesson . . .


  744. How many of you other white people read the korean post out loud with an accent? this is so funny………


  745. Actually, we (US) get most of our oil from Texas, where white people like to wear cowboy hats and square dance. I have never seen a non-caucasian person square dancing.


  746. Watch the Bucket list and you make have a different view on the origins of Coffee lol.. That being said I am a sucker for a white Mocha!

    Chris

    http://www.thevisitingbrit.com


  747. The Yemenis would disagree with you over who discovered and disseminated coffee.


  748. this website should be called stuffliberalwhitepeople like. every topic defines what liberal white people are. too funny.


  749. There must be some mistake. I was born in India and am a sucker for coffee :-)


  750. Oh but this blog is not about stuffonlywhitepeoplelike :-)


  751. on June 19, 2008 at 11:50 pm Pedantry a go-go

    oh please – the term Arabia refers to the Arabian Peninsula, that thing that sticks out into the Indian Ocean including Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman etc. And yes, I learnt that in geography class


  752. Yo, Jenn! This comment sounds like you resent busy, working white people. Guess the white ones DO win, based upon your own rationale! Remember to think BEFORE you write (or speak) so you can realize how ridiculous you sound, REGARDLESS of your ethnicity.


  753. Ugh, coffee makes me sick. Nothing I hate more than coffee. Tea, yes. Oh, and gee, I’m white. I guess I’m an anomaly then. Chai…. mmmmm.


  754. on June 26, 2008 at 11:10 am my phat fucking cock-asian ass.

    Your blog is fucking stupid.

    you hang out with perez hilton, don’t you?


  755. I’d like to make this thread just a little whiter. (Note my use of MLA conventions—unfortunately I am not a member, although joining it might move my whiteness-level into the stratosphere.)
    The etymology of the word “coffee” is as follows: “Alteration (influenced by Italian caffè, from Turkish) of Ottoman Turkish qahveh, from Arabic qahwa.”*

    *“Coffee.” Etymology. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. 4th ed. 2000.


  756. Its called dry humor


  757. this is a rag on white hippie yuppies, nothing more, nothing less… people who experienced JFK, Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy’s assasination, and Vietnam.

    And then were forced to find out how truly uneducated this country is because it elected Ronald Reagan. Twice.


  758. Haha


  759. hahaha so true. so true. This is hilarious. I am white and I truly do like 99% of this stuff 1% is the white in me trying to be original so probably 100% of this stuff. Oh stereotypes. hahaha. they are said to be so bad but, for me I find them so true on many levels, and not just for whites.

    one I haven’t seen yet but applies to most every white person I know is that they love to love things.

    “O-M-G, I LOVE starbucks!”
    “Omgosh I love you for loving starbucks!”

    Everything needs to end in something short but cute.

    love ya betch

    I LOVE YOU SWEET

    and with friends boyfriends girlfriends whatever

    you always have cute pet names of funny “inside joke” nicknames.

    INSIDE JOKES ARE A MUST!
    IF YOU HAVE SOME WITH TONS OF PEOPLE YOU ARE THE SHIT!


  760. oh and we use a lot of cliche’s

    and for some reason most of us like to be the “ditzy blond moment filled person” if you fall (even can pull of a fake fall) you are a clutz and loved for it. Same with if your a ditz 86% of white people find ditz hilarious and always love to have funny stories about them.

    story telling is awesome. You love to talk about yourself and let everyone know how silly and funny you really are.


  761. holy mofo. I didn’t even realize no joke how I just used like 300 statistics!

    we also love to say like and over exaggerate.
    ^
    theres some of that loving I’m talking about.


  762. I like my coffee just like I like my women: strong, black, and bitter.


  763. I like coffe but decaf only, I tried some herbal tea it was great, I got it at http://www.revoint.com


  764. Golly gosh this is true! You do not want to see two plums before their morning coffee! :) Cheers.


  765. Fair Trade Coffee does not cost more in most coffee shops. And if there is a price increase, it is negligible.


  766. “Guilty!!!!!” (said in a high pitched, sing song, gay voice) except for starbucks because apparently they are evil like walmart.


  767. I am white. I hate white people. Does that make me a racist?


  768. Coffee gives me the shits. I only drink coffee if I want to stay up all night and be paranoid and depressed and make multiple trips to the crapper.

    Black teas with caffiene are great- not so much for their cultural significance, but for the fact that you only shit once after drinking it, and it’s the best shit you’ll have all day.


  769. on July 2, 2008 at 6:32 pm Ryan Beckett

    Caffeine raises your heart rate, and its a diuretic, so its a cause of pooping. Ha. Black tea is so much better for the heart.


  770. Black People Like coffee to ; however the $5.00 Starbucks cup is for the birds.


  771. It should also be noted that white people will kill for anything with an italian name. You can call a regular coffee a “grande americano” and mark up the price $3. (see Starbucks). Also if it’s a machiatto the white people will flock to your store. This is because it helps them feel like they are being “diverse”. The best way to use this to your advantage is to ask a white person their favourite drink at starbucks. Once they have told you ask them how they came to like it. It will more often then not involve them traveling to europe and having an “authentic . At the end of the story you must state your own intentions to tour europe and enjoy authentic beverages. Once you have done this the white person’s respect for you will sky rocket.
    If they are advanced white people, they will order biscotti with their grande wet half-caf soy fair trade cafe americano.


  772. White people in Seattle don’t like Starbucks anymore. Now it’s way cooler to have a favorite independent coffee stand or cafe.


  773. Get a life – ever hear of “tongue in cheek”? This is a fun website and i don’t think ever intended to do anything but poke fun at “white people:. I believe the “whites” that read it. are there for laughs about themselves.


  774. wordpress? I don’t think anyone with a brain believes the prejudiced, unproven stuff you throw around like truth – talk about abnoxious – wordpress fits the bill
    Kit


  775. and also with the rising popularity of starbucks, caffeine is actually filtering down into the larger bodies of water and getting to the fish. some study was done where they examined a bunch of seafood and found caffeine in all the fish


  776. Some people give too much information!


  777. [...] Coffee My tenants most certainly love coffee. They often meet up with friends by saying things like, [...]


  778. It’s so true!

    My person favorite is an “Ejacuallato”. It’s a long (or short) black (or white) with an extra spurt of cream.

    Feel free to start slotting that into everyday conversations . . .


  779. on July 7, 2008 at 4:43 am The white guy with dreads

    I prefer herbal tea’s too start my day my favorite http://www.revoint.com


  780. “White people in Seattle………”!?! Isn’t that redundant?


  781. This is a trend started by Otto in “A Fish Called Wanda,” my personal favorite comedy of all time.


  782. I don’t see an issue here. As a busy white professional (is there any other kind?) I would welcome the time saved by getting dinner and a coffee break out of the way at the same time. This is, I think, a good thing.


  783. that is so true! I think the main reason white people like coffee so much isn’t because of the coffee; it’s because of the coffee creamers. It can’t be plain creamer though, it has to be a special flavor such as “French Vanilla”, or “Caramel Nut”, or “Warm Pecan”


  784. Starbucks is as evil as my boss.


  785. The problem with the post is that it didn’t mention mug size.

    You can’t drink coffee out of one of those tiny 6 oz cups that they assume on a coffee pot. Even 8oz and 12oz cups are too small.

    A proper mug for a white person must be no less than 16 oz and the bigger the better. It should have some sort of artsy design or witty/erudite saying. Colors are a definite must and the harder it is to hold and to drink from, the better.

    For cups to go, you must not use a word as crass as “large.” Venti and Grandisimo are acceptable, however. It should be paper, not styrofoam, because styrofoam isn’t environmentally friendly. The holder for the cup can be styrofoam, however.


  786. Ya know, come out with “Stuff Black People Like” and start listing crack and malt liquor. Then just watch the lawsuit fly.
    Its a double standard and its really lame.


  787. Yes – the coffee CUP itself is very important! Personally, I’m lusting after a coworker’s cup. It is bright RED, and in huge letters, it simply says “READ.” Such a cup shows that the owner is literate and knows what’s important.

    A coveted coffee cup for Canadians is the CBC Radio mug. It informs all onlookers that the owner is highly intelligent, educated and discriminating; after all, he/she eshews commercial radio in favour of Public Radio! Furthermore, he/she may have won said mug by calling in to CBC Radio and answering a challenging question on current events! This certainly adds further prestige.

    Finally, coffee cups that proudly display the names of universities, (such as my Universitee Laval cup), are good, too, (for the above-mentioned reasons).

    Ah, yes… the coffee cup. Reason enough to drink coffee!


  788. on July 9, 2008 at 6:00 am mr_wowtrousers

    Right on, brother! I am so white that you can see my beating heart, like a newborn baby fish, and I *love* crack and 40′s!


  789. I once heard a black man call it nectar of the gods. I think he may be white on the inside.


  790. lob. White people love to talk about the double standard that goes on here. Its another one of our “priviliges”. Oh, and the site would also have to be called “Stuff African American People Like.” Get it right.


  791. ok, READ. He said what’s WRONG WITH opium. What’s a wigger? Also, why do ya have ta resort to name calling? Just not necessary. SO glad we are NOT all alike.


  792. on July 9, 2008 at 3:06 pm jamietoronto

    As a Canadian, I have to agree with Nikki.

    TIM HORTONS IS THE BEST!

    There is nothing I love more than my time when I sit down in the mornings and drink coffee and listen to Opie and Anthony. Both things white people love.


  793. I don’t even think it’s really about the coffee anymore. I think white people (and I’m basing this only on myself) care more about the idea of coffee than the coffee itself. As delicious as the MacDonald’s iced coffee may be, the unsightly golden arches cup just isn’t pretentious enough for me to be carrying around.

    http://twowhiteboys.com/2008/


  794. coffee
    - I love it! Black, white, 2 teaspoons of sugar, no sugar at all. Free trade is not worth the extra $. You lose some of the flavour, no sweat of the workers to give it that extra musky taste.

    and another thing……

    Juno
    - Children should be seen & not heard, relentlessly…on.. & on…Lord give me strength!

    Rugby
    - Is stupid but Aussie Rules, RULES!!!! Bulldogs looking good for a top 4 finish this September.

    Dogs
    - I can’t help it, I love my smookie, nookie, beautiful baby boxer. Shit, I am white!


  795. [...] now includes one of these espresso machines. I enjoy shiny things and it helps me remember my ethnicity but most importantly it provides the starting point (mercifully not “grounds”) for some [...]


  796. The coffee shop nearest to my house has managed to combine several of these items from your list. They feature a small live band on certain nights, and offer several board games to be played on their large round tables either inside or outside, or you can borrow one of their books some very thoughtful customers have left behind. You can sign up for their weekly newsletter, and use your store card to rack up a free coffee (purchase 10, get 1 free). The card also allows you to use their “curb-side service” so you can call in your order when you’re in a hurry, and they’ll run it out to your car when you pull into the designated parking spot for this service. Hopefully, you’ll be seen by a neighbor or co-worker who will recognize your dedication for being on-time/ early to work. I will also admit to coveting their t-shirts and coffee canisters, but it’s only got the store name on them, nothing intelligent or artsy, which has kept me from buying them… for now!


  797. Just about all commercially roasted coffee is crap. Actually, a bag of coffee from a low-cost pseudo-wholesaler contained a piece of roasted cow crap, which broke the grinder. That’s why I roast my own. Look it up, buy a roaster, buy the green beans, and roast your own coffee. It’s as easy as making popcorn.


  798. You are hard-core white, man! lol.


  799. Can’t. Wake. Up. Must. Have. Drugs.


  800. See, most normal folks would call that good customer service , a quality product and attention to detail.

    I guess non-white people just dunk black crayons in ditch water that they cup to their chapped lips with one hand while they furiosly masturbate with the other like a spider monkey on the side of the road.


  801. Look, I have to say this, and yes I am so white that you can see my heart beating, like a newborn baby fish.

    Are you ready for this?

    North Americans, your “coffee” sucks. It does. It is just plain flat out shit. You might think it’s good. You might think Starbucks is “da bomb”. You might thing Tim Horton’s drinks a really good Cup o Joe, but really truly and seriously, it’s just not. It’s like anaemic brown water with lots of sugar in it.

    I don’t say this out of spite, but out of love. Go travelling. Do the White Person travelling thingy from this website if you have to. Eat and drink in different countries. Never go back to how you were before. You were blind, but you shall see.


  802. All right, Fossil Bob, where’s your highest rated coffee? It’s so doggone easy to shred anonymously, but bring something too!

    The best coffee I ever had was some brew I drank in February and March. It was coffee I bought directly in Jamaica. JaBlum, Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee – it costs something like $50-75 to import it back here, but I bought a 2 lb. bag for $15. If I’d have known it was so good, I would have bought a heck of a lot more.


  803. [...] good news, if you’re into that sorta “stuff”, coffee and Apple products [...]


  804. I wish they sold Starbucks at IKEA.


  805. Fuck Second Cup and Coffee Bean. I’ll I drink is Starbucks. That might just be because I live in Seattle though.


  806. What a great thing to say.


  807. gives me the shits


  808. Starbuck coffee sucks. It might be better than instant maxwell house but it is still pretty lame.


  809. And, let’s not forget, EWP like fair trade, organic coffee!!


  810. Ive come on this to the conclusion that the reason white people like all of the shit on this website is the following:
    If you got it like that why not experience more with your life.
    Shit I golf, snowboard, rockclimb, mountain bike, live in manhattan, drive a fat asS bmw suv, fuck asian women, have plenty of black friends, got sweaters and motherfuckin t-shirts that I’LL wear on a plane to San FraCisco if I damn well fell like it. Shit Ill Even invite my lawyer to my beach house on a sunday for coffee while we read the fuckin New York Times. Yes the Liberal rag that sweats Barack Obama. After that we will indulge in some microbrews on my vintage sail boat.

    When I get Bored ill travel the fuck where I want probably to snowboard somewhere usually Utah the whitest fuckin state there is. Ill take in some wine before I watch a film at sundance while I am there.

    Just for a challenge I will go to a farmers market get some organic shit go home and order some sushi. You see I am trying to get in shape to run a fuckin marathon. After I finish the first thing I am going to do is shut of my i-pod loaded with free music, grab some bottled water and spark a fat mother fuckin spliff!!!!

    YEAH I LOVE BEING AWARE OF DIVERSITY.

    HOWEVER THE IRONY OF THIS WHOLE THING IS BEING WHITE FOR ME ONLY FOR ME!!! kICKS BIGTIME ASS!!


  811. on July 16, 2008 at 1:42 pm Gordon R Ferguson

    The differenced between “good coffee” and “bad
    coffee is a matter of personal taste. Duh!


  812. So true. I love the blue mountain coffee, and it goes great with Appleton Estate Rum. Live happy: Drink plenty of both.


  813. White Power!


  814. Crack addict?


  815. Anyways OpenMind please stop posting!

    I think the reason why people pay extra is because they think they are getting what they are paying for: high quality stuff in reality thats not always the case.

    I so agree with you on the coffee and cigarrettes thing! Why else would somebody start smoking but to “look” and “be” cool? I mean they’re coughing and possibly feeling sick but they do it anyway because everyone else is doing it.

    Same with coffee, I assume they get a nasty taste in their mouth and it tastes like butt but they do it anyway so they can start hanging out in cafes, drinking it in the mornings so they can start saying things like “I just woke up, I need a cup of coffee” or… “You just called me while I was making my morning coffee”.. Possibly they might do it when somebody else asks them coffee they can be “How do you like it? I like mine ……” Who knows but some people have always loved coffee lol but your right some people try to get accustomed to the taste and then love it

    I’m sure youve already added the post of pizza and cheeseburgers? Because that so needs to be on here lol


  816. I agree with bob_fossil. The coffee in Germany and Austria far outmatches anything you can get in the US. It’s so much better you don’t need to put cream, milk, sugar, or anything else into it to kill the taste. In England and Ireland they put lots of milk and sugar in their coffee, which, in my opinion, makes it undrinkable. Maybe that’s why they prefer tea. I’m assuming the Scots drink tea, too. I never went there, so I don’t know. And no, I am not your typical yuppie liberal white person who can afford all that travel. I actually had a full-time job in Germany some years ago before the fall of the Berlin Wall. Even low-level boarding house coffee was better than anything I could get in the US.


  817. Errr, no it’s not. Thank you for playing “I Don’t Know What I Am Talking About.”


  818. Best I have had this year is Kopi Luwak in Vietnam. It sounds pretty gross, but helluva cup o joe. Something like $100/100gm but obviously a lot cheaper in Vietnam.


  819. on July 20, 2008 at 6:47 pm The white guy with dreads

    Yea I need my cup of joe in the moring and then I turn too http://www.revoint.com


  820. on July 21, 2008 at 7:30 am Blackandproud

    I looooove coffee, always have and always will. Ever since I was a chubby little man on my mommy’s lap, I loved me some coffee. “Just rub it on my gums, mommy!” I’d beg. Mmmmmm cofffeeeeeee.


  821. Hey now-I loved my first cigarette.
    And I drink my coffee black.
    And fuck starbucks.


  822. So true! I’m a (really white :) norwegian who used to *hate* coffee. Norwegian coffee is very similar to that of North America. I lived five years in Canada in the 90s and still hated coffee. Then, I went on vacation to Italy. I stayed in a cute B&B in Tuscany operated by this cute old lady. Breakfast was basically fresh (Bialetti) coffee with warm milk. Wow! It tasted fantastic! Now I cannot function without my shot of Bialetti (using ITALIAN coffee, of course)in the morning :). Unfortunately, north-american coffee still tastes rather bad to me (it’s like some sour, brown watery stuff).


  823. i love coffee, and the fair trade stuff is awesome, i like paying more for it, not because it is making a difference in the world “cause it is not”. for the better taste and it doesnt give me diahrea when i drink it black like timmies. if i could get out to the big stop every morning i would cause that has the very best coffee in the world, and i have tasted coffee from all around the world; Ethiopia has the very best i have ever had even sneaked a couple Kg across on the flight.
    back to the topic at hand coffee is the greatest thing white people have stolen from other cultures and i am proud of it!


  824. man you need to get you act together man, you saying this on a public web forum is about as smart as rolling a joint in front of a cop…. and rap music has gone down hill and shows no signs of gaining any more “smart-ed-ness” any time soon.
    If you want pot legal go get out and preform some clinical trials to prove there is no ill effects of its use, or get a petition going, or better yet VOTE. you can only change the system by participating in it!


  825. your just the worst type of people, please try and not betray your self induced retardation.


  826. your very right there Ashley, people do pay more thinking they’re getting quality when that is not all ways the case, and that’s true for many different things too.
    i guess that’s why there is so many jobs in advertising.
    but c’mon smoking to be cool, its just mimicry for the most part. it’s easy to pass traits on to kids. damn hard not too.
    drinking coffee so you can hang out in cafes, that’s laughable. you drink it so you can stay on your feet.
    mostly.
    and it tastes good.
    mostly.

    eventually.


  827. Acctually Chileans (south america) are the first to drink coffee. Since I was a little kid my grandpa would serve me cafe con leche that’s coffee with warm milk and sugar, while white kids aren’t allowed to drink coffee till they are “old enough”. ;) Your point on stuff white people like seems to me to be more a what a urban young hipster likes, ah um yuppie maybe also, left oriented middle class youth. My two cents.


  828. “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.”

    I hate it when people say that, lol. Funny blog, by the way.


  829. Color me white, I love coffee and I always have…funny blog. I fucking hate Apple computers.


  830. Shouldn’t #1 on the list of ‘Stuff White People Like’ be oh I dunno..BLOGGING!!?? blogblogblogblogblog good god I really hate the word blog


  831. holy shit manofgod…2 hallmarks of Whiteness are in your comment. #1: Using something random to tell people about your ‘travels’. I don’t care that you’ve been to fuckin Ethiopia, dude. #2: Admitting that white people have ‘stolen’ something from another culture, in a ‘but hey, whatareyougonnado?’ type of way. Honkies love that shit.


  832. that’s pretty much amazing. i definitely love coffee but hated it when i first started drinking it.

    btw another thing white people love (i don’t know if you’ve already posted about this or not yet but i’ll say it anyways) is using im language. i.e.: omg, ttyl, btw, idk, rofl, etc. etc. etc.

    oh we also like living our lives by cliches or old myths. for example: drinking coffee stunts your growth.


  833. Yeah, man…there was this white dude that got me hooked on the stuff. Oh sure, it started out innocent enough, a cup here, a gallon there…

    Soon enough, I was hanging out at the backdoor of the local coffee shop…I think the name of it was… THE LOCAL COFFEE SHOP…Anyway, I would bum all the empty bags to make me a cup or…12.

    Shortly after that, I DISCOVERED that if I walked around to the FRONT door…and actually entered the joint…they’d SELL it to me…COOOOOOL!!!!!


  834. on July 27, 2008 at 6:39 am The white guy with dreads

    I HAVE TO HAVE MY DAMM COFFEE NOW , aahhh yes now I can finish blogging but first go to http://www.revoint.com and get some cool s–t.


  835. You are dumb.


  836. I’m white, and I <3 Coffee. lolz.


  837. i prefer tea


  838. on July 29, 2008 at 5:08 am sailingcraftylady

    Coffee is the biggest time waster white man invented! Everything must stop for coffee in the morning, coffee break at work, the second cup at lunch, afternoon coffee break, coffee after dinner… All day long coffee, coffee coffee!
    Also the biggest thing coffee drinkers gripe about is the cooffee. After that forst sip, they complain it is too strong, too weak, too bitter, too hot, too cold.. then they continue to drink it and have a second cup!
    crazy!


  839. on July 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm random post

    How did flip flops not make this list!!!!!!


  840. [...] “Number 40: Apple Products”. I then preceded to knock over my cup of java when I saw “Number 1: Coffee” and then “Number 3: Film Festivals”. Further readings of the list nailed me on my [...]


  841. [...] #1 Coffee Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Governing in Black and WhiteObama not closing racial divide: pollFree Bon Jovi tickets for sale on the black market This entry was written by undercoverblackman and posted on July 22, 2008 at 5:27 pm and filed under Commercial Black Journalism, Stuffwhitepeoplelike, commercial blacks, david mills, undercoverblackman with tags clander, david mills, larry elder, michelle malkin, Stuffwhitepeoplelike, undercoverblackman. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL. « Stuffwhitepeoplelike: Undercoverblackman [...]


  842. I love coffee and I don’t care who knows it….

    I started drinking it when I was 15 for the caffeine rush; and lest you think I became a coffee snob overnight; I drank instant Folgers with powered creamer and to make it drinkable I’d add a package of instant cocoa. (Nope, didn’t know anything about mochas back then–I just wanted to be able to drink it. Instant coffee is vile stuff.)

    Over the years I HAVE developed a real love for it and yes, my day doesn’t start without it.

    And no, I don’t drink instant anymore.


  843. seriously!!! i wear them ALWAYS!! even during Christmas! and this whole thing made me realize just how friggin white I really am.


  844. That is exactly when and how I started drinking coffee. and now I shell out the extra 2 bucks for fair trade Mayorga coffee. It is delicious.


  845. wow, I just realiezed how white I really am! I’ve been teased by my cousins all my life on “you’re such a white girl,” yet I’m hispanic with a brooklyn accent. lol

    I love practically everything on this list except the fucking asian chicks.


  846. I prefer the unfair trade coffee’s, but I think that might define me trading w/ Starbucks at $4 a cup.


  847. Wow. I have been drinking coffee since I was… two. No joke. and I liked it right away. But… I’m hispanic!


  848. I’m south azn. milk tea only bitches.


  849. HAHAHAHA! Good question… although it seems every culture is into those- ‘specially Italian “Ginos”, they like to wear socks with them though, or wait am I thinking Nike rubber sports sandals? In any case TOO MANY guys with gross feet wear flip-flops.


  850. lol!! This is so true.
    Not only am I addicted to coffee, but I work at a coffee shop and everyone wants either our Fair Trade or Organic coffee.


  851. YES! That is all I have to say.


  852. But most white people I know will avoid Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, which of course is preferred by people in second-tier suburbs and by dads who get in fights with other dads at their sons’ hockey games.

    ****************
    http://meadonmanhattan.wordpress.com/


  853. Gut fuel.

    And Tim Hortons > Starbucks or whatever the fuck you Americans drink.


  854. I really don’t get this one- most of the people I know drink coffee, no matter what race they are. Fancy coffee is for the upper middle class (black or white), plain coffee for the lower middle class. I don’t think race enters into it.


  855. I hope that SWPL will publish the complete rules of food holiness. It is not enough to like coffee. One must only like fair traded coffee. ($3.00 a cup? What’s fair about that?)
    The same is true for lettuce, fruits, etc. They can only be from food-holy safe places and sold at holy food stores. Just thinking of waiting in line for twenty minutes to check out two items as a sacramental visitation.


  856. i dont like coffee..and i am white! (i drink tea)


  857. [...] White People Like lists things that upper/middle-class white people like or take pride in, such as drinking coffee and New Balance shoes.  The site is not used to imply racism but rather allow people to laugh at [...]


  858. on August 3, 2008 at 2:53 pm Hadley Stone

    I prefer unfair-traded drenched in pesticides.


  859. No. 1 should be “Hate on other White People” because white people love to show the world that they know how racist white people are but aren’t racist themselves. These white people do white people stuff but look around at the other white people doing the same stuff and think about how much white people suck. They think “Man white people suck but I don’t because I know they suck therefore I can’t suck because I’m aware of the suckiness of white people.” They rip on white people listening to white music and being lame and wearing the same clothes but would bite their tongues if they saw strong similarities among concertgoers at a Mos Def or Nelly or 50 Cent show. Then they start lame ass blogs and waste time typing meaningless shit about the Lame Ass White People, thinking all the time how insightful we must be to put such self-examination on display for all to see. Those fucking white people. Even when they know they suffer from irrational guilt they still behave irrationally.


  860. maybe someone forgot to tell you, but lesbians have a different blog site.


  861. if im not mistaken tea was on the list also!!!!


  862. Most of the stuff here is true. I’m a hispanic living in Houston but whenever I go into a Starbucks I feel so out of place like I was just teleported to Ohio or Massachussetts and most white people usually order something along the lines of a grande caramel latte with a vitamin boost and a shot of wheat grass juice. If you’re gonna go to a coffee house, order a hot coffee white people, not to be mean or racist but if I go to a coffee house I go because I want a friggin’ coffee, not a tea or a coffee with boosts of this or shots of that. The caffeine should be more than enough for you. I can’t hate on the caramel frappachino though. That is a good drink


  863. bummer.


  864. on August 4, 2008 at 2:05 pm GuyIncognito

    I don’t know too many white people who enjoy coffee, but I have yet to meet one who can turn down a frappa-mocha-freezy-chino, or whatever the hell they call that crap that Starbucks sells.


  865. on August 4, 2008 at 4:55 pm Garey Jonson

    Regarding Mr. Adrian’s inspiring comments, and having just discovered this site and “What God Hates” – actually funnier than this site – I must share the following with you.

    Being a former teacher and school administrator turned Truck Driver – long haul – and having just got back from a flat-deck haul to not so friendly Houston Texas, I was just at a Starbucks and to my surprise, the friendliest, most curteous people were without exception anyone I met who was Hispanic……

    So many White People were either unfriendly/downright rude or terrified of my well behaved dog that accompanied me on my 36 day long trek throughout your Excited States of Amurica.

    At Starbucks and so many other places, in unfriendly Houston, if it wasn’t for polite Hispanics making up for rude Whitey’s then the rejection and fear of my dog would have been intolerable.

    At one Starbuck’s table, seven White Boys looked at me and my dog, as we slowly approached to ask directions, only to be strongly told, ” We are not comfortable with your dog being off its leash”

    And with impecable smug White Man humour I said something like…..” The odds of me biting you are far more liklely”……my charm won him over……..

    From a White Canajun…..” Hooray for Hispanics”……they appear to be bringing White Amurica some good manners.

    PS. Good thing Starbucks is going down the dumpster…..most of their coffee is too strong, pretentious and over-priced……mellow is magnificent

    PPS. Trashing such a White Corporation as Starbuck’s is just one of those White “Feel Good” activities.


  866. You ARE making a difference when buying anything Fair Trade! Don’t get me started on the evil corporations and how offended I am by the victimization of other races.

    I’ve got my New Balances on and my outdoor performance gear. I’m gonna listen to some pirated music on my iPod, run to a nearby Starbucks, brush back my bangs, and buy the new Obama bumpersticker!

    Being white is great.

    High Five!


  867. To brave Shawna……

    Yay…..another true Whitey crawling out of the closet……

    “White and proud” ??


  868. no but he is prolly right about fair trade


  869. I disagree. I go to a coffee house to get the fancy drinks. Otherwise I can drink black coffee at home. That’s what these specialty stores are for. Welcome to America.


  870. Coffee > *

    Black Gold, Java, whatever. I drank coffee at 12 and never looked back. I was hooked. I guess you could say ‘literally’.
    Now I get the dreaded “caffeine headache” if I don’t get a cup in the morning.


  871. You sound just like my friend who recently moved to Chicago. Did you go to NMU?


  872. FYI,
    not ALL whites cater to overrated coffee house chains.
    I would sooner burn down a starbucks then be caught dead in one.

    And I never drink Joe, Java, Black Gold or any other ignorant nickname attached to the beverage by marketing teams.
    I drink Coffee, and I drink it black.

    No Cream, No Expresso Shot, no sugar, No BullShit.


  873. on August 5, 2008 at 9:18 am Michael the Psycho

    Good man.


  874. on August 5, 2008 at 9:20 am Michael the Psycho

    Shawna sounds like a she to me, friend. *gasp* I’m so white! But no, I’m not white, I’m Asian. It just so happens, I’m that “Texan” Asian, even though I come from Kansas.


  875. Just a good old cracker & proud of it!!!


  876. You must be gay or a hippie

    How are we supposed to lure the Columbians away from selling all those illegal drugs, if we can’t help them raise the prices and profits of the legal ones dammit?

    You get your ass some overpriced coffee STAT and help fight the war on drugs – the price war that is…

    PRICE CHECK ON AISLE 5…


  877. High Five!

    It’s time to get high!

    If its wrong to be White with all the Might, I don’t wanna be right.

    Although I would give my left foot for the ability to carry a tune or have any rythm…


  878. on August 5, 2008 at 12:01 pm crackerbarrel

    So you lik eyour coffee like your women….black and strong?


  879. lol. so true :D i was drinkin coffee in grd 2 ! and yes i do love starbuck effin alot and tims :P nothing eles thou… im drinking a frappuccino at the moment actally. :)


  880. on August 5, 2008 at 1:24 pm Farty McTwinklenutz

    I’m not even a human and I love coffee!


  881. This site is hilarious! Another thing (some of) us white people love is humorous mockery. :-).. Now where’s
    my Java?


  882. You’re not really important unless it’s shade grown fair trade coffee.


  883. Wow. You’re cool.


  884. Right on!


  885. On the subject of nice hispanics–as a hispanic born elsewhere and raised here since I was 14–I have an observation to make.
    First-Gen Hispanics (raised at least for their formative years in another country) will grow up to be significantly nicer and much more respectful than their “Americanized”–hate the term–counterparts. Kids, teens, and young adults raised here seem to have caught on to that whole “I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread and it should be a PRIVILEGE for you to do things for me” that I’ve observed absent from freshly arrived, baddly dressed (a lifetime of school uniforms did that to me) and more amiable hispanics.
    “Americanized” (again hate the term) hispanics tick me off. I wonder how they got that way… must be all that coffee…
    Hope I didn’t offend all the Hispanics like me who visit this site. Sorry, you two.


  886. I know what white people like.
    White people, like, suck


  887. bitch please, how would u know if i was a lesbian or not? get some business


  888. Yes the Puerto Rican that I am. I hate Spanish coffee, especially “Cafe Buestello”. Yes I like Starbucks , but my favorite is Folgers and Maxwell House.


  889. It seems white people of today are self loathing and want to self desruct. White people act so smart and knowledgeable yet they fail to realize that they are not the first or only group of people to ever enslave another group or conquer other lands although whites did take it to an unpresidented level.


  890. Being white I agree that whitesters really love coffee and all coffee accessories. I mean some whites even buy their own coffee bean roasters!


  891. at least whites can spell unprecedented .


  892. I know, it’s so weird. Stereotypes of other races are always 100% accurate to everyone. How could the author possibly allow a fallacy like this in the case of stereotyping white people. It’s a disgrace to the website.


  893. Teachers love coffee. Teachers also love having sex with 14-year olds. Check it out below:

    http://detentionslip.org


  894. I bet Dan Quail couldn’t spell it :)-


  895. You know what, I love this blog. I see my(white)self in lots of this stuff, but seems like some stuff is hit or miss and maybe ‘stuff white people’ is a misnomer. I work at an company that is extremely diverse and what I’ve noticed is that the Coffee, Prius, Apple-loving crowd has no race. Preteniousness is universal, at least in So Cal. Thesis: Mainstream/predominant culture is really whats on trial, but the thinking seems to be this:

    White people are the majority i.e. Mainstream,
    Mainstream folly is easily mocked,
    Therefore, White people are easy to mock.

    Oh, another thing, clich’e or not, Indie is seriously awesome. always with love.


  896. Where I come from, you’ll never be fully accepted if you don’t drink coffee at work. It’s almost like a ritual, to have coffee breaks. You will always be a bit suspect if vou just say no thank you. If you don’t like, or can’t drink coffe for other reasons, you must tell that you’re recommended not to drink coffe, by your doctor. Anyway you must make clear that you must deprive yourself from coffee for some reason, temporarly.
    It’s a bit like beeing an alcoholic, its okey to say no thanks to liquor if you have a reason…you’re pregnant, you’re on medication or something else that is untuchable. You don’t want to admit the real reason. To not like coffee is not okey.


  897. Fair Trade Coffee: A tax on White people’s sense of charity.


  898. Coffee is what I drink every day before work. Speaking of work I saw this blog about door to door sales jobs. Its hilarious. If you wanna read it, check out blog number 13 at http://www.garbarrassing.com .


  899. stop spamming bro.


  900. “Sam on August 11, 2008 at 6:49 am

    stop spamming bro.”

    How about another entry: “Using the word Bro”

    or “How are you?”


  901. Scotty>> That’s awesome. Very well put. *applauds*


  902. It’s okay. I think you suck too. But I’m a white person so I just think you suck for sucking, not for your race. Doesn’t that make you feel fuzzy inside?


  903. I’ll bet he can spell his own name.


  904. I’m a proud racist, homophobic southern U.S. White woman and I don’t see myself in any of this, except for the coffee, threatening to move to canada and not having a tv.

    This list is for a small and snobby minority of Whites called yuppie-faggot, lemming race traitors. Who will NOT be allowed inside of Valhalla btw, we force them to sit outside the gates in lumpy bean bag chairs so we don’t have to hear them whining.


  905. LOL, are you mad you didn’t graduate high school and work at wal-mart?


  906. No No, that just means you’re white trash. A special subtype of white. The fact that you didn’t read on and probably will let Fox News give you the gist of it speaks enough. Oh wait, what news?


  907. on August 13, 2008 at 11:59 am Psychoceramics

    You aren’t white, btw. You’re a redneck. It’s similar to white, except missing the past 50 years of social progress.


  908. Ha nice. What about working at fast food? By the way if you wanna check out a news article about the stupidest employees (who wokr for burger king) in the universe, go to http://www.garbarrassing.com and check out the garbarrassment of the day. These people are soooo dumb.


  909. To Well: I hate to break the news to you, but Canada doesn’t like people like you, so you need to pick a new place to threaten to move to! I agree that this site does not represent the majority of whites, because they are leaving out the bigoted, self-righteous ignorant whites such as yourself that I spent my miserable youth growing up around.


  910. right on.


  911. You’re right it just feels not ok doesn’t it?


  912. “I’m a proud racist, homophobic southern U.S. White woman and I don’t see myself in any of this, except for the coffee, threatening to move to canada and not having a tv.”… hmmmm, where do I start?

    1. Although this statement is an oxymoron, you probably don’t understand any part of the word except for MORON!
    2. You moving to Canada doesn’t solve anything… it’s like moving crap from one side of the toilet to the other. You’re a fungus that could use a Lysol diet.
    3. Living in Michigan, I happen to love my Candadian brethern and gasp at the thought of our white trash floating across the border like the sewage you represent.
    4. Isn’t the KKK missing one of their “proud” posterchildren?
    5. “Yuppie-!!$#@#” – even in quotes I can’t bring myself to be as blatantly ignorant as yourself. That’s like tossing around the dreaded “N-word”. In this case -> I sincerely hope you have a son who falls hopelessly in love with a wonderful African American MAN!!!

    I could go on but you make this too easy. Hopefully you respond some day so I can verbally whoop the crap outta ya!


  913. Maybe he meant conquering lands that had no Presidents? That would probably be quite true as it seems to me that the title President is quite a recent thing.

    Mind-bottling, isn’t it?


  914. No, you can drink black tasteless drip shit at home. You go out to drink black sugary drip shit made by 14 year olds. Welcome to America.

    Fact.


  915. Dude, I lost track of what you were saying after the first sentence.

    Can you, like, do a Cliffs notes or something or at least re-read and edit the drivel you posted?

    Cheers.


  916. Maybe they think your opinion is basically worthless and don’t give a damn what you think so they wear what they want?

    Just a thought, honey-pie.


  917. Coffee and Ethiopia are hardly a random connection old buddy. In fact, most would say that it is an alarmingly relevant connection.

    You must not have been educated past 3rd grade and thus are obviously not white. Off with you!


  918. whats your deal ? Im from the south too. Thats great you like coffee. But other gibberish is such shit. Get a grip lady the civil war is over and we lost. sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry!


  919. u r so right about that


  920. coffees gross dude


  921. on August 14, 2008 at 10:47 pm angela fairfield

    how about a post on the overuse of the word “awesome?”


  922. No you are the minority. Seeing as how you are from the South where most White people make fun of. Racist, which most white people know they are but still accept other cultures and Non-Homophobic. Go to a state that has a highly educated population, Washington, California, Virginia, Rhode Island, Michigan, a state that actually matters. Coming from the founders of two of the largest coffee companies I agree with this completely. We drink it when we don’t like it and when we do love it we cannot stop talking about it. Most of these things white people like are anything we can talk about and act superior or more sophisticated. Hell, I only have 4 goals in my life, be rich, famous, own a country and kill most of the Republicans in the US. Hell that’s another thing we love to debate about, politics, we can’t get enough of it.


  923. I don’t like it, but I drink it- Ah the burden of being white, I can hardly take it.


  924. Coffee is like crack to some people. I feel like the guy who thinks he found big foot had to much coffee, or actually may be on crack. This guy basically made shit up and thinks big foot is real. Check out this news article at http://www.garbarrassing.com (garbarrassment of the day near the top of the page) to see how stupid this guy is.


  925. [...] think we can all agree about stuff white people like – coffee, Obama, and bad memories of high-school (just spend 5 minutes talking to Bruce, Anth or myself and [...]


  926. Haha, I drink coffee, but i love it. Its fun being white.


  927. I live in Alaska…Coffee is pivitol to our existence up here!

    MJCorder.com


  928. I, too live in Alaska. Anchorage.

    And yeah- coffee and being white are two of my favorite things in life! Nicely done.


  929. Heads up to anyone looking for Colleges in New York. Purchase College of New York now has a Starbucks that serves three blends of fair trade coffee.


  930. LOL, this is so true. I am white and coffee definitely ranks as one of the major things I like.


  931. coffee originated in North Africa the author of this page is the most clueless idiot ever, he is funny in a carrot top dane cook kind of way (very special guy)


  932. GUILTY as charged your honor.


  933. Carrot Top does prop comedy you idiot. Furthermore, humor (especially when it obviously over-generalizes) is not a thesis on the author’s world view, it is satire.

    Jesus, you white people love getting offended.


  934. I love this guy…
    dude you are funny and this is so true…
    I am 16 and love coffee now…
    I started to drink it when I was about 11 and got sucked up in to starbucks and what not.


  935. +1…hahaha


  936. While teaching computer programming to 3rd graders in Queens, I discovered that my students drank cafe con leche (coffee and milk) every morning. I asked around, and many of my friends from Latin America said they had begun drinking coffee during childhood. Also, Latinos/as are often cafeteros. Cafetero doesn’t have a direct English translation, it means “coffee lover/drinker.” So, chances are, if you have a white person hanging with a Latino/a they probably have coffee drinking in common. In my experience, Latinos/as will appreciate coffee drinking (the smell, varieties), if not partake in coffee consumption.


  937. Yes, white people do love to be offended! Pay attention next time you’re on vacation; there’s always some fat, white person getting pissed off for no good reason.


  938. There’s only ONE thing that white people like more than Coffee!!! ;-)

    White People Love learning Sex Secrets!

    http://sexed.wordpress.com/

    Come see what everyone is talking about.


  939. This hit close to home–as a treat on Sundays we put a little coffee in our 2 year old’s milk–he calls it “coffee milk.”


  940. I referenced carrot top to show illustrate how bad the authors content is not that I think This site is devoted to prop comedy I simply stated that even carrot top could conceptualize a sight this low brow


  941. Yes, I like coffee too… days become good if we start with a cup a coffeee..Asian guys also like coffee very much..


  942. I feel like white people also LOVE race walking. Saw no blacks or asians doing it in the olympics. You should add that to the list of stuff white people like. I also found a hilarious article about race walking at http://www.garbarrassing.com . It’s blog #14 (should see it near the top of the page just scroll down a little bit. Check it out.


  943. I just figured out the genius of your site and book. Stuff White People Like acts like its geared towards people who are non-white. White people love this. In your very own entries, you supply evidence that the things white people like can largely be denoted by their non-mainstream, “non-white” characteristics: just see your entries for why white people love film festivals, hip hop references, soccer, etc.; it is all filled with stuff that is so hipster, ideas that are not too underground but not too mainstream. This fact and all the subtle complexities and paradoxes that come with it delight white people: they are “getting a peek” at what other races think of them (haha!), and then, when they mention this site to their white friends, they can pretend to be very learned, and so in tune with race relations, that they are able to take shots at themselves in such a manner. A vast majority of visitors to your site are white. Just read the forum posts! They’re all white. Your kind of comedy is geared towards, tailor-made, actually, for white people. Furthermore, Stuff White People Like is about stuff white people like, and people will inherently read about what they like; and, considering that most of the people to whom this information is realistically available are white, stuffwhitepeoplelike.com and its literary companion are bound to be popular. I assume that Stuff White People Like (book and site) will actually be the very last entry of your website, and that thereafter, the site and book will have become obsolete. You’ve figured it out.


  944. You’re only just now figuring this out?


  945. Yeah, it’s genius. Why do you want to ruin it for him? Jealous, like most white people?


  946. I shove glasses of coffee in my ass all day long and it feeels

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT! Kinda like tony the tiger….For the record…White people LOVE BOXING as well. I found this hilarious boxing video and I bet you anything that any white person who watches this (probably other races as well) would enjoy this video! Especially the woman’s reaction afterwards.
    Check it out:
    http://www.garbarrassing.com/Comment/Videos/0019.php


  947. This is soooooooo true. Here’s a blog that talks about Coffee as a Form of Entertainment: http://www.entertainmentbuff.com/coffee-as-a-form-of-entertainment/


  948. hmm… yeah.. im a barista at starbucks and there are a lot of white people.. but mostly hispanics and people who dont speak english. i dunno.. maybe its where i live. about 2345.3 caramel frappacinos with extra caramel per day… its annoying. a lot of work goes into that drink people… tip already!

    ps. you wouldnt even like that drink if you knew how many calories are in it… let alone whats in it. talk about daily recommended calorie intake!


  949. Seriously. Those barristas get my guilty white ass to tip them based on the pithy (now that’s a white word) signs on the tip jar, like “Tipping Builds Character.” If I had any balls at all, I would idle my SUV through the drive through line at Mickey D’s and keep it idling while I waited to get my fifteen cents in change back from my McLatte.


  950. I fucking love coffee! I need more of it all the time and every minute! Coffee is my god! By the way, if you wanna see a hilarious video of the greatest prank ever, click the link below: http://www.garbarrassing.com/Comment/Videos/0020.php


  951. Seriously, this website is one of the most disgusting, useless pieces shit I have seen in my life. You spew facts which have as much depth as a kiddie pool, I don’t care because that’s just your own stupidity, but what ticks me off is you’re riling up a new generation of borderline retards like yourself, and stretching the gap between whites and black which so many strong, dedicated people have worked and even died to close. White people like Priuses and organic food, then I one can assume black people like friend chicken and watermelons? cut the crap and go back to school you fool!


  952. hilarious.

    another thing white people like: trying to BREAKDANCE and doing badly. this is hilarious:


  953. Lolz. Obviously you do care. I don’t think this site spews facts just opinions. If you fail to see the humor. You fail at life, plz go kill yourself.


  954. Good grief Diana lighten up. Seriously.


  955. What is this whte people spotlight. Starbuck Coffee has become a corporate pimp. The customers are the whores. Wake up folks SB had a good thing going 15 years ago. They serve an over priced product, you consistantly support a company that has wiped out many independent coffee shops because of their greed. You take away all the flash and presentation SN is just another McDonald Cheese burger. They treat their people who work for them like crap. Lets keep the shareholders happy and mr Schultz. It is time to get it real wakup everyone. Starbuck has become diluted and now desperately scrambling to regroup. Being greedy is a bitch. If you like being pimped by a whore. Keep buying from the SB people…They do not support the troops they only support themselves.
    If you are a dumb whte person that buys this crap you deserve what you get. Get pimped. By the BUCK.
    THERE IS A NEW DRINK ON THE HORIZON 2009…MOGOMOJOE. we’ve taken the Crappay out of the Frappay”


  956. What’s friend chicken? Anything like buddy, pal or sport chicken?


  957. The meaning of “opinion”, or say.. “1st amendment” is lost once people use it to mask hatred and stupidity. There is also a very fine line between humor and filth, the ability to distinguish this line is this line is truly understanding humor, a stupid/humerus thing would be something like one giving lessons on humor to a person and then swiftly telling them to kill themselves. I will leave you to breastfeed in peace now.


  958. Gee Diana, kinda uptight aren’t we ? Most other people who comment on this web site get it. Black, white, whatever. It’s a joke. Laugh alittle huh ? If you dont get it,- get off of it. Go to where uptight bitches like you go, mr. Xanax and your ‘do.


  959. Mr. Xanax and the ‘do like I said.


  960. I guess we know what you do all day. You have pimped that web sight so hard lately, it’s rivaling a 50 year old whores snapper. Let it air out for awhile, huh ?


  961. Ok, so you do that too. Rest it.


  962. Coffee is being banned at some school! You’ll find the story on http://detentionslip.org.


  963. on August 30, 2008 at 11:28 am Hunter Preston

    As a proud recipient of white privilege and the like I think your comment is absurd. What this site is guilty of is failing to mention that white people like reading about what white people like. So get off your high horse and get an internship.


  964. Drinking coffee gives me diarea. You wanna read about something hilarious? This white kid I know moved to Vietnam without a job and barely any money. He is blogging about his experiences there and its hilarious. Read them here: http://www.garbarrassing.com/Bill.php


  965. Asian girls with bangs drinking coffee?


  966. Diana, “retard”? That is an ugly word and should only be used when referring to a diagnosis. So, while you are “breast feeding in peace,” look at that beautiful baby and think how you would feel if your child had been diagnosed with special needs, and how insensitive it is to use “retard” to refer to perceived character flaws, bad judgement or general distain.


  967. The items on this list are all wrong.

    You find a few white people that like these things and say that white people like them, as if “all white people” do.
    You are completely wrong. Everything about this website is completely wrong. Take it down. Destroy it all.

    Ok, #11…. we do LIKE Asian Women, they are SO HOT!


  968. Here in Sweden, all the white people started buying the “ecological” milk at the store. Now you basically only see the ecological stuff, or at least its everywhere — not just at the upscale shops.

    Drinking fairtrade coffee or ecological milk in your own kitchen doesn’t get you style points with people. You don’t get a badge with your purchase either, so you can walk down the street and get your well-deserved props for being so aware.

    Maybe they should though, so that everyone vapid enough to think they are making the decisive difference by buying fair trade this or ecological that might actually end up making the difference in the end anyway.


  969. I’m white and I hate coffee…so ?
    Thomas195 got point


  970. Ok, I am white, and I love coffee. By I know plenty of black people who love coffee too. Hell, white people love crack, but so do a lot of people. I am gonna start the website, stuffblackpeoplelike.com.

    Speaking of black people. I have a friend who just moved to Vietnam. He has almost no money and no current job. He is writing a blog about his experiences in Vietnam. You should definitely check it out. I promise you will enjoy it:

    http://www.garbarrassing.com/Bill.php


  971. Do people REALLY get offended by this stuff? I mean, come on, guys. I am white- an extremely pasty white unless sporting a lobster red sunburn- and I have found absolutely no offense in or of this website. Besides, in the context of this website I would consider the definition of white people not to be “of caucasion descent” but to be something more along the lines of, “to be a person of any color under the visible spectrum who fuctions in a tool like/prickish manner; a ‘scarf in the summer’ wearing, sushi eating, one upping, and let us not forget SENSITIVE, sob.” Now, however, thou cannot help it if 99.9% of the steorotypical tool population consists of people of caucasion descent. Would the website, if given any other name, smell as sweet? Or make me laugh so damn hard? Probably not. OBVIOUSLY, “white people” DO NOT like or appreciate a good sense of humor and are are a little too thin skinned to appreciate a good kick in the arse; If you can’t laugh at yourself, then what can you laugh at?


  972. Good one Benson!! I am a white guy, and, think a lot of these readers need to calm down and take this whole blog and website for the humor it is–but keeping in mind, one reason humor is so funny-is-it has that edgy grain of truth that makes you stop in the middle of your laugh and say, hey, is that ME??. Went to hear a choir at an affluent white church-good choir, nice folks and preacher-and the ladies of the church were selling fair trade coffee by the cup and fair trade coffee bags of beans-now that I think about it, was about 2 bucks over folgers price per bag–what a hoot. It is okay to make fun of those things that are sterotypical.


  973. I’m white and bald and I love coffee.


  974. > He has almost no money and no current job.

    I think that you just found the first two items for your list.


  975. Claire is probably right that, within the context of this site, “white” is a set of behaviors. [Of course, the meta-context of this site is "highbrow white conservatives snickering at middle/high-brow white liberals by playing the race-card and channeling the love-child of BIll Cosby and Christopher Buckley in a bid to carve out their own Zion in which to be Cool." Brilliant, btw.]

    What I have trouble with, though, is the suggestion that race is something you can put on or take off at your whim.

    European descent is the dominant cultural base in the West. Sure, Dick and Jane can kick the flava’ if they want to, but they can still crunch numbers for Archer Daniels Midland M-F. But Kashreem and Vanessa need to button it up (down, rather) if they really want a top slot in the corporation someday.

    [Rechecking the List for "obscure Apocalypse Now references." OK, I'm back.]

    Conversely, Dick and Jane are free to affect “ethnic white” stylings in moderation — like Mossy Oak(tm) accessories, Charlie Daniels ringtones, needlepointed wind-suits, sour mash whiskey or manifest destiny — without fear of comments like “communications problems” appearing in their 6-month performance reviews.

    peace out
    10-4 good buddy


  976. I have to have Starbucks at least twice a week, I don’t know how anyone could hate coffee.


  977. I’m a fat white guy and I loooooooooooooooove coffee I love it so much that I just got finish drinking six cups of it and I have to caffeine patches on my both of my arms, my doctor said that if I keep this going I will stay awake for the next 3 years and not feel a thing……………….SO NO THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT INSULT ME!!!!

    B-L-A-C-K
    P-O-W-E-R


  978. on September 6, 2008 at 6:30 pm Tymeash Shaymeel Latisha Shaniqua Smith-Jones

    im wyt an i gots da blkst nam outs thurr.an i luv mes a hott cup of dat cofe stuf n da mornins. ya digg wat i bees sayin wen i says da stuf i says? an i luv me sum asians.the mens an da wemons.an i snaps my fingers and twis my neck an hips wen i get mad at my boo.

    but im wyt.yeas.im a strat wyt grl.so get it up. an i lve in da burbs.

    blk ppl hav no influnc in my lyf.at al.

    im sur yal al fel me 2.

    t.s.l.s.j. 456-9824cll ya grl..area cod b 412.

    los gef ber lakedrtyasy in da gravelaster…peac doggs
    an doggettss


  979. Coffee is my crack cocaine. If I don’t have at least 347384 cups a day, I might as well be in a coma.


  980. 1. I started drinking coffee in high school.

    2. Now I’m so addicted to it I almost had an ex-boyfriend break up with me because I was so cranky in the morning without it.

    This posting exhibits the many examples of how white I am.


  981. I HATE COFFEE.
    its rediciulous.. how so many people like black crap in there mouth. Just eat a banana. Look what it does to you. u get cranky at people cause of one cup of black brown poop looking drink.


  982. Jen Jen, you should try putting a black banana in your mouth.


  983. Sometimes I drink coffee, just to read blogs like this one. I also read my friend’s blog. He recounted his experience of guys hitting on his girlfriend at a bar. His blog is hilarious Check it out:

    http://www.garbarrassing.com (just scroll down a lil and click on blog #16)

    or just click here

    http://www.garbarrassing.com/Comment/Blogs/0016.php


  984. “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.”

    haha, sounds like coffee is the white mans crack-cocaine. :p


  985. How about when someone orders a fat free sugar free latte because they’re watching they’re weight, but they order the 64 oz. size. White people love doing that.


  986. There’s nothing conflicting about that though; since it’s probably zero calories, it doesn’t matter how much you drink. It’s the same as drinking water.


  987. Also, I dislike coffee and prefer milky tea. Am I whiter still then?


  988. Sorry, kid. I read that blog. It wasn’t anywhere remotely close to hilarious.


  989. Being named “Joshua Smith” is really white

    (no offence)


  990. Starbucks!!!!


  991. I read that lame blog that “Joshua Smith” spews all over this site. It’s stupid. He needs to get over it.


  992. Classic blog man. This is so funny, its killing me.


  993. This is so funny!Liquid Coffee Extract 60 cups per minute every morning.
    http://www.yishanteashop.com/


  994. Ok coffee is like cracker smacking asspounding erections! I love coffee! I HAVE HAD 10 CUPS OF COFFEEEEEEEEEEEE TODAY!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I am black though….My friend however, who lives in VIETNAMMMM likes coffee more than I do and HE IS WHIIIIITITTEEE!

    He went to Vietnam with little money and no job and has been blogging about his experiences there. His blog is hilarious and he just added a new post today. Check it out:

    http://www.garbarrassing.com/Bill.php


  995. You are hereby banned from posting on this blog. Any further activity from your IP address will result in a lawsuit. Thank you for your compliance.


  996. I love website admins that threaten a lawsuit for a post on their site. You can’t be sued for posting something on a site. This guy is a jackass.


  997. ha. troll counter-attack.


  998. [img]http://www.danasoft.com/sig/SWPLAdmin.jpg[/img]


  999. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was 8 years old. I was curious every time I saw my parents drinking it. All I knew was that it looked like hot chocolate. Finally one day my mom poured some hot coffee into what was essentially a sippy cup and told me to drink it slowly and carefully lest I burn my tongue. I did as she said, slowly sipping it down at first, but I loved the taste so much that I took off the lid and gulped down the last half of the cup all at once. From then on, I was pretty much hooked. Note, though: this was decaffeinated coffee. I was drinking it purely because I loved the taste. I didn’t start drinking real coffee until I was in my early teens. Also, surprisingly perhaps, I never really cared for sugar or cream in my coffee; even when I was young I drank it plain.


  1000. White college students will also tell you that they and their freinds make a super-strong version on normal coffee.
    White people will come into work on Monday morning and talk about “Hooking themselves up to a coffee I.V” as though they were the first idiot to think of that…and didn’t you see I was sitting in the office before you got here?


  1001. white guys doesnt worry about the color of coffee because it cames into a white cup with the starbucks logo<!


  1002. Black people drink it too. Now your just making stuff up!


  1003. You do realize that liking something does not make it mutually exclusive right? I am white and drink tea and coffee. That does not mean you cannot drink and enjoy those things also.


  1004. I’m white and I hate coffee. Game over.


  1005. I am white and love coffee more than anything.


  1006. fair trade… as appeasing to white guilt as that ‘save darfur’ sticker on the refrigerator.


  1007. The one thing white people like more than drinking coffee, is learning sex secrets ;-)

    http://sexed.wordpress.com

    Come see what everyone’s talking about!


  1008. for the white guy who has never ever drank coffee I don’t understand this.


  1009. White guys also will get into the correct “bean” for the time of day. You know, “I really enjoy a Kenya AA in the morning, but like a nice Costa Rican at the end of the day around supper time.”


  1010. im all for that shit


  1011. Re-post:

    I’m going out on a limb here, does anyone remember learning to spell, punctuate or capitalize?


  1012. I LOVE – LOVE – LOVE COFFEE!!!!


  1013. Because coffee’s too black for you?


  1014. Yes, I do. Humorously, however, you mis-punctuated in your post by neglecting to put a colon after here…


  1015. Coke Zero–occasionally tea (with enough lemon and sugar to make it taste like warm lemonade)–a really big glass of orange juice (until I developed diabetes).


  1016. I drink 3 black coffees in the morning with 3 shots of NOS each RADDA RADDA RADA HAHAHAHHA


  1017. I am white and I HATE coffee. One day, I will nuke every Starbucks on the planet.

    This that said, most of this stuff just isn’t true about me, or a lot of other white people I know. Some are (I love Korean women and I am guilty of finding the bangs cut cute), but most aren’t. I dislike hip hop, I don’t have a Facebook account, I won’t vote for Obama (I’m convinced he’ll be the anti-Christ if elected), Apple products are crap, I only remember one article from the Onion, which rarely pops up in any of my conversations, and I stopped watching television a long time ago (can’t stand the commercial breaks). Now, with a couple things, you’re dead on. When I was in Korea (via Army, not to study abroad), I enjoyed being the only white person wherever I was, mainly because I didn’t want to see any of them. I worked with those arsehole soldiers all day, I didn’t want to spend my free time with them too. And sushi, yeah, it’s amazing, but only when you’re in Pacific Asia. That fake crap elsewhere just doesn’t compare.


  1018. Hi,
    Thank you for (quite possibly) the most hilarious take on this very specialist subject on ‘white’ identity. Would I be able to get your permission to link your website to my Contemporary Studies website? (The site is part of a university project for my postgraduate degree. It aims to explore issues of identity and its construction).

    Thanks,
    Mia

    Disclaimer: I am not a “white person”. I am Asian (okay, 1/4 Spanish, that is if you consider ‘Spanish’ to be ‘white’. But I do not look ‘white’ at all. Re the Spanish comment: I’m just kidding so please Spanish people out there don’t take offence).


  1019. this site f*@kin kills me. Laughed so hard I spilled my coffee and feel outta my sweater! Ahhhhhh…white people, get a sense of humour about yourselves. Life is good. Life is fun! Now, where’s my gifted child, oh yes doing yoga! ROTFLMAO


  1020. It’s not about the coffee. True coffee drinkers take nothing more than cream and sugar. It’s about being seen in Starbucks and thought of as some sort of self-actualizing intellectual sort. You must be either reading the Sunday Times or pretending to write the next great screenplay, gazing at the Mac while texting on your Crackberry, with Bluetooth devices in each ear. When I see these folks multitasking such a plethora of important shit I am so fucking impressed that I simply do not feel worthy to share the same coffee joint with them. I order my black coffee and get the hell out!


  1021. on September 23, 2008 at 12:41 am Slightly-WhiteAussie

    Starbucks! You’ve got to be joking. No white person in Australia (well, at least no one in the inner suburbs of the capital cities) would be seen dead inside a Starbucks, and he/she would be embarrassed even to be found loitering outside one. In Australia (well, in the inner areas of the capital cities) we have plenty of small cafes run by teenage entrepreneurs who know how to do an expresso or a latte, and these are the sorts of places that whites patronise. We were delighted to learn a few week ago that Starbucks is closing many of its Australian outlets, and we can only hope that this welcome exodus will be followed by Gloria Jeans, McDonalds and Kentucky Fried. Long live sushi!


  1022. Bugger sushi! The best short black in Australian history was made at the University cafe (downstairs) in Lygon street Carlton circa 1980 by a grumpy Italian man, whilst card playing cleaners from the Womens’ hospital spent their lunch hour talking, drinking coffee and picking their teeth. Vive L’Italia!


  1023. I just found out that I am the whitest kid alive! I love the daily show, apple products, Wes Anderson and I’m dating an Asian girl. I’m so lame. At least I’m not a big fan of coffee although I have pretended to enjoy it on several occasions. Somebody help me.


  1024. Too True Slightly White.

    Coffee in Australia is a religion and not to be influenced by any multinational conglomerate. Our love of coffee cannot be comprimised by our hatred of corporations. Even if they do serve rainforest alliance coffee!


  1025. Please don’t make fun of my e-mail address, my kids
    already have cornered the market on that.

    The coffee fascination is a lame attempt by Americans to not be lame and drink the watered-down grounds their parents brewed. Starbucks succeeded because the coffee was strong, but not good, they were the first to capitalize on this neurotic exposure of not being really European.

    But, since Americans truly do not like strong coffee, they had to sugar it up with soy milk, cream, FLAVORINGS, evaporated/condensed milk stuff out of a container, anything that pretended to be coffee, but your brain still knew was really dessert.

    By the way, no ango country can make good coffee. Also, if you really like good coffee, please just make it yourself. It is not hard.


  1026. I fucking love coffee.


  1027. Omg its soo true..I hate coffee personally..and yes I’m white..

    I work in an office where everyone just HAS to have there stupid morning coffee..its probably the most annoying thing ever.. there absolutely obsessed..and its all in their heads!.. coffee doesn’t wake me up..it puts me to sleep..I’m probs just odd..but whenever they complain that theres the wrong type of coffee..or there isn’t enough made..I have to restrain myself from hitting them with the coffee pot!!!!


  1028. Omg its soo true..I hate coffee personally..and yes I’m white..

    I work in an office where everyone just HAS to have there stupid morning coffee..its probably the most annoying thing ever.. there absolutely obsessed..and its all in their heads!.. coffee doesn’t wake me up..it puts me to sleep..I’m probs just odd..but whenever they complain that theres the wrong type of coffee..or there isn’t enough made..I have to restrain myself from hitting them with the coffee pot!!!! they make me so angry!


  1029. Hahaha, this is great. I love coffee, but then again, I am I am from Colombia, where everybody no matter what color has at least ten cups a day (smaller and softer than the regular coffee sold at the US). And the fair trade. Allow me to laugh a little more.
    I love this window into US ethnic crazyness.


  1030. Michie, you’re killing me with your grammar. Seriously, I counted 5 instances of grammatical error.


  1031. white people love to point out proper grammar to people they don’t know on the internet . . . .


  1032. So funny and true.


  1033. You did not capitalize the beginning of your sentence.


  1034. You also put four periods. It should only be three.


  1035. Well I personally LOVE coffee. I have since I was 10? This made me smile. I can’t wait to read the book!


  1036. Wow! There is a lot of sanctimony in these postings and little humour. This is all farce. So many have taken this site, this phenomenon all to heart and have made it into a soap box to stand on. Trying to show that you have an intellect by this sort of debate only displays how little intellect you have. Hatred is the province of those with a weak mind and even weaker character. Give joy people and if you can’t, let those who can do so! There should be a twelve step group for Aholeism! Now I’ve succumbed to two other traits of being white, the compulsion of pointing out the failings of others and participating in a rant.


  1037. Black coffee with creamer or milk. Anything else and you are a hipster faggot.


  1038. The Icelandic coffee sock – icon of the whitey-er than thou !


  1039. as a non-drinker i have to say bullseye and whats even better is the lengths people go to to convince you that you havent had their favorite kind of coffee and that is why you do not drink yet.


  1040. I fucking love coffee!


  1041. See what trouble teachers get into when they don’t have their morning coffee at http://detentionslip.org


  1042. You forgot to mention that Fair Trade coffee is also part of the white-guilt industry.


  1043. Let me help you out w/ your next book:

    “Stuff Black People Like”

    #1: Grape Soda


  1044. Not my favorite drink (I get powered up in the morning with Coke Zero), but Arabs seem to have coffee-drinking down best of all–they actually relax while drinking it . . .


  1045. No, if you have any arabs or ethiopians in your school they will have been the first to drink coffee, since the entire social life of visiting has serving and drinking small cups of coffee at the center, so anybody from saudi arabia or ethiopa grew up seeing people visit and sip coffee and will have served the guests by age 10.
    You HAVE to drink it even if you don’t like.
    white people mess up coffee. They burn it.


  1046. If you remember how to punctuate then you should put a full-stop after the ellipsis as it is not followed by a sentence. Quotation marks around ‘here’ would also make the meaning of your sentence clearer.


  1047. anyone can like coffee.


  1048. COFFEEEEEEEE IS MY CRACCCKKKK! I love it. I actually own a coffee shop and recently made a shit-ton of money marketing it online using tips from this site: http://tinyurl.com/4kxjpl

    Great stuff if you wanna make money marketing shit online. It does cost some money to join it though, but its well worth it. I would recommend it to anyone. It helped me make over $10000


  1049. Hey, the first ever SWPL comment.
    You got you’re own TV show yet?


  1050. what brand of coffee?


  1051. Fair Trade DOES make a difference, and not just in coffee.

    Black people don’t like coffee, so much, but they sure do love one thing at Starbucks: CARAMEL FRAPPUCCINO… EXTRA EXTRA CARAMEL. $4.65 for pure sugary goodness…


  1052. really? please explain how Fair Trade and Cafe Press are part of the white-guilt industry? funny how people bitch and moan about sweatshop labor and third world poverty and then when someone finally does something to help the situation they’re criticized.

    No but really, explain


  1053. good call! in fact, the word coffee is a direct cognate from the Arabic word…

    ever notice the name of the high quality coffee bean all the companies like to say they use? “Arabica”


  1054. there should be four. An ellipses is used to denote pause, later continuation, or redaction. If it ends the sentence, it should be followed by another.

    I need a hobby.


  1055. on October 9, 2008 at 4:08 am Pierre Ferrari

    the newest white people like is fair traded, organic yerba mate! get it at Tully’s and Whole Foods. what’s not to like…a fantastically healthy herbal plant, discovered by indigenous people in Paraguay who survived their own holocaust. lots of stimulation, lots of vitamins, lots of minerals, kind of tough to pronounce and you can drink it out of gourd, looks naughty, feels like you know Buenos Aires!…Viva Yerba Mate


  1056. Yes coffee owes it’s roots to African and Arabian beginings, but like so many inventions, owes it’s perfection (Espresso, Cappucino, lattes, iced, etc.), its distribution, and refinement (Vienna/Seattle ANyone?) to the pale faced, rythym lacking west…


  1057. Dear Eurostar, you ask to whom does coffee owe its perfection, specifying “espresso, cappucino, latte…” A small clue – all these words are Italian in origin…


  1058. Italian people are, technically (sorry), in fact white.


  1059. It is, in fact, true that although we don’t like coffee the first time we drink it, or even the second, third, or fourth times, we continue to drink it until we do like it. It’s kind of pathetic, really. I started trying to drink coffe when I was about ten. I’m finally starting to like it.


  1060. I like coffee too! Like other whites, I also like to give great advice.

    http://www.howtolosegirls.com


  1061. Yes. It is a bright white color.


  1062. coffee is not only the love of you whites, but also that of many people elsewhere! for example my mum who grabs 2 huge cups a day. btw, i’m from china.


  1063. on October 13, 2008 at 6:47 pm andres benedectine.

    I am Cuban. I love coffee. Can I coincide among you honkies for enjoying this activity?


  1064. I, unfortunately, love coffee. I quit cigarettes, I quit drinking alcohol but can’t seem to kick the coffee habit. I drink a maximum of 5 cups a week so it’s not terrible as I do know people who drink 5 cups a DAY. And I prefer coffee at the deli or diner rather than DD or Starbucks. It just tastes better to me.

    Oh, and also, I HATED coffee until about 4 years ago.


  1065. Canadians love their coffee too! Especially in Vancouver, Starbucks and Blenz Coffee are on every street corner. In fact there are two Starbucks across (diagonally) each other.


  1066. I didn’t know canadians weren’t also white.


  1067. on October 15, 2008 at 8:45 pm Neo X Alucard

    Canadians are white, maybe more so than whites in the U.S.


  1068. Honestly, still prefer un cortado versus ” latte” which to me is just an over priced cafe con leche..


  1069. They speak FRENCH IN CANADA?!?!?!


  1070. Coffee’s AWESOME!…this website cracks me up & yes I think Canadians are “white”


  1071. on October 19, 2008 at 1:15 pm hoopskidoodle

    I’m black and I love coffee. I drink it all day long. I love it so much that I have an Amazon.com subscription for my favorite Douwe Egbert’s dark roast coffee for my Senseo coffee machine. I also own a French press and a conical bur grinder. So there!


  1072. on October 19, 2008 at 1:17 pm hoopskidoodle

    … FYI, Starbucks is crap. They over-roast their beans in attempt to mask their rancidity and cheapness. If you’re going to go to a coffee shop, find one that is independently owned. Starbucks is to coffee what McDonald’s is to haute cuisine.


  1073. canadians are yellow


  1074. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE COFFEE!!!
    But I’m also white.
    But I also have a Filipino friend who practically inhales the stuff. I didn’t know coffee had such a limited audience if it’s up here on the “stuff white people like” list, but whatever. I don’t really think it should be up here because it’s heavenly and EVERYONE likes it. At least everyone who’s cool.


  1075. Wanted to let you know about my Giveaway! I just opened an online coffee shop and to celebrate we are giving away a 1lb bag of coffee every Friday for the month of October!

    To enter visit: http://www.getthebean.blogspot.com

    If you want a chance to win $$ for the Cancer Charity of your choice for an entire year go to: http://www.gtbfightscancer.blogspot.com

    Thanks so much!

    Meaghan


  1076. Meaghan,

    Try paying for your advertising space, you freeload bitch.


  1077. Sorry coffee, even fair trade coffee, is no longer allowable. It has to be decaf fairtrade with soymilk (see veganism and “natural” medicine.)


  1078. You should rename this list “Stuff white Democrats Like”. I don’t like any of this crap. Except Asian girls, but who doesn’t like them?


  1079. Almost every black person I work with seems to drink coffee. And no, there aren’t just two or three black people here…

    I am happy to see others hate Starbucks, too. I work in NYC and the best coffee is the no-name brand sold off those little carts everywhere on the street. Cheap, too.

    Also hate Dunkin Donuts coffee.


  1080. How ‘educated’ are you exactly? Primary school should have taught you about the correct use of punctuation and grammar.


  1081. You forgot one of the main things white people love on your list: RACING/NASCAR

    LMAO great list!


  1082. I don’t drink coffee.
    I also don’t smoke, do drugs or drink alcohol.
    I am not a theist.

    Does that mean that I’m not white?

    -Curious in San Jose


  1083. [...] liberals are attached to Obama too, but only superficially. After Election Day, they can sip their lattes with a clean conscience knowing that they voted for a black man for President, then go on with life [...]


  1084. I loved cigarettes the first time I smoked. I loved coffee the first time I drank it. I have no formal education but I read more then those with doctorates. Whether I take anything from it is something else in it’s entirety. I do love lattes, however I strongly dislike(you can apply hate–textbook definition of strongly dislike) liberals. Go figure.


  1085. this site should be called “what white liberal californians like”


  1086. on October 25, 2008 at 5:40 pm recessionproofyourassets

    www fakepaycheckstubs com


  1087. on October 25, 2008 at 7:37 pm Jennifer and Allan mixed wht/asian couple

    This is so funny because the very first thing I asked for when my daughter was born (c-section) was for starbucks! I also live in Seattle, coffee capital of the free world! I think this whole site could be decicated to Seattlites; we fit all this shit to a tee! How Great!
    fun,
    J & A


  1088. scarlofs go to #> Obama # and read mimi and george bush posts . you’ll understand!!


  1089. sally , what is nascar ?


  1090. the best one is in little italy!


  1091. I cannot live without Starbucks. Coffee was a perfect choice for number 1.


  1092. Hahaha the first person
    at my school to drink
    coffe was half white
    half mexican. . . but
    my white spanish
    teacher has said
    “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” haha pretty funny


  1093. Sally, I am going to have to disagree with you hear. Strongly. Although I understand why Nascar is an easy target for this list–we all know that 99.99999% of Nascar fans are, indeed, white–but these are not the kind of “white” people targeted on this site.
    There are, of course, many branches on the “white tree” and this website is aimed toward a specific white demographic. For example: Grammar; San Francisco; Barrack Obama; sushi; yoga; Toyota Prius. All of these things are things that Nascar fans dislike, if not loathe. Nascar fans like things like: saying “y’all” and “ain’t”; Lynchburg, VA; Sarah Palin; anything fried in lard; drinking Budweiser; and Ford F150s with rebel flag bumper stickers and shotgun racks.
    Come on, Sally. You need to learn how to apply blanket stereotypes to large groups of people if you want to be a bona-fide citizen of this great country of ours.


  1094. I must now do something that no white person ever likes to do. This is one of the worst forms of humiliation. I must correct my own grammar. The above post has an atrocious typo right in the first sentence. Of course, I meant to say, “here.” There is no need to reply with a post about what an idiot I am (although I deserve it after chiding someone for typing “get’s” instead of “gets” not 20 minutes ago). Lesson learned.


  1095. on October 27, 2008 at 1:35 pm JoeyJoJoShabadoo

    You are so white.


  1096. do you know that here in Australia all the Starbucks got shut down after a year becuase the coffee is so shit! It tastes like dirty dish water mixed with watered down milk!

    all american coffee is shit becuase is really instant coffee you like to call Esspresso!

    In Australia we have coffee places called Cibo, Illy and un cafe bar. all real espresso bars.

    go and tell your white friends the above and they’ll think your really cool!


  1097. Coffee does help you get going. I believe that coffee makes us more productive and focused.


  1098. Very interesting would be some sort of taste of coffee vs. strength of coffee vs. productivity of person ratio.


  1099. scientology too hahah


  1100. [...] liberals are attached to Obama too, but only superficially. After Election Day, they can sip their lattes with a clean conscience knowing that they voted for a black man for President, then go on with life [...]


  1101. It makes me shit.


  1102. on October 28, 2008 at 8:58 am whatthecoffeepoop?!?

    wow.. i just quit. white people are crazy!


  1103. on October 28, 2008 at 2:12 pm sandrak quinn

    i like coffee i like tea…drink too much and they make ya pee. Blue Mountain is the VERY BEST.


  1104. POSTED ABOVE-”There is no doubt that white people love coffee”

    IM ONE OF THE WHITEST PPL U’LL EVER SEE. . .I HATE COFFEE

    AT LEAST ON THIS ONE IT DOESNT SAY ALL WHITE PPL


  1105. I really think I need my membership to the white race revoked because I love TV,hate sushi,never watched Arrested Development & I’m not a coffee drinker. I much prefer tea.


  1106. Okay, I’ll trade my Asian membership with you. I so love my sushi and free trade java.


  1107. I’m all about a venti Pike….


  1108. I am white. I drink coffee. (I also like sushi and I ride a bicycle (but it is NOT a ‘fixie’))


  1109. I absolutely love coffee and drink it most days (I would hope so, my coffee maker doubles as my alarm clock…) and cringed and then smiled at the fact that I do pay the extra $2 for fair-trade coffee.


  1110. this site is hilarious! why is everyone getting their panties in a wad? geez….get a sense of humor.


  1111. You go Leigh. This is some funny s*#t. Just laugh and enjoy it!!


  1112. Coffee is a great one, but what about DIET COKE — maybe that is more specific to white women, but I know that I could not survive without it and I am quite white!


  1113. Actually doctordenim if it is at the end of a sentence, as it would have been had she capitalized white, four periods is correct.


  1114. Hmm…I don’t think you are that white if you write a post in all caps, forgo the apostrophe in ‘I’m’, and abbreviate ‘you will’ as “u’ll”. :)


  1115. YOU ARE KILLING ME!!!! Why haven’t I heard of this site before?

    I’m about to OUT YOU to my friends!


  1116. This white woman gave up spending money 2 days ago. So did my husband. He is no longer getting his liquid crack aka coffee from Dunkin Donuts, and I can’t just pop into my local independent cafes, nor the chains. Yeah, we’re not spending any money for 2 weeks. Though if we run out of TP we’ll probably spring for it. You can follow our follies at my blog Planet Perspectives.


  1117. I don’t love coffee.. I simply need coffee. There’s a difference. It tastes nasty no matter what you try to cover it up with. There’s nothing to really like about it other than it makes you alert.


  1118. But also going to independant coffee shops is very white. And hating starbucks is also very white.


  1119. [...] there was a cup of fair trade Ethiopian coffee (#1) and shopping at the non profit (#12) ANU Food Co-op (#48) for organic tempeh and the like (#6), [...]


  1120. haha amen joey


  1121. Ugh, I detest coffee! Unfortunately, I have a quite sensitive tongue and nose, so I can always taste the bitterness, no matter how much sugar and milk you put in it. Of course, this means that I, unlike many other (white?) people, don’t depend on coffee to wake up in the morning.

    I prefer tea. Because it is delicious. Nothing like a mug of genmai-cha on a rainy day~ Hot chocolate/cocoa is also very nice.


  1122. Wow! I’m Asian and I do love Iced coffee.


  1123. I am suffering. Feel my pain. I stopped spending money for 2 weeks, with my family, and we’re on Day 11. I ran out of espresso yesterday. My fancy (albeit old) espresso machine sits gathering dust. I do manage to grind beans (coffee beans) from the freezer and make coffee, but come on, this white girl really likes a daily dose of double-espresso chez moi. And free. Blogging about not spending any money at http://www.planetperspectives.blogspot.com. Read it and weep.


  1124. White People really love this website


  1125. [...] playing hookie this morning. And as I sit in this crowded Upper East Side coffeeshop, sipping my coffee, I marvel at the number of people in here. And try to resist the insurmountable urge to inquire, [...]


  1126. great site
    great hoice on the comment
    can you imagine if a coffee shop only served white people, I know they do but what if they ran PR – only whites

    thanks

    George
    http://www.missiongrounds.com
    The coffee helping children


  1127. I hate coffee and tea (I’m white by the way). In fact, I counted 5 things on this entire stupid list that I like.


  1128. [...]I hate coffee and tea (I’m white by the way). In fact, I counted 5 things on this entire stupid list that I like.[...]

    Was missing the point on your list?


  1129. on November 18, 2008 at 11:38 am Cal Naughton, Jr.

    I am very white and I do love coffee. By coffee, though, I mean plain black coffee. Once things are added it ceases being coffee.


  1130. Nice. But I have to say most people don’t think English is hard to learn, not because they’re afraid of being less intelligent than anyone else- it’s just their native language . They don’t think about it that much. If I had to nit pick.

    That’s a pretty obnoxious and left field generalization.


  1131. I love iced coffee, too, and I’m not Asian. I love coffee, and I’m kink of pinkish-wheat with brownish-pinkish arms and small brown spots all over my body, but by no means am I the “Crayola definition” of white. I’m pretty sure my ancestors were from this planet.


  1132. geez calm down. it’s just funny. i know plenty indians (the “come to our casino” kind, like me) that are like this. its pretty funny.


  1133. I think that’s it says something about our country when a simple thing like coffee that bring many people from allllllllllll races together every morning can become racial. Ohhh I’m american by the way !!! American


  1134. me too – I love coffee too.
    I do not like fair Trade coffee.
    I like mission grounds gourmet coffee
    http://www.missiongrounds.com


  1135. I don’t need any fancy coffee. Just give me a decaf nonfat soy mocha latte and I’m good to go!


  1136. agree 100% with this being number one. i dont understand why ever single white person that ever lived needs to drink coffee every day. It starts at age 12 trying to act adult and never ends.


  1137. [...] I don’t drink coffee so I can’t relate. God forbid fools don’t get their fucking Starbucks first thing in the morning. I don’t even know why I’m getting all riled up about this. [...]


  1138. I dont get the coffee thing either, my friend and I used to watch all the white people go for brunch and slurp away on their soy trim double shot extra strength lattes which are sold at about 500% more than what its worth, I guess they gotta wash the eggs benedict down with something.


  1139. I’m not into coffee, myself. I used to drink it, but it ended up giving me caffeine headaches.

    -MINESWEEP


  1140. whats REALLY cool its to be white and then denounce all the things white people supposedly like. I HATE COFFEE etc. thats won’t work at as well when you get to the blog about how white people enjoy not having televisions. it won’t sound as intellingent when your reply reads “I love television, i’m constantly watching it and just can’t get enough. in fact, i’ve never read a book.” this site cracks me up. i love coffee. AND, i’m white. who’d have thought!?


  1141. So I’m supposed to ease up on eveything on the list now that it is out? I’m so confused??


  1142. Haha I love all the comments on this blog from the white people who missed the white people boat: “I’m white and I HATE coffee drinkers… Sooo stupid!” Heeheehee


  1143. You know what I Think is funny? All of these white kids who go on like “p’shaw, whateva, I’m no like this at all”

    WOW. You’re fucking dense. This is a joke, you jackasses.

    Go drink some coffee, become Bhuddist, jerk off to asian porn, and throw up a gang sign in your next douchy picture.

    =D


  1144. on December 2, 2008 at 5:04 am princess leia

    another thing white people like ;)
    making up a million different fancy names for coffee and pretending that they wont be able to survive if they don’t get EXACTLY that low fat-decaf-high whatchamacallit crap type they like :D


  1145. I assume that all you people are either 10 or from US, or maybe both?

    Bad Christopher, bad!


  1146. I’m not white but I drink coffee. The only coffee I have is either black no sugar or white no sugar. Also that would be drank at lunch, if I have any at all, and from my local for $3 in Australia.


  1147. The white factor in coffee is not just fair trade coffee, but LOCAL and INDEPENDENT coffee shops that roast beans with unique sounding names


  1148. on December 6, 2008 at 6:00 am White Guy #203

    Lol, I hate coffee. Is tea a white person thing?


  1149. i like coffee…………………………


  1150. But its not enough to just GO to the unique coffee shop. Instead, whenever someone brings up beverages, or even food, they MUST share, at great length, that they go to this WONDERFUL tiny little tucked away coffee shop that “only the locals really know” and that they brew their coffee in an amazingly superior way, and also how they always buy the coffee because its just SOOOO GOOD. “Oh really? You’ve never heard of it? Well, most people haven’t. I’ll give you the address later.” and then conveniently forget to give you the address because then they wouldn’t have bragging rights, now would they?

    sorry, I’m pretty sure that that entire think was only like two sentences. rant over…


  1151. I just found this and its a crack up. I sit here with my coffee reading – oh and I am fair-skinned not white. lol


  1152. Yes, I am sitting here with my coffee and freckles. But I think there is an item missing…

    #2 Making and Discussing Lists Like This One

    I’ve never actually met a list maker, but they seem to be quite common in White American Culture as depicted at the movies and on TV.


  1153. Another person white people like is Bob Marley.


  1154. I love making lists!!!
    Why?

    -they are fun
    -they are organized
    -i like the little sections
    -they are informative
    -they make me feel important


  1155. You’re sounding like David Letterman. All you need is a big mug of joe and some banter about girls with bangs.


  1156. Don’t forget tea. Tea is generally beloved by white people. There are two distinctly different types of tea: iced and hot. Iced tea is usually sweetened and caters to the tastes of southern white people, or white children.

    Hot tea, on the other hand, appeals to white people who enjoy appearing sophisticated. It is also generally seen as a one-up on coffee drinkers, akin to vegans one-upping vegetarians. [For the record, vegetarians are pussies. If they had any balls, they would either eat meat or become vegan.] Drinking hot tea demonstrates to their white peers that they are “internationally minded” and also sophisticated enough to have trained themselves to enjoy something even more disgusting than coffee.

    Asian teas are a plus.


  1157. The extra $2 dollars is probably better than moaning about it on a website generating revenue from google ads :)


  1158. “integration”

    Hello racist..

    “Racist”

    Hello bandwagon

    “Bandwagon”

    Hello Bandwagon hater

    The list goes on, but while the point is very mute, I will add that integration as you state, isn’t about whites accepting other ethnicities, it’s about other ethnicities holding a life time of grudge and resentment for something they never experienced.

    I’m white, but I don’t give a toss, but if you want to argue the fuck out of history, go for it!


  1159. Fair? This is a term not familiar to the Human race, you must now by hung by a rope tied to an ever so familiar overhanging branch of a tree.


  1160. It’s not anti-white

    It’s anti everything.

    When you come to realise this, you may also earn google revenue and fool the masses.


  1161. “You know, people that post comments on these things are some know-it-all motherfuckers. you guys really know your shit. props.
    retards.”

    Oops, did you and I just contribute Derek?


  1162. I invented Coffee, and wrote the articles you “googled” or pestered Mr Jeeves for.


  1163. You mean there are times when you can throw a race card at someone, please, list them me too, I’m white, but hell, I can still do this right?


  1164. The White Girl in her Twenties

    Racist hah! lol…


  1165. Touche!


  1166. Shut it Jonboy. Stop being a kill-joy.


  1167. once again white people taking ownership to stuff they are not entitled to


  1168. hey. i am white and i fucking hate coffee! basterd.
    WHITE POWER!!!


  1169. Starbucks burns the coffee. Tastes more like used motor oil. And costs about as much as new motor oil :(

    meh, I’ll just brew it myself.


  1170. I’m sitting here at my desk with laugh tears in my eyes. I’m so white, not only white but a White Baby Boomer. This coffee thing describes me embarassingly well!


  1171. I hope you’re joking. The person who writes this is white.
    It’s called satire.


  1172. I am white and I do not and have never liked coffee. Coffee makes you have to poo and fart, I couldn’t imagine drinking it every morning! Or multiple cups!


  1173. you deserve a medal sharon.


  1174. Have to admit, just got back from Italy and the thing I talked about most was the coffee, even more than the red wine which was second.


  1175. I love that this is the first “loved” thing. It deserves it. What would we white people do without our coffee?


  1176. This is a terrible blog. It’s not that it’s offensive; it’s just not funny. I don’t recognize any of the observations being made.


  1177. Are you serious, some of these observations are hilarious. How can you not recognize them? Spend one day in an American city with more than 100,000 people and just look at the stuff white people own. No doubt you’ll see a Starbucks with a line of white people(with some Asian spouses), a bunch of bro’s in some tricked out toyota off-road suv going to climb for the weekend in patagonia clothes, and at least one guy in clothes that were made in a sweat shop before he was born, trying to go faster than you are driving your prius or subaru, on his fixed gear bike to prove any number of self righteous assertions. I think you would literally need to be under a rock to not see this stuff.


  1178. Oh wait, our “culture” is in denial, so you’re forgiven, just buy everything you possibly can to make yourself happy and ignore this stuff.


  1179. You’re an idiot, then.


  1180. on December 23, 2008 at 12:09 pm We're all thinking it

    Drink something that isn’t horribly bitter flavored water.


  1181. on December 23, 2008 at 1:04 pm We're all thinking it

    The point of this farce is just that. There is no true “white” culture anymore. We’ve all been pacified into believing we need to admire and accept all cultures and by doing so will make us a better person, whether or not we truly believe what we’re told. This is the rape of our conscience.
    All other cultures are given the opportunity and encouraged to grow and promote their facets, while “white” culture is suppressed under the banner of diversity. I don’t know about the rest of you but I can clearly see the assimilation of other cutures and how it has bastardized our own.
    Say what you will but our culture is on a downward spiral, and when the next generation takes power it will be lost forever.


  1182. If white people in America have a culture, they celebrate it; Italians, Irish, Russian, Jewish, Czechoslovakian, English. the problem is that America is so diversified that we refuse to see the American culture as OUR culture. I, for one, am part English, Scotch-Irish, Slovenian, and Cherokee, I cannot celebrate all of these cultures because they aren’t mine, i am genetically, but not culturally. Therefore, white people need to learn that the American culture is our culture and everyone else’s that lives in here in addition to their culture. it isn’t decimating, it’s growing and evolving.


  1183. OMGAWD this is SO hillarious and tRUE! OMG the fair trade that is just priceless SO TRUE OMG LMAO


  1184. rasolnikov ….. you’ll find scotch is a drink and the word you were looking for is Scots .

    there should be a section “things that americans like” and number one would be :-

    “claiming to be anything else BUT american “


  1185. Hmmm… it’s interesting that you say that because I have come to believe that is what characterizes Americans.


  1186. Absinthe is where it’s at.


  1187. This blog is called “stuff white people like”, and most of the articles pertain to stuff AMERICAN white people like. I mean, in England, most of us don’t wear outdoor performance clothes and i certainly don’t drink coffee. TEA is the way to go. And might i remind you people that this blog is supposed to be about white people, as in white people in GENERAL. So the title should be changed to American white people, because white people in England or in Germany don’t read the Sunday New York Times.


  1188. I don’t think there was ever a truly “white” culture. When America was colonized there were natives here and then the Italians, Germans, also the Spanish in Florida. There were so many cultures intermixing I don’t think the “American” was ever truly “white”. There has been diversity to this country since the beginning. I think being truly “white” is a farce.


  1189. Ahhhhh, I’m tired and need to wake up . . . I have some black friends that love it as well.

    Ahhhhh, the majority that I work with drink coffee (US by the way)


  1190. list of top ten coffee consuming countries per capita:

    1. Norway
    2. Finland
    3. Denmark
    4. Sweden
    5. Netherlands
    6. Switzerland
    7. Germany
    8. Austria
    9. Belgium
    10. France

    that seems pretty damn white to me….


  1191. I thought #1 would be money. Anyway. I never knew (American) Whites had culture. I thought Whites and Blacks were in the same culturally devoid boat of always finding themselves, adopting other people’s cultures, and “modifying” them to suit their own lifestyles (wearing Kung-Fu slippers with a cabnana pants? Bindi Art and Hebrew tattoos? So taboo.)


  1192. on January 3, 2009 at 9:11 pm triumphant cracker

    you sir…are an idiot….dee deedee…..


  1193. I am white European and hate tea, English tea in particular.


  1194. I would say yes and no to coffee being something white people like.
    Yes, the majority of people that come into the cafe are white people. The types to sit all day and keep ordering stuff while using a laptop are almost all white people.
    Even in formerly black neigborhoods with new white people moving in but still unseen, the cafe is like the crumbs left out which make the mice crawl. Sorry, first metaphor which popped into my head, but what I mean is that many neighborhoods have a lot of white people who just come home from work and hide inside or go out again to places other white people go and you don’t really see them in local bussinesses like barber shops and regular bodegas.
    Anyway, so yes I do see that there is a particular cafe culture that is mostly white.
    However, coffee is so important to so many traditional cultures of non-white peopleI would have to say it is MORE important to them than to white people.
    In Saudi Arabia or Kuwait, you are automatically served with coffee as soon as you visit almost anyone. Coffee doesn’t have that same status amongst europeans.
    If someone gave you coffee it’s nice, but if they served you juice you would still say”what a niced guy”.
    In Saudia Arabia you could serve 15 types of beverages but if there was no coffee at the center of it all as the first thing served and repleneshid constantly they would consider you full of short comings.
    DO NOT HAVE A FEILD DAY ON MY GRAMMER I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR 3 YEARS.


  1195. on January 5, 2009 at 1:46 am The white man with dreads

    That’s cool man I love coffee and being cool this is cool stuff white people like http://www.revoint.com


  1196. Remind me what is the point of this blog?


  1197. Hilarity. Also pointing out people’s self important hipster ways. See gentrification for details.


  1198. I am white, and I simply do not see how one is supposed to enjoy drinking bitterness in liquid form. Perhaps that’s because I’m only half white, the other half is Mexican. It’s all about tea. I do, however, notice that my dad (who is white) drinks coffee almost exclusively when it comes to hot beverages, and my mom (who is mostly Mexican, but was born and grew up in the US) is more open to tea. This nation needs to get over its addiction to coffee, and drink delightful, pure Japanese green tea.


  1199. What is our culture though?
    There is No established “american” culture though…
    I guess big business and gross purchase could be considered our culture, but that’s not our choice…
    the answer is there is NO “american” culture.
    you are who you want to be, you believe what you want to believe, you practice those beliefs how you want to; That is “american culture”


  1200. AHAHA! gigglegiggle yous funny


  1201. AHAHA! gigglegiggle yous got offended! By a BLOG COMMENT!!
    not only a hypocrite, an idiot too!!


  1202. No. 1 should be: Self Deprecating Humor.


  1203. on January 7, 2009 at 10:56 pm da white girl

    Hm… Coffe… uaah…
    Here is how i survive coffe

    Ice coffe: 2/3 vanilla ice cream, 1/3 coffee

    Coffe in a normal cup: at least 3/10 white milk powder (?), about 4/10 sugar, whatever liquid is needed to keep it all drinkable is coffee

    yeah… that’s how i ended up drinking my last cup. haha


  1204. hi
    5k0m6r2pfgbmqy8h
    good luck


  1205. funny but so not true. Your talking about yuppies, not white people. I am white and I love coffee I’ll give you that but starbucks is far too much money for me and when I can afford it I get and Iced chai latte. oh and Jazz sucks ass.


  1206. lol lol lol lol omg lmfao


  1207. amen to that.


  1208. hi
    5k0m6r2pfgbmqy8h
    good luck


  1209. [...] example, on a quick glance, I do like: Girls with bangsCoffeeNot having a [...]


  1210. its funny how white peoples love their coffee, if they found out it is an african drink they would probably spit it out…..

    stick to your own culture all you do is steal from other cultures until you over do it and then you make it look bad……


  1211. on January 13, 2009 at 8:27 pm Desperate Ambrose

    OMG! You mean Kenya’s in AFRICA?!?!

    Ptui!

    (Please note voice dripping sarcasm.)

    Grow up.


  1212. I’m white and i like coffee cold or hot from starbucks, but i also love hot chocolate, tea, and many other drinks. seriously though yomomma no one that I know cares that about where coffee originated its great and idk anyone who could ever spit out the goodness of a starbucks coffee


  1213. Actually, some of the best coffee beans are grown in Africa. For example.. the Kenya blend. I’m white and Kenya is my favorite blend from Starbucks.


  1214. on January 15, 2009 at 9:38 am luvbeingwhite

    Then you stick to your own country a**hole. This shit is just that…shit. Fun to read but get over yourself, white people REALLY don’t want to be you or like you for that matter.


  1215. ‘yomomma’, I take it you’re connected to the Internet and are able to use Google’s search engine.

    If you do, you’ll probably find that although the coffee bean is from Africa, it was first developed into a drink on the Arabian Peninsula (that bit of land where Iraq, Kuwait, Yemen and Saudi Arabia lie).

    As far as I’m aware, Arabia is not and never has been a part of the African continent.


  1216. But was it a white goat or a goat of color that discovered coffee? :)


  1217. I would spit out starbucks!

    The roast is terrible. They just roast thye shit out of it.

    I think if you try some better done roasts you will change your tastes. I used to like Sbucks before I knew bettter.

    I use Intelligentsia. Good roasting and constant revolving of beans based on what’s best at any given time.

    It’s like not having a set menu at a resteraunt but going with what’s seasonably available to ensure you’re serving what’s best.

    See? I get along with white people. I make coffee for them. And they roast the beans for me.

    Keep wearing scarves, bringing your Macs and ordering lattes. I don’t mind at all.

    Could live without the dogs though. Sometimes the outside of the cafe looks like a kennel.

    YUCK!

    YUCK!


  1218. By the way, in Ethiopia they used to mostly eat the berries and cook them in buttter, but drinking it was something special for elders. If you drank coffee as a youth it was seen as pretentious.
    But now it’s widespread and there are espresso machines everywhere. Still not like the old clay pot though.
    Yemeni coffee beans are great. Fruity, complex. But they are not the best at prepearing it.
    The tribes of Northern Arabian Penisnsulae are good at coffee. North Najd, like Hayel, Shammari tribe. Wonderful coffee and attention to purity. Well known people for that, there are even families known for the best coffee for a century, even one family known al al Thalmawi meaning the people who really know coffee and take pleasure in it.
    Cofffee isn’t white.
    Coffee brings humans together. Everyone adds something to the universal language of coffee.
    Noow in Asia the siphon is gettting big.
    The Japanese are bringing a lot of exact science to coffee.
    Embrace coffee.
    Embrace universal communication.
    Spend money in cafes everywhere.
    Support your local barista, especially minority ones.
    Lol
    Yall some funny people.


  1219. Was very excited as where I went this morning had many items from the list of Stuff White People Like including
    1) Coffee in 2) San Francisco with an event I found out about through the Sunday New York Times.


  1220. I like coffee, but I like it black! Oh, the irony!!


  1221. I like my coffee like my women, sweet & black!!


  1222. I like my tea how I like my women – loose.


  1223. as if there’s an alternative?… flat white?


  1224. Hah, flat white would be warm milk!


  1225. Wait …. #1 isn’t BLOGS? You got to be kidding me, I thought that was a dead giveaway. I mean, really, they are so hip and new-age. Plus, they are a great way to raise Awareness.

    Or is Mr. Landers a true mastery of irony.

    Provide “white people” a blog about “white people”, esp. in list format — we love lists! –, add some sarcasm, perhaps a dash of irony….and PRESTO — watch the visitors and comments just pile up.

    Well done Sir. Bravo


  1226. i’m white but I like tea, does that mean there is something wrong with me? well I admit I am blonde and southern…..that might be the problem.


  1227. Coffee is proof that God loves us.


  1228. You forgot that white people secretly love pointing out petty differences between races, even at their own expense.


  1229. Not quite. Flat white is an Australian drink generally made with an ⅓ espresso and ⅔ steamed milk. The volumised milk is prepared by folding the top layer into the lower layers.


  1230. Oh snap! :) Good one.


  1231. How about “on the kitchen table”? ;)


  1232. White people like: Slumdog Millionaire. Makes them feel all global and transnational and caring-about-the-downtrodden. Shows fashionable contempt for Hollywood products.
    “Hey, I loved this movie, and it was made about INDIA!” (by a white director)


  1233. Some white people actually prefer tea but tend to suppress their preference for several reasons.

    1) Brits drink it — which makes the drinker an imperialist, a snob, or effeminate.

    2) Russians drink it — and Russia lost most of its’ recently acquired fun factor after Yeltsin was replaced by Putin.

    3) Indians drink it — and like the Brits, they also like cricket. ‘Nuff said.


  1234. [...] high points and the low points of this historic event.   Things mentioned that white people like: Fair Trade Coffee. Special K’s Favourite Morning Show: Breakfast Televsion.  Homophobes Mentioned: Rick [...]


  1235. Ah, ha, ha, ha! Witty.


  1236. Im in the W K or White Kindom and why didnt you make a list of what white people hate that would be fun for everyone


  1237. Sorry if the comment bellow has already been covered. I just discovered this gem of a blog. And I dont feel like read a million comments. Especially since only half are funny comments and the other half are angry minorities that don’t see the joke… or angry whites that don’t “get” the joke either. Blah blah blah…

    Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean?!?! Wow! That is so yuppie 1999! Maybe that is the slight but distinct difference between Cool White Person as Yuppie vs Cool White Person as Hipster. Both groups are covered on the blog. And both are from the same genus but different species.

    Yuppie = Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean

    Hipster= Small artisan coffee shop.

    And to show off ( Im not even white!) I will even drop some knowledge on a few Hipster Coffee Gems:

    Stumptown, Black Water, Satellite, Ritual, Vivace, Cafe Vita, Blue Bottle… too many to name. That list covers Seattle, Tacoma, Portland down to SF.

    If ya want to step your game up, stop going to Starbucks. Or if your are there with your white friends, be sure to impress them by dissing the Tamping skill of the barista.


  1238. But only the coolest of these white people drink…

    Loose Leaf Tea.

    And always from a store that smells like nutmeg and cranberries and has the jars along the wall in the back with the tea in them. Only to be touched by a very Asian looking wooden spoon bought at Pier1 Imports (made by Hondurans). Oh and its really dim in the store, the only light is from candles and a few wrought iron sconces. Oh, and the girl helping you has bangs.


  1239. Loose leaf? Bwahahaha, that’s funny! Only white people think tea served outside a Lipton sack is something unique. I think somewhere in Backwater, China or BootyF***, India, “loose leaf” is the only choice for drinking tea. Those mesh bags cost money.

    Love this site. Especially because it inspires the most stupefying of stupid comments from stupid people who just don’t get that all this is pure sarcasm. I mean, I’m not even of Caucasian descent, and some of these things embarrass me (because of the stuff I like). But I’m laughing. At the points and at the comments. Keep it up, White People! It’s brilliant.


  1240. You just disregarded Intelligentsia!!!!

    The only decent white people are behind counters with tamps in their hands.

    Everybody else has to go back to the North Pole.


  1241. Really Sir!

    Keep your depraved fantasies to yourself!!!


  1242. Great point! But these cool white people are willing to spend the money on loose leaf because they know something the others don’t. But also note that cheap lipton tea sells so well because the “other white people” aka not cool white people don’t care about quality. Its all about mass produced and cheap goods bought at Wall-mart. People in the places you mentioned don’t think loose leaf is a big deal because all natural quality loose leaf tea is not a yuppie trend, but a genuine lifestyle centuries old. And lipton is cheap garbage. Those bags are basically paper towels and the powder inside that is suppose to be tea is the powder left behind the bottom of the canisters of quality tea that was sold to Trader Joe’s to be bought by cool white people. But you’re right, go to one of the places you listed and you’ll find they don’t go ga-ga over some exotic loose leaf tea… because that tea is an everyday thing.

    And I think you and I are on similar wave lengths. I am also not white but can relate. Sort of. I think its because growing up in the Bay Area and having white friends from SF, Oakland, and Berkeley you realize how cool, cool white people are. I am almost a shamed to admit that I can sometimes be the token minority hipster. Although I try not to be. But they [whites] are still confused by me… I am from the hood. So they are puzzled that I like Mos Def, Jack Johnson, The Mars Volta… AND also listen to Nelly and Young Jeezy. I like yuppies and hipsters, but make no mistake, I don’t want to be white, Im proud of who I am. I am just as comfortable eating crepes in Berkeley with white people as I am eating chicken wings in East Oakland with thugs and hustlers.

    And speaking of cool white people, as a minority I am definitely in a bubble. My white friends are from the Bay Area, Portland, Tacoma, and Seattle. So I let my guard down. But at least once or twice a year my travels bring me to a upper-class conservative suburb or a small poor hick town and after a few conversations with those white people I am reminded: “ Oh Yeah! THIS is why I am suppose to HATE white people!” Leave it to a stop in a red state/county/city to make me hate white people. But it only last a day or two.

    Oh yeah, I also enjoy the comments of people that just don’t get it. Sarcasm is lost in this country. I love reading the replies of an uptight whitey or an angry [insert minority]. Although the angry minority makes me cringe more


  1243. What part? The white girl with bangs? Minorities that hang out with cool white people love white girls with bangs. Or any alternative white chick. Ah man… I love me some Karen O!


  1244. We are already friends. Excellent choice. I put you on a special status of Super Cool White Person.

    Can you teach these other white people that are borderline cool to jump in the water… enough with the Starbucks.

    We can go all day with coffee joints. The ones I mentioned are relatively well known amongst the indie shops. Dont get me started on the even smaller obscure coffee places… I’ll put most white hipsters to shame!


  1245. I also forgot to add that in these stores there is always at least one poster of a non specific ethic man [ is he Malaysian, Indonesian, African?] that is picking tea with a very stoic look on his face. White people like stoic minorities.


  1246. Not white or hipster though lol.

    I do accept white hipster patronage.

    Thanks you all. Feel free to bring your ibooks.


  1247. Yeah Lipton’s pretty bad stuff.

    It’s funny how in the Middle East Lipton will actually sponsor local resteraunts somehow and the whole sign winds up being a huge Red Label or Yellow Label sign.

    Every Indian ghetto in the Gulf seems to have a few of these Lipton resteraunts.

    “Lipton. #1 Wherever You Go”.

    They actually call any teapog a Lipton the way people used to call photocopies Xeroxs.


  1248. Teabag before I get ganged up on by the extra anal spell checkers.

    I’m sure this one doesn’t pass either becuse I left out the dashes and maybe teabag is tea bag.

    Unless you’re getting paid for it, proofreading and spell checking is really nuerotic ant-social shit.


  1249. What minorities love….

    1. Using the white man as a scape goat cause their to lazy to fix a problem their selves.

    2. A white person tried to be your friend and suddenly now you think, they think that their cool.

    3. Complaining..

    4. Making a pointless website that generalize an entire race.


  1250. Do you need a hug?

    What’s great about your post is #4. Um, you also wrote #1 as well. I see a conflict in there somewhere.

    Oh well.


  1251. Learn to spell before you post please. thanks.


  1252. 1. *because … *they’re … *themselves …

    2. what?

    3. ok.

    4. the author of this website is white.


  1253. have you ever heard of satire? or was that a weak attempt at creating your own satire?


  1254. Haha. Yeah.

    Well, aside from “scape goat” which I think is actually one word, It’s not spelling that is the issue for this fine man, but rather grammar. Apparently he missed the day in elementary when they discussed:

    They’re
    Their
    There

    I think he only knows “THEIR” and uses it on all occasions. But what do I know, I’m a lazy minority and I should talk like this…

    Ahhh shheeit cracka yous be racsisist and stuff. Ya know what im sayin. Why you be playa hatin on me like dat son.


  1255. “Not white or hipster though lol”

    What?! No way. Dude there can’t be two of us in here. We should form a group called: MWTWFA [ Minorities Who Tolerate White Friends Alliance]. The name is a work in progress but the logo is dope… its a black arm and brown arm cradling a white baby. And the baby has a Cold Play T-shirt. Yessss.

    Since you are on this blog AND you have Cafe Owner in your name, I already had your entire life played out in my head…

    You’re a 34 year old white boy from [insert yuppie town usa here] who worked as a Graphic Designer/Marketing Director/Advertising Director (pick one) after college. You made decent money but not rich. Ya know, Volvo S40 and 3 series BMW money, NOT Volvo S60 and 5 series BMW money. But on a trip to the east coast you stopped into legendary indie coffee shop, Murky’s, in Arlington. There you were in awe of the passion and care put into the place. So on your return home you got depress and took a year off (see post #120). You decided to go to third world coffee growing regions (see post #19). Sometime around your Panama trip you decided you would start a small coffee shop with a fine attention to detail and passion. You furnish the place either modern (see post #79) or vintage (see post #49). And you name it something like “The Yellow Rocket” or “My dog jenny”. Now your life is complete.

    And if your place is in the North West it is mandatory that at least one of your baristas has red hair, a scraggly beard(most important!), a tattoo, rides a fixed gear bike (google it if you’re not with me) and thick black rim glasses.

    Wow. I hang out with waaaaaay too many white people. I think a trip to my old neighborhood in Oakland is in order. Anyway, but noooo you have to ruin it by proving this wrong. You’re not white?! WTF? You cant own a quality coffee shop then. You at least have the scraggly Portland hipster beard right? Even if your cafe is in NY, the Portland look is a must for cafe owners under 40.

    Oh, and I cant afford an iBook. But I know a guy named June Bug in Oakland that can get me… never mind.


  1256. lol You are insane!

    I’m in the North East of Middle Eastern/Spanish descent and don’t have any white friends. I don’t own a car and the only coffee producing country I’ve ever been to is Yemen.

    umm…how’s your milk steaming skills? You want a job?


  1257. Hey hey buddy, don’t forget Im from the Bay Area… in San Francisco’s Castro district, ask a man about his milk steaming skills will get you a pretty interesting answer! (That was a gay joke, so for those keeping track I’ll be waiting for post #101 to come into play here)

    Unfortunately being a coffee snob has yet to increase my steaming and tamping skills. But I’m sure I can do as good as the average Starbucks barista! Haha! But I am definitely a spoon and pour guy… for the life of me when steaming on a pro machine I can not get a full pitcher of smooth, dense, velvety foam to free pour. Mmmmm, velvety foam. Do you use a french press? Perhaps you can pay me to stand there with the timer. 3 minutes is optimal, not the standard 4. Unless you are super fancy (and loaded) and have a Clover machine, in which case you can pay me to keep it constantly polished. Stumptown sold there Clovers after Starbucks bought the company that makes them. Ok, I’m in coffee geek mode now, I’m sure Im losing most of you.

    Thanks for the offer though! Much Appreciated, I could use a extra job! Im a broke ass minority. Besides Im on the west coast. BUT… If you ever stop selling to East Coast elitist white hipsters and move over to the west cost to open shop and sell to even the cooler West Coast elitist liberal white hipsters… holla at ya boy here. Maybe I can help. My ethnic background is Mexican… so obviously I’ll be washing your coffee cup and saucer dishes (#101 anyone?)

    you can find me here: http://blog.jerardestudio.com/

    Oh by the way, in California you won’t be of “Middle Eastern/Spanish descent”… you are Mexican. No seriously. Or Indian/Pakistani. Trust me, don’t argue with the well meaning white folks. Just nod and say “Si Senor”. It’s not worth it.


  1258. Damn it. Because I corrected a guy earlier, I feel silly that I didn’t catch my own error. I meant to say:

    “Stumptown sold THEIR Clovers after Starbucks…”

    There’s probably other typo’s as well. But who gives a shit. Im posting on a blog to people I will never meet. Blah blah blah.


  1259. White people are the minority on this planet and, if you want to talk about lazy, lazy is enslaving others to do your work and then building machines to do it when slavery stops working out.

    Oh, and thanks for all the weapons of mass destruction. Nice going.


  1260. I love this site. But you REALLY need to add ONE more itty-bitty thing that WP like.

    “Offering Unsolicited Advice”


  1261. It’s hard to make a good point when you don’t have a firm grasp of the English language.


  1262. Julie, you are right about that! LOL!


  1263. Wow! Someone is bitter and wrong to boot! Geez! Go get a cup o’ Joe.. LOL!


  1264. Jerarde – Do you know what a craker (aka: cracka) really is? I do and nobody I have ever known has fit the description ;-)


  1265. Sorry, CRACKER…typed too fast! Oops!


  1266. In response to the post by “truth” we should add to the list:

    White people love saying stupid stuff anonymously on the internet.


  1267. Are you offended? No seriously. This is awkward. I am usually pretty good at picking up sarcasm and or joking comments. But I can’t place the context of your comment into any category. And the “wink” doesn’t help either! So, you want a real response…

    No, have have do idea what a cracker is or the origins of the word. Please enlighten me if you know. I just thought it was funny. And if you have read any of my other post you can judge my character a little more, providing you take everything I say with a grain of salt. I say it as a form of endearment for my fellow white citenzens ;-)

    The word is absurd and silly. And it makes me laugh, almost as much as honkey :-)


  1268. I think it’s like a back-cracker, KKK type who would lynch us both. It’s more sinister than honkey cause that came from white people honking their horns for prostitutes in the ghetto where they were afraid to come out of the car.

    I use it too though. Words meanings change over time. Now a cracker is just a white person, ussually an unsophisticated southern redneck type.

    Or, as Sonny Brown’s mom told him in Manchild in the Promised land..he said that sometimes his mom called some white people crackers, and some white people Jews, so he said “mama, what’s the difference between a cracker and a Jew?”

    So she said “alll white people are mean and stingy, but if they mean more than the are stingy they crackers, and if they stingy more than they are mean they jews.”

    DO NOT GET ALL HYPE ABOUT THIS CALL ME NAMES OR CORRECT MY SPELLING AND GRAMMER. IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS YALL.

    AND…if people don’t like you, there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s what my friend’s black Jamaican grandfather ntold him when he started whining abotu racism, and it goes both ways.

    So what if I don’t like you?


  1269. Evidently white people also like spelling and grammatical errors:

    1. It should say “they’re too lazy,” not “their to lazy.” Also, “themselves” rather than “their selves.”

    2. Should say “now you think that they think that they’re cool” or some variation. Point: the comma was unnecessary and you again used the wrong form of their/they’re/there.

    3. Only when there is only one word is every word typed correctly. It should have three periods, though. …

    4. You must mean “generalizes” — with an s. Also, I’m pretty sure that’s an improper use of the term ‘race.’ I think it’s actually considered an ethnicity. I’m not 100% on that, though.

    I am tempted to comment on the fact that white people also seem to really enjoy butchering the English language… But non-whites don’t really have any room to talk about that either, as it is actually a common pastime shared by all ethnic groups.


  1270. Wow. You are an arrogant, superficial prick. You spent way too much time analyzing that guy’s writing style, and not the actual content.


  1271. Just relax and do right.
    After all shouldn’t we be “whities trying to do righty”?


  1272. Actually, I found the corrective entry quite refreshing. I have forgotten how frustrating and maddening it is to read the rambling of random people. Yet, I have never forgotten that racism has never taken a day off in America. I invite those who realize that true change begins within to do as Obama does in the face of opposition, hatred, false expectations and personal attacks- take it in stride and keep your cool, stay focused and never let them see you sweat. I know. I can. I will.


  1273. on January 29, 2009 at 4:22 pm Just another anonymous white person

    This may be said someplace else in the comments, and if so, I apologize for the duplication.

    The term “cracker” is largely believed to be derived from the “cracking of the whip” and was coined by slaves (of unverified descent or orign). He who cracked the whip was referred to as a cracker.

    I did actually know this without Wikipedia, but suggest that Wikipedia be added to the list.


  1274. Very funny as a whole…but you forgot another really white one…Gardening, we white people love to “garden”!!!!!!


  1275. I thought it was because they are bland and boring… like a saltine…


  1276. A cracker is someone who shucked the husks of corn to be used in the making of white lightning (moonshine)…
    Just another way slang has been misinterpreted and turned into a derogatory-racist term! There are more! Have a great evening!


  1277. Really? True? How do I verify this? And if it is true… you’re so not funny with your knowledge and stuff. Nobody like a show off. Although a white guy making a drink called “white lighting” is making me chuckle a little. Just a little.


  1278. What pointing out all the differences in grammatically correct use of they’re, their and there is not showing off? Tsk, tsk… Pot calling the kettle…Black? Oh no! There I go again and I can see that since I am being a show off I need to stop I guess. Oh well, c’est la vie (from just another white girl)…. Have a nice weekend y’all (no I am not from Texas, I am a Californian…..)


  1279. Jerarde…Here is a site that supports the definition I gave although I admit not the ONLY definition of it but I like it and I am sticking to it! http://www.gurl.com/findout/label/pages/0,,686730,00.html
    Check it out.
    Enjoy- Ciao!


  1280. that was my attempt at humor. this site is entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. I usually don’t like it when the post turn serious. But your information was welcomed, I was serious when I originally asked for it. Interesting answer.

    California? Only cool white people are from Northern Cali (Bay Area). LA has some cool white hipsters and yuppies. They would be cooler if they weren’t always coked-up down there! And thought the world revolved around them. Haha :-)

    Thanks for the info. Good lookin out kiddo.

    Keep it real white girl.


  1281. This is ridiculous. After reviewing the list there are only like 5 things on here that are semi-exclusive white people likes. Other than that mostly everything on this list is liked by all races. I know Mexican people will drink coffee all day long with every meal. The Barack Obama thing is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever read. Apparently most of the country liked President Obama when the election rolled around, and ask the folks in the GOP who are predominantly white, I’ll bet you’ll get a different answer than the ones posted here. I can’t believe people are investing their time on this, or that I am. I linked to this page hoping that it would be funny, instead it’s just dumb. I mean what’s next on the list? Beer, then an explanation about how white people like Heineken, or the varieties of beer on the shelves. This list is the worst attempt at anything I have ever seen. Even if, as I’ve read, this is supposed to be satire, it’s still ridiculous. If you don’t know any white people, to know what white people like, I suggest finding a white person to befriend, and you may find they like the exact same things you like. For example the white person you become friends with may also enjoy coffee, President Obama, and maybe, just maybe they might enjoy their ipod or iphone, or other apple product. It’s amazing how incredibly stupid this country has become to find something like this worthy of anything. Go read a book people, watch some news, learn something, stop blaming government for not being able to do anything when your time is used reading this garbage instead of making your lives better.


  1282. do you seriously think WP invented slavery? WP like to study cross cultural trends in world history to learn that slavery has been practiced by every society on the planet.


  1283. COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE! Us white people sure do love coffee.


  1284. Jerarde!!! I can not believe you left out PEET’s Coffee!! Now I AM insulted! Us white people like our peet’s coffee too, not just Starbucks! LOL! Bye again…from the cool No. Calif Bay area white girl ;-)


  1285. Re “Cracker”, gee, I didn’t know it was derogatory, I must be behind the times. In N. Fla. it’s the term used to describe Southern “whites” who have lived there for a few generations, are/were agrarian based landholders who did not retire to Florida from somewhere in the NE urban scene. In general, by my experience, it is a positive reference. WP like to be identified as “Florida Cracker” in my old neighborhood.


  1286. Okay, I guess I better redefine my idea of what’s good about being from the South, if none other than Wikipedia is going to define Crackers as slave owning whip cracking WP. Gee, I had no idea. We’uns in N. Fla. just thought we were hard working WP who happened to farm ‘maters and melons with our own WP hands and a tractor. The only whip that I ever saw cracked was the one my pappy cracked at us so we would do our homework. Uh oh, I guess I must be revealing that under my hipster veneer I’m really just a redneck.


  1287. You forgot to add this one to the list…
    Always having to show others how superior we are.
    We always have to be right and makes others feel stupid.


  1288. on January 29, 2009 at 8:01 pm Midwestern Elitist White Hipster

    – This guy is fantastic!

    Jerarde, you should work with the authors of this site. They definitely could use a more diverse cultural input for their blog/book. A book with a white/asian/mexican team would be unstoppable! All they would need is a black guy and it would go from satire to encyclopedic! :D


  1289. white people love Wayne Brady

    the true #1


  1290. I like beer!! And coffee.


  1291. Beans are God, praise the Bean, love the Bean, Worship the Bean…The Bean Loves you.

    These are Hilarious.

    What if you’re a Gay white person, does that still mean I seek the ultimate friend, a gay?


  1292. Red! My new friend.

    Peet’s! You didn’t even have to say you’re a No. Cal girl after that.

    Ahhh, Berkeley’s (and the entire Bay Areas) beloved Peet’s. I’ll give Peet’s an honorable mention. They are clearly a step or two above Starbucks. In fact Peet’s is down right good! You can find me at many a Peet’s around the east bay… 4th street Berkeley is my personal fav! I’m probably losing all of you on this one (Im ditching the usual fun anonymous any-town usa internet post for actually being a real person and giving specifics) The area around 4th street Berkeley is white people, people watching paradise!!! Peet’s, Sur La Table, Design Within Reach, Crate & Barrel, The Pasta Shop gourmet food, and a dozen other small boutique stores… White people flock to Berkeley’ 4th Street shopping area like flies on… you get the point. Back to Peet’s. Its good. BUT… once you become a full fledged coffee snob like me, Peet’s no longer cuts it! Go to Ritual in SF to find out what a real cafe is supposed to serve. Or the greatest the west coast has to offer is StumpTown in Portland. Sometimes I don’t even drink my Stumptown order, I just cradled the cup like a baby and rock it while whispering I love you.

    So, yeah, throw Peet’s up on my list in the honorable mention category.


  1293. Wow. I would give you a freakin trophy right now if I could!

    I just spit my coffee out!

    Nice :-)


  1294. Thanks for enlightening me. I was almost taking this site serious until you shown me the error of my ways.

    You lose all credibility after your second sentence. So there are 5 things on the list that are semi-exclusive white people?

    I’m pretty confident that most of the white (and minority) people that think this is blog funny, in a “real world” and or serious conversation, would agree that not a single item on the list is exclusive to whites.

    But they don’t say so. Why? Because you don’t come here to be serious. It’s entertainment.


  1295. THANKS!

    I wasn’t expecting that, so I don’t have a witty or otherwise wise crack remark. So instead of being awkward, I’ll just accept the compliment and say thanks.

    On a serious note(sorry for the buzz kill), yes, there’s definitely something to your idea regarding more diversity. I think an extension of this blog with more of an ensemble of writers would be great and entertaining. But you would have to play on the theme of how this blog is written. It’s written as a mock guide for non-whites (but obviously written for white people) that have white friends and or interact with white people. So perhaps a cast of minority writers that could talk about their adventures with white people. I don’t know… now I’m thinking too much about it.

    For now, I’m just a happy viewer of the blog. Its funny and witty. This is my first week having discovered the site. You can’t get rid of me now! You will definitely be seeing more of my commentary in the future….


  1296. Whoa! Great question! Here’s my answer…

    YES. BUT… your gay friend will be a Black contemporary dancer from NY or SF that grew up in the south with their overbearing grandmother. Yep. that’s it.

    But you may want a second opinion. I am neither gay or white. But I have lots of gay friends. I try not to introduce them as “This is my gay friend…”. I only do that when I am around straight white yuppies that have yet to find their ultimate gay friend. I just do it to show off.


  1297. I want to go there. I want to meet that girl. I want to drink that tea.

    Of course, I’ll have to stop off at Starbucks first. Do a bit of frontloading, ya know, to make the buzz real.


  1298. White people love quirky irrelevant books destined for the remainder bin.


  1299. Why WOULDN’T you buy fair trade? Is it so wrong to want to not exploit the guys who pick your beans?

    This is lame.

    Assuming the rest of the sight is as “clever” as this first thread…..I’m outtie.


  1300. Chill! It’s just a satire about generalizations and stereotypes! Enjoy


  1301. Jerarde – MY new friend!
    I love that area in Bezerkley that you mentioned! I got my Northern Face jacket at the outlet there and love Sur Le Table! I am a coffee snob also, actually I have never heard of Ritual in S.F. but next time i head to the City I will check it out, thanks for the tip! I was just thinking, it is only white people who scuba dive too? I scuba dive, haven’t in a while but I don’t recall seeing any realy diversity on the boat or at the dive resort I stayed at when I went! Maybe this is a topic for a whole new thread? LOL! My boyfriends buddy pointed him to this website (his friend is not white) and I have been cracking up reading some of the stuff. I will confess, I do also love Hummus and was crying at my desk at work during lunch reading it, pretty funny stuff! Happy Friday all!


  1302. You know… I am really dissapointed that you have not mentioned “A Prairie Home Companion” anywhere in your blogs…. nothing is better than a cup of hot cup of “Joe” and the voice of Garrison Keeler singing about his biscuts…


  1303. ha ha ha ha ha you out nut-shelled the supreme nut-sheller!


  1304. Actually I PREFER only coffee from exploited farmers! You can taste the pain and hardship with every sip. It’s just what I need in the morning to start my long day clubbing baby seals.


  1305. Re Fair Trade coffee: Why wouldn’t you pay more for a product that allows you to feel good about your political correctness?


  1306. Mmm…and nothing beats the flavored Dunkin’ Donuts Coffees :)


  1307. I spit my yogurt and granola all over my monitor laughing at your comment.


  1308. Scuba diving is definitely a white thang. Here’s why.

    You’ll have to watch BET’s Comic view for your answer. The last time I was watching reruns at 2am there was always at least one joke regarding scuba diving. I will condense it to the bare essentials…

    “White people do some crazy stuff. Scuba diving. Shark cages! They pay for this. White boy gets his arm bitten off. Uh uh not me. White peoples is crazy ya’ll.”

    This joke also works well with kayaking, sky diving, and bungee jumping.

    We [minorities] also don’t trust the white man and feel that if we went we would be given the broken scuba gear.

    I hope that clarifies it for you!

    And yes I love humus. But I mostly keep it around for my white guest. That and some brie! (I know that just sealed the deal and proved I am a friend to the white man)


  1309. lando

    And my comment was just a satire about generalizations and stereotypes and quite apropos, even if I do say so myself.

    chill and enjoy


  1310. I get it now! Ahhh. Well your delivery sucks. I mean that in the nicest way. I think people here are getting tired and jaded with all the people that don’t get the joke. So we’re quick to jump on a humorless and self righteous comment. I can see how yours was taken out of context. Work on your comedic timing.

    I am a huge proponent of Fair Trade goods. Don’t get me started on the virtues of Fair trade coffee. But that is a topic better left for a social political blog or even a coffee specific one. But not here. Here is where white people are allowed to, as they say in my hood, act a foo. Its silly.

    And I will also chill and enjoy. It’s time for a break. These baby seals are giving me a run for my money today.


  1311. Gross! I just barfed a little.

    Next you’re going to tell me Budweiser is good beer.


  1312. Thanks :-) I try.

    Don’t you mean your organic yogurt and Trader Joe’s granola?

    And if you’re a health nut white guy then you also spit out some dried flax seed you sprinkled on top.

    All that stuff is expensive. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you… later for lunch I’ll buy you an expensive arugula and pesto mango chutney chicken(free range) sandwich.


  1313. This is also why I only help the poor during Christmas. Sure they’re starving in July. But its just not as satisfying.


  1314. wow, I love my coffee, but never been to a starbucks…. I don’t support yuppy temples.


  1315. Brilliant.


  1316. Satire about generalizations and stereotypes are all good and well until you start hitting too close to someone’s carefully crafted self-identity…

    Then it is “hate speech”.


  1317. Tim Horton’s! there isn’t anything better then timmies coffee. Even if we make it at home everyone knows they perfer timmies. I am in Canada but Tim Hortons is now in the States too!


  1318. My ex only used to buy fair trade and would make a scene about helping the environment and the working-class when iHOP told him they don’t serve FTC…That’s another thing white people like: Communism


  1319. So, I guess that means that that black people like…tea?

    Check it out:
    http://blackmaps.wordpress.com/2009/01/26/a-poem-as-lovely-as-hot-tea/


  1320. If I said malt liquor… how many white people would be embarrassed and a shamed to admit they laughed at that.


  1321. If I said malt liquor… how many white people would be embarrassed and a shamed to admit they laughed at that.

    Stop laughing, you racist! ;-)

    On a serious note, Thanks for sharing that article/blog post. Interesting blog. I like it, it’s a good read.


  1322. This whole poll is nothing but a money generator from ads, there is no mention of Metallica or Freebird. Also, no guns, pickup trucks, or fishing. And doesn’t every race have things that they love? Aisans love saki and rice, Africans love colt45 and Bar-B-Que chicken, Hispanics like tequila and flat bread that once folded, can be named a hundred different things.

    This all seems a bit racist to me. Or I could be wrong. I do not think that racism actually applies when it is targeted toward white people, I think that most other races feel whites are unfeeling monsters, and, with no feelings, are not affected by petty drivel.

    >Shrugs<


  1323. w00t, I prefer Vodka to beer, I’ve never had that “acquired” taste for Beer, sadly, others in my family have such poor taste.

    ” nothing like waking up and getting my day started by tasting the Pain and hardship in my first cup of brew”

    “This is also why I only help the poor during Christmas. Sure they’re starving in July. But its just not as satisfying”

    HAAAAAaa, intense, I must agree, that was/is something that burns me up, only at Christie Time you see the airwaves bogged down with pasty white yuppies crying out “help our neighbors in this time of need, we only need to do this once a year, and hey, we’ll use it as a tax ride off in January”


  1324. New Life Goal: Find a gay Black contemporary hipster dancer from NY that Grew up in Alabama, with an Overbearing Control freak of a Grandmother, that drinks Budweiser, and only buys FTC Java, and only gives to Charities at Christie Time, and eats Young yuppie Children’s brains for a midday snack.


  1325. After finishing this list, I think its high time White People give up many of these obviously passe and played out past times that we always pretended to be into anyway, and kick it really old school: colonialism and unapologetic racial supremacy! C’mon, its in our pure, undiluted blood! Let’s start wearing knickers, hoop skirts and wigs again, restore monarch rule over all the former colonies, employ coolies to kart us around places like Annapolis, MD and Bermuda; and this time, no more damn philosophy – let’s really mean it!

    Seriously, coffee tastes better when you know swarthy people have been exploited by it; and let’s face it, sea salt, Crocs and Public Enemy all suck and are now threats to your integrity. Cut off your dreadlocks and embrace the only cultural instincts you now know to be true!

    For God and King Richard!!!


  1326. Boy am I embarrassed, the author is a geeky, slavic looking dude. Incredible! Disregard most of my posts, except maybe the asian girl thing, I have never had the pleasure of finding out.


  1327. Okay, haven’t done the shark diving thing…YET! But, i do want to:-) The other stuff, especially the sky diving and bungee jumping isn’t for me but I like the joke, very witty! You are cracking me up with al of your replies..nice to see that someone (other than me, the white girl) has a sense of humor and can laugh at myself…and others of course! LOL! Wait, is LOL a white thang too! ha ha ha! Is that better?


  1328. I think he is suggesting more of the suburban white people who go to college and are yuppies as opposed to rural rednecks. Although I do believe his list is incomplete, but he has hit a majority of this shit on the head. I know for a fact I can point out at least a majority of my white friends portraying 50% or more of their devotion for things on this list. haha.


  1329. I have spend the last 2 hours at work reading your post, excellent work! Some I agree and applaud, some I agree with but not all fit in. Asian girls I have little interest in, never had a “yellow fever”, however I am highly interested in african american girls, have always had that attraction for african american girls.

    As for coffee, I stand sorta on the odd line, maybe I pasted the “tea” post, if there is one, but I prefer tea a whole lot more than coffee. The teas I like are usually higher quality teas, that make Tazo tea’s look like the Twining tea brand. Rishi is about the lowest in quality I’ll go.

    However, I do agree, that it seems like the majority enjoy coffee. I think a lot of the coffee liking stems from a liking of the Cafe environments.

    Great work over all!


  1330. Thanks.

    Yeah it’s starting to bother me. For every one person like you reading and enjoying this blog, there are a dozen others that are completely confused. Its frustrating. I love reading the post written by the author, the guy is too damn funny. Then I like to browse the comments to get more laughs and participate in a little internet socializing… but then you have to filter through all the comments from rednecks and uptight minorities. But I am preaching to the choir… you’re cool.

    Oh, and LOL is sooo white!


  1331. Haha, that FAIR TRADE stuff is so true!


  1332. I dont like coffee at all thanks!


  1333. OMG! So you’re totally not white then?!?! What are you? Let me guess…


  1334. on January 30, 2009 at 6:02 pm Its Dr to you

    Coffee is something I thing everyone likes. As a minority, I love my starbucks, small coffee shops and any coffee that is made in Indonesia and Africa….. oh yeah I like the Hawaiian Kona and Jamaican Blue Mountain.


  1335. You’d like it if you were in some God forsaken military post or ship, bone tired and freezing your ass off, trying to stay awake.


  1336. Actually the white people coffee phenom started in those late fifties early sixties sitcoms like Leave it to Beaver and My Three Sons. It was the only beverage consumed since alcohol was too dramatic and soft drink ties in had not been developed. All you had was Ward Cleaver and Mr. Douglas with their coffee cups.

    This all followed the WWII movie phenomena where all the pilots and GI’s ususally white went around all jacked up on caffeine and whacked the Germans and Japanese. The Axis forces were fueled by dictators and mad dogma. But the Allies were all coffee and tea for the Brits.

    Continuing on with the trend today are the trailer park methlabs and toothless methanphetamine junkies. They all started on coffee you know. Just as crack is the drug of choice to charaterize the inner city, Meth rules the open range.


  1337. If you are a curious American reading this, be warned! I’m from Canada, and Tim Hortons coffee is dirty water – on par with Folgers and other tin-can coffee brands. I think most Canadians like it only because they drink it as a “double-double” so the poorness of the coffee is masked by the cream and sugar. However, I must admit that their donuts and snacks are far better and more reasonably priced than Starbucks.


  1338. Coffee makes me shit.


  1339. thats funny cuz i was taking a thermos to school in 6th grade… all the Mexicans thought i was crazy


  1340. Actually, I adopted a child from Guatemala who already drank coffee at the age of four. Apparently that is pretty common in Central america, I have heard subsequently.
    So white people starting in high school are really coffee slackers


  1341. Exactly. I dropped into this blog because I read about it on cnn.com and heard about the book coming out. I’m pretty disappointed with the list because it’s full of stuff that I don’t really like. I thought it would be a lot more ‘ah-ha!-ish’ for me. Disappointed. Although, now that I’ve said all that, maybe a new addition to the list should be ‘white people like to think that they know what other white people like.’


  1342. was it written by a white person?


  1343. no no no white people now are all into monsters and energy drinks and shit like that 100 years ago coca cola was the hardcore stuff


  1344. I get it. Being socially responsible is funny to you.

    asshole

    it’s got nothing to do with pc, and everything to do with people who live in shacks being able to afford walls, plumbing, and medical care. i know you’re too full of yourself and your own snarky hack jokes, but you either are incredibly ignorant, or just a selfish prick. probably both.

    exploitation isn’t some abstract pc concept. it’s real, and you are supporting it.

    good job.

    hope you get stomach cancer, prick.


  1345. I’ve never seen such a bunch or pricks in one place. first of all, nobody said anything about hate speech. i know it’s the only thing some of you know how to talk about, but it’s seriouly irrelevent.

    exploitation is real, and it’s easy to take small steps to counter it – fair trade practices being one of them.

    there’s really no excuse not to do it, other than laziness and selfishness. and then of course, you will use humor and such to wall yourself off from having to give a damn or do something.

    it’s immature and shitty of you.


  1346. Dude, I’m totally the white girl sipping on her Starbuck’s! It totally helps wake me up, so that’s awesome when I have competitions for which I wake up at 4 in the morning. Not the first person to drink coffee at school though. Probably I was the first to drink Dr. Pepper outside of restaurants, though. :)


  1347. If it were not for coffee, microbreweries and America, I wouldn’t even be allowed to be white.

    Are there really people who like all that other stuff?


  1348. [...] I shouldn’t take life so seriously.  It’s way too short.  Actually, for the most part, Stuff White People Like is interesting. [...]


  1349. [...] 1 02 2009 well i’m just enjoying some stuff white people like (SWPL) #1 while working on my application for SWPL #81, obsessively checking my SWPL #99 while listening [...]


  1350. #1 Coffee – Sure I drink Coffee, but I am switching to Green Tea (see #16 below).
    #2 Religions – Does not belonging to a religon count as as religion?
    #3 Film Festival – Never been to a film festival, I get my DVDs from the library
    #4 Assits – I don’t pass (i.e., assist) as my sport in highschool was wrestling
    #5 Farmer’s markets — lets see, I have a choice between buying locally grown food or something harvested weeks ago over brought to the USA on a barge coming from china — what has this to do with being white? asians, blacks, and hispanics don’t shop at farmers markets?
    #6 Organic food — sure, in other parts of the country the food IS organic, here we have to go out of our way to get real food that isn’t sprayed with deadly chemicals (what about blacks, asians, hispanics — they don’t eat organic food?)
    #7 Diversity — sure, 1/2 the people I work with are from India — that’s diversity for you
    #8 Barack Obama — actually I prefer Ralpha Nader (does that make me more, or less white?)
    #9 Not going outside — sure stay inside and rot, what difference does that make to me?
    #10 Who the hell is Wes Anderson and can that possibly be #10?
    #11 Asian girls — sure (and Indian, Hispanic, French, Eastern European, Latin, … pretty much all girls, including Caucasian) but hey, what happened to Breast Augmentation — surely that has to make the top 10 things white people like list (who is this dummy putting this list together?)
    #12 Non-profit organizations — I did my volunteering when I was younger, thanks
    #13 Tea – Sure, switching to Green Tea from Cofee (see #1 above)
    #14 Having Balck Friends — well, actually I think it is more White to not have friends …
    #15 Yoga – more people practice Yoga in the USA than anywhere else , but it hardly ranks above gifted children
    #16 Gifted Children — sure, all the children in the USA are gifted — it is called pandering to the lowest common denominator and making all children feel good about themselves
    #20 What culture? There is no such thing (give USA another couple hundred years, we might pull somthing together eventually)
    #25 Who the hell is David Sedaris?
    #28 — not having a TV? I guess that’s why circuit city went out of business
    #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report — actually, I watch Olbermann — does that count?
    #40 Apple Products — I bought an Ipod once , it broke in less than a year
    #46 The Sunday New York Times — people actually read newspapers anymore? I thought being White meant skimming your news off of cnn.com (gee, any ding bat can put together a stupid list and post it too a website — what is truly White is having the time to waste reading and posting comments to stupid websites … I think that should surely be at least #8 on the list)


  1351. I’m glad Mr. White posted his opinion on a lot of the items on the list. I’ve been wondering for weeks “What does Mr. White think about this site?” Now that I know, I can form an opinion for myself without worrying that it’s possibly wrong.
    In other words, if you believe we care that much about the precious jewels that are your thoughts, start a blog. Don’t poo up someone else’s.


  1352. Darryl,

    Start a blog — gee, thanks for the brilliant suggestion. Boy, now why isn’t that on the list — surely that is #5 of stuff white people like.

    Poo is the less technical term for organic fertilizer. I am just trying to help water and tend to this wonderful website to help it grow into the towering billion dollar domain name it deserves to be.

    Glad to see you have the time to waste commenting on my comments.

    Sorry, I didn’t realize you couldn’t form opinions on your own or I would have responded to all the items on the list.

    Over, out and adios.


  1353. Mr. White….you are so predictable. Trying hard not to fit the norm, that is another classic trait. Get over yourself!!!! If all the stereotypes don’t apply to you, you have to admit it, you know at least 50 people that fit the bill. So go warm your coffee… don’t switch to green tea, its ok… really.. your still not “typical!” Whatever helps you sleep at night. One more thing, the fact that your wrote a dissertation proves that there is some truth to the statements or you wouldn’t try so hard to refute them!!!!!! Mr. White!!! It’s ok…. your cool I promise.


  1354. Mr. White….you are so predictable. Trying hard not to fit the norm, that is another classic trait. Get over yourself!!!! If all the stereotypes don’t apply to you, you have to admit it, you know at least 50 people that fit the bill. So go warm your coffee… don’t switch to green tea, its ok… really.. your still not “typical!” Whatever helps you sleep at night. One more thing, the fact that your wrote a dissertation proves that there is some truth to the statements or you wouldn’t try so hard to refute them!!!!!! Mr. White!!! It’s ok… your cool I promise.


  1355. Is this Jacques??? =)


  1356. What could be more white than thinking you’re cool if you make white jokes?

    Kinda the ultimate stupidity, really.

    Gosh you guys are hip.


  1357. Mr. White,

    Please, try to get your “your/you’re” right if you are going to post your thoughts in a public forum. Basic middle school grammar. Nothing like posting like an idiot to add to the idiocy of posting in the first place. Also, really – you think it’s a “waste of time” to comment on people’s comments? (1/29/09, 10:17 am) Isn’t posting a comment about a blog really just commenting on someone’s comments? Seems to me with your amount of posts, you are wasting the most time of us all…


  1358. Shut up.
    Just shut up.
    If you don’t get the joke, just go away.


  1359. waahhh

    stop being a baby.

    it’s pretentious bullshit, and i have as much fun saying so as you do pretending to have a sense of humor.

    i mean, i’m laughing at you right now!


  1360. Kstil, nice comment.

    Mr. White, you’re late for your spelling class. You also sound like you need some coffee.


  1361. Hahaha! Our church (United Methodist) even has a Fair Trade mission program now. Our goal is to sell over a bazillion tons by, I don’t know, next Sunday.

    Really, we do sell the stuff every Sunday morning.


  1362. This is so fucking easy and fun! I wonder if I could apply it to many other races? It seems all I have to do is assume some pretty horrible things about other people’s motivations and then I’ve got it down! I fucking love it! YEAH!

    Stuff black people like:

    1: Beyonce
    2: Jay Z
    3: Barrack Obama
    4: Chicken
    5: Waffles

    Stuff Black People Hate:
    1: Family Guy
    2: Amos and Andy
    3: Private Catholic High Schools for College Prep
    4: Marion Barry
    5: White people from Chicago during the 70′s
    6: White people from Las Angeles during the 90′s
    7: Plate Glass windows from Las Angeles during the 90′s

    Stuff Chinese People Hate:
    1: the Japanese and the last 800 years.
    2: Giving white american tourists a fair price on cheap souvenirs.
    3: That fucking wall.
    4: Black People who smell like peanuts.

    Stuff Mexicans Like:
    1: America

    Stuff People Who Are From Central and South America Who Immigrated Legally to the USA Hate:
    1: Mexicans
    2: American Immigration Procedure, and Fees


  1363. “black people who smell like peanuts”

    yes, halirious, how did you know? The Chinese do have some pretty strange (many times irrational) notions and dislikes about black people. I should know, I’m a white person who lives and works in China, and no…I’m not taking a year off like some white people I’ve known.


  1364. oh yeah, Charlie, you forgot some more things black people don’t like:

    -Big dogs
    -wheat bread

    I’m just saying… innocently playing into all these stereotypes about people of all races.


  1365. You do realize you just commented on someone else’s comment here…? Keep posting though, it’s funny to watch you get all riled up over satire.


  1366. I think Mr. Lander just might be the poster boy for hubris. It’s not difficult for people to look around and describe their interests, viewpoints, surroundings, etc….now if we could all just get paid $300,000 to do so like he did wouldn’t life be complete?


  1367. I effing straight up love coffee! Two thumbs up!


  1368. Can’t blame you on the African-American girls thing. Although, I’m finding that this seems to be a new trend. It just opens up the playing field, I guess.


  1369. That’s what I always thought. Or, at least that’s what I prefer to think. :)


  1370. Well, I was white in the south during my middle school years circa 1997, so I heard a few ridiculously illogical jokes about “n’ers” and whatnot. Some really offensive stuff, like black people supposedly smelling like peanuts for no reason. But regardless, I later learned that, like most things, we’d stolen a lot of it from Asia, and the Middle East (or did they steal it from us?).

    Anyway, one time I worked for an Indian (as in the country) family who owned a candy store at a local mall. One of the owners was a 45 year old gentleman who had only lived in the USA for about 5 years, and he’s the only person who’s ever made me, a white person, feel I was the subject of racism: “Wow, I can’t believe you’re a white person who likes spicy food.” Thanks Ashoke, yes I am white, and yes indeed I like my food way too spicy. Jeez… Assuming white people don’t like spicy food is sort of like assuming all white people love mayonaise… There was probably an SNL skit about it.

    I blame the mall, and the slow pace of globalization. I wish we could speed that shit up.

    http://www.hellisprettypeople.blogspot.com


  1371. Gosh, who doesn’t like coffee???


  1372. You got it all wrong. Minorities don’t think all white people like mayonnaise. We think ALL white people SMELL like mayonnaise.

    You know, like egg yolks and sour milk.


  1373. it’s true.
    big dogs.
    lol


  1374. That was just mean. You were mean on purpose. I’m telling mom.

    Plus I don’t think “Minorities” think all white people love mayonnaise.

    No seriously, if I buy the wrong kind of deodorant (specifically old spice original scent, dry stick) it makes my t-shirts smell like Elmer’s Glue. Which is fucking gross. Gotta get Sport, or Avalanche flavor. Original suxxx.


  1375. sounds like someone’s jealous


  1376. I’m white and don’t like coffee. Is something wrong with me? Should I see a doctor?


  1377. dont forget about dunkin donuts. since you didnt mention that i assume you are not from the northeast. i am a white guy and i like dunkin donuts and always call it coffee, nothing else. like “hey, lets have some coffee.” or “lets go to dunkin donuts and get some coffee.” also, i would never ever pay extra for “free trade” coffee. in fact i might pay extra if i knew someone got hurt producing it.


  1378. on February 8, 2009 at 5:28 pm DreddPyrateRoberts

    Sorry, mayo does not contain any dairy products.

    I think I usually smell like fennel.


  1379. “dogdick’- typical white trash. We can only hope he doesn’t reproduce so the gene sequence slowly goes away!


  1380. corn… i didn’t eat corn.


  1381. … so you’re fat?


  1382. you should, coffee is so lovely!


  1383. pardon? i realize that you dont know much about me from my simple comment. but i am far far from white trash. i am middle class and live in a well diversified city. this website is supposed to be funny and much of it is. the portions i have found to be offensive i can shrug off and take it as a joke. you should as well.


  1384. I do kind of agree there. I don’t really like coffee or tea very much but I’ll drink it anyways…but mostly just to wake up. I prefer eating breakfast, though I rarely have time to. I do honestly love coffee cake, though. Especially ice cream coffee cake, no self forcing needed there what so ever. As for tea, I might enjoy it more if I tried the ‘traditional ground tea’ instead of the little baggys…-shrug-


  1385. well maybe not white trash how about douchbag well diversified wow


  1386. on February 16, 2009 at 12:00 am The white guy with dreads

    I love coffee, and some of the best coffee in the world can be found at http://www.thegreenlions.com


  1387. JOKE TIME

    How many bay-area kids does it take to drink a pot of coffee???

    HELLA!


  1388. I love coffee….don’t go to Starbucks or any of the other mentioned coffee places. I brew my Maxwell House colombian at home.


  1389. on February 19, 2009 at 7:08 pm Careetha Satouni

    This is an awful website, you make these lame, broad assesments that sound like the pop corn we already ate,
    and are pretty unsubstantiated.

    I mean if your skipping the foot work because your “just kidding, but humor does not mean you don’t have to back your shit up, you still have to sway us, and I feel your saying shit that any grumpy hipster dip shit could come up with.

    let me clue you in retard, all cultures feel all cozy and altruistic
    when they buy fair trade-I think your just afraid to say that-cause heaven for bid you actually admit that you just simply hate us all, cause then we could call you a racist, but looks as though you took the “safeway”.
    White folks are an easy target-cause we can’t play a race card now can we?

    I truly believe Gallagher smashing a fucking watermelon is more fleshed out then this half baked shit that you pedal to pay for your yuppie life style you piece of shit.

    GO FUCK YOURSELF
    oh fyi I’m black -SURPRISE!


  1390. on February 19, 2009 at 7:12 pm Careetha Satouni

    —–edited—–with mention of my white mom–

    This is an awful website, you make these lame, broad assessments that sound like the pop corn we already ate,
    and are pretty unsubstantiated.

    You’re skipping the foot work because you’re “just kidding,” but humor does not mean you don’t have to back your shit up, you still have to sway us, and I feel you’re saying shit that any grumpy hipster dip shit could come up with.

    let me clue you in retard, all cultures feel all cozy and altruistic
    when they buy fair trade-I think you’re just afraid to say that-cause heaven for bid you actually admit that you just simply hate us all, cause then we could call you a racist, but looks as though you took the “safeway”.
    White folks are an easy target-cause we can’t play a race card now can we?

    I truly believe Gallagher smashing a fucking watermelon is more fleshed out then this half baked shit that you pedal to pay for your yuppie life style you piece of shit.

    GO FUCK YOURSELF
    oh fyi I’m half black -SURPRISE!


  1391. You obviously don’t get it…
    it is supposed to be a joke…you know, funny.
    He is satirical…directed toward people with a sense of humor…for people who are able to laugh.
    Lighten up!


  1392. Oh Lighten Up! White people do like coffee and besides whether I agreed or disagreed with George Carlin, I thought he was “funny.” In this world it’s pretty good to have a sense of humor. I don’t think George ever did a scientific study on his subjects to be sure he was scientifically, politically, or correct in any other way. He was just clever. Learn to ENJOY.

    You need to be reported for your language but if I had that in my mouth I’d want it out too.


  1393. P.S. I really don’t care if a person is pink or purple.


  1394. Starbucks is not real coffee. The plain brewed coffee there always tastes burnt, and the big sales are in the fru-fru drinks of sugared-flavored syrups that over power the coffee.
    Maybe you should say “white people like fru-fru coffee.”

    I grew up in a true coffee culture. I drank coffee as a kid- by the time I was 10. My aunt (by marriage) came from Cuba and she made espresson on the stove top. I tasted black espresso in a demitasse at age 3 or 4. My husband drank cafe con leche in his bottle as a toddler. Coffee lovers live in the cold, cloudy climates or come from cultures where the bean itself is cultivated.


  1395. My mom fed me coffee through the umbilical cord.


  1396. I wish this website were half as insightful as your comments. Many congratulations on being half black.


  1397. on February 22, 2009 at 8:16 am The white guy with dreads

    Coffee is the best thing since sliced bread. what else check out http://www.revoint.com


  1398. Hey, this website is hilarious. People who say its racist need to cool down. I mean, are other races actually offended by this? It’s good clean fun!


  1399. Hey … you’re famous! I saw you on CNN!!


  1400. lol omg i laughed so hard nd i jus saw a few of em!! i jus saw it on tv that ppl were complainin that it was racist lol its sooooo retarded maybe if white ppl were a minority then everybody would think it was funny lol!!!!!!!!!!


  1401. i dont see a spec of racism in this… my white self and my black roommate read through most of the list together and both laughed our asses off


  1402. I hope you are not in the position of makeing any decisions at the work place or a voice of reason to any young people?


  1403. How long do you think that white people should pay for the mistakes of the past because hate started back in the biblical times when man was all the same color? Do I ask you to judge a black man for slinging dope on the corner or judge a jewish man for his beliefs? There are so many different types of raceism. To pick one from so many is small and one sided. After you read this you should realise that hate and violence have created man to do such Sad Sad things to each other. We will all be judged in the end and when Iam Ihope that race is not an issue.


  1404. i work at a coffee shop and its funny when white girls order cappuccinos and try drinking them


  1405. Your site is not racist because black people also have their stuff like “Black History Month” so why not have a site of what white people like.


  1406. this is really funny
    and probably very true


  1407. Most of this site is dead on – but this entry, indeed the number one thing – is lost on me. The real question is, who DOESN’T like coffee? In fact, the last person who made the you-don’t-want-to-talk-to-me-until-I-had-my-morning-coffee comment was an African-American woman.


  1408. Black people.
    Black people dont like coffee. Have you never been to starbucks?
    and asians.
    asians drink ‘tea’. they’d have a seizure if they downed an entire cup of starbucks.

    Ref. Asian male with many black friends.


  1409. I know an Asian guy that works at Starbucks just for to be around the smell of coffee. Boom! Roasted.


  1410. I know an Asian guy that works at Starbucks just to be around the smell of coffee all day. Boom! Roasted.


  1411. So true. I’m the exception though because I’m white and hate the taste of coffee.

    My other friends always drink it even though they don’t really need it. It pisses me off.


  1412. on February 24, 2009 at 9:43 pm FADS Administration

    terry couldnt cope well with making the the decision of whether or not to spell “making” correctly


  1413. [...] on a local level in Columbia, walk into Kaldis coffee shops in Columbia and you will encounter white people. Adorned in pashminas and delighting in a [...]


  1414. on February 26, 2009 at 12:20 pm Mambo Bananapatch

    > If you can’t be clever or funny, you still don’t have to be rude of other people’s faith.

    That’s true, strictly speaking, you don’t *have* to be rude, but that doesn’t mean you *can’t*. Most religious people are too stupid to not be rude to.


  1415. Congratulations on being that douchebag who criticizes others for their typos in blog comments.


  1416. Jack, don’t judge all black people on the 12 you know it makes you seem ignorant.


  1417. You are right Marina, the site is not racist it is funny as hell, but please don’t seem like an ignorant asshole by comparing this site with something as important as black history month- duh


  1418. it IS possible to actually LIKE coffee, not just NEED it… just thought I’d throw that out there…


  1419. Zapatista coffee that you can pick up at Blue Stockings in NYC is the only coffee I like. Besides Turkish!!!

    ~ White Girl – Janice Marie Foote ~


  1420. I totally agree that it was the white kids who always bought it to school…always in the yuppie travel mugs that they thought it looked so mature and unique in.
    Lol.


  1421. While we’re on the topic of substances, don’t forget tobacco. We liked this plant so much we industrialized it, along with coffee.

    Also, psychotropic drugs. I cannot overstate what a huge hit these are with white people. SSRIs, especially. CNS depressants too. The valium-addicted housewife is going to be a white housewife 99% of the time, thanks to this white dude:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Sternbach

    Not to mention designer recreational drugs. white college kids can’t get enough of them. Leave it to a white guy to invent about 250 of them:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Shulgin

    or to make the term “hallucinogen” a household name:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Hofmann

    The article on marijuana was very good, but I guess the point I’m trying to make is that there is still quite a bit of room to flesh out the characteristic substance infatuations and use/abuse patterns of white people. We tend to be very ardent about our drugs.

    -soft acid, white guy


  1422. STARBUXXXXX!

    rawrr,
    xxxx


  1423. on March 1, 2009 at 7:43 pm Blahbityblah

    I think it’s funny that it’s easier to find a Starbucks in parts of SoCal than it is in Seattle.


  1424. If you’re in NYC check out Mikey Moscow Delivery Service
    Open from 12:00pm-12:00am, 7 days a week, everyday. Private, quick, courteous service. Delivery time in UNDER 60 mins. TEXT “MM?” to 347-553-3852. If this is your first time using service please email mikeymoscow@gmail.com for instructions first. Serving NYC & the 5 boro’s

    NY’s best MJ delivery service.


  1425. I worked in a coffee shop for 3 years owned by this guy that felt that once he made enough money in real estate that he should open up a coffee shop that he’s not in long enough to run. I felt like I was selling people their daily cup of crack. The newbs would make faces that looked like they would like to permanently remove their tongues.

    Didn’t touch the stuff until I hit college, and then I might as well have hooked myself up to an ivy of coffee (the things we do to function in college….)


  1426. i was the firts to have coffee – i am italian though, but yes white…. not in a styrofome container tho.


  1427. on March 2, 2009 at 3:52 am LockedNaijaMan

    Coffee is White People Crack seriously. They will continue to drink it and say it tastes lovely just to seem sophisticated. They realize it yellows the teeth and makes their breath stink but if they aren’t SEEN holding that cup of coffee each day, then they haven’t done their white duty.


  1428. on March 2, 2009 at 3:53 am LockedNaijaMan

    These blogs are hillarious, I thought I was the only one who always noticed white ppl tendencies.


  1429. Do you go out and observe these very accurate stereotypes or do they just fall into your lap?.Thankfully,never tasted a cup of coffee in my life and don’t think I ever will.White exception to the rule!

    Love all your other entries too.


  1430. they should just come to New Orleans and save all the money and effort of going to a foreign country. We have plenty of drugs, poverty and dirty water.


  1431. tom, aren’t you supposed to be over at myspace?


  1432. that’s the spirit!


  1433. But, who will win this race? That is the question.


  1434. on March 2, 2009 at 4:06 pm Chad Wellington

    Oh yes. I strongly believe that we do in fact love to have coffee & I feel proud to go into Starbucks & ask for low fat caramel machiatto venti with extra whip cream.

    sweeeeet!


  1435. First off; screw Starbucks! Get some GOOD coffee at a reasonable price. Mc D’s new cafe coffees rock!
    I’m confused now: Do I love coffee because I’m white, or because I’m a recovering alcoholic? Or both!?!? OMG! Someone help me!!!! BRB; going to fill my mug…….


  1436. on March 3, 2009 at 10:43 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    Straight latte, NO syrup, sugar, additives. Purchased from a local shop that roasts it there. Now that’s a whiteboy drink. French pressed is also a viable option.
    Starbucks? Oh dear, no. I try to avoid the big, green mermaid.


  1437. That’s not real coffee.


  1438. on March 4, 2009 at 7:06 pm airmarshallcarlinsaysgofuckyourself

    Coffee makes your breasts smaller.

    Just thought I’d throw that out there to all those white Starbucks whores who keep the morning economy going.


  1439. So… are white people the only ones to call “plain” coffee “black” coffee? Or do Black people also call it “black” coffee? I just experienced a black person say they wanted it plain, when I asked if they needed cream or sugar. I am so conditioned to hearing “no, I’ll take it black” or black is good” that when he said “plain coffee” it made me wonder??


  1440. on March 7, 2009 at 7:10 am ashleyannne

    i think that is really interesting and i’m curious as to where you found this out. i’d like to check it out.


  1441. on March 7, 2009 at 11:32 am funkapodamus

    grande black eye no room


  1442. clearly you are a white person


  1443. OH GOD! I work at a coffee shop and if I see another 20-something white girl walk in and order her skinny caramel latte (is there really such a thing?) I am going to go nuts!


  1444. Hi, i’m black, love coffee and order it “black” not “plain”.

    Good day!


  1445. next time, i think i will order my milk white, and not plain.


  1446. Starbuck, Second Cup and all the brand-name coffee dont even taste like coffee (no offend but they leave a sour after-taste)
    Try Vietnamese coffee for real rich and strong coffee !!!


  1447. yes i am Asian and i like coffee too


  1448. on March 12, 2009 at 5:50 am mrsblondeblogger

    White people also hate decaf coffee (or at least I do!)

    http://thingsthatreallysuck.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/things-that-suck-decaf-coffee/


  1449. You are a genius man!

    Whoever wrote this blog, I owe you for hours of gut laughing.

    To white folks, you guys are cool and all, but this blog is brilliant.


  1450. Ha ha..some truth to this but those of true White Anglo-Saxon Protestant (WASP) heritage would NEVER drink any kind of coffee as it is the leading cause of deforestation on the planet. ..see “Silence of the Songbirds”!


  1451. http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/18/1-coffee/

    Hey I’m a white person and I love coffee. I also think your blog is the funniest thing I’ve seen and regularly post links to it on my blog, and even on my facebook page. Which always gets a great reaction from my other white friends. They find it really funny too. Come to think of it, I’d love to read what you think about white people and online social networks, that’d be a cack!

    I also took a year off to work as an English teacher in Europe and SE Asia, so obviously your entries about white ppl taking a gap year traveling and teaching English made me laugh my ass off.

    Thanks for sharing, look forward to more truthful goodness.
    Cheers!


  1452. Your comment is hilarious!


  1453. Actually I was dead serious!


  1454. in that case, your comments are deliriously hilarious!

    please, tell us some more of your so-called ‘serious comments’.


  1455. I am white. I hate coffee. This is a really bad start. Perhaps I’m black? I must be! I don’t like coffee. Great.


  1456. I’ve never even tried coffee…must be not white as well.


  1457. on March 18, 2009 at 12:37 pm Asian Sensation

    I am not white–I am a white person’s coveted token minority friend because I am gay, Asian, went to Vassar, watch Mad Men, and am going to become a lawyer. I also live with a white person. This white person grinds coffee very early in the morning waking me up. I ask Matt (my white roommate is named Matt short for Matthew), “Oh do you mind grinding coffee the night before? The grinder always wakes me up.” He then says no and goes on how about how it tastes different if it isn’t freshly ground, made in his French Press, and drank black.

    Can you fellow white people tell me seriously what the hell is up with that? He is also obsessed with making lots of money and writing short stories and quoting Bob Dylan and the Big Lebowski. My mom thought he was mildly autistic. But I explained to her no he was just white.


  1458. what’s up with that? he’s a fucking dumbass, that’s what’s up with that. it’s not that he’s white, it’s that he’s an annoying motherfucker. don’t use this blog as a way to point your blind rage at “white people”. not all white people are like that.


  1459. he is actually asserting his territory, you should break it to him to get some respect, just say you don’t care, or don’t say a word and go unplug his grinder … if he’s really a connoisseur, he should hand grind it and i don’t believe that makes a lot of noise if he does it the amount just for himself.


  1460. btw, if you really is becoming a lawyer, you are dealing with this sort of people everyday … try play a ukulele some bob dylan tunes while he is asleep.


  1461. you sound defensive


  1462. Hahahahaahahahaha. Amazing.


  1463. Coffee is such an outdated way to get your caffeine. Why not try energy drinks – much faster, twice the power, and they even come with vitamins and herbal supplements!


  1464. Really, what are your sources?


  1465. Don’t forget all the free coffee for employees in white-owned corporations – increases performance!


  1466. on March 19, 2009 at 1:57 pm an actual white person

    I’ve been a white person for 27 years. I tried coffee once. It was gross and I never drank it again. I guess I’ll try being black from now on.


  1467. I think you may have missed the point of this blog. Or have I got it wrong – Isn’t the whole thing picking on white people? Not all white people really like coffee, asian chicks and moleskin notebooks, but you haven’t been upset by that “blind rage”…
    Whould you have been as annoyed if asian sensation was also white?


  1468. on March 20, 2009 at 9:43 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    I grind my coffee fresh every morning and then into the press. I will grind it the night before or wrap a towel around the grinder to muffle it if I might wake someone. So he sounds a little self-absorbed.

    BTW, I don’t care for money all that much and with a few exceptions, am not materialistic.

    Good luck.


  1469. on March 20, 2009 at 9:46 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    All that sugar will make you fat. Energy drinks are just dolled-up soda. And they taste like CRAP.


  1470. you know what white people don’t like? black people


  1471. we definitely don’t like black people like the ones behind this list.

    And to the person that wrote the “cute” article about our obsession with coffee, buying Fair Trade does make a difference you stupid shithead.

    Oh but you wouldn’t know anything about Fair Trade would you? Try Googling it. (Oh yeah, you can add that to your list too, because we love!!!! to Google stuff) I can tell buy these little article headlining each item on the list that you are an uneducated, selfish nimrod.

    Yes we white people have diverse interests and happen to genuinely care about our fellow human beings.

    We tend to look at things on a global level instead of on a
    “what’s between my legs” level…


  1472. youre making us look bad by leaving comments like this man, they already had one on their list called “getting offended” ….you played right into their hands.


  1473. umm, isn’t this written by a white guy, asshole?

    And the “what’s between my legs” comment doesn’t even make sense.

    What’s interesting is part of white privilege is the aspect of individuality. People think that African-Americans only like hip-hop(or the “educated” like jazz), that Mexican-Americans all have family members who were/are migrant workers and Asian obviously love math and science.

    White people have this interesting reaction when they start getting lumped in with each other like other races experience daily: They get pissed. But somehow when they get pissed, people should start listening, because they’re white and pissed.

    That’s cute kiddo. Welcome to one ounce of a sliver of what other people face everyday. Except that it’s just on a website you can click away from, and it’s not you getting followed in a store because you’re going to steal based on the color of your skin.

    have fun with that.

    a.


  1474. The blogger is white. btw. Look at the photos, smart one.


  1475. +1


  1476. Anonymous, you need to do some soul searching man. It is possible for members of any race/ethnicity/sex to be horse’s asses. Look how sensitive freespyryt comes off, no matter how exaggerated the stereo-type, there is usually some personal experience basis in fact.


  1477. Talk about morons, all of you idiots who responded to me. Of course you don’t have the fucking intelligence to direct a response to my Fair Trade comment.
    My main problem with this blog, regardless of someone’s skin color, is the repeated attack’s on human right’s interests that certain people, of all colors btw, happen to care about.

    The only redeeming thing about this website is the fact that all proceeds from t-shirt sells go to the Children of the Night orgainization.


  1478. do you think fair trade is really fair? do you believe that the complex system will end up having your freaking token gesture to go to the farmers? do you think the people in the middle won’t manipulate the system for their own interest to tap money off into their own pockets? do you know only about 3c will end up in the farmers? and you believe you cock ass is fair to the farmers that your all important 2 dollars will remove their hardship that in the end they will all each drive a car, send their children to go to the uni, have a career, living in a big house, take hot shower every night, watch cable and tapping on a macbook whinging? can you hear them complaining now? or you are knowing it but you can’t care less because you have done your feel good shit … can i ask you to divert 1/3 of your income to solve the poverty? can I ask you to pay $30 for a cup of coffee if bono tells you that is the fair price and will improve on the farmers? do you quit coffee? drink less? or you may say now it is their problem and ask them to work harder and say your living standard is not really high, you the farmers don’t need that money?

    people like you are only willing to see what you are comfortable with for the sake of feeling good about YOURSELF and when the truth is too un-comfortable to swallow you just duck away into the darkness and shaking or pretend nothing ever happened … would you donate to the children of the night organisation when you don’t get a t-shirt? tell me if a street kid were walking upon you to ask for 10 dollars, you know you won’t get anything back, you don’t know his story, you don’t even know him, most likely he needs help or something had happened that he ends up on the street; but he doesn’t look nice or clean, probably he did not receive enough education to say something that stroke your ego; would you give the $10 to him when you know that the next say 12 hours will be less hard if you give him the money?

    you are a fake! you should poke your eyes with a penis and drop dead.


  1479. as a white man who uses a big pink container of (non-free trade) folgers coffee (to fight breast cancer) with his pompous stove top maker , i can say my white uncle did a very white motorcycle trip through mexico recently and gave a pretty sincere breakdown of the free trade lifestyle. the chiapas are doing an okay job of keeping their communities together and keeping their rural schools running because of free trade coffee. it’s their major economic connection to the rest of the world, because most of their other economies are pretty self contained. no matter what you think of their politics. my white bleeding heart does like the fact that these people get to stay on their own land and not have to go to the overcrowded cesspool (and hipster cesspool in some areas) of mexico city to find work in a factory.

    …but then again, i come to this site to laugh more than to consider why i don’t buy nike anymore.


  1480. Is English a second language for you, lol

    Glad I could make your day!

    btw, I don’t help others for the sake of feeling good about myself. No one person can save the world, but every little bit helps.

    Yes I am very familiar with Children of the Night and happen to make a $20 monthly donation in honor of my cousin, you hateful little shithead.

    Would I give $10 to a street kid, yes I would. I regularly give money and/or food to homeless people. I work downtown Seattle and see it all the time.

    So what, I’m a liberal, coffee drinker, soccer, scarves, New Balance shoes, t-shirts, have a dog, am vegetarian, do yoga, recycling, snowboarding, Netflix, blah, blah, blah.

    And damned proud of it too. Just trying to start some entertaining shit here and looks like it worked, thanks panda.bae


  1481. …there is some funny stuff here after looking around. It really isn’t meant to be taken too seriously, I guess, lol.


  1482. Chill, freespyryt — you’re carrying on like a very uptight self-imprisoned spirit. No need to throw a hissy fit when one of these hits your own parochial bullseye. That’s what they’re for.


  1483. on March 22, 2009 at 7:01 pm John McSmith

    Yea, I like most of the stuff on this list. Being white and liking all these things is the shit.


  1484. on March 22, 2009 at 9:58 pm fuzzysparkledoodle

    woah, i know what ignorant white people like. blatant racism :D, I’m white and most the time pretty clueless, but when I heard that between the legs comment I thought “poor ignant whitey ⌐_⌐” (see obvious hip-hop references). lol thought it was funny.


  1485. Well said!


  1486. you are a moron. all those human rights activist groups and save the furry fucking chipmunk groups are nothing more than a way to get people to send a bunch of money off of which they can take ten or twenty or forty %. Maybe it’s just that only white people feel secure and entitled enough to not recognize this blatant hustle. Whether you’re white or not, the fact that you are at a humor website that brings laughter to tons of people every day and you’re bitching that the noble and esteemed hippie conman bullshit is being trod upon. fucking please.


  1487. I hate this site. You are a fag. Please slit your wrist… ooooo u should add suicide to stuff white people like… go prove your condescending ass right! Fucktard!


  1488. Stuff White People Like # new one

    Referring to people or things as Fags:

    Spotting someone who is unable to cope with reality has never been easier. They can be either too young to handle concepts outside of their video game console, or unable to understand sentences that dont contain the words ‘toss the pigskin, anus’ but what they have in common is undeniable. Identifying things, people, or whatever else points out their own ignorance, as Fags, or Gay.


  1489. on March 24, 2009 at 1:00 pm DreddPyrateRoberts

    Not everyone is motivated by greed. People who are can not seem to wrap their heads around this one. So try not to be so egocentric.

    There are many charities that are scams, but not all. I’m more inclined to give to an “activist group” than a church.


  1490. on March 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm in response to idiot below me

    Okay. Open your eyes and look around. It’s true… And therefore funny. If you don’t like it deal with it. Don’t get mad at people who just see things more clearly than you.


  1491. Loved the blog, but I think blogger may have neglected to mention the at home coffee drinkers that no longer use coffee pots, but have evolved to the Kurig brewer and the coffee pods. Even better when we buy the fair trade individually portioned coffee k-cups and pods.


  1492. And now there’s a beverage called coffee-tea, all in one. Leave it to white people to come up with that one. http://muttslikeme.wordpress.com


  1493. on March 25, 2009 at 8:56 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    Don’t come back you won’t be missed.


  1494. what a dumbass, self important dumbass. Most have a B.A. in English


  1495. Here in Africa (Cape Town) we don’t have Starbucks – proof of this blog. Instead us fairer skin folks resort to grinding our own every morning …

    … but yeah, the African Sun only shines once I’ve had my morning cup :)


  1496. I can’t wait until honkeys start chugging coffee straight up their butts!


  1497. [...] Coffee. I have an on-again, off-again thing with coffee. When I was a wee lass, my grandmother used to [...]


  1498. i actually work for starbucks and must say, Asians really do love their iced coffee. this practice is definitely a white people thing, i only see other races come in for vanilla bean frappucinos and carmel frappucinos.
    sadly coffee is much like cigarettes because it does taste like shit the first 24 times you drink it, but miraculously it becomes the nectar of the gods and gives you superhuman speed and agility to fight off cooperate america when consumed.
    your humble barista – jake


  1499. I have never seen a black person drink coffee before just white people.


  1500. clearly, you’re a sheltered idiot


  1501. Clearly


  1502. Moot? dumbass.


  1503. Do you count Italians as white? Or does the term “White” only fit middle-class americans?

    Greatings from sweden.


  1504. Great comment!


  1505. You are also the DBOTD !

    (douche bag of the day)


  1506. on April 3, 2009 at 5:59 am muttslikeme

    I’m not much of a coffee drinker, (tea’s my drink) but I just found out there’s coffee-flavored tea! http://tinyurl.com/coffeeT so I wondered why would some tea leaf/bean growers make this combo? Very curious!

    I do love iced thai sweetened coffees but the kick…how much caffeine is in that anyway?!


  1507. Dude, you don’t know what you talking about.
    I suppose you are talking about whites in USA, they are not coffee drinkers, they are brown-water drinkers. My “european” tea is stronger than “american” coffee.

    Otherwise, what the hell are you tying to tell?


  1508. So right, about tea in other countries better/stronger than american coffee.


  1509. You’re obviously white. White dudes like to brag about how strong their coffee is.


  1510. on April 3, 2009 at 7:27 pm DreddPyrateRoberts

    You have not spent any time in the Pacific Northwest. There are at least three local coffee roasters in my town of 50,000. I French press a medium roasted Ethiopian every morning and it is as good as the coffee I’ve had in Europe.

    Of course our microbrew, that’s a different blog, is way better than Euro “skunk suds”.


  1511. You are obviously black since you took a real name “Evil Knievel” and completely rewrote it to where no sane person can understand how to say it.


  1512. Actually, I just read the whole book and it should be called “Stuff Liberals Like”. Everything in there is about the typical shallow, fake, bleeding heart liberal who hates the US and everything it stand for (except now they somewhat like it because Obama is president). I thought it was just too funny and too true and had to buy it. I think I’ll stick it on my desk at work since I live in Portland and surrounded by a sea of dumb liberals. I’ll see if I can get one of the dunderheads to read it and watch if they can pick out that the book makes fun of their pathetic little lives.


  1513. on April 5, 2009 at 4:08 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    You seem very cranky. Did you run out of Oxycontin?


  1514. Hmmm, typical comment. When something is true, get back by saying that person is a racist or maybe even a drug addict? No Oxycontin here, nor any other drugs or alcohol. I just get a total and complete kick out of this book and how true it is. I just wonder why the author chose “white” when he meant liberal democrat. He all but says it in every one of his lists. This guy is awesome! :)


  1515. on April 5, 2009 at 2:55 pm DreddPyrateRoberts

    Wow, where do I begin? This blog is written by a guy in San Francisco who is laughing at himself.

    So now it’s “truth” with you right-wingdings. Well you must be still getting used to the idea of the truth. I mean eight years of lying liars telling lies can be habit forming. Here are some truths for you: I’m a Liberal. I love America. I like the civil liberties that still exist after an eight year assault.

    See, I can laugh at myself and the things I do. I can love my country and criticize it too. Grown-ups can be critical of each other and still be in love. They care about each other enough to bother. Now, a child of four does not like anyone saying anything bad about Mommy. People who do that are bad, bad people. That’s how Liberals and Conservatives love their country. Liberals are like the grown-ups in a mature relationship, and Conservatives are like the Four year old.

    The Oxycontin remark was because I thought you might be pals with Rush.


  1516. I hate coffee lol


  1517. Did you mean “everything it stands for”?


  1518. all these generalizations are retarded.


  1519. lighten up, man. it’s a website.


  1520. Right on dude! You nailed it!


  1521. I’m a white leftist and I still find it funny because it’s all completely true.

    I find it even funnier that you’re too busy rubbing one out to Ann Coulter’s Adam’s Apple to notice that this entire site is tongue-in-cheek humor, written by a white liberal who also has the ability to laugh at himself, unlike your right wing brethren who all take themselves way too seriously.

    See here: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/07/05/white_people/

    Now don’t we feel silly?


  1522. Oops. Shoulda read all the way through the page.

    So, yeah… what he said!


  1523. It’s Anne Coulter you tool, and if you had the chance to drop a load across that adam’s apple, you’d hit it. Well, maybe your aim isn’t that good. Everyone knows that among white people, conservatives have better practice shooting… ;)


  1524. so true


  1525. Retarded, but true.


  1526. If this dud used a conservative Republican he would be definately pushing things over the edge. Something white people would find offensive.


  1527. lol. completely agree about “brown water”, but this is just jokes, dear fellow-European!! And it is kind of hard to get when you don’t live around here….took me all the 4 years I live here!! However, I must say, I DO think fair trade makes sense, and it’s a place to start, which has nothing to do with the critique of “whiteness” in this country but much rather of privilege!!! Any other person, no matter what race, gender and ethnicity that lives, clothes her of him self, and uses most consumer and service products is PRIVILEGED. None of us should ever forget that we are better off, not much due to our own personal merit. And we need to start somewhere, no??


  1528. White people have agreed not to use the “r” word anymore.


  1529. White people can also be suckers for the safeway charities, they ask “you want to add .10 and round up to the nearest dollar for the latest charity. ” I love coffee! If I did not have coffee I would be extinct.


  1530. Does any other race comment?


  1531. you are retarded, or was that to much of a generalized statement. You do not get it! is that more specific?


  1532. hahaha I love this shit *white man*

    I do love coffee whenever I walk around in public. Holding that cup of goodness rather than both hands in my pockets. I suppose its practical as well on a cold day :P


  1533. I am 19 year old black female and I live off of coffee. Where can you possibly live that you have never seen a black person drink coffee??????????


  1534. you’re an idiot.


  1535. on April 18, 2009 at 9:01 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    Anne Coulter???? And you Conservatives actually think “she’s” hot??? I’ve always wondered how much she pays for an eight-ball. Oh yeah, she probably does not exchange money.


  1536. As well, I have discovered that Asians have an unconventional appetite for Bubble Tea of various flavors (Not offered at Starbucks, but by way of special novelty shops within their communities).

    Moreover, to the colorless who reveal, “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee”, believe them – for it certain they are an unsightly group.


  1537. on April 20, 2009 at 6:56 pm Whitey Whiterson

    Whether someone is hot or not has nothing to do with whether it’s acceptable to try and have sex with them. I hate Ann Coulter, but, all the same, would have no qualms about making angry love to her. I accept that the educated part of my brain knows that she’s reprehensible but I also accept that the animal instinct in me just wants to get my seed into as many women as possible in order to profligate my genetic material. I would compromise by thinking about the New Deal during my orgasm.


  1538. I LOVE COFFEEEEEE


  1539. im wondering if this applies to WHITE HISPANICS my friend is whiter than me and from el salvador is he white like me or What


  1540. if a white person was forced to choose between instant coffee and commercial hip-hop, would that white person die?


  1541. on April 22, 2009 at 11:21 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    No, they would instantly metamorphose and wear ED Hardy. This would be followed by an insistence to watch ultimate fighting and get some fried food. Also their Prius would change into a black Suburban with chrome custom wheels and a “These colors don’t run” American flag sticker.


  1542. I’m a 27 year-old Hispanic Male and, as most of you know, Great Coffee comes from South America, but just like the white man stole the land from the natives,

    now they’ve taken our coffee.

    But, it’s cool, we’ve taken a lot from the white man also, (trucker hats and tommy hilfiger…just to mention a few)

    So we’ll call it even

    I just discovered this blog, It’s pretty Funny.


  1543. No, they don’t mean white as a race, but as an ethnic background.


  1544. CK, that is hilarious! (cause it’s so true) Love this site.


  1545. on April 25, 2009 at 8:32 am DreddPyrateRoberts

    I think coffee was brought to S America by the Spaniards. If I remember, it is native to Africa/Middle East.


  1546. yeah i just discovered it too. it is pretty funny and very insightful….


  1547. We south Indians like coffee too. As a 4th generation coffee grower in Audubon friendly plantations I must say that we don’t see much of that extra money!

    Nice list!


  1548. Guess where Arabica Beans are from.


  1549. on May 1, 2009 at 2:36 pm TallWhiteGuy

    lol trucker hats and tommy hilfiger. I’d never have thought of that. If you are only including modern history, I’d say the hispanic-white social relationship has blossomed much faster than the black-white social relationship. What’s with the hispanic-black relationship? I do not hear much about it.


  1550. This blog is complete hilarity! I love the sarcasm…white people are so funny. whoo. time to wipe the tears of laughter form my eyes.


  1551. on May 3, 2009 at 9:42 am U already Know

    Sarcasm can go as far as being racist. But I’m sure yall black folks dont wanna hear that from a pussy little white guy…..Why is it in NY all I see is black people working at Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks? Theres usually only one white dude working there. Black people love coffee, dont let them fool you…They suck it down cuz they can take the black out of it.


  1552. This whole website is a joke. They should rename it “Stuff Liberals like”. I don’t take any of it seriously.


  1553. on May 3, 2009 at 2:52 pm Just Pointing it Out

    There’s quite a void between WORKING somewhere and LOVING something… how many drunk people do you see behind the bar. The white people are far too busy running marathons and watching foreign films to actually work in Starbucks… FACT.
    Plus, white people don’t love dunkin donuts…


  1554. Are you kidding me? White people LOVE Dunkin Donuts (or Tim Horton’s if you’re Canadian) and any disgusting variant — because they are usually trashy and stupid.

    TRU FAX: I’m white and I don’t run marathons because that’s too much work for nothing.

    Oh, and I work at Starbucks.


  1555. “Why is it in NY all I see is black people working at Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks? Theres usually only one white dude working there. Black people love coffee, dont let them fool you…They suck it down cuz they can take the black out of it.”

    ROFL yeah that’s EXACTLY why they work there, for their undying passion for coffee.


  1556. It is impossible to get through grad. school without mankind’s greatest gift to the world.


  1557. Starbucks is Gay, you young people are being brainwashed by corporate America.

    Coffee is a performance enhancer. Groups that can’t or won’t perform, usually aren’t caught drinking it.

    My suggeestion: spike the Chicago water supply with tons of coffee and lets see a “reduction in the achievement gap”.


  1558. I like coffee, and I fall into many of the “White stuff” categories but Starbucks is too overtly pretentious to be cool. If you see anyone with a Starbucks coffee two things come to mind, first – Sucker! and second Poser!

    Sucker because you just paid a boat load of money for a coffee that is not even that great, and you had to make add the sugar and cream yourself if you stayed inside the shop.

    Poser, because the coffee is not even that great, and the only reason you are drinking Starbucks is to show off.


  1559. “Starbucks is Gay, you young people are being brainwashed by corporate America.”

    This statement had me cracking up. You seriously could not have said something more white if you tried.


  1560. sure, i like coffee! it makes me high :)

    i like drinking every morning coffe with strong taste. it makes me feel powerful, strong, fresh …

    coffee with or without milk, with or without sugar, hot or cold – i like it always


  1561. 10 out of 10 for correctly identifying a satirical blog as “a joke”. Extra credit for not taking said joke seriously, but I suggest further study on the areas of socioeconomic stereotypes and artistic licence.


  1562. I chill at IT’S A GRIND and get a foglifter. Coffe with espresso. Tastes awesome and kicks me on my ass.


  1563. Ha. And coffee originated in the Ethiopian highlands. Check out The Coffee House (Markman Ellis) and The Great Good Place (Ray Oldenburg). They both reveal some history behind coffee and how its become a huge force in creating social movements.


  1564. [...] Stuff White People Like list’s coffee as the #1 thing white people like. (that website is hilarious)  [...]


  1565. [...] to this site (click here) Jamie and I are right on track…Coffee Press, Special Grounds, Flavored [...]


  1566. Man this list is uber kewl. I feel inspired to create my own list of “Stuff Non-white People Like”, based on my lifelong immersion in non-white culture. Here’s my first idea –

    Talent Shows — granted, it seems everyone likes to get on stage and make an ass of themselves. But some non-whites (those not already committed to pursuing a career in pro sports) feel some kind of singing or dancing will provide the means of avoiding a real job, and so they rarely miss a chance to demonstrate their “talent” at butchering “I Will Always Love You” or performing a routine from “You Got Served” as someone having a seizure might.

    Notice I didn’t mention acting. Non-whites seem to shun the profession for fear of being branded a Sidney Poitier, who was obviously an Uncle Thomas. Besides, Ice Cube doesn’t need acting ability to get his roles obviously.


  1567. Oh shit, I thought I was whiter than the snow, but I don’t like half that stuff. I must be racist. Or “DIFFERENT”. Damn, I love my parents, but I’m a veg. I don’t like bikes, but I love architecture. I love hummus, but I don’t own a peacoat. And I don’t care about Japan but Halloween is badass. Does that make me weird? D:


  1568. [...] Asian. Every morning it was a constant search for the black warm liquid. They’re not white like a coworker of mine who presents a new organic coffee bean every other week at work. Spamming [...]


  1569. [...] of all, let me say right now that I am SUCH a white person: I like coffee (#1), sushi (#42), Wes Anderson movies (#10), San Francisco (#91), and—of course!—book deals [...]


  1570. Hey really white people, the ones who get their work supplies other than at Office Max. At places like Welder Max, and Electrician Max.

    We get our coffee at Dunkin Donuts.


  1571. [...] beamed ceilings with long wooden tables and serves things like organic apple-cassis fruit juice and fair trade coffee and fancy salads and hearty soups and whole grain artisan breads.  I have become something of a [...]


  1572. Don’t forget Peet’s for the true coffee connoisseurs.


  1573. My only grudge with the Starbucks culture we have in America is that coffee has been downgraded from being a nice social drink to be sipped, enjoyed, and conversed around…it’s now a quick-stop-grab-it-and-go-caffeinate-me-because-I-never-get-to-bed-early-enough drug.

    I’m currently writing this in Europe, Slovakia to be exact. Everywhere I go…from the little village to the major city, I see cafes all over. I do not see one simple stop and go spot and not one paper cup with a plastic lid and java jacket. I see large ceramic cups and stylish glassware to serve coffee. I see people sit down and enjoy it…not guzzle it as a means to avoid sleeping.

    While I reside in Chicago, in my opinion my fellow Americans have messed up one of the great things that made coffee and the cafe what it is. We comoditized it and made it about “on the go”. It irks me how in cities all over the world there are loads of outdoor cafes everwhere. How you can’t even walk into an alcohol establishment and not find coffee there. While in Chicago I can have my pick of thousands of half-assed wannabe German and Irish pub watering holes and yet not many decent cafes.

    Europeans and even Canadians seem to live in a culture where it’s about taking a moment to sit with friends, have a cup of coffee, relax, and have a real conversation…while in America I seem to see a culture that spends their day caffeinating themselves to work way too hard and then spend the evening getting sloshed to forget…and then back to the same cycle in the morning.

    We need less bars and more cafes…real ones with soft chairs, couches, later hours, and drinks that are about sitting and relaxing…not grab-it-and-leave.


  1574. on May 13, 2009 at 7:20 am humptydumpty1

    TREKKIE EXTREMIST!!!


  1575. For me coffe is a reason to go out of the bed every morning! I’m white, but does it really work just for white people…?


  1576. on May 13, 2009 at 11:38 am iambeautifull

    Well put.


  1577. [...] post após post, gostos bem característicos de gente branca. A lista — que tem itens como café, vinhos, produtos Apple, música indie, reciclagem, bicicletas, saber o que é melhor para pessoas [...]


  1578. dear god


  1579. i think people are missing the point of this site.


  1580. on May 18, 2009 at 6:04 am iLike To Rank

    you look like flavor flav in a cup backwards


  1581. I do love coffee too. It causes me headaches, but I drink it every morning anyway.


  1582. on May 18, 2009 at 2:18 pm Brittany Boruck

    I’m a 18 year old girl from a small town in canada and while we do still have our fair share of starbucks and on-the-go coffe shops I agree with what you are saying we need to re-personalize the coffee shop and make it a place that bans text messaging and encourages real conversations


  1583. There is a small town in FL that is trying to re-live that , slower life style that you talk about. If you are ever in the area , visit the classic town of Kissimmee and you will be pleasantly surprised of the various outdoor “cafes” combined with the town’s renovation efforts.


  1584. what DO you do for a living? and who taught you to think your thoughts? your europe bit gave me a dear little twist in my heart and for a tiny brief moment I was there at one of those cafes with a white ceramic mug regaling in all its glory. I could even see its vapor – like ocean’s breath on a foggy day. It is this that coffee is made for: the thoughtful hour where one speaks in laughs and whispers and open eyes of life’s best: love, music and food.

    you admonished so gently yet powerfully it is only with utmost respect and agreeableness that I congratulate you.


  1585. on May 20, 2009 at 2:18 pm Towersofdub

    I used to like coffee, but now I’m simply an addict.


  1586. Who would drink that ‘instant’ rubbish anyway?? My faviourit beans are from Indiana estate ‘pea berry’ blend…..

    try Bills Beans in Orange NSW, Australia


  1587. I see dumb people………..


  1588. mmm.. coffee… gooood… but none of this decaf, soy, half latte, mocha, skinny stuff. Nice one Georgie. If Bill’s is too busy, try Lavendilli Blue, Orange NSW Australia.


  1589. on May 21, 2009 at 10:40 pm Kathy Bartlett

    If you think indian pea berry from Bills beans is good try the Ethiopian limu….. so much better


  1590. Man, if liking all this shit makes u white then i must be black as the ace of spades


  1591. not all this shit ;)

    but coffee! black coffee :)


  1592. I used to drink coffee to stay up to study for my collage exams, but now im just addicted!


  1593. In montreal canada we have a lot of cafes like that. Starbucks and Second cup are here too, but a lot of small buisness coffee shops as well. Mostly people go the these places and sit on sofas, study chat, it’s really a place to spend time and relax. Most places that aren’t franchises you can ge a nice cup of STRONG coffee, not that brown mud butter dunkin donuts serves, they went out of buisness in Quebec ages ago!


  1594. on May 26, 2009 at 8:19 am Captain Cracker

    Hmm. Maybe you’re onto something. I’m whiter than a ghost and I love coffee. If it’s a “contrast with complexion” thing, do black people love sour cream?


  1595. I took my mother to a cafe — not Starbucks, of course, but an indie-run, fair-trade embracing local establishment — and the barista (not merely a waiter) said “Would you like a cappuccino, caffe latte, macchiato, short black, long black, flat white, espresso, double espresso, Vienna, mochaccino, frappuccino, Ghanaian, Brazilian, Colombian or Ethiopian, arabica or robusta, normal milk, skinny milk or soy?”
    “Just a Nescafe,” said my mother.
    “A flat white,” I translated.
    Blimey. I am so, so White, but my mother is ….?


  1596. Coffee just isn’t good for you. People should be drinking poweraide, water or juice. I guess one could say that they like coffee and don’t like water or whichever. Coffee is a drug for many people. They use it to “wake up” in the morning. Why don’t people just get a good nights rest and eat a healthy breakfast to energize themselves. Maybe ever run around block in the morning to get some blood pumping.


  1597. on May 29, 2009 at 8:59 am go clean toilets

    This entry is wrong. “White people” don’t like “coffee” per se. Those folks don’t drink Folgers, or Sanka, or drink coffee at McDonalds. White people drink high end, overpriced, snooty, the-more-obscure-the-better, coffee that they can “one up” the other with, like Tanzania Peaberry.


  1598. folks who eat sour cream suck dic* and swallow


  1599. on June 2, 2009 at 5:14 am jack carden

    this ones’ not that funny. this is humor. but it sure is on target.


  1600. on June 2, 2009 at 7:35 am Yellow Corner House

    There is nothing more invigorating than waking up early on Sunday, go to the hardware store, get an extra large DD coffee (iced during the summer) and do yard work/fix up the house. Skip breakfast and lunch.

    By 3PM, my muscles are sore and tire, but it a good tired feeling. Then I reward myself with steak and baked beans.

    -YCH
    (I am an Asian Female – not White male)


  1601. I cannot abide coffee. I can’t even stand the SMELL of it. Maybe that’s the British side of me. I want Tea.

    Get that coffee away from me, or I’ll pour it over yer head. :)

    Ah, yes… true Red-neck reaction. No, I don’t drink beer, and I don’t slow dance at the waffle house. Although I did mow my lawn and found some old cars….


  1602. [...] coffee 5. Farmers Markets 6. Organic food 13. Tea 23. Microbreweries 24. wine 32. vegan/vegetarianism 36. [...]


  1603. all races love coffee…


  1604. Well #13 Tea is on the list too… :-)


  1605. Not to the exent that white people like coffee. When ever i walk past a coffee place (starbucks, costa) the majority of people in that place will always be white. An example would be that all races like fried chicken, curry or noodles however black people love fried chicken more than other races, indians love curry more than other races and chinese/asians love noodles more than other races. Obviously this is a general accusation so it doesn’t mean that all races like a particular type of food.


  1606. on June 7, 2009 at 11:20 am SouthernChick

    wow. ok, Italians love their pasta, too. Asians aren’t the only ones who eat noodles. Southerners both black and white love their fried chicken. I’m a white southerner and I love my Publix fried chicken. I do, however, agree that many Indians take their love of curry to the extreme. Just because they love the stuff does not mean they have to eat it every day so their normal scent smells like curry (read: b.o.)


  1607. is there a contact for author?


  1608. on June 8, 2009 at 2:20 am Armando Williams

    Coffee is Black


  1609. I FIEND coffee!!! and i’m white.


  1610. I hate coffee & im white. I just cant stand the taste is so nasty, so my morning pick-me-up is an energy drink & 3 cans of soda.


  1611. I like my coffee like I like my men, strong and black ;-)


  1612. I am half latino and half white so I drink coffee only when I have my donkey next to me…


  1613. This site should be renamed, “Stuff White People Like, according to black people”. By the way I guess black people like to be an expert on white people, just like they think whites are experts on their culture (can’t remember which number that was).


  1614. the man who does this blog is white
    very white


  1615. i just went strait to meth… (i’m not white, thank god)


  1616. omg get over yourself!! you’re so pathetic you make me laugh hahahahahaa

    cheers
    -another actual white person!

    PS: THIS BLOG IS AMAZING!!


  1617. This is so true and so laudable.
    white people should indulge in gourmet coffee because they’re worth it.


  1618. that is sooooooo healthy. im sure your blood-sugar levels are sky-rocketed in the morning and then by 12 you feel like crap.
    you should just drink coffee like every other white person, including myself.


  1619. on June 12, 2009 at 7:27 am SanctusRandy

    LOL !!! I found that going strait to locally manufactured meth helps the community best.


  1620. on June 12, 2009 at 3:01 pm Fr2Freak123

    What the fuck you thank god that you are a sick fuck who does meth coffee at least leaves no long term disorders fucktard


  1621. Its true. I’ve completely stopped using that normal meth that is probably being manufactured by child laborers in a factory somewhere overseas.

    My local dealer has recently promised me that he will switch to meth made with 100% all organic ingredients.


  1622. and you’re probably fat


  1623. I buy Fair Trade meth. You think they should organize fair trade coke, stop all those poor Mexicans getting shot?


  1624. hey.

    just caught an interview of you here in australia, nice view on popularity…..


  1625. [...] in 2009, an apple is healthier than any chocolate. Website: Stuff White People Like Title: #1 Coffee Date: 01.18.2008 What’s the 1st post about: They start their blog with a thing, which helps [...]


  1626. Read your asian and coffee posts and thought, How about Little Saigon Coffee shop? Do white people like that?


  1627. on June 17, 2009 at 3:05 pm Der Krampus

    Stimulate the local economy! Its like a 100 mile drug diet…only use drugs made within a hundred miles of your home….


  1628. on June 19, 2009 at 3:42 am fellow young bloger

    I really hope you people are kidding…

    anyways ……. 0.o ……..

    I like coffee, tis true. But I dont need one every morning, and I barely drink it unless its free or the only thing in the house to drink.


  1629. I’m kind of worried about the meth schizophrenia connection. I wouldn’t recommend it for that reason. Besides my two pot a day habit does just as good. Just be sure to fill the basket to overflowing. I’m going to sleep tomorrow maybe.


  1630. [...] The website “Stuff White People Like” features an article on Coffee.  And “What Christians Like” posted an article awhile ago on why Christians [...]


  1631. I LOVE COFFEE! But I’m also from Costa Rica where coffee production is about probably more than a 20% of the countries economy. There are so many different types and you can even go to the local plantation, pick your own and brew it right at home…

    I’