#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
Pages: « 39 … 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 [1] Show All
I am a teacher and white people use this one to segregate their children from the less desirable children of color. It is really how amazing how many gifted white children there are when it means that your child can go into a special class set up for gifted children.
I am a teacher(,) and white people use this one (what “one”?) to segregate their children from the less desirable children of color. It is really how (did you mean to put this here?) amazing how many gifted white children there are when it means that your child can go into a special class set up for (white only? Your message is unclear) gifted children.
A. You are not a teacher, or you would have spared us the abomination that is your grammatically terrifying, and intellectually void piece of writing.
B. I am a white teenager… and I sure hope you don’t teach any of my fellow “gifted” students; race aside, at the very least please tell me you are not an English teacher… As you have thus far served to de-legitimize not only teachers, but the “children of color” which you so verdantly defend.
C. I am an active member of the multicultural awareness club at my school. I am the only white person in the club, because it is basically a black organization. Our step teams are modestly named “Silver and Gold” for the boys, and “Diamonds and Pearls” for the girls.
D. Bling Bling, Dolla Dolla Bill Y’all, thug life for sure. homie
I blame women (I guess white women) for this one. Most of the ills of the world can be tracked to female vanity.
sexist pig
Go to hell, Jake. You see women as pushing their “gifted” children because they are the only ones who will step up to the plate and actually take responsibility for raising the kid. If it was left up to men, the kids would be gifted farters and pranksters.
All young white boys are gifted farters and pranksters.
The point is, all young white girls would also become gifted farters and pranksters, and unless white breeders turned to AI like their LGBT counterparts that would be the end of white people.
You may think that would be a good thing, but think of the nostalgia industry that came out of the antebellum South and multiply that by a factor of a billion.
wtf are you talking about.did anyone ever tell you that you are a prime example of why abortions should never become illegal. well, you just have.
Huh?????
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Don’t forget to mention doctor shopping until you find the one that’ll diagnose junior with ADD, thus earning him double-time on all exams. Remember, if a White Child isn’t excelling, it’s because he’s sick, not because he just isn’t excellent.
Diagnosed with ADHD, never got double time on exams. Our school had an ‘everyone is equal’ mindset. There was no such thing as learning disabilities. There was a ‘special’ class, but it was for children with Autism and Down’s Syndrome, etc. It only met for part of the day, so the same kids also had classes with everyone else too.
Did I mention it was a mostly white school (I can’t actually remember anyone else that wasn’t white, but I tend to be racially blind. There probably were a few that weren’t white…)
Ahhh…suburbia.
Right because Thomas Edison was just dumb, and that’s why he did so poorly in school.
Personally, I know my Timmy would be amazing in school if it weren’t for his central auditory processing disorder, ADHD, receptive language disorder, and developmental reading disorder (it affects 2% of all children, what a martyr I am). But because he is really quite gifted, he is still able to dress and feed himself – despite all those factors working against him!
We parents of unrecognized gifted children should start a support group.
Sounds like before a support group is started. you and people like you should check into a group discount for getting sterilized. that or learn to swallow. lol
Learn 2 sarcasm.
[...] #16 “Gifted” Children « Stuff White People Like bukdow thread? __________________ my guess is bull got boomrang in pants an cause it nine incha an only cause it not curvy cause it long an cause it strait like telly pole __________________ [...]
are you truely as retarded as you put off to be ? that is truely sadder than alot of other shit here. Did anyone ever refer to you as “gifted”
[...] #16 “Gifted” Children « Stuff White People Like __________________ my guess is bull got boomrang in pants an cause it nine incha an only cause it not curvy cause it long an cause it strait like telly pole __________________ [...]
EPIC FAIL
EPIC FAIL
I’ve banged out 5 gifted children in my younger years–all from different fathers–I’m looking to get preggers again so I can contributed a 6th genius to the world!!….Well, I’m off to the local bar–wish me luck!
I’ve banged out 5 gifted children in my younger years–all from–I’m looking to get preggers again so I can contributed a 6th genius to the world!!….Well, I’m off to the local bar–wish me luck!
what about poor whites? i’m pretty sure we never got the whole gifted thing…
in fact, most of this blog seems to be about yuppie, middle- to upper- class whites.
I also think that this blog does not apply to anyone who happens to live in New York and is over the age of 40 (the boroughs, not the city)
It would be nice to have a detailed explanation of exactly what kind of white people this blog applies to. I try explaining it to people, but they always bring up white trash to counter the blog entries.
H-E-L-L-O? Poor whites aren’t funny. In the Bell Curve of Life, 50% of the population has an IQ of 100 or less, of which poor whites compose a large percentage, and I can guarantee you they aren’t writing writing clever essays about the more base appetites that tyrannize the upper middle class whites. This blog is brilliant in terms of social construct. Who wants to read hickish locutions or sentences ending in ‘at’. I’m sure most of the people who read this hilarious blog can in some way identify with references to that bourgeois faux affluence with which most of the middle class seems so entranced.
yes’m.
Huh?
“in fact, most of this blog seems to be about yuppie, middle- to upper- class whites.”
..who are, in fact, a minority of whites overall, aren’t they? i’m not even talking about middle-america, but everywhere. reading this, you’d think poor white people were some sort of rare exception. guess maybe it’s just that we poor white trash folk find this omg-its-so-true crap less amusing.
no shit
[...] Another key factor of divorce is children. On average people who divorce, do so when their children are between the ages of 7-10. Before the birth of their first child, white people like to spend thousands of dollars on books that tell them how to raise children So instead of simply letting their child watch Hannah Montana or work on their jumpshot, they will take them on weird activities suggested by some over educated individual with a PHD or force them to read a book that is meant for a 9th grader. This often leads to white children hating their parents espcially when they don’t live up to their expectations. [...]
Gifted children yes, but at the same time making it perfectly clear that their children are in no way gifted based on hard work or genetic factors but due to the oppression of other people. Very important to remember…………..
Right, people don’t become intelligent because of genetic factors and education; just like they don’t become tall because of genetic factors and diet, or good athletes because of genetic factors and coaching.
It’s all achieved through the oppression of others, just like wealth and good looks are.
This wouldn’t be so funny if it weren’t true!!
My extremely articulate, white, middle class son is failing all his high school classes. The administration tells me that it’s because he’s so smart he’s bored
)
Being a “genius” won’t help him when he can’t get a job flipping burgers cos employers will be suspicious of a white boy with no qualifications.
Oddly enough, his Hispanic and black friends get better grades but are just considered “dumb”
Your kid sounds like he’s “too smart” to flip burgers anyway.
Burgers don’t need flipping anymore. Some brilliant asian engineer developed a rack system that automatically flips burgers–now in most fast-food joints. So you’re son will not have to face that problem.
He’ll be fine.
“Gifted children yes, but at the same time making it perfectly clear that their children are in no way gifted based on hard work or genetic factors but due to the oppression of other people.”
I supposed that would be _other_ white people’s children, not their own …
meritocracy explains all my successes ( and none of my failures)
hum…. I don’t know about white people being gifted they may have better schools and programs but I can’t say I even met a gifted white person. I lived in many places where I was the only black person in class and like the 5th in the school, I don’t remember the teaches ever saying any of them are gifted. White people may had book smarts but they damn sure don’t have any common sense. A person who lacks common sense is a very dumb person. I know white people are crazy, not only did they own slaves who they beat, raped, and killed. They are also perverts, They are who you see on nbc’s to caught a predator, Wanting to get with little girls and boys, I don’t think that is genius, What about the WHITE guy that got caught 3 times. Most serial killers are White, I think they all are WHITE expect one. At least blacks are genius enough not to kill everybody and rape kids, What about the WHITE women who lied about being raped by a black men, When all they wanted was some good D***, are they geniuses? They put innocent men in jail for nothing. Well, again I don’t know about them being geniuses, But I do know the person who wrote this article need to be locked up for not getting fact right
you fucking moron how dare you go off on white people without being willing to take the heat back about black people, don’t even get me started about inner city crime and drug statistics. and what the fuck is that noise that black people listen to called rap?
First of all, at least white men do not make a habit of acting like horny neanderthals every time a semi attractive woman walks by.
Secondly, Africans enslaved themselves too. I’m not saying slavery is acceptable, but you can’t condemn us for a blemish your people have on their history too.
Also, I go to this crazy thing called college. Guess how many black people are there? Not many. Then subtract the ones who got there for sports and you’ll see how dumb white people aren’t.
By the way, how many rape charges by white girls were made erroneously? You’ve got to be kidding.
And by the way, you sound really smart with your grammatical and spelling errors. And common sense? It makes common sense to go to college and do well. But it seems that your people can’t get their shit straight.
Go ahead and call me racist, folks. I’ve got a black dad who would be happy to smack the ignorance out of this poster. This poster was not only severely insulting, he/she was severely mistaken.
what about Michael Jackson?
yeah blacks who kill numerous people aren’t called serial killers they are called gangbangers and drug dealers.
hey blackascanbe. you forgot one important fact- most poeple on welfare, in prison etc. are black. that shows that as a race y’all fucked up
What you meant to say was that there is a disproportionally high number of black people on welfare but in raw numbers there are more white people on welfare. The black people are still overcoming hundreds of years of institutionalized racism what’s the white people’s excuse?
“what’s the white people’s excuse?”
Hum… they have bigger raw numbers to start with?
Or maybe they are being crushed by institutionalized reverse racism (affirmative action)?
Every group of people produce their misfits. Even the Japanese. What is the Japanese excuse to be on welfare, even when, as a group, they are more successful than any other including, yeah, whites?
It’s just that blacks credit all their misfitting to racism.
It’s quite simple, KlySha: they are the WRONG kind of white people.
Wow, I just remembered that I am white and I have never owned a slave and neither has a single person in my family (yup even if you go back hundreds of years). In fact, my grandparents grew up picking cotton in the fields with blacks and whites. Are you a slave? Oh yeah, probably not because it is almost non existent in the US now. Thanks for being a racist idiot. Also, your statistics are fucked up. White and black people are equally able to do evil. After all, who sold the slaves to white colonists? Other black people. Every person is capable of evil, it’s the choices we make, not the color of our skin, that dictates who we are.
Oh, and to this post… Only children with certain IQs were in the gifted programs in my schools. It was a small percentage of children, and they came from all ethnic backgrounds.
Your forebears may have never owned slaves and mine may never have been slaves, but don’t ever, ever, ever, minimize the evil that was chattel slavery in the United States. Not only is it unfortunately relevant today since it was that evil institution which gave rise to the socioeconomic ills affecting blacks today and the racism that still exists in the hearts and minds of many whites. I don’t care how many blacks sold their brothers and sisters into slavery; they had no way of knowing what awaited them in the New World. Slavery has existed as long as man. But that can in no way diminish the effect of slavery on America’s blacks or Africa. Would you dare to diminish the tragedy of the Jewish people? Or the Japanese? Don’t do it to my people. In my mind, you minimization of my history is racist.
“Would you dare to diminish the tragedy of the Jewish people? Or the Japanese?”
No. But would I dare attribute all evils happening to them *NOW* to the tragedies happened generations ago? Do Jews have a free pass to be ignorant and poor because of the ghetto laws under which they lived for centuries in Europe? No. African Americans are poor and ignorant not because of slavery in America, but because they’ve been ALWAYS ignorant and poor. They were ignorant and poor in Africa, they continued ignorant and poor once free in America. They just never developed the culture to rise up above that. Unlike the Jews and Japanese.
When blacks stop crediting all their shortcommings to dealings happened generations ago, and start striving towards acquiring a culture of knowledge, work and wealth, they too might learn how to do it. Like Jews and Japanese once did.
Rule #1
Never argue with an idiot… violate this rule at your own peril.
tonight 30 black men will die at the hand of 30 other black men in the name of keeping it real. 10,000 black men will die in the name of this cause. keep it real and remember all this is whities fault. ur thought process is like cancer and if it was not for illeagels crossing the boarder, we would have no work force. you are forgetting that some of us whities grew up with blackies, schools, churches, court systems, neighbors, while you are keepin it real, i am giving my work to someone that will make me money, peace
Wow, what profound remarks.
YOU ARE A MORON
“BLACKASCANBE on April 17, 2008 at 5:42 pm
White people may had book smarts but they damn sure don’t have any common sense. A person who lacks common sense is a very dumb person.
At least blacks are genius enough not to kill everybody and rape kids, What about the WHITE women who lied about being raped by a black men, When all they wanted was some good D***, are they geniuses?
But I do know the person who wrote this article need to be locked up for not getting fact right”
Facts are straight read up on it. it like one serial killer that was black and he was brain wash from the white-man war. I am a moron , but you thinks it ok for some one to write a article like, oh wait I am talking to a white person, no common sense
I’m not sure there are many blacks smart enough to be a serial killer. They normally get caught after the first murder/rape/robbery, etc. US prisons are predominantly filled with minorities (some would argue they commit more crimes). However, good call on the to catch a predator comment, bad call on the rest of your post.
Perhaps there aren’t many blacks sick enough in the head to be a serial killer. And, this will blow your mind, US prisons are predominately filled with people of color in large part due to yes, I’m going to say it…RACISM.
ur fired, oh yea, u were never hired cause you never showed up on the first day, i grew up with many black folks and i know, its whities fault because the whotoos chopped off the arms of the tootsies, oh no, my chickens have been roosting for many years and i own my chickens
“Yeah, and I’m talking to a black person, no grammar or vocabulary. ”
That statement is AS idiotic YOUR statement:
“but you thinks it ok for some one to write a article like, oh wait I am talking to a white person, no common sense”
I’ve known and loved many people in my life: Whites, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Indians. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you need to take people as individuals, REGARDLESS of the amount of some fucking chemical in their skin or what some dipshit spews in an echo-chamber, like Jeremiah Wright, David Duke, or that retard who runs the World Church of the Creator.
I’m sorry that your experiences have tainted your view of Whites. At the end of the day, though, Racism, a form of HATE, is evil, and racists, whatever their color, are just fucking stupid. Grow the FUCK up!
Good God, this is a HUMOR website, and my blood pressure is through the roof!
just another white chick 2u on April 29, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Luckily, we “white folks” have enough common sense to know that you are a minority among black people. Not all blacks are as feeble-minded as you are. Most are very well educated and able to see that this blog is a JOKE!
SECONDED!
Luckily, we “white folks” have enough common sense to know that you are a minority among black people. Not all blacks are as feeble-minded as you are. Most are very well educated and able to see that this blog is a JOKE!
You’re an Idiot Savant, but without the pesky savant part.
That’s funny. We were all thinking the same about you…
lol I know two dead head druggies and actually witnessed one of them smoking out of a bong and breast feeding her baby. She swears up and down her child is “gifted” we’ll see.
I think you mean “special” as in needs- short bus what ever.
white people like 10 year olds that can do any complex mathematical calculation related to texas holdem in their heads in under two seconds but still have to wear a diaper
Autistics have made significant contributions to society, so I think it’s benifical to have at least a few of them, and don’t see why we should dislike them.
I pooped my pants
More ideas: hospice. Fund raisers for hospice. “Friends of the library” type organizations. NPR fundraisers.
gee, I hope you never need a hospice.
Pages: « 39 … 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 [1] Show All