#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
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Hmmm. I have two teenaged children who actually test in the gifted range–they aren’t “gifted” just on my say-so. While I want them to achieve to meet their potential, I also want them to be able to interact well with people of all ability levels.
Their giftedness is not a reason or excuse for their being unable to relate to the range of people we contact every day. How many people actually live their lives in a little bubble, surrounded only by people like them? To that end, I don’t shelter them, require them to pursue only “smart” interests, or pretend everything they do is great and perfect when it is not.
I taught high school in a “white suburban” community as late as 2007. Everyday I saw the effects of parents who thought their children were gifted.
The children who were pushed beyond their abilities or willingness usually collapsed under the pressure of honors/AP classes and sometimes looked for the easy way out like cheating/plagiarism (notice I wrote “sometimes,” not always). There was even a young man who committed suicide from the school at which I taught because of the disappointment he felt he was to his parents.
Or, they were told from an early age that they were gifted and had an air of entitlement about them and could do no wrong.
Having just had my first child in May, of course I think she is special. However, with my multiple years of teaching experience under my belt, I hope I can find the happy medium of prodding my child to explore her interests and excel in school and not pressure her to make straight As in high school in weighted classes so that she’ll get a full ride to college so mommy and daddy don’t have to go into debt to get her through college.
Every child is gifted in some way. However, very few are truly exceptionally “gifted” in the classic sense of the word as it refers to abilities.
Based on my teaching experience, Clander was right on the money when he wrote this blog.
We refused to arrange a “gifted” program for our son, thinking he’ll do just fine in a regular class;we did not want to be stuck up. Also, we were told by the head of the fancy Private school in NYC that “all our students are gifted”. The result? Our son started to read at 3, at 4 he was improvising on a piano and knew periodic table of elements by heart, including the atomic weight, etc. He built majestic cities out of legos, drew and painted like someone twice his age. He was found to have perfect pitch, memorized “Lacrimosa” part from Mozart’s requiem. When he entered kindergarten of a private Manhattan school, which assured us that “all students here are gifted”, our child had been playing piano and cello with sheer musicality, could multiply and divide, solve word problems with 3 steps, read 2 parts of Harry Potter, enjoyed talking about differences between Ravel and Debussy musical languages.. And what? He was miserable in that kindergarten. He asked me why the books that were read by the teachers had so little text on each page, why children take so long to answer the easiest ever questions, why the teachers like to control everything, etc.
It was worst experience ever, my child got depressed and started to act out in the school– I was sent to the psychologist…
Accelerated education is really necessary sometimes, you know…
When a teacher says all their children are gifted, it’s a sign the teacher is a fool, and does not understand the meaning of the word gifted.
Having antisocial tendencies such as Asperger’s Syndrome can be very beneficial in some careers, most notably tenure track university professors. However, between the ages ~12 and 18 you must guard against the child becoming a goth personality, because this will ultimately lead to the child going on a school shooting rampage.
To Battery Man.
That’s very stereotypical thinking on your part. Do you have so much confidence in your abilities that simply reading about a “social issue” you can diagnose someone with psychiatric/neurological disorder? Why not, PDD has been in fashion for the past 10 years. Thanks for the free diagnosis, but it is not there.
Asperger’s syndrome has nothing to do with the above situation. There is no PDD here, and no communication/social issues that can fit this particular DSM profile. The opposite was true. The child was always tuned in other people’s moods, feelings and body language–that made it ever more painful. He knew why he did not fit in, because he fit in just fine with the children who were 1.5 -2 times older. They got his jokes and they read the same books and listened to the same music.
I have a form of autism, close to Asperger’s though, and the recent phenomena of parents wanted to be sure the child’s behaviors are attributed to an autistic spectrum disorder is on the rise. I came to notice most of the new diagnoses of autism are boys (7 out of 10 people with autism are male), aged 2 to 6 years of age, and white middle-class. Where are the girls? Is it a chromosomal defect affecting more boys, but also occurs in girls? There are millions of autistic adults, and autism happens to all races or classes. It makes me wonder the kind of parents wanna know the child (mostly a boy) acting out is wrong or an “abnormal” behavioral thing. Are black children and women/girls under-diagnosed? and about the older age/later diagnosis of those have Asperger’s syndrome? More we need to know. +
“Are black children and women/girls under-diagnosed?”
Autism is an end of a spectrum of brain specialization. The autistic pole is related to systemic thought and male brain development. It’s expected to be more common among male kids.
Autism does work a little different with black children. Some symptoms are more severe. And it’s less studied.
Aren’t you special!!! You live entirely through your child!! Please learn parts of speech, like proper nouns…..
Lacrimosa for a kindergartener is just too precious, considering it is at least four-part harmony!!!
So you taught your kid color theory….wow! Debussy and Ravel!!!
Easiest questions ever= standard Eng. word order, dear.
tell me, why do you like to control everything, silly?
Mom of two gifted girls….public school students in Indiana……..
thanks for your corrections of my poor English, I am still working on it, after all it’s my fourth language.
I am not living through my child at all, I am “living with him”. And, of course, I take a decent amount of control over his life, as I monitor his diet, health, growth, etc. He is only 9. I live my own life that has a busy schedule, yet my children and my husband come first, naturally.
Why all the fuss, anyway? Your comment to my post is beyond the point, in fact. I wrote about my support for gifted programs and explained my position with a personal example.
Go ahead, and read some literature, if you have not done so up to date as a Mom to 2 gifted girls. You should know that a child with IQ of 130-135 can manage just fine in a mainstream class, while a child (or adult) with IQ over 150 can’t handle the mainstream learning environment, it’s too wide of a gap. By the way, I did not spend hours/weeks teaching my child color theory– as soon as he was able to read he taught himself most of the things, and music requires just listening and experimentation. can’t you relate?
Gifted as your child may be, you’re being stuck-up when you plaster your kid’s accomplishments all over the Internet. I bet you’re one of those parents who tells cashiers in stores what Junior learned today.
We know you love your kid. That’s a given or at least should be; it makes the news when a parent rejects their kid. But no one else does, and it’s irritating as hell when you and five million other proud parents feel that it’s their duty from God to tell as many people the Good News – Little Jimmy knows Mozart! It makes you annoying, and it makes us lesser mortals feel less disposed toward your kid, who didn’t actually do anything wrong! By bragging about his accomplishments, you’re actually working against your kid’s success.
Your kid is unique – just like every other kid.
I have never had a kid, as I’m 17, so I simply speak from irritation at all the parents who put the “Honors Student at _____” bumper sticker on their car. Whoop-de-freakin’-doo.
I was never in a gifted program, although I could read from a reasonably early age. My parents probably had a huge list of the “Amazing Things That Mike Did” that they rattled off to anyone unfortunate enough to be near them for a protracted period of time. Guess how much of a benefit the Huge List gave to my success in life? Zero; in fact, it had a negative impact. I became an entitled kid who was a winner because Mommy said so. It didn’t matter that I was a friendless jerk who said “I’m better than you” because my parents said, “You’re smart, you’re athletic, you’re oh-so-talented.” It’s crap. It took me a long time to realize that I was entitled to nothing, and that I had a lot of learning to do about things that had nothing to do with the stuff I was learning in my zillion AP classes. As it turns out, my honors programs didn’t matter at all; I’m joining the service, and one of the reasons why I am doing it is to get away from the control of my parents. If I went to college, I’d still be in their control, as they’d be paying for it.
You’re playing games with your kid, and yes, you’re living through him. These aren’t signs of things to come; they’re just flukes. Kids memorize random crap. Your kid likes music and chemistry; I liked astronomy. I memorized the moons of Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune, and could tell you the periapsis, apoapsis, orbital period, and inclination of each one. I could also rattle off the capital of every state and half of the countries. Did it mean I was smart? Hell no. It meant I could read and that I could look a poster for a few hours and recall what was on it in my oh-so-cute precocious voice. Today, I couldn’t tell you a single one, mostly because it doesn’t mean anything. Anyone can consume and puke up information. Intelligence is what you do with that knowledge.
As for “majestic Lego cities,” unless his city is equal to or exceeding the complexity of this, http://www.amyhughes.org/lego/church/index.html, I’m not impressed. Why? Because anyone can make a Lego city with enough time. Hell, I made one of those humongous K’nex roller coasters that was bigger than I was. Did it mean I was a genius? Sure, if following a book of basic directions makes you one. Genius is doing something that no one else can do, and I’d bet anything that your kid is not the first to make a Lego city in preschool.
I’m sorry for being an ass, but it really bugs me when I see a future version of myself in the making. Please, don’t make your kid special. It’s just not worth the temporary ego trip. Right now, my parents are asking themselves, “What did we do wrong?” Everything, Mom. Everything starting from when I was a dinky little brat who knew the capital of Chad. I’d have been a lot better off if my parents had told me, “You’re nobody special. You’re a kid from a middle-class family who is smarter than average. Go make something of yourself, and then you’ll be special.”
To the kid joining the service, well said and good luck.
To Lola, your son sounds quite ambitious but he will lose out on being a kid if he’s “accelerated” in every way. If he’s not in a normal school setting at least make him play sports.
I’m totally for letting kids explore their interests, be they in sports, art, music, etc… but when the parents sign little Bobby or Susie up for the Junior Olympics because they enjoy shooting their plastic bow and arrow or send them to Broadway auditions because they like watching musicals, they’re taking it way too far. This is just setting them up for failure. So is letting them go to Montessori schools that don’t teach phonetics, PIE classes that don’t administer tests, so on and so forth, because in real life there WILL BE some kind of system that they will have to deal with.
Okay, so maybe I’m just another high aptitude, public school-educated mainstreamer who is upset about his lack of a “gifted” childhood full of tennis lessons, organic rice cakes, and classical piano lessons. Ha. Nah, I’ve just seen too many people, both friends and family members, stunt their children’s normal social and emotional development by living vicariously through them and trying to sequester them into the “gifted” world.
To Billy Mack,
hi, it is rather easy to misinterpret any post, isnt it?
if you are having in mind my original post, then, where did you get any hints that we sign up our child for Broadway audtions/tennis lessons (not necessarily in literal sense)? I do see a lot of parents who do enroll their kids in every possible activity, that often changes every semester. Some parents are looking for a special talent, and I have seen stage mothers, etc. None applies to us. I believe that if a child expresses strong desires about a certain activity, that’s the one the parent can be helpful with by encouraging and supporting. (Our child likes only one type of sport and will not even try anything new, so he was left alone) However, as I can really speak only about musical education with some confidence, the very top concert instrumentalists from the past and present did not even have a choice to select an instrument they wanted to play. Parents chose it for them and insured practice hours to be regular, steady and supervised. The debate between nature and nurture is not over. Take for instance, Rostislav Rostropovich, a cellist (later conductor as well). Number one in the world. Do you think it was just talent? The contemporary witnesses (including neighbors) reported hours of practicing on open strings, hours! That kind of discipline can be only developed since early childhood. Yo Yo Ma’s mother used to lock him in a closet without lights and refusing to give him food until he did his homework (let it be 5 measures or 5 pages). He was actually beaten by his mother. Everyone read or heard about tortures of Paganini by his father, or Beethoven’s drinking hard father, who made his son practice at 2 am. Mozart’s father was the first most well-known “pushy”, “abusive” parent, a stage father, who did not let his son go to school, and homeschooled W.A. Mozart, so he won’t lose practice time.. Do you know how many hours Joshua Bell practiced? Unless one is a professional musician or from a family or concert performing musicians, people usually live with misconceptions forever.. Now, of course, after reading the above, a person with average attention span will rush to a conclusion that the training methods I described are the ones I apply on our child with rigor. Well, that’s not the case. First of all, I work 5 days a week until 6 pm— all the mothers of future musical virtuosi eventually give up their day jobs, secondly, our child does not want to be a concert instrumentalist– so he is not pushed into it. However, the child wants to learn to play the musical instrument, so practices on his own, 2-3 hours daily. by himself, just like he does his homework before i get home.
OK.
So let me get this straight.
1) Woman posts HER opinion on internet in regards to a forum…where everyone ELSE posts their opinion because it’s encouraged.
Of course, everyone else’s is infinitely better. If they yell their opinion louder with an argument that has nothing to do with the point, they believe they “win.”
Congrats. You win the internet.
2) Everyone else goes off because they don’t want to hear how well someone else’s child does and flat out insults them, like a typical American. This is instead of discussing the possible effects of “gifted children”, instead of personal attacks.
3) everyone forgets they’re on a comedy website and begins their own Jihad on everyone else and flames, because that is the social norm.
It becomes apparent that said people have no real power in life and come on the “interwebz” to feel as though their opinions mean something, unlike real life.
4) 17 year old kid who is still angsty and in the stage of “knowing it all” goes off on a rant about how a parent should and shouldn’t behave when he, himself, still lives with a mommy and daddy who he is angry at.
Angsty McGee seems to have a lot of issues at feeling socially awkward which sounds like a mixture of being in his age group and from truly being gifted, assuming what he said is true. Again, he knows it all and makes it a POINT to put down those with life experience because he BELIEVES he is gifted and higher than everyone else, though he denies it.
5) More lurkers and morons post inappropriate things unrelated in every way, trying to feel like a keyboard warrior.
Fact: John is a sad fellow. Really. This is all he does on the “intar tubes” feeling sorry for himself outside of the ‘net. (Pssst, john! Being a dick and acting like you’re “the shit” on a forum about a stupid topic doesn’t compensate for the size of your e-penis!)
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Has ANYONE ever taken an actual science course on human brain development or children’s psych or anything like that before posting how things ARE, rather than question and learn what they could be?
Fact: There is such a thing as “gifted.” All this means is that the person matured in a different way than his/her peers. They may have a higher IQ which is heavily influenced by environment, while natural ability is based on genetics.
These children TRULY cannot fit in or feel at ease in a “normal” school setting, where others are of different interests, levels, etc. They develop an inferiority complex at times (Mr. Teen Spirit up there) because they feel they cannot just be like everyone else. Everyone wants to feel accepted. They are often shunned by peers, though told they are special by adults.
They bond with children more frequently by nature, so it seems the adults are simply lying.
In the end, yes. Children should do sports. And you can put down arts and sports at a higher level all you want. But maybe you should be open minded, question, think, and inquire before stating facts that cannot be supported or proven wrong as they are opinion.
Those programs help further stimulate them. And, if nurtured correctly, these children can be successful. They can be higher on the food chain than others. While they may be considered “geniuses” in America, it is the standard to be pushed to limits in places like Japan…who often surpasses America in MANY ways, including education. No, don’t go into suicides. Different CULTURE, not cause.
Anyway, the morons who could never be mistaken for gifted (despite grade-inflation and claiming “He’s just too smart!”) will post to this and put it down, covering their ears and yelling “I can’t hear you! I’m RIGHT NOT YOU!”.
Enjoy.
kill yourself
i got a 2380 SAT, which is the 99.94th percentile, and i’m white. but here’s what i’m willing to admit: I did a lot of SAT practice, I’ve always read a lot, and I’m a sick test taker, BUT I’m not gifted! I go to Dartmouth now, and there are SO MANY douchebags here who have been told that they special for their entire lives. i wanna see them show up to job interviews and just expect to get hired because they’re so special.
Meh, this reminds me of that one Everybody Loves Raymond episode with the really annoying kid who is hyperactive and picks on Ray. To his parents, he is just “being creative ad expressing himself.”
Wow, my white genes must be really strong! My daughter is super smart, gifted, gets straight A’s, edits the yearbook, gets a total free ride everywhere she goes, she is 17 and spending her senior year in Germany, thats how cool she is( traveling
and the kicker… SHE is only 1/2 white!!! it doesnt even show, she looks all native, weird. Must be my strong elite German genes doin their magic! woo hoo
Your daughter probably sucks a lot of dick.
We can only hope!
[...] Of course, it’s no surprise that I find his day to day life completely awe inspiring. It’s the right way for a mom to be, I think (provided she still knows that her kid’s diapers still stink). I just couldn’t be more proud of how his little mind is developing. All that sleeping and eating sure are paying off! [...]
Lol… okay some of these posts are reaching… but this one is hilarious. I grew up in a rural area and there was no such thing as “gifted” programs… and now (in the city) I meet kids who are just average and they go on about “g and t” – right….
Don’t get it…
I was gifted once.
im the 2nd type of gifted kid! 20 and smokez da bongzzzz AND lights dogs on fire!!! oya mike vick’n it baby!
…and the gifted of the third kind: Autistic (diagnosed at age 5) , anxiety/depressed, currently checked for ADD/OCD and no, I don’t have Tourette’s, just being rude, foul, not PC or “acting racial” is treated as a modern mental defiency.
Mike Savage acts worse than any autistic person I know of, his infamous remark on Autism is a “fraud”, the “illness de jour” and a pandemic of misdiagnosed kids by worriesome baby-boomer/liberal/yuppie (white American) parents.
In other words, Savage is a liar or a bigot or don’t know s-h-i-t when he speaks over the airwaves. Freedom of speech, but has its’ limits when one is in a career not acting nice or unprofessional. SWPL censored one word: the “N” word.+
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