#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
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Oh So True, although…
You didn’t even mention white peoples’ obsession with their childrens’ looks. White people always have beautiful children who should model from the moment they are birthed. We do have a nasty habit of gossiping about other white peoples’ children however. We can’t wait to insult a newborn just seconds after the proud parent leaves with pictures in tow. “I think it had a tail!” or “Ugh, did you see how misshapen it’s head was?” Comments like these are immediatly followed by “I’m so lucky that MY child doesn’t look like that.” and “MY son is going to be such a heart breaker when he gets older!” Not only are our children always gifted in brains but in form as well. As a cardinal rule though, children from other ethnicities are always adorable and therefore are completely off limits for making snide comments- We’re critical of other white peoples’ children only.
White people sure are hoping the baby comes out with BLUE/beige eyes, BLOND/brown hair and BLANK-white skin. If it’s a boy, needs to gain muscle and be a hard-worker (in the office-no calories burned) and if it’s a girl, never gain any fat and be a pic model (poster child for feminist causes).
Another thing: French women never get fat, just have more body hair, and Native American women are fatter than the fattest whites. Both of them don’t HAVE to wear face makeup and stretchmarks are like medals of honor. White American women on the other hand, get anorexic, pulls out any hair not above their eyes, covered in face makeup (permanent laser surgery) and ashamed of having babies, therefore they don’t have any (or hire a surrogate).
Note the statement above is false, but has a pinch of truth. +
Damn this is a funny blog. And here goes –
I was “gifted” before it became cool to be gifted (I’m in my mid-forties now). I have an IQ of 145, and worked my ass off, so I managed to graduate summa cum laude from college and made Phi Beta Kappa. (I worked my way through college, by the way, just in case anybody wants to assume I got a free ride of any kind. No scholarships for me, because I was kinda lazy in high school).
My kids are gifted. Yeah, gifted. All three have IQ’s right around 140. I had them all tested before entering public school so there would never be a problem getting them placed in the gifted programs. Because an earlier poster was right, gifted programs are taught the way all children should be taught.
The oldest was her high school valedictorian as well as captain of two sports teams. And she’s not a pain in the ass, she’s wildly popular, she’s a wild party girl and she’s paying her own way through college (third year now). At the tender age of 20 she’s earned grants to live and work in other countries. She’s bilingual, she’s getting ready to do something with her life, and I’m really enjoying watching her blossom.
The twins are both in magnet programs at different high schools. One is in the IB program, the other is in an engineering program. They are both on sports teams, and active in Girl Scouts. They are two of the nicest people I have ever known, and they have some of the nicest friends anyone could ever ask for.
How did this happen? Am I really gifted? Am I really a great parent?
Well, yes. Yes I am. Suck on that for a while!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Truthfully, I’ve got my shortcomings and I know what they are. My kids have their own albatrosses and as young adults they are starting to really understand what will hold them back if they don’t act now. Life has never been easy and I assume that it never will be.
Here’s what I hope I’ve taught my kids: Life’s short. Have fun. Work hard, play hard. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Love your family.
If they get that from me, I’ve accomplished what I set out to do in life. That’s the real gift I hope my kids get.
Nobody cares about ANYTHING you just said! No one cares about your IQ, your kids and their IQ, or your life lessons. If you were actually important then you wouldn’t be bragging about your intelligence on an internet forum. And if you were actually smart you wouldn’t be giving your kids hackneyed advice that everyone has heard millions of times! Now STOP trying to rationalize your meaningless existence by saying that if your kids understand your bullshit life lesson (at which they undoubtedly roll their eyes at), that your life would transcend existential futility!
Nice story to share, but no one really care (rhymes).
Maybe the kid uses their intelligence for an advantage, or when one has an education available to them (and not equally distributed even in the USA) they will have a great life. The trouble is, one doesn’t need to be a college grad. to be in the middle-class, just a high school degree is fine.
The governments in all 50 US States and D.C. still requires mandatory school attendance to all minors. But why is it only poorer, black or “delinquent” kids go to juvie or jail? All because they didn’t wanna show up for class or in school. +
I’m sorry Asians are right up there with the white people on this one.
I have to admit my childrens are gifted.
At Christmas and on their b-day.
That makes them twice gifted.
I have to admit my childrens are gifted.
At Christmas and on their b-day.
That makes them twice gifted.
I’m proud.
I was very smart when I came to America and they thought I was “gifted”. They put me in one of thosee classes and when I came, all the blue-eyed, blonde-haired spoiled brats looked at me in disgust. Why is a foreigner here? They’re all stupid because they’re not from here!
Idiots.
I am now a smart-alecky genius who now scoffs in their faces and pounds them into the dirt while I walk away and they cry, smearing their mascara and eyeliner in their all-to-tight Hollister rags.
That felt good to get off my chest.
Are all the people posting here white? This is fascinating. So, you think learning your history, your music, your art, your business models, etc., makes you special — or dare I say — gifted?
Gifted is having to learn something from a perspective that doesn’t even remotely represent reality. White people really aren’t the dominant species in the world, as quiet as it’s kept.
Wow! Thank God for this site. It really gives me insight into how you all think. My kids won’t even need affirmative action with all I’ve learned today.
To J
You just completel missed the point. The poster is making fun of everyone who thinks their kids are gifted.
It is actually hysterically funny if you know people like this.
Since I have ordinary children with weird quirks, I’m laughing my head off.
I’m sorry, but I do have gifted children and they are not a bed of roses. My youngest son is what is called profoundly gifted: set up his own yahoo account when he was 5, read at age 3. A kid like this does not fit into the school system and he actually does not like any kids his own age because he can’t relate to them. Some kids truly are different, and have valid exceptional needs. My son can debate me like an adult, has a brain that works like lightning and is incredibly active. He can’t stand it if he is not learning something new. His brain just goes that fast. School can really be a punishment to kids like this. I know that many parents used the gifted label incorrectly, but that doesn’t nullify the fact that there are truly gifted kids out there.
I was like this too… but my parents weren’t as understanding or supportive you are of your son… they thought a child should be seen not heard and God forbid she be smarter than they…
You’re right, school is torture, it’s oppressive and suffocating and it is also difficult to relate to kids one’s own age because one is at a whole different level of comprehension…
Moreover, those kids and their parents that used the label “gifted” incorrectly always bothered me… a gifted child is a special situation where a kid possesses naturally, highly developed intellectual and subsequent emotional needs… it’s not synonymous with children who expresses strong individuality which now a days is pretty much everyone’s child.
I love giving children as gifts! They really are the gift that keeps on giving……. and so functional too….. they can do the dishes, mow the lawn, paint the house, do the laundry and other chores…. and they are tax deductions….. I grown my children in the basement- keeps them real white.
Conversely, nothing is quite as socially appalling as ‘re-gifted’ children. It’s a shock to have someone give a perfectly good child back to you a year later thinking you wouldn’t remember the little rascal.
OMG Sarah I love you.
Both of my kids are gifted and I’ve done my best to model discouragement and meanness to them.
perhaps it’s more important to teach, encourage, and model kindness- if you want your child to really excel in this world…
Best post entry in the blog so far, I can’t agree with you more. Teach important lessons, encourage right morals, and model kindness for others. Whether the child learns from mom, dad, neighbors, friends, teachers, role models of any kind, in church, at a park, or among peers on campus. Learning about the world from your eyes…your head…and your heart, is what teaches the child to become who he/she is, and “one is the center of one’s universe”. +
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