#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
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That is SO true yet SO annoying. Literally I never met anyone -especially women- in my life that did not have a “gifted” kid. Based on this fact, I can tell I will have gifted kids some day and brag about their ability to speak multiple languages and talent at Arts etc for ever… It will be my payback time for years of listening to their “cute” stories.
Women who are pregnant are urged to eat fish, avoid wine and abstain from certain meds. (unless for prenatal stress/ postnatal depression). In those families, both addictions, mental illnesses/disorders and “gifted” code word-autistic children come together. To seen alcoholic/psychotic moms have mildly retarded/obsessive-compulsive/ADD-stricken children indicates a genetic trait in these families, though I have autism and my father’s side has alcohol abuse, with all his 3 kids (and a grandson) with a learning disability. +
I was put into the gifted program as a 2nd grader, and it was great until high school when the gifted were put into this class called global which is an AP level English/social studies class as a freshman, and then put into world as sophomores which is the same thing basically, but harder, and now my GPA is horrible because I wasn’t properly prepared to succeed in those classes and I’m suffering and wondering if any college worth going to will accept me. yayyy gifted program.
Or maybe you just suck because you’re lazy and incapable of studying, which is basically all you really have to do for AP/Higher level courses.
-Veteran of Gifted courses, AP classes & the IB program.
Think you nailed it Gloria!! Can you imagine getting that opportunity in 2nd Grade, then complaining in High School that you weren’t prepared for it properly? Hmmmm…
Well now, you’ve got the personality of a keeper.
(Note the sarcasm)
I had trouble coming out of gifted classes and into more advanced educational classes. Let it be known I still graduated though, managed to get into my choice school, and recently finished a PhD in Petroleum and Natural Gas Engineering.
I agree that studying is very important and you can push through those AP and advanced study classes. Some people don’t adapt very well though.
Shut up.
SPAM! that you pan. I eat green eggs and spam, yes I am get back at pan. Teach a child to read and he/she turns out “gifted”
Eat more fish, in which the preg. (cant’ say) expects a smarter kid-sh. Mercury’s effect on the unborn and those already alive went through mercury poisoning, seem to have “gifted” but disabled kids or “smart yet silly” behaviors: nicknamed the Mad Hatter syndrome, but now called Minamata disease or the Autism-childhood Vaccine theory. +
From one “gifted” kid to another my least favorite word is “potential”. I agree with the boredom issue and may I add that creativity quickly leads to creative ways of making trouble.
I guess I should have specified why it infuriates my teachers: I don’t listen in class. I don’t read the book. I don’t do the homework. So how do I know the stuff? I already knew it. Years ago. So they can’t even claim they’re responsible for what I know. That really screws with them, which, I confess, is EXACTLY what I want.
I am impossibly amused. I am considered gifted, though I must admit it drives my parents crazy because I do get bored. And refuse to do my homework. And I get some of the highest test scores in my school. So it drives my teachers crazy, too. Thankfully I make up for it with my creativity, so they always have proof that I’m “gifted”. It’s hysterical how accurate this actually is. And then it scares me because now I know exactly what to expect from myself as I get older.
I was a gifted kid. I am now in medical school. I am white beyond belief.
Aly, according to Hans Asperger and the Nazi T-4 program, the “gifted” kids must be autistic or have Ashkenazi Jewish ancestors. The unusual rate of genetic melodies among the Jewish people from Tay-sachs to Hodgkinson’s defies main-stream science who say Jews aren’t a race nor any bit gene-tically different, has a long history of families have genetic inherited melodies or certain traits to created stereotypical “Nice Jewish boy nerds” like Woody Allen (a comedian-director), and Albert Einstein (a genius said to been labeled “retarded” as a child). +
I was tested in late grade school or early junior high and put into gifted program. “Gifted program” at my school consisted of being pulled out of class once a week for 30 minutes and doing brain-teaser puzzles.
The gifted students in our public schools are an overlooked group. They really do need extra challenges or more advanced materials, but instead they are kept at the level of everyone else in the class.
I was so bored in school that I became a bit of a problem child. I’d try to find “unique” ways to tell the teacher I was bored, but it just landed me in the principals office. (Yelling out the answers before anyone else in class could answer, answering my math homework in roman numerals or binary, writing essay answers to test questions in spirals, etc.)
College wasn’t so bad because most of my classes had very little homework, it was mainly lecture and test. Or problem-solving project, since I majored in computer science (identify problem, work out a solution for it, figure out implementation of said solution).
In the “real world” though, I struggled my first few years in the work force. I never had to learn to motivate myself since A’s and B’s came so easily to me in school. And I was used to getting by with minimal effort but above-average results; which doesn’t translate well from school to career.
I really feel like it was almost more of a curse than a blessing to be a “gifted child”.
so true. but people still don’t put me in gifted classes and i get so bored in normal classes.I can fall asleep in science class for a week and when friday comes I get a A without cracking open a book. To me its so obviouse. same with literature.I got the top of my class in all subjects but they still don’t put me in gifted! I had got a perfect 100 in soc.studies and they still don’t put me in gifted.Whats up with that?
I agree completely with the last statements – I don’t think I was ever labelled a ‘gifted’ child (we’re a lot less pretentious here in Australia), but above average results in all areas came easily. Even if I didn’t do something all that well, it was always expected that I would do well so I’d received a good grade. Being great at everything all the time also makes you incredibly arrogant, particularly if your parents think you’re a remarkable person, so that every achievement becomes proof of your brilliance and genius. Growing up was a complete shock! Meeting people who could out-argue me, see through me, getting a ‘pass’ grade (shock horror!) at University, and finally working at an extremely challenging job with responsibilities and deadlines. My self-esteem is completely destroyed, and now I have to build & develop the usual qualities which should have been taught to me as a child. Definitely a curse!
I am an Australian as well and have almost the exact story. I got by without work and was quite suprised when in my 4th year of uni I had to use my brain. I lacked organisational skills and the discipline required to apply myself. Most people I knew laughed and welcomed me to the real world…. My daughter now has to work hard to get high grades and I am so excited as she is obtainig the study skills I still struggle with!!
Ohh OOOOh i was pulled out to do the same kinda shit!
Labelling a kid gifted is a guaranteed way to f**k that kid up for life. Most of them rebel and become coke heads or bulimics.
I believe so, the same way an athletic child gets pushed into little league and the parents get bent outta shape when he can’t win most of the games he plays in. The kid does the things to fulfill the parent’s dreams, like to push a hyperactive child to get into acting…or put enough ritalin in his/her system to calm the (blank) down. +
Touche…I was a “gifted/creative” child (in reality, just a girl with Asperger’s syndrome and obsessive-compulsive tendencies) and later developed bulimia and anorexia. When I think back on the other “gifted” kids I knew, though, pretty much all of them ended up getting better grades, scoring better on tests, and attending better colleges than I did. That’s because they were actually smart, and while I won’t say I’m stupid, I do think that the things at which I excel have more to do with compulsions than with actual intelligence. But as a child, nobody could tell the difference, so I was “gifted,” and then they were surprised when I started sucking at school and failing in social situations…and rather than handle it like a mature adult, suck it up and work harder, I developed an eating disorder.
Being labeled “gifted” will only f*** you up if you aren’t actually gifted.
yay thanks for labeling me before you even know anything about me
in b4 but you’ll really be bulimic anyways!!!11
There was a study that showed people with higher IQs also had a higher rate of alcoholism (or just drank more)…I don’t have a link for the article though…
Interesting
‘According to the October 2008 American Journal of Public Health, “higher childhood mental ability was related to alcohol problems and higher alcohol intake in adult life.” Although more research will be done in the area of childhood IQ and adult alcohol use, the AJPH should be of interest to people working with gifted students’
http://giftededucation.suite101.com/article.cfm/gifted_students_and_alcohol_awareness
Looks like ill have to ponder this over a glass of scotch while listening to jazz music before my ADD kicks in after 15 mins of relaxation on turn the tv back on…..
Gifted means advanced, special means retarted… ahh what the fuck its all the same to me. When i was young if i messed up in school i got my ass beat, then i got too old and big for a spanking, but by then i already realized that stupid people dont make alot of money. So the rest was all self motivation.
You know what’s even worse? When you get labeled “gifted” and “special” at the SAME TIME. Yeah.
I pretty much did all my learning outside school. They didn’t know what to do with me, and I didn’t want much to do with them.
I’m Black and grew up poor, but demonstrated the ability to thrive in an academically advanced curriculum therefore a really great teacher in my neighborhood school took notice and talked my mother into taking me to test for the gifted program offered at a school in an all Polish neighborhood. Needeless to say I passed, went on to a magnet highschool (where Michelle Obama was alumni) graduated then went on to a top tier university (Northwestern) and life is good.
I do not feel that I was any wiser than the kids in my neighborhood, or in my family, but I had better access to learning tools and enthusiastic educators. We even had a computer lab which was unheard of at the time. Unfortunately none of the kids in my Englewood neighborhood (where Jennifer Hudson’s family was murdered) were as lucky, but all it takes is a handful of teachers that give a damn and are dedicated to education to make a difference. If these children lack the foundation, independence and success as adults becomes an uphill battle.
Good story, but you shown both black people and Polish people are (gasp) SMART. I heard tons of Polish jokes:
“you heard the Polish space program wants to put a spaceship to land on the sun’s surface?”
“How did the Polish army pushed back the invading Nazis or Soviets? They marched backwards.”
“The Irish in Dublin knew Poles are the ones who at night see a street lamp and all gather or swarm around its’ light like moths”.
“The Pope is Polish-ing up the Jews and Gypsies, that way they can open more empty chain stores.”
and “Poles, they really do stick together.”
Yeah, the Poles passed as white people, but the first Polish immigrants had to pass the INS test not required for US-born African-Americans. +
really thats so cool from chicago too.
There is lies the heart of the matter – Someone that gives a damn and motivates a child to work to their potential and be successful! I am the mother of several gifted children (IQ’s above 145) and a son that has an IQ of 85, is severely hearing impaired, and schizophrenic + I am an LD/CD Cluster (low Resource kids); and I know what a difference believing in a student’s abilities can make. Our education system definitely does not do enough for our youth to excel – and, instead, encourages students to be ‘average.’ What a loss! I’m glad that there was a teacher there to see past the color of your skin, and where you came from, to what your future truly could be!
Oh…my…god! Little Johnny knows that 1 + 1 = 2!!! and he’s only 2 years old! He can spell “dog”! It’s obvious to me that he will cure cancer someday.
…
No offense to anyone named “Johnny” or “Little Johnny,” though. ‘Specially if you DO cure cancer (in that case, thanks!).
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