#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
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Everyday, we bathe in Cracker pride! We get genius in stereo with our 7-year-old twin girls!
‘Gifted’ people who tell others that giftedness means nothing are like rich people who tell poor people that money can’t buy happiness.
Jay, M.Ed. in Gifted Education
So great to see we have a master in gifted education to school us.
God this is like, so insightful! I am SUCH a shit – a racist, a homophobe and have delusions about my child. Imagine thinking he is bright and wanting him to succeed at school! Whats’ wrong with letting him take his chances – survival of the fittest and all that.
I will immediately pull him out of his nice school immediately and send him to the owrst dump I can find. Thatll teach the little bugger to be white AND male.
With any luck he’ll leave education functionally illiterate, turn to crime or work for minimum wage. How PC is that!
Way to go, andrew, that’s the American redneck spirit of how to educate your kids. Tell junior he can’t succeed at school or in life, because of a conspiracy to only allow rich white people to run the country…and to add Jews, gays, feminists and liberals are at fault too. Keep the child from turning into a green hippie/pinko commie/colorblind gender-neutral nerd by sending him to some private military boys school in a Middle Eastern or South American country. LOL!
You are obviously an idiot! People come in all colors and ideologies for a reason…because we are Americans!
That is the beauty of this country. You can be what-ever or whom-ever you choose.
Reminds me of a comment by woman who taught in an elementary school gifted and talented program, “There are a lot more talented than gifted”.
My algebra II teacher spent 10 minutes last week teaching us how to do functions and then told us we were ahead of “probably about 99.99999999% of everybody else on it.” (Note that I go to a private, Catholic school in Iowa, so only about 4 people out of 200 aren’t completely white.) My guess is he wanted us to relay that message to our parents.
Freaking a. I hate that my sister is considered “gifted” so every white teacher she has goes crazy for her
Sorry, I think this one is all people all races, every freaking day at work I hear how so and so’s child is “the smartest two year old ever”. Doesn’t really matter race…i think everyone who has children and give a crap does this….
for the record it is crazy annoying if everyone were a genius the word would have no meaning, however, I do not tell people this becase I know they will be insulted.
At the same time if i hear about how another three year old who knows their colors is obviously going to be the next president I am seriously going to puke!
I raised three healthy happy children and they all were normal and were raised to be good people instead of ‘to be gifted’. My first child was tested at age three and ranked genius. Then was tested again at age five and ranked normal. She was embarrassed by the thought of being singled out and made to take gifted classes, so did badly on the second test.
She (with all of this intelligence) got pregnant at 16, quit high school and is 27 and no college in sight!
On the other hand…my youngest is dyslexic and has learning problems…she graduated with honors and is in college right now! Proving that gifted is bullshit and you get from life what you put into it!
It’s charity…
http://www.brainbooger.com/2/post/2009/09/twilight-part-6.html
This is off topic, but I just have to tell you that kids here in Newington Green, London, UK, ride tiny WOODEN BICYCLES. They probably get them from the shop in the China Inland Mission that sells retro toys. (And I have to confess I like it and it has some nice stuff.) Just round the corner is a children’s cafe (it’s doing well and hosts art clubs and birthday parties). People come here to have two children and then move to Crouch End because the secondary schools here are too … mixed. You can get a latte at Belle Epoque, Shine, the Acoustic Cafe or that other one opposite the toyshop that has farmhouse tables with herbs growing in recycled olive oil tins. (I think I made that up but I’m not sure.) Thank goodness there are still some Turkish shops that stay open till midnight, a Turkish old man’s club, a Turkish patisserie, a fish and chip shop, a fried chicken shop and a really friendly chav bakery. The latte drinkers probably love diversity but they don’t go into the patisserie, bakery or chip shop.
I feel better now. Perhaps I should pay you $50. (Do you have a section on psychotherapy? Or is it less hip now that CBT is flavour of the month?) If you’re ever in the UK, come and visit!
HAHA I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and think it’s DEF just a funny!!
Is there a stuffjewishpeoplelike.com ??
It has to be certified kosher and not have a bit of good ol’ anti-Semitism. Since anime and prime time toons are popular with everyone, including Jews: “Dr. Katz, Home Videos, Rugrats and other psycho-babble toons produced by Klasky-Csupo, and anything NOT made by Walt Disney”.
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