#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
January 23, 2008 by clander
White people are pretty conflicted about their culture. On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture. But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture: the KKK, colonialism, slavery, Jim Crow laws, feudalism, and the treatment of native americans.
One way they can make up for it is becoming marginally acquainted with foreign cultures. It is generally acceptable for a white person to learn a few terms in a language spoken primary by non-whites (such as Chinese, Tagalog or Portuguese). They can then use these phrases to order certain ‘more authentic’ dishes in restaurants.
White people can also take passing interest in film, politics, music or art from these countries. When they actually meet someone from that country, or at least who has parents from that country they cannot wait to engage you in all the details that they have learned.
“Have you heard the new Andy Lau CD? It’s awesome!”
It is imperative that you recognize how special and unique this white person is for knowing about your culture. Acceptable responses include “Wow, I’ve never seen a white person order chicken feet,” or “How did you find about that film? I didn’t think they had dubbed it yet.”
These responses will fill white people with that self satisfaction they need. Also, they consider a reminder that they are not racist, which also makes them feel terrific.
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Actually, I hate about 90% of cultures on the planet. As long as someone is good and white washed, I like you no matter what race you are.
Eating with chopsticks is another way to convey uber sophistication.
Actually what I love is when I see white people using chopsticks on dishes, asian dishes, that don’t call for chopstick usage! Thai people don’t use chopsticks practically at all. I’ve seen white people eat Japanese curry with chopsticks! WTF! Even Japanese know that 2 sticks can’t pick up a liquid!
That $h!ts hard! Hand me a fork please!
I looove this one!!!!!! I’m Korean and I’ve had a white guy say to me: “You don’t know REAL Korean food because you haven’t been to the K-town restaurants in LA.”
…
Haha… I’ve had similar experiences. I’m Filipino and I speak Tagalog fluently. Some guy tried to tell me that I said a Tagalog phrase incorrectly because he learned something else in a book. He REALLY believed that he was right. What do I know- I’ve just been speaking the language my entire life.
I just don’t get people like that.
“White” people just love knowing stuff. The more they know the smarter they feel. They also want to know what others don’t which has led too many items on this list. Indie, vintage, and obscure appear again and again in these posts. So this leads them to learn about foreign cultures and spew all the facts they know to their friends and anyone who even has a slight resemblance to the a person from said culture.
You just forgot to say that usually that Andy Lau CD was never heard in his/her country of origen… “Being an expert in your culture” is usually a faux pas.
Can’t agree more
pretty sure that portuguese people are white…
Not all Portuguese people are white…look up what language people from Angola or Mozambique speak… In Brazil and Portugal there are white & black people just LIKE the USA.
surely not all portuguese people are brazilian or angolan so i guess the guy has a point portuguese people are white where as angolans and brazilians ect arent portuguese they just speak it…. just like white and black americans speaking english but they’ll be damned if they call themselves british
i am pretty sure they speak portuguese in brasil and macau.
yes, they do speak portuguese there, because it was brought from portugal, which is in europe, where people are white. very similar to the people from england, who are white, and brought english to places like jamaica, where not everyone is white. (sarcasm intended). by the way i know 3 people from brazil and they are all white, im not sure why the author thinks only or mostly nonwhite people speak portuguese
…most speakers of Portuguese aren’t white. Countries that speak Portuguese: Angola, Mozambique, Cabo Verde (all in Africa), East Timor (southeast Asian island), Brasil (which is where I live, and where the majority of the population is mixed), Goa (not a country, but part of India where they speak Port.), and Portugal, which is only a small percentage. All of this is indeed sarcasm…but learn some geography.
haha, shut up you dick. Portuguese came from Portugal, so it is a white language. Have the inferior races added anything worthwhile to this White European language? No more than American coons have to English, unless you count “Yo” and “a’iiiiiight”.
“white people” are a myth
in the modern world we live in “race” is generally a myth, when people are tested for their global genetic history very few people, (less than 6%), are purely the “race” they claim. The extreme majority of people have mixed ethnic genetics, in essence, very few people are actually purely white, black, asian, indian, etc. (and yes this actually does apply to all “races” in all parts of the world, even the areas that “white” people never invaded, just remember ‘white’ people weren’t the only one’s invading, migrating, or travelling to other parts of the world throughout history)
Ugh.
Nothing wrong with being proud of White European culture….great music, art, literature and advances in technology came from Europe.
All the sports that blacks like and play on the professional level were invented by whites in America.
an english man invented baseball… doesnt matter what colour he was he was just english
You are absolutely WRONG! This comes to show how effen ignorant white people are. My people (native people from the “Americas”) have been doing EVERYTHING before white people’s primitive butts’ stepped foot in this land, including bathing.
Read this following book:
American Indian Contributions To The World.
Okay so the fact that “white” people had a culture with clothing, sports, music, entertainment, religion etc etc etc, all their own and fashioned ships that enabled trade and eventually travel across the seas is lost to you?!?! Give me a break! Your people had no idea what the fuck was across the ocean before those people even made to this land!!! If you claim that even a majority of concepts and items were created by native people then you’ve got a terrible case of megalomania. So I repeat: “YOUR CULTURE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF THE WORLDS TECHNOLOGY.” Oh and if you really want to get technical, the first known civilization is located in a little patch of dirt between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers known presently as Iraq. That is where all of us come from.
fuck you. primitive? you retard.
Actually, the Aztecs invented the use of rubber balls for games and european modified them into games like basket ball; native americans played lacrosse, etc. It’s great how after whites invented the rules for the games, non-whites proceeded to dominate them. Baseball has been very good to me, indeed.
Maybe would be better to say:
“All the sports that blacks like and play on the professional level were invented by whites”.
The most popular game in the world, soccer, was invented by whites in England.
Than we made it better, down here in Brasil.
)
In Portuguese…
You, as well as many (for want to say most) other commentors I’ve read on this blog, seem to have completely missed the point.
but that’s what makes the site so much fun. only the superior-level white people have the mastery of white-irony (where you pretend to criticise white people to negotiate your own guilt and confusion about your own identity)
the one’s that miss it are hilarious, but not the main game. I love the one’s who get it most like me. (check my fixed-gear bike, organic vegetable coop, obama-supporting, hip-hop ‘digging’, italian speaking, gradschool attending, white arse if you want to know…)
good work to all concerned.
The fella who put this thing together is, of course, the whitest of the white, because he turns this white-irony into cash-money (buy the book fuckers), and ‘street cred’.
ultimate.
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