#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
January 23, 2008 by clander
White people are pretty conflicted about their culture. On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture. But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture: the KKK, colonialism, slavery, Jim Crow laws, feudalism, and the treatment of native americans.
One way they can make up for it is becoming marginally acquainted with foreign cultures. It is generally acceptable for a white person to learn a few terms in a language spoken primary by non-whites (such as Chinese, Tagalog or Portuguese). They can then use these phrases to order certain ‘more authentic’ dishes in restaurants.
White people can also take passing interest in film, politics, music or art from these countries. When they actually meet someone from that country, or at least who has parents from that country they cannot wait to engage you in all the details that they have learned.
“Have you heard the new Andy Lau CD? It’s awesome!”
It is imperative that you recognize how special and unique this white person is for knowing about your culture. Acceptable responses include “Wow, I’ve never seen a white person order chicken feet,” or “How did you find about that film? I didn’t think they had dubbed it yet.”
These responses will fill white people with that self satisfaction they need. Also, they consider a reminder that they are not racist, which also makes them feel terrific.
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Iran pronounced(ee-ran) ohh where is that? The middle east ass hole where? Next to Iraq ohhh (I. Ran) and the other side is from Wisconsin “is that in Europe”?
I dont care if a white guy wrote this or not. Someone of a different culture or nationality would have a pretty good idea of what white people like since they probably reminded on a daily occurance that they are not or they are something different than the norm! Or they are called acting white! That’s a big one since we have a black pres. I really don’t care I thought that was a great way to mock you!
White people don’t have a culture, they’re white. I’m a asian raising white kids. There’s a flip. That could be on the list to adopting foreign babies! They ask what they are and i say your white. Your simple and uncomplicated and are whatever you want to be. It won’t matter they will just be mocked if they want to take on the beliefs of another culture.
I love this list and the silly people that take it serious!
White people love to pass judgment on what they know is right and good after all they founded this great country that gives us the freedom to do such hilarious things as this! yeah.
point and laugh at the organic section and the lady in her workout outfit, scarf, highlights and peacoat with her key fob and $500 bag!
I hate when white people try and take an interest in MY culture when they don’t even know where it is!!!!!
“Where are you from?”
“Bulgaria.”
“Oh, where is that?”
“In Europe”
“Ooo, like France?”
My country is NOWHERE near France, much less like them.
I then have to tell them where it’s next to and then they still don’t know where it is!!! Look at a map once in a while people!!!!!!!
Are you…serious? You hate when people try to take an interest in your culture? Would you prefer that no foreigner attempts to learn anything about Bulgaria at all? AFAIK, not everyone was born in or near Bulgaria. You should be flattered, not insulted, that somebody wants to find out where you are from and *gasp* is stupid enough to ask you a basic question about it. Is the average non-Bulgarian person supposed to google “Bulgaria” in their spare time so they don’t have to bother offending a real Bulgarian if they ever meet one? By the way your comment isn’t really relevant to the post, given that being Bulgarian, you are most likely white.
yeah that not necessarily white people, but stupid people…lol i hear comments like this all the time and i can’t even believe it sometimes..
I have eaten Cow Foot Stew in an small village in a certain Caribbean country. Jah mon.
Port-Au-Prince?
Well as long as we are generalizing about “white people” I think we should spend a few minutes thinking about our actions. Lets start out by saying all white people are not the same just like all African American people are not the same. I’m tired of white people being the target for generalized jokes. If a white person wrote an article that talked about what black people do it would not be acceptable. Why does there have to be a double standard. White people can’t get away with it and African American people can. That is the known fact of society today but, just because African Americans can get away with it doesn’t mean they should do it. This is America in 2009 and we have an African American president. I don’t know if you realize this, but white people are the majority in America. This means that a large number of white people elected Barack Obama because of what he stands for. This means that white people don’t think all black people are the same. Whites believe that blacks can be individuals and can even lead the country. I guess what I am trying to say and I will generalize so that everyone that has read and commented on this blog will understand. BLACK PEOPLE ARE DOING WHAT WHITE PEOPLE DID TO THEM IN THE PAST. Would it get under your skin if I said all black people love gangster rap, watermelon, and chicken feet in a blog. Ya, people would be pissed. So don’t generalize about white people in the same way. Thank you
It’s not a double standard; African-Americans have been targeted for centuries.
You can say Black people. Dont be scared if someone gets offended either – they call White people White people and Asian Asian.. Its unfair to do otherwise –
Say Black..
Love Black
BELIEVE BLACK!!!
BEEE….. okay I’m done
‘Black’ is actually less precise, but more accurate. Case in point: I’m Black, but not African American. The folks who produce the SATs think it would take way too long to include a separate bubble for every Black country, and since most of them are in Africa, anyway, well, why not kill forty-seven birds with one stone?
Did you feel like an idiot when you found out that the author of this blog is white?
That’s what happens when people talk crap before they know the facts.
Chill man, it is all just for fun.
I wonder, do you know the writer of this blog is white?
Yes the guy who does this blog is white. I read an article and saw his photo on cnn. Now we know. I think its just for fun.
Over the past year people have discovered that how much money is in their pockets is much more important than being afraid of Muslims. And so if that means electing a black president, or even a purple polka dotted president, then not only have we conquered racism in the name of freedom, but we’ve elected someone who isn’t Bush.
white people = cool
Who said I was only talking to white people?
This is a very funny blog, however, I daresay that the comments would have been entirely different had a black person created this list.
A lot of you guys that are over here chuckling and knee-slapping at this stuff would’ve been foaming at the mouth and ready for bloody war.
Davetta
If you are pointing out the basic humor truth that it is funny if you poke fun at the group you are IN and is not funny if you poke fun at a group you are NOT in, then you are right. But that’s not news.
I do think that depends on the person. At least I hope it would. Then again you never know.
Portuegese is a white language, sillies. Just shows how far white people are willing to go to be exotic – Southern Europe.
yea but its mostly spoken nowadays by Brazilians which hardly count as white
I guess a 50% white population and home to supermodel Gisele Bundchen, a “model of white perfection” hardly counts. Drew my friend you are an idiot!
I don’t think most people would consider brazilians white even those that appear to be because as they say in brazil most brazilians have a foot in the kitchen ie. have one black slave ancestor in their family.
Soviet Razor:
You’re correct that the white man, Canadian James Naismith, could be considered the inventor of Modern Basketball. However, a strikingly similar game in which players tried to put a rubber ball through a stone hoop at the end of the court (sound familiar?) was played by the Aztecs. Yes, ancient Native Americans. Their version of the game was much more brutal and didn’t have the strict rules governing contact with other players of Modern Basketball. It was a brutal, high contact sort of kill-the-carrier type of game, yet still essentially basketball. It was called ollamalitzli.
Look it and all the other ball-centered games that Natives of the Americas invented up. Thanks!
Whites are incapable of inventing sports.
We are incapable of inventing anything. But that doesn’t matter because we are damn good colonizers.
Why waste our time inventing things, when we can just wait for others to invent it, then conquer their people?
Oh here’s more stuff white people like, “Admitting that other cultures invented stuff waaaay before they did.” LOL
LOL!
Boy, was the #50 on the list right. Us white people sure love irony. Like say, when a black person writes a list about white people and “their” culture with one of the points being that white people like being an expert on YOUR culture. Isn’t it ironic? Yes I really do think….
um, but he’s not black.. he’s white.
ALL sports that use a ball (or a ball-like object, such as a puck) were “invented” by NATIVE AMERICANS!!
lacrosse: not from the french. they like to claim it, but really they picked it up in the great lakes region from the native americans there.
hockey: actually, a TRADITIONAL sport amongst southwestern native women. (obviously not ice hockey, but still a sport that looks an awful lot like hockey).
soccer/football: the kicking of the ball? age-old sport across the americas.
etc, etc.!! these sports eventually spread across to european settlers and then back to europe and then around the world.
and, while we’re on the topic, you know what else came from NATIVE AMERICA?
-potatoes (never used in ireland until the euros came to the americas!!)
-tomatoes (never used in italian pasta until the euros came to the americas!! hmm, much like pasta before marco polo went to china…)
-corn
-the list goes on and on, people! please learn your history from sources beyond your lame high school history teachers and history 101 from college.
try reading “Native Roots!”
thanks
Yes, and Native Americans claim to be great horsemen; but that was only after Columbus re-introduced the horse to North America to replace all the ones the Native Americans had eaten.
Are you serious? Natives never ate horses. Horses didn’t even exist in America until the Spanish colonizers brought them over. And the natives used them for transport, not food.
Interesting, never heard all that. Don’t have a reason to not believe it’s true, but is everything “invented” by indigenous people or the Chinese? I’m always hearing about stuff other cultures contributed to the world, but we never really hear what Norse, Germanic, Anglo-Saxon, Celtic, Roman, etc cultures have contributed. Surely they didn’t wander the earth naked learning crafts from other people. I just want to know. So I can be one of those “smart white people.”
The Greeks created western philosophy. And the germans created Nazism.
I love the end of this comment too!! Hehehe
Be a smart white person and tell people what you learned but be a WISE white person and ASK them if what you heard makes sense – once your finished speaking. <- I say that cause you wouldnt be “white” if you actually asked in advance and THEN spoke…. After all – we all must live up to our stereotypes…
Nah – ah – Mean Son!
Word!
Basketball, invented by a white Canadian teacher.
Soooo yeah.
….to go just a bit further, Lacrosse is/was an Iroquoian sport, which was observed by French Jesuit Missionaries in the 1600s.
The game was also played in winter, however the nets were removed from the Lacrosse sticks and the “business end” was placed downward on the ice (ever try running and catching a ball on snow covered ice?).
A physically demanding and high contact effort, when the Jesuits first witnessed the game, they noted that the players would often shout, “A:ki” (pronounced Ah-Geee…thats a hard “G” sound) which was the Mohawk form of the explative,”Ouch” when colliding with each other.
Later, when relaying the experience, these French missionaries would refer to the game as, “Haa-Gee”, (the French have a tendancy to insert a soft “h” sound at the head of words begining with vowels) which would become, “Hockey” in its Anglicized form.
There you go, Lacrosse is the father of hockey…and theres news you can use.
Today, Mohawk people still use the exclamation, “A:ki” and the French are still adding that “h” sound to the front of English words that start with a vowel.
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