#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
January 23, 2008 by clander
White people are pretty conflicted about their culture. On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture. But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture: the KKK, colonialism, slavery, Jim Crow laws, feudalism, and the treatment of native americans.
One way they can make up for it is becoming marginally acquainted with foreign cultures. It is generally acceptable for a white person to learn a few terms in a language spoken primary by non-whites (such as Chinese, Tagalog or Portuguese). They can then use these phrases to order certain ‘more authentic’ dishes in restaurants.
White people can also take passing interest in film, politics, music or art from these countries. When they actually meet someone from that country, or at least who has parents from that country they cannot wait to engage you in all the details that they have learned.
“Have you heard the new Andy Lau CD? It’s awesome!”
It is imperative that you recognize how special and unique this white person is for knowing about your culture. Acceptable responses include “Wow, I’ve never seen a white person order chicken feet,” or “How did you find about that film? I didn’t think they had dubbed it yet.”
These responses will fill white people with that self satisfaction they need. Also, they consider a reminder that they are not racist, which also makes them feel terrific.
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The reason for this is pretty obvious. Colonialism and paternalism passed down from generation to generation. Many of European descent do have the tendency to see others as something to be studied.
Wow, that sounds like a really scientific theory.
holy fuckin shit, this is ridiculously fuckin true. and so is that white people likin non-black black music . holy fuckface this is incredible i’m crying tears of joy ALL MY LIFE WHITE PEOPLE BEEN DOIN DIS SHIT AND NOW I KNO WHY. OMG I LOVE YOU PEOPLE. THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG. OMG. :’) (tear of joy) <33 hollabillz
This is a very funny, and amusing blog!
Thank you all for participating.
[...] Stuff white people like (cultures) Yelp discussion About [...]
My culture is “American Culture” i.e. Individualism cum Social Darwinism, which I generally regret. I look at my fellow Americans, and I hate them, until I learn otherwise (some mitigating personal trait).
Soon English will be a primarily non white language as well if it isn’t already.
Why use Portuguese as an example of a non white language. and put down spanish speakers as second class? French is spoken primarily by non whites as is Spanish and Portuguese but all three are WHITE languages. You’re an asshole C Lander.
Getting offended is something white people like. If you aren’t white, this comment would be great to share with white people in your office, school or at a party.
Brilliant remark!
I realized how white I had gotten when a friend pointed out to me that I got offended over stupid, funny nonsense. I am Mexican…I wonder how that applies to me? LOL
Congratulations, you get white points!
Best comment award goes to Brendan
So I guess Tom Hanks, Meredith Vieira, Steve Perry, Joe Perry,
aren’t part of American white culture? They’re all of Portuguese background.
um he didn’t say “all portuguese speaking people are non-whites” did he?
he said portuguese is a language spoken primarily by non-whites, which is true because half of the people in south america and millions of people in africa speak portuguese.
Also, white people like saying stuff like, “…makes me ashamed to be white.” And “there is no such thing as race,” which is a statement made almost exclusively by white people. For example, Obama’s “there’s no BLACK America…there’s no WHITE America…there is only the United States OF America”–that was intended solely to appeal to white people. Most black people know it’s bullshit.
Yeah, most people with any sense (anyone who’s not white) know that seeing eye to eye with anyone of a different shade of skin is a vain, impossible goal that ought to be abandoned. Silly Obama, paying lip service to foolish whites people instead of stating this simple truth. Long live uncrossable cultural barriers! May there always be a perfectly defined line between races, as there always has been!
Don’t you think that some people say it because they are idealists who desire for there to be no divisions and no discrimination?
My grandfather used to say such things when he was alive, granted he was Onondaga, if only to shut people up who said ‘he’s a credit to his race’, etc.
Chinese isn’t a spoken language…it’s a writing system and a family of different languages.
Saying you speak Chinese is like saying you speak “European”
ie. Andy Lau doesn’t speak Chinese, he speaks Cantonese.
I think you just proved the point of this blog post.
or Mandarin.
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