There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone’s Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can’t find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
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stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
stuff stupid people like – completing missing the point
you’re not racist. just an idiot
Baby Duck may be added to the list on unmentionables (unless consumed in an ironic fashion).
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine
…and occasionally merlot.
is rose passe? what about this article from nytimes: http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/06/19/many-like-it-pink/
Chateauneuf-du Pape rosé : definitely a GREAT wine ! (believe me : I have a villa here ! )
Rose is fab, blush wine is cheesy. Hey, cultural elitism is built on subtle distinctions like this!
Rose is totally still happening. The blogger needs to better know a white person.
All the potheads from back in the day moved onto wine and exotic coffee with age.
its so true.
Rose is actually quite hip over here, in Europe, as a refreshing alternative to red wine for hot summer days. I’m not sure how long the trend will continue, but it has been like this for a couple of years.
Yeah, I think it’s still hip over here because cheap reds tend to be vinegary and basically undrinkable, while cheap whites tend to be watery and flavorless. Rose is… well it’s rose, whether it’s cheap or expensive. It’s basically like taking a cheap red and a cheap white and mixing them together to make something with flavor that doesn’t give you immediate heartburn. Of course, what you really should do, is buy a cheap red and make sangria. But that’s just my opinion.
i know it is very white of me to point this out, but there actually is a winery called spottswoode.
Yes; it is in St. Helena and run by the Novak family
LOL, Taking credit. That’s so white of you. I’d like to now take credit for suggesting taking credit as a topic.
And I’d like to suggest you experience the wine region of Wilmington, Delaware. When crack is not in season, hotel accommodations are an absolute steal!
I’d like to take credit for suggesting this topic.
I like Arbor Mist.
Perhaps this is more data for your research.
Actually yesterday at work my boss reminded me that there was some wine in the large open area. When we walked over he said to me “Hey, there might only be White left!” I thought to myself “There’s alcohol in White wine too?” When I went to grab the first open bottle I saw he said “That’s shit. Open this one.”
*sheepish* I love Arbor Mist. I think all wine could be improved by the judicious application of corn syrup.
This probably comes from being raised on Manischewitz. I swear, kosher wine completely screws up your wine palate for life…
Black people like to drink Cristal, not because they like the taste but because they want people to see them drinking something expensive.
Latinos like to order Scotch whiskey because they think white people will respect them for drinking something Northern European.
I pooped my pants
Now don’t forget to wipe.
As for the topic on hand:
I hate wine. I like vodka. Chalk it up to being a Russian, but vodka-drunk is the best drunk. The hangovers nice and slow. Lasts all week…
Especially my dedi’s recipe. Moonshine for sure… kicked like a mule, and tasted like rubbing alcohol.
you have pooped your pants on different blogs, what the heck is wrong with you
Rosé ftw.
BOX ‘O WHINE
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with box wine, unless of course you are only drinking to impress. I was raised in the Napa Valley and was exposed to many fine wines; red and white, and still enjoy a glass of Franzia or Peter Vella.
you would
You must have a financial interest in those vinyards!
Is there anyplace left to escape from advertising?
http://www.tucc.org
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