There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone’s Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can’t find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
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Don’t forget to add Merlot to your “Do Not Drink In Front of WP” list. Thanks to the movie Sideways, a fave of WP.
That movie is so awesome.
And I’m not just saying that because I’m 7/8 (or a little less) white. LOL!
Hey, don’t knock the Boone’s Farm until you try it! It’s cheap and tasty. And, apparently, you can get an entire case of it for like 3 dollars in Guam! Beat that!
Hey, don’t knock the Boone’s Farm until you try it! It’s cheap and tasty. And, apparently, you can get an entire case of it for like 3 dollars in Guam! Beat that!
[...] http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/25/24-wine/ [...]
Because you seen another person drink, thought he/she is cool or in the “in” crowd, and your parents or society you came from may tolerate, allow, shun or prohibit alcoholic drinks. Sure, when you’re over 21 the drinking age in the US nobody would bother you drinking, then again, lots of people in the US seems uptight with an occassional drink. +
This site is great, but it should really be titled “Stuff pretentious hipster/yuppie douchebags like”
I’m white and I despise the types of people that most of these posts are making fun of
Good job, though. But seriously think about my title suggestion.
One thing white people like is to make distinctions among kinds of white people so that they can “despise” some kinds of white npeople and feel different from and superior to them. Some non-white people also do this, but the point is that white people definitely like it.
ewww wine is shit, it also pisses me off when people drink wine! MMM ITS SOO PROGRESSIVE! stfu beer tastes better, the commercials are better, cheeper, and we dont have to copy the french fag pussies
Good wine is on the taste buds of the imbiber, whatever their colour. Taste is universal.
Hate to break it to you, but rose is now acceptable by white people standards. Keep in mind, of course, that any red grape bearing white in front of it (i.e. white merlot, white zin, etc.) is still frowned upon.
Yes, it’s true, but it must be a DRY rose.
what makes white zin and white merlot unacceptable? it’s wine.. shut up, its good
i don’t feel like this is a question that needs an explanation. if you don’t know why white zin and white merlot are laughed at by the knowledgeable wine drinking population, then you aren’t part of it. enjoy your beringer.
Because white zin & white merlot aren’t wines, they are beverages made by mixing sugar water with factory second wine.
lmao, me and my friend always get drunk off cheap wine
Most white Americans stick to diet soft drinks and beer.
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