There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone’s Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can’t find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
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Here’s a funny little secret in our white communities and suburbs….come closer….MOST OF US ARE ALCOHOLICS!!!! NO! Not lilke blacks who stand on the corner…BUT like a soccer mom who just threw back 6 shots of JACK DANIELS before she takes her kids to the game…WE ARE ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR 80% OF ALL D.U.I.’S!!!!!!!!!
i like wine especially red wine
can you say
alcoholics?
Religion, culture and tradition of a given person determines in some cases, their drinking habits or behaviors, and their vows not to drink or drink on certain occassions or times.
Stereotype A: Baptists, Mormons, Methodists, Pentecostals, Jehovah Witnesses, 7th-day Adventists and Muslims DO NOT TYPICALLY DRINK, according to what their religion said.
Stereotype B: Catholics, Jews, Lutherans, Anglicans, Eastern Rite and Presbyterians CAN DRINK, according to what their religion said.
Stereotype C: Agnostics, Atheists, Deitists, Secularists, Satanists, Paganists and non-Monotheists LACK A RULE ON DRINKING.
In other words, it’s how you were raised, and the moral/ ethical code on how to handle an alcoholic drink, as well to abstain or avoid it out of concerns of health and holiness.+
My apologies in case anyone is offended, and I forgot to add Shintoists are known to use alcoholic beverages in religious ceremonies (sakie, the rice wine). The info. about the Baptists from Mom’s side and Catholics from Dad’s side, because my Mom never touched a beer until in her 30′s and my Dad was 5 when he was first given wine in communion! +
The latest thing with white people is bringing their own wine to restaurants and having the staff uncork and decant for a modest fee. It’s usually a bit cheaper, you can bring as much as you want. This also allows white people to bring wines from tiny, unheard-of boutique wineries and discuss them with the steward while the other patrons look on in envy, forced to choose an overpriced wine off the menu.
With the list of crap wines, the author should have put the famous Charles Shaw. Try bring that bottle to some snooty dinner party.
impress your White friends by telling them about the KVINT line of wines from the rogue republic of Pridnestrovie (aka Transnistia aka PMR)
Wine in the box is a great last minute birthday gift for a Woman… but for a Guy its beer and trip to the titty bar.
Hold on now thats not always true. I know a lot of white people who do the wine in a box lmao! I only know white people to do that!
That’s funny I’ve only seen Hawaiian women drinking box wine at the park.
Have you heard? What’s the word?
Thunderbird!
South African wines are also very good… and probably not that known in America…Get a John Platter wine guide… then you don’t have to make names up…
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