There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone’s Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can’t find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
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do asians like studying or drinking wine more?
oui oui, or is that we, we,
drinking wine everyday is an acceptable form of alcoholism to dopey white people–just a functional alcoholic.
Wine, it’s not just for Frenchies anymore.
Ever since the first award-winning Californian wine won first prize in the 1970′s, the whole wine industry changed. Napa valley is a white person’s paradies, since traveling to France is a 8 hour flight from San Francisco. Oh yeah, the French-Italian vineyards are hand picked by mostly Mexican farm laborers (don’t tell them that). +
Why do white folk wine all day and night; they love watching the john stewart leibowitz show where they can have funny satire about the govt. lackies that do-nothing, haha, hah, time to have some more wine or is that whine? why isn’t the John Leibowitz show, is he embarassed about being Jewish?
I would have to disagree with boxed wine being unacceptable – white peoplelike sustainability and some boxed wines are being advertised as being better for the environment because you can recycle the box, and it contains four bottles of wine. Franzia is still unacceptable, but Bota Box, now available in many stores, seems like an acceptable brand for white people.
drinking sour grapes (wine) everyday is an alternative form of alcoholism–except it is socially acceptable to most elitist whites especially those with useless college and grad “school” degrees.
It is a form of alcoholisim when drunk everyday. Regardless of white dopes that say good in “moderation”, good for you—whatever; drinking everyday is a functional alcoholic– no different than drinking vodka, bourbon, whiskey everyday and talking about OCDing about it, and subscribing to literature (mags/newsletters) about the product.
YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC. except many surround themselves with white dopes and other sheeple that agree with wino mentalities and cannot think for themselves without living off off das trustfund/or twattering someone. Elitist–golf, “organic,” horses, and winos. Sit on a park bench with a good bottle of alcohol and strike up a conversation with the wino.
I’m in a high-risk for developing alcoholism, therefore I’m not a wine drinker and rarely have a beer. The beverage of choice for always busy white people is coffee, energy drinks or good ol’ American soda pop…the no. 1 cause of obesity in this country. All that sugar, calories and carbs sure can make you fast, empty stuff like beer gives you a pot belly. Oh snap! We have diet sodas, white people drink more of that. I seen businessmen in suits have diet coke (not much diet pepsi, tastes better) with chicken salads in luncheons.+
What did you take a poll to see how many white people drink what…..damm your life is boring. I really think you need counceling. Maybe your cure could be some Mountain Dew. Heard it also lowers your sperm count….because of course we wouldnt want people like you to breed.
[...] A humorous take on white people’s love for wine brought to you by stuff white people like: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/25/24-wine/ [...]
I saw a group of older white folk enjoying a wine picnic on top of some boulders in the mountains and just below them were another group of young white folk smoking pot….this was in Boulder, CO.
Saw a black folk taking a shit on the side of the road the other day in pure daylight. had no toilet paper so used his shirt. Saw some other black folk smoking crack down the street…..this was in North Las Vegas.
YOu are wrong about Rose, at least dry Rose… it shows you are that much more sophisticated that you appreciate it, and not scared to admit it. This is the ultimate trump in whiteness over your peers! I’m not talking about Lancers or Mateus by the way… has to be French (from Provence is best) or perhaps Spanish.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money pretending to know wine.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Sure…Ill make sure I wipe my ass with it first.
box wine is the most efficient, less expensive way to enjoy the alternate spectrum of alcoholism (not entirely), especially as a very white, female college student. slap the bag anyone?
ahh box wine is the best! i saw a guy dress up as a giant box of wine for halloween and the spout was right in the crotch and actually poured red wine.
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