There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone’s Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can’t find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
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You have failed to note mentioning that wine is better in a certain country.
Being challenged on like a particular wine, Bordeaux for example, can be instantly defeated by saying that France keep the best batches for themselves. This makes you look doubly impressive as it shows you are both travelled and knowledgeable on wine.
i ‘m both travelled and knowledgeable on wine…..
…….
damn, i’m french !!!
( i sell excellent wine from the languedoc , around the ” pic st loup” starting at 5€/bottles )
Ha ha. A group of friends and I had to take boxed wine into an all day outdoor concert recently because glass bottles weren’t allowed. We took photos of ourselves to prove that we were ironically drinking our boxed White Zinfandel and didn’t actually think that it was an acceptable wine to drink.
In the UK unacceptable wine brands are Jacobs Creek, Blossom Hill, Blue Nun and Lambrini.
Clander, this entry could be a lot funnier if you knew anything about wine.
Rose wine is acceptable in Europe but only during the summers though. Men are also allowed to drink it but generally only at home. If you are sitting outside you have a white beer. In my country, The Netherlands, anyway
Rose wine isn’t viewed this way in Canada either, I’m pretty sure. The BC wineries make some rose wine and my parents always end up getting talked into some of it when they get their other wines.
As a winemaker I can tell you this is only the tip of the iceburg. People have always used wine knowladge a social wepon to make them self feel more superior. Its always amusing when they try it on me, and then to see the look on their face when they find out what I do for a living.
Too true. I think wine snobbery predates the ‘white people’ this blog is referring to by quite a bit.
HAHA I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and think it’s DEF just a funny!!
Is there a stuffjewishpeoplelike.com ??
uh huh…/Chunky Redd/enigma/Michael D Senior!! Please treat me like the bitch dog that I am. Poke me Poke me Poke me.
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me… Blak pwr
drinking wine regularly==functional alcoholic. socially ‘acceptable’ alcoholism. sad but true whites.
I might add that screw-top bottles are also not acceptable for white people.
Which is sad because screw tops are much better really. The nostalgia about corks has got to go.
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