#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
January 26, 2008 by clander
Often times if you ask a white person about where to travel, you will get a lot of responses. But if you ask them about New York, white people will go nuts. They love the city universally and all either live there, have lived there, will live there or want to live there.
White people like New York because it has artists, restaurants, a subway, history, diversity, plays, and other white people. It literally has everything white people need to thrive! The only thing it’s missing is nature, but Central Park is right there, and since you are walking all the time, you are outside!
If you are from New York, tell this to a white person. They will instantly be interested in you “what part of New York? and you are really from there?” When they inevitably tell you about your home town (“I know this great italian place…”) you should respond by saying “man, I thought place was only known to New Yorkers.”
Another secret fact about white people, if you are in group setting and the topic of New York City comes up, find the highest ranking white person and say “oh, are you from New York?”
To them, this means you are calling them cultured, cool, and urban. They will respond with something like “oh, well, I’ve spent a lot of time there,” or “I lived there for three years.” You will have instantly become more popular than all other people in the group.
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Manhattan is where the action is in NY City, the high-rise buildings, heavy road traffic and the hustle-and-bustle is what makes a city “tick”. But for me and many other white people: cities are crowded, polluted, expensive, stressful & anonymous. This is why most people in general live in small towns, medium-sized cities and the suburbs (Brooklyn with Queens are one of the first modern suburbs) you rich white people call “blend-boring-macabre-ordinary-soulless”. The south Bronx and Staten Island are being checked as the “other Manhattans” because Manhattan is being used up, and the moneyed whites want to experience a “different culture” usually move into…Harlem. +
[...] I am tired of SWPLs. I wish they’d let me join the Black Panthers. I’d do a drive-by from San Francisco to Williamsburg. [...]
Reading this just makes me think about the dancer girls I have on my facebook who make the occasional long trip to ny for dance and make sure they let everyone know they’re there by dropping down key NY words:
ex. Yea I was outside for like 3 hours in Central Park but I didn’t tan for some reason.
ex. I went to SoHo but I didnt buy anything.
Apparently being an oblivious tourist is all the rage. I believe the fact that they told me they went to Brooklyn but had no idea what part when I asked them accurately displays what kind of people they are. I appologize for my rant haha, my current young generation just pisses me off
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on trips to New York.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
I’ve never been to manhattan but my family owns a deed passed down from many generations from a certain duchess which gives our family the inherited ownership of the island. We are building our case and will take it to trial eventually, so enjoy it while you can, fucking trespassers!
Tough luck! It’s called adverse possession. White people love the law.
Funny thing- visited NYC in April of this month. Got incredibly sick, so got some tea from Starbucks while waiting for my mother and sister to arrive from Ohio, where they were driving from. Some middle-aged white woman asked to share the table with me while she waited for her hip friend who reviewed restaurants with a camera. I told her who I was waiting for, and smiled while she replied “Oh, that’s going to be a lot of fun- *snirk* don’t let them hurt their necks looking up at the big buildings.”
From that moment on, possibly as a side-effect of my swine-flu like symptoms, NYC took on an incredibly offense tone with me. I used to love it- MOMA, Soho, MTA, all that shit. Instead, I saw it for what it was – a swarm of tourists all flocking around trying to “experience” NYC while the residents bustled hurriedly around and through them, looking painfully important and busy. I realized how much it would suck to live there- having to constantly put up with tourists, and winter, and the reverse -how much you miss trying to be a tourist.
I will never again be heaping accolades upon NYC. It is over-crowded, expensive, over-hyped, and a waste of time in comparison to “second-class” cities such as Cleveland, Toronto, Tucson, Berkeley- all places I have had the great opportunity to live. Besides, the girls in Tucson and Berkeley are copious, quirky, and beautiful (and asian in the latter destination.)
Are these other four cities trendy for white people to live in or they were 5 or 10 years ago? Cleveland is right inside the rust belt (nearing 20% unemployment in some areas), Tucson has been beat by the real estate bubble burst, Toronto is viewed by Canadians as the failed welfare state and Berkeley is filled with druggies since it’s near Oakland. The swine flu came from “Mexicans” the same way AIDS is from Africans or Haitians, SARS is from Chinese or Asians, and the next superfatal exotic tropical virus to hit white people without immunity. The Muslim terrorist groups are in Iran concocting the next smallpox pandemic, worst kind than the one wiped out 98% of American Indians in the 1500′s brought over by accident by (guilt) white men. +
WOW white person! Kudos on taking the, not so evident, opportunity to grossly impose your obviously expensive “political science” degree on the rest of the internet. This shows the innate ability of white people to sniff out the most basic of statements and over think them. I must say I am especially impressed on how you were able to include 7 countries and at least 2 religions in your barrage of run on sentences. Michael I think I speak for all white people when I say, “thanks man, you make us proud.”
Several years into residence on the UWS, I was still answering, “Pittsburgh” when asked where I was from, traveling around that area West of the Hudson.
Sure it’s annoying when you know nothing about team sports- that you’re in the playoffs, that your congressman is America’s biggest Nazi; but you get bigger, fattier portions at redneck lunch counters, folks assume you’re a fellow crank abusing wet-brain bigot with COPD and spirochetes cork screwing through your pre-mandibular forebrain bundle…
Even WITH Cash Cab, 9/11 and The Sopranos (most REAL ‘Merikans don’t know NJ ain’t on Manhattan Island), once you actually fess up, or slip-up about alternate side parking or a Zabar receipt falls from your BDUs, suddenly the peckerwood lady who looks just like Herman Goering stops scooping the huge gobs of etouffe over your dirty rice… “Cletus, this heah Yan-KEE dun kilt r’baby JEE-SUSSSSSSSSsssssssssss!
Pittsburgh is Detroit 2.0 with a whiter, brighter German face. I always assumed Pittsburgh is Philly 2.0 with a fatter, poorer image (and prouder of it). How about the Steelers? Super bowl XLIV is coming, and the Eagles may show up. The Pirates will kick Phillies’ butt in the NLCS. And when the Penguins and Flyers meet in the stanley cup depends on the conference format. One problem is the 76ers NBA title can’t involve a Pittsburgh team (is there a ABA team?) +
No, we have Pitt Basketball. That’s our team (and by “our” I mean a Pittsburgh native living in NYC, yet still calling the Burgh home).
i want pizza….
I would rather drink my own urine than go anywhere near NYC. That place is absolutely terrible in every way possible.
Keep living in your hole
i agree i hate NYC.
Everyone seems to hate Manhattan, but love Brooklyn and gotta have that borough pride. Whether it’s the 212, 718 or 917 (area code shout outs), be proud of where you’re from. Brooklynese, the “Kings” of Queens, and on the “six” to the Bronx are notably proud of where they come from, born or raised, and most of all where they (or used to) live. +
I asked the highest ranking white person in the room, they said “No, I’m not. I’ve never actually been there.” Then they began to stammer.
People got annoyed with me for embarrassing the Alpha White Person. Any advice?
Congratulations, you the man now dog. i.e. you have assumed the alpha role.
What religion are you? Oh, didnt see that. Forget it.
… and who knows, I may be part-Jewish too. (the next white person claim to be descendant of disposed royality of another race trend). Janice Dickinson switched 20 ethnic groups already, she tries to be like Cher or Madonna with this “I’m part Japanese/Cherokee/Spanish/Armenian” thing. I believe all three of them are part-, ex-, or turned Jewish. +
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I’m one of those white people that ‘has spent a lot of time in New York’, mostly Manhattan, and I’m amazed at how few black people I see on the streets. Yes, I know there are tons of black people in Harlem, Queens, Brooklyn, and the Bronx but I’m talking about Manhattan. So many white people. The first time I visited was in 88. I’m one of those white people with money. I’m able to hang out with my other white friends with money and stay for several weeks at a time. The city back then was harsh. I loved it. It now has this Crate and Barrell feel to it. Being a hip white person with money, I hate that shit.
Harlem is in Manhattan. . . You might want to try a neighborhood other than the Upper East Side next time you go.
Dumbass, Harlem IS Manhattan–I hate ignorant statements like that. if Harlem isn’t Manhattan then guess what, Colubmia University isn’t in NYC…dumbass. And I’m black (if you haven’t guessed) and I live in the LES (if you don’t know what that stands for I wouldn’t be surprised) and there’s tons of blacks and whites but mostly Asians. Woah, your ignorance astounds me.
LES stands for “Lower east Side” not the UES story location (the Upper west side the Sharks and Jets like a sports team rivalry). The whites replaced the Chinese whom replaced the Puerto Ricans whom replaced the Black Americans whom replaced the Jews whom replaced the Italians whom replaced the Irish whom replaced the English whom replaced the Dutch whom replaced the Lenape Indians. There you go, the history of the LES in a couple of seconds. +
I think we can safely assume by this comment that a sense of humor is not something that black people like. Lighten up with the whining.
HAHA, I’m an alphabet city girl m’self. There used to be so many more Black and Latino people here, but now because of Gentrification (tingles huh guys) not so much anymore. NYU has taken over. But it’s ok, because I spend my time trying to make them feel uncomfortable. Hopefully, they’ll get terrified and move out. That’d be a good day, and I’d be able to afford to continue to live forever in a neighborhood people of color were forced into anyway.
I predict in 2500 AD that a great NA NDN (Native American/ Indian) city shall arise from the ruins of an ancient early American civilization. I’m not a member of the AIM (the Red man’s movement), Causa La Raza, the Black Nation of Islam or the LDS (Mormon) church…I have a lil’ bit of E.S.P.
Back on topic, It would suck for anyone having to move not only your neighborhood is falling apart or everyone around you left to avoid the hard-core druggies, welfare cheats, gang bangers, convict felon parolees and beggars came by to live near you, it’s the other way around: they got money and as a result, your home prices shoot up the roof. It’s much worse to rent an apartment in gentrificating areas and a large percentage of “inner city” reisdents fall in this category, therefore are deeply affected to be displaced. +
Instead of taking a cab between your hotell at Times Square and the Meatpacking district, and instead of then walking down through the west village to Soho, try to visit other parts of town and you shall se that it is just as diverse as in your dreams.
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