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#27 Marathons

In life, there are certain milestones of physical activity that can define you.  A sub 5 second 40 yard dash, a 40 inch vertical leap and so forth.  To a white person, the absolute pinnacle of fitness is to run a marathon.  Not to win, just to run.

White people will train for months, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up early in the morning, they run when it rains, how it makes them feels so great and gives them energy.

When they finish the marathon, they will generally take a photo of themselves in a pair of New Balance sneakers, running shorts, and their marathon number with both hands over their head in triumph (seriously, look it up, this is universal).

They will then set goals like running in the Boston Marathon or the New York Marathon.

If you find yourself in a situation where a white person is talking about a marathon, you must be impressed or you will lose favor with them immediately.  Running for a certain length of time on a specific day is a very important thing to a white person and should not be demeaned.

Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles.  If the subject ever comes up, just say that triathletes are in better shape than football and basketball players.  It’s not true, but it will make the conversation a lot more genial.

389 Responses to “#27 Marathons”

Pages: [27] 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 171 » Show All

[...] the website “Stuff White People Like,” marathons are listed as #27.  It describes running a marathon in the following way: To a white [...]


 

[...] Community, and Sisterhood (Part 1) March 16, 2012 By David J. Leonard On the website “Stuff White People Like,” is marathons are listed as #27.  It describes running a marathon in the following way: To a [...]


 

[...] friends for about 10 seconds before I remembered I don’t like to run, think this blog “Stuff White People Like #27 Marathons” is super funny and dated 3 of the people going. [...]


 

I am going to take a guess that you never have run in a race :0)

They ROCK and this comes from someone who is turtle slow! The support you get from the fast runners is amazing! The encouragement……wow. The motivation to do it again and be a little fast……yep! That’s why I do it!


 

[...] And that got me to thinking, why do people, who clearly know they have no chance in winning any prize money, pay to run 26.2 miles?  I’m not sure I will know the answer to that because everyone is different, but it makes the list of Stuff White People Like to Do at #27: “White people will train for months, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up ea… [...]


 

What is wrong with some people? This is humor, not a serious jab at what some people do.

Some are as described but the author jokes about a certain mindset.

Not about marathoners in general…


 

Pages: [27] 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 171 » Show All

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