#28 Not Having a TV
January 26, 2008 by clander
The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV.
On those lonely nights when white people wish they could be watching American Idol, Lost, or Grey’s Anatomy, they comfort themselves by thinking of how when people talk about the show tomorrow they can say “I didn’t see it, I don’t have a TV. That stuff rots your brain.”
It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.
Though these people often fill their time by talking with other friends who don’t watch TV about how they don’t watch TV, looking at leaves, cooking, reading books about left wing politics, and going to concerts/protests/poetry slams.
Generally this makes them very boring and gives you very little to talk to them about. It’s important that you NEVER suggest they are making a mistake or that there is a value to owning a TV. You should just try to steer the conversation to allow them to talk about how they are better than you.
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This is pretty funny but it’s completely bullshit to assume that the magic power of the idiot box is SOOOO enticing that NO ONE could possibly dislike it. While there are good shows (Sopranos is pretty okay, Office is usually funny) the whole idea of watching anything as long as it’s on TV is obnoxious. The whole problem with being contrarian (like this blog or like Chuck Klosterman, who’s basically a hilarious douchebag) is that too often you just end up being predictable and stupid besides. Yeah, hipsters are scum etc. but there are non-hipster people who simply and truly don’t like being houseplants. Get over it.
I am white-looking and don’t have a TV, only because i think the money can be spent well somewhere else (like weed or interesting hats). I have a fast internet service so I can just about catch any shows I want online. I miss ESPN though.
OMG this one is SO true! i cant tell u how many times ive mentioned a major tv event to get a response like “i dont have tv” or worse “i dont watch tv” which means they HAVe a tv but they refuse to watch it to show how diciplined they are..ARG! lol
people who take this site seriously and think its racist are stupid, however you do make it even more fun to read.
I’m white and I love TV. This is a shitty stereotype that’s not even true. All the white people I know have at least ONE TV.
It’s a joke. The whole sight is a joke. And it’s very funny I think. It plays on the idea that stereotypes are perposterous. Who can speak fof all “black” people? Who can speak for all “white” people? It treats it like there is a monolithic block who vote, eat, relax, and live in the same manner. I laugh because I am proud to not have a t.v. and I love MOs Def and grammar. I’m really laughing at myself.
Laugh at me too.
[...] (and book) dedicated to cataloging stuff white people like. And sure enough, there I am… number 28, “Not Having a TV”. Ok, so technically I do have a TV… several actually… but I rarely use them to actually [...]
Maybe we don’t like having TVs in our houses so that we aren’t like the hordes of Asians who stare endlessly at screens.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. I WENT TO THIS ASIAN MASSAGE PLACE TO GET A KOREAN HOOKER, AND THE WHOLE TIME I WAS BONING HER SHE WAS WATCHING TV. AND NOT EVEN GOOD TV, SOME TRASHY KOREAN LANGUAGE SOAP OPERA.
But i thought that we ALL love the daily show and the colbert report…isnt that shown on tv? hmmm…
I don’t have a tv and i am white…. wait no! i have a perfectly functioning expensive tv that is not hooked up to cable just becuase i thought it would be a good idea… and now I have told too many people that I “don’t have a tv” to pay the small monthly bill for cable and hook it up.. damn, what a big miscalculation. i wish so much that i could just veg out, but i am stuck pretending to read boring news magazines that my roomate gets. sometimes i go home and read cataloges instead becuase they are more colorful. My only option (also as stated above) was to get netflix. which i did and i LOVE it. the problem is they don’t come fast enough but when they do I watch them right away. I end up spending most nights vegitating in front of the tv anyway. efff. The only down side to netflix is that once i was feeling particularly white and put all of these stupid documentaries about other cultures and intersting stuff on my que. some are in other languages with subtitles!!!.. anyways, now they keep coming and i keep forgeting to take them off. so i am stuck watching some bull in french about yves st. laurent or some jazz about evo morales being a cocalero in spanish. efffffff. i am so white
LOL. You write like a latina, though.
Since Netflix is one of the things that white people like, then this should be renamed from “no TV” to “no cable” that means you either watch a very snowy PAX channel-56 (or CW if you are lucky) or your just watch your Netflix.
You can watch your Netflix DVDs on your Macbook or in the portable DVD player in your Prius. Unless you own the Macbook Air, you are the wrong kind of white person. Unless you stream your Netflix queues to your Macbook Air. Then you are a highly advanced white person.
OMFG that is soooooo me. I haven’t had cable in seven years. But I have a television set and I watch my Netflix on it (I rent a LOT of episodic televison). And I LOVE to tell people that I haven’t had televison in seven years. It’s like a mantra to me. I especially mention it when people ask me if I’ve seen a particular funny commercial. I immediately launch into how I haven’t had televison for seven years and how it really leaves a person feeling lost when it comes to pop culture references. Saying that makes me feel really superior. But then every once in a while people will visit my tiny, well-lit, eclectically-decorated apartment in the ghetto and will notice my television set and say “Hey, I thought you said you didn’t have a T.V.!” and I’ll say “No. What I said was that I didn’t have TELEVISION, which refers to the actual signal that comes through a T.V. set, producng the images one sees.” And then I’ll smirk superiorly.
What I have never admitted to anyone is that I secretly unscrew the cable from my modem and watch Tyra Banks before I go to my job in Midtown Manhattan.
priceless
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