#28 Not Having a TV
January 26, 2008 by clander
The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV.
On those lonely nights when white people wish they could be watching American Idol, Lost, or Grey’s Anatomy, they comfort themselves by thinking of how when people talk about the show tomorrow they can say “I didn’t see it, I don’t have a TV. That stuff rots your brain.”
It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.
Though these people often fill their time by talking with other friends who don’t watch TV about how they don’t watch TV, looking at leaves, cooking, reading books about left wing politics, and going to concerts/protests/poetry slams.
Generally this makes them very boring and gives you very little to talk to them about. It’s important that you NEVER suggest they are making a mistake or that there is a value to owning a TV. You should just try to steer the conversation to allow them to talk about how they are better than you.
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OMG…I love TV. Beverly Hills 90210 reruns are my favorite.
[...] TV-hating friends: The Onion: Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn’t Own A Television and Stuff White People Like #28: Not Having a TV. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Screen TimeTelevisionaryThe last of the [...]
In 1958: not having a TV was still the norm when one TV set in the house cost a whole YEAR’s wages-color TV in 1968 was hard to get; in 1983 anyone not have cable was seen as average-by 1993 only the religious right said they don’t believe in TV or it’s “evil”; and today in 2009: wealthy whites say “we’re fine without/don’t need TV”-by 2019 the way the economy is: a month’s wages won’t cover a cable bill. Satellite dishes, rabbit ears & now the TV sets…are cancelled, due to insufficient funds or outdated tech. +
I’ve just discovered the secret to enjoying these lists:
Don’t read the comments.
I’m only half white, so I own a tv, but I hate commercials, so I don’t actually the tv. But, it does have a #84 sitting on top of it, as well as a microphone as it relates to #58, so I’m good. I’m white people. Peace out, playa!
This one is just stupid every white person i know has a TV in every room of the house, not to mention a 50+ inch HD in the living room with a DVR and a sunday ticket subscription so we can drink and watch football all sunday. Hell even the little kids got TV’s in their room. As for illegal downloading hell yeah and we stream the videos to our huge ass TV’s through our LAN. If you dont do this your probably just retarted and can’t work a computer, why not take advantage.
Delicious irony? Mis-spelling “retarded”.
where’s the irony, kernel boy?
I’m not white. I LOVE TV!!! I love Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, History Channel, Comedy Central, CNN, Food Network, BBC America, and TV5monde.
My favorite tv show is Heroes on NBC. Good stuff.
I love the internet too. I like to sit for hours and hours writing papers and dissertations in front of the tv, then I get up and weight lift and kickbox while watching tv.
Why have TV when you can have YouTube. But, don’t go saying white people love YouTube or I might have to buy a TV. Regardless, Arabs living in Europe are the ones who love YouTube.
… White people without a tv usually steal (they call it downloading) lots of tv to watch on there MacBook. If you ever need an old or pre release movie these white people may be happy to get a copy for you. Unfortunately it will only be viewable on a computer. Keep in mind, these white people are often secretly desperate to watch popular TV shows and events, Inviting them to you’re house can be a good way to build/fake friendship. Bonus points if you let them believe that there is some kind of irony involved.
stealing, as in taking away from someone and keeping for yourself? such as hacking into tv station’s archives, copying the data, deleting the originals and refusing to share their copy? i believe you are talking about ‘the wrong kind of white people’ there..
but indeed, people who are dumb enough to study liberal arts or even not study at all (such as yourself, apparently), do have lots of time to waste so they probably do secretly crave “popular TV shows and events”.
no it’s called “college students”…it’s really not just white people..it’s a college student thing. where my brother lived in college everyone in his dorm building were downloading illegally…and they ranged from many different races and whatnot…they also would gather around each others computers and entertain themselves w/ their fave tv shows.
but about the “i don’t have a tv”…
that is definitely a white thing or those type of “scene” kids. i heard that quite frequently…in school..”i don’t like watching tv…but i only watch nat’l geographic or discovery channel” and then a week later you hear them talking about the real world or some shit. hahaha, and when you call them out on it, it’s even more fun…the stumbling and the defensiveness…haha
* i meant to say “lived on campus” not “lived in college” lol
New trend in college education is online courses, save over $100000 by not having a…”life” or “Campus life”. Times had changed : most 30-year olds live with their parents, not for maturity reasons but financial reasons. Wanna get out of their house to be the “man” or “woman” not remain a “kid”? Sign on to an online university, but hope you pass the exams & “graduate” with a faxed-in bachelor’s degree. +
[...] I don’t seem to watch much T.V. anymore, so it’s a good thing that there’s a new wave of entrepreneurial swagger on the internet, where it’s even harder to grab our attention. [...]
I love TV. I hope I do get brainwashed by all the corporate propaganda that’s shown on TV. TV is my vast wasteland. Long live Big Brother!
Shit No television…. that what havin kids is for .. Live Entertainment! Go on bobby.. Hit yer cousin back. Like watching Gladiator only you rootin for your Kid!
The return of vaudeville! Hey, let’s play president Obama! I’ll have the black face material with the water paint, you be the racist redneck with a bible on one hand, the gun on the other…and you my sweet girl be Sarah Palin, the wicked witch of the right (or South). Hey honey dear! Can you get out your halloween costume? Not the one with a “good witch” more like the Adolf Hitler custome for April fools’ day. +
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