#36 Breakfast Places
January 28, 2008 by clander
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
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I think this whole weird breakfast thing was carried over by the British, what with their strange tomato, blood pudding, sausage meals.
I understand the concept breakfast foods very late at night or as a substitute for other meals, but really, what’s the point of having a weekend if you still get up at seven?
[...] (and Moms, natch). Across the street is Madrona park, thus completing the neighborhood trifecta: breakfast place, coffee place, and somewhere to take the [...]
Oh man, this one just makes me sad. When did white people capitalize breakfast? I’m brown, but more than that I’m an early-twenties heavy drinker. I require greasy hangover delicious breakfast foods and lots of water and coffee on weekends.
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I just pooped my man diaper pants
Thats witty
I used to be a food-runner at one of those places. You should have seen some of the cockknobs asking for “extra avocado” and “egg-white omletes cooked with no oil” How I put up with that job I’ll never know, but my saliva glands sure got a workout garnishing the meals of some the worst offenders.
You spit on someone’s food just because they asked for extra avocado? I hope that you have since left the service industry.
I’m white and I hate breakfast.
Most breakfast meals make me want to puke.
[...] #36 Breakfast Places* [...]
I just ate brunch at a place called Taloola in Arlington, Va. This is without a doubt one of the “breakfast places” white people like.
Every person within a 200 meter radius was white and there was even an all-white bridal shower taking place as well….
[...] #36 Breakfast Places [...]
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