#36 Breakfast Places
January 28, 2008 by clander
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
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I love how when people comment it seems to prove the guy’s point even more.
I have to agree with the earlier commentator that we Brits bear some culpability for the whole cooked breakfast malarkey. On the other hand you guys with your pancakes, waffles, maple syrup, hash browns and OMG – steaks; know a thing or two about dining in the morning. Not to mention your *brunch*. And what the heck is wrong with a Bloody Mary? Incidentally the pub right next to my house received Our Pub of the Year Award. And those guys put a shot of sherry in the BM. Now that is a proper drink. My only rule for this type of carry on is that there must in no circumstances be any children to disturb me as I read the Sunday (London) Times. All those revolting 4×4 Volvo drivers in their wellies with smelly jackets, horrid dogs and savant children should do the decent thing and go down to Barnes leaving the adults in peace. The real purpose of all this breakfast meeting thing is to pass an hour or two until our pubs open when we can start proper Sunday morning activity. In my – very travelled – experience the Germans serve the worst breakfast on the planet. No class at all. Followed by the Swedes.
Pah, true white folk read the Observer!
[...] Our schedules have gotten so wacky that we’ve taken to meeting for pho at 10 a.m. It’s fascinating how distressing some people find this concept. Pho can be a breakfast food, silly people. Keeps reminding me of the amusing entry on Stuff White People Like about “breakfast places.” [...]
821 Cafe is an institution in Richmond. I have never been there when it’s not crammed to the brim with people eating breakfast. Especially hangover breakfast. The biscuits and gravy are probably the greatest thing I have ever put in my face and I wonder how anyone could live without it. It’s strange, I started having serious Sunday breakfasts with friends a few years back and I have to wonder if it was some mid-20′s cracker genetic code activating. Like I reached a certain age and all of my incurable whiteness came out at once. I think this might be the case, as I’m currently a little hung over from a dinner party last night.
[...] Expensive Brunch with jerk friends $25 Ceasars to get over hangover $20 Renting Season 2 of Sex and the City 12.00 (by this point I don’t need someone to rent it for me) Bottle of Wine at off-sales because liquor stores are closed 20.00 Therefore If I was not at track my pocket would have 483.50 less dollars, instead I earned 338.70 [...]
Bluebird in Atlanta…
[...] Café da manhã em restaurante (#36) [...]
Damnit, a typo. That was ‘eating’, people.
Not ‘ewating’.
‘Eating’.
Given that you like to leave out key facts in your quest of propaganda, allow me to offer my interpretation of what you are attempting to slam me for liking:
1. Breakfast is something we need to eat when we wake up, it’s the most important meal of the day.
2. We need a place to eat it, as we cannot exist outside the boundaries of space and time.
3. I do not have one set place for ewating said breakfast, hence any place is a breakfast place to me.
4. You are wrong. Again.
For HaterOfAll…
God, grant me the
SERENITY
to accept the things
I cannot change,
COURGAE
to change the things
I can and the
WISDOM
to know the difference.
oOOPS COURAGE!!!
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Justice, Truth, and Equality?
http://www.survival-international.org
P.S. Very good point, Trina!
For C.Wright.Thru.U.
God, grant me the
SERENITY
to accept the things
I cannot change,
COURGAE
to change the things
I can and the
WISDOM
to know the difference.
oops COURAGE
oops COURAGE!
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