#36 Breakfast Places
January 28, 2008 by clander
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
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Our little place is called tinytique. Fabulous french toast. home tapped maple syrup.
[...] a weblog with, you guessed it, pictures of breakfast. Awesome. See also: Breakfast Places (at Stuff White People [...]
I only go to breakfast places that have the colorful chalkboards with the breakfast specials neatly printed and accented with illustrations of flowers or mountainscapes. Let’s not forget colorful often hand made ceramic dishes and cups, coffee is organic free range and self service, waitresses with 2+ piercings and flashy tatoos. I love to frequent these places on saturday mornings after hot yoga but before going hiking to the farmers market with my trekking poles and black lab.
I love free range coffee
that is so true there is a breakfast place in oldtown thats only open for 5 hours and is always packed
everyone knows all the best breakfast places are 24 hours! and you don’t go at nine in the morning. who’s even up then? you go at three AM.
That’s late teen/early twenties white people.
When you’re older, you go to the designer breakfast ‘diners’ with the colourful chalkboard menus et al. described earlier to relive the greasyspoon 3 am post club breakfasts you used to have …
… sheesh.
That doesn’t sound very white
Damn straight, Ava. You go, girl!
[...] #36 Breakfast Places [...]
I guess I can really relate to this one! Now if I could only afford a Volvo.
By way the way, I have a breakfast site, http://www.picsofbreakfast.com , so if any of you white people would like to submit a picture of your breakfast, please do so. In the mean time I’m going to keep reading about white people.
It is true… I’m white enough to be on Brady Bunch and I love breakfast places.
It’s so nice to sit and have someone cook you breakfast while you discuss something cosmically irrelevant (such as this really cool building that’s no longer getting demolished near where you used to live) with the person across from you.
Bonus points if you look nice while you’re at it (as we all know, white people look a bluish shade of haggard when they wake up), bonus points x10 if you’ve walked or biked to the breakfast place.
– j
hmm… doesn’t help that I come from a long line of Volvo owners.
Greasy meat! Greasy meat! Like a zombie, I make my way to the purveyors of heart attacks on plates!
couldn’t be more true and i have an Audi… white people love audi’s
Fabulous, I love breakfast.
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