#36 Breakfast Places
January 28, 2008 by clander
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
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Omelette Parlor- Costa Mesa, CA. “Fur Sure” haha
Dots Diner in Boulder, CO. is sooo good. but i don’t always feel comfortable being served by obese sweaty waitresses with hairy arm pits and cooks with long dread locks hanging over the food…..this is the one on 28th st. the food is still great though! ..for now.
[...] lives in Florida now but one of our traditions when we lived together was Sunday brunch (See Stuff White People Like #36). I don’t really even like breakfast foods and tend to only eat fruit in the morning anyway, [...]
Okay, this website is hilarious! I’m white. White people who are offended by this stuff are uptight losers.
One thing though…how come when white people make fun of black people (Hispanic, Asian, etc…), we’re automatically racist, but black people (Hispanic, Asian, etc…) can make fun of us free of consequences?
Juusssstttt a thought.
How come you didn’t make a category for “white people enjoy white stereotypes.” White people do like to make fun of other white people and they even enjoy when black comedians talk about white people. I swear it’s true. We cannot get upset about being offended because of what history tells us. Ha!
Or a Lexus or BMW SUV.
I am an Asian American who grew up in Manhattan Beach, an affluent city in southern California largely populated by white yuppies. Despite my upbringing, I have remained resolutely committed rejecting all things yuppie. However, I must admit that I fall victim to this entry. I love breakfast places. But c’mon breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I’m vegetarian and omelettes are great for protein. Oh yeah and most white people in my hometown drive a mercedes to their breakfast place of choice.
Well…my Mom is originally from Redondo Beach in the ’50s. She can’t recognize the towns today like Hermosa beach, Lawndale, Gardena or Torrance. Yeah, the time when her section (Clifton) was largely blue-collar/working-class area and many of her neighbors are Asian or Hispanic, plus her father is a transplanted American Indian from Oklahoma. Her experiences in Sou. Cal. before the rise of yuppiedom meant a year’s income of $4,000 could pay off the rent, but in 2009 the cost of a condo PER month exceeds that. +
I guess you can call me poor white trash who likes dogs to ravage my ass….
This post is totally the Urban Caucasian Mother:
http://youareamerica.wordpress.com/2009/07/12/urban-caucasian-mother/
I heard of the term UCM before when I was on the bus stop heading home when a group of black men (20-30ish) was like “UCM in 3 o’clock, pay no attention”. I’m like “Huh? Tell me again”. They reply the codeword for an upscale white woman with a spell of laughter. She nearly matched the photo in the link. Thanks! +
I heard the term PWT before and I thought of the real Michael D. I also heard the term buttmunch, dumbass, identity thief and loser. Did I get them all, nah, I will continue later.
yoink
[...] only issue is in San Francisco with brunch is that it is considered The Shit and so anywhere you go from Friday to Sunday to brunch your ass off, there are all those who have [...]
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on weekend breakfast outings.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
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