#36 Breakfast Places
January 28, 2008 by clander
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
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[...] #36 Breakfast Places [...]
I’m white and I like that white people like self depracating humor and good ol fashioned reverse racsim. Ha!
Hey, Mikey.
There are no children at brunch in Manhattan.
I have never seen an entire city populated with “breakfast places” until I went to Montreal for the first time. And it was awesome. Petit dejeuner all the way!!!
I notice a lot of white people bring their kids to breakfast places. I think one of the main reasons white people ‘do’ breakfast is to compare their children in terms of intelligence/manners. Today I saw a child order something called a ‘Baby-cino’, however this was more of a coffee style place. This distresses me a great deal.
What are they supposed to do? Leave their kids at home alone? Shit, everyone has to eat breakfast, including kids & parents.
yo nobody gets up for breakfast at 930. but i do love breakfast places…
There is a book entitled “Chineese Resturants Don’t Serve Brekfast”.
I doffel that you should understand the difference between Brunch and a Brekfast place which I would define as a place which open early and close no later than 3:00 P.M.
It generally servers lunch but not supper.
Fuck yeah, i live for brunch!!
Breakfast, and especially pancakes, are a white thing.
The first meal you eat after waking, whether you wake at 7 am or 2 pm is breakfast & we all eat; that is one thing all people have in common. 3 Cheers for Breakfast!!
But you’ve got a number of white people that skip breakfast completely on weekends. They’re just not into the eggs/toast/bacon or sausage/hashbrowns/ concept that’s common at these breakfast places. They get drunk all night then don’t eat anything until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I’ve seen it!
It is acceptable for whites to go to a breakfast spot like Denny’s or IHOP and eat BREAKFAST on the condition that a weekend project like planting a rose bush or working on our deck is in the works. This is so we can get to Home Depot early to avoid the masses:)
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