#37 Renovations
January 29, 2008 by clander
All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Much like how Muslims have to visit Mecca, all white people must eventually renovate a house before they can be complete.
Of course, most white people do not reach this goal until they are 35 or older. But the need to do it is as instinctual as walking.
But it is important to note that white people have little or no interest in renovating a suburban home built after 1960 (except in Southern California). All white people dream about buying an older property (“with character”) in a city, and then renovating it so the insides look all modern with a stainless steel fridge.
Though the seed is planted from birth, it really starts to grow when renovations take place in a family home during childhood. They don’t understand why there are so many men with mustaches in their kitchen, but they know that they will be gone in a few weeks leaving behind a nicer kitchen and a happier mommy/daddy/life partner of parent.
Please note that ALL white people went through a renovation when they were kids. This is a good subject to bond over, perhaps a story about how you were embarassed at a sleepover when a friend went to the bathroom and there was a contractor on the toilet. Embellish as necessary.
Pages: [11] 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
huh
Things Republicans Hate: No. 29 Archaeology
http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/?p=274
renovating it so the insides look all modern with a stainless steel fridge
not just a stainless steel fridge, it’s a “gigantic” stainless steel fridge”
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another good one is ShutTheFuckUpBeanBecauseNoOneLikesYourSite.com
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
Asshole.
what if every bit of the renovation was done by you and your dad including the plumbing and electricity? is it still normal white people or does it fall on crazy immigrant white people.
Crazy immigrant white people. Which I fall into. My husband and I do all of our remolding ourselves. I do all the construction. He does all the electrical and plumbing. Also to note. My parents never remolded. But I was 18 by the time they were 40, so maybe their time will still come.
All white people engage in another ritual, this one quite early on in life: learning to write, speak, and punctuate the English language correctly. I hope your English instructors (for the love of God, I hope you are just recently learning the language) are trying to impart this to you.
White people LOVE correcting people, scathing sarcasm, and flaunting their intelligence. Perhaps someone will add these to the overall list.
Dude, you’re really boring. Fucking eh!
Who are you talking to? The poster’s english is fine. Chill, please.
I am White and I’m an employee of the We Do – Redo remodeling Inc. (I’m the secretary).
as for the renovating I went through, it started in my early teens. I also have all these little sketches of my “dream home”. However, I’m not into the “modern” look described in the post, I’m into Steampunk.
older homes that Whites enjoy remodeling are better built than the post 1960′s “lego” houses (as I call them) and they are better all around. my grandmother lives in a house built in the year 1919, and my dad helped her remodel the hallway recently, and the back bathroom a few years ago; it looks better every day! Grandma is an artist.
ahhh, come on with the 14/88 shit. booooo.
Pages: [11] 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All