#39 Netflix
January 29, 2008 by clander
We all know white people love film festivals, but what about movies that don’t make it to a film festival, or weren’t in the local film festival? How do you get accesss? Thankfully white people have Netflix.
If you don’t know, Netflix sends you DVDs in the mail and you get new ones when you send the old ones back.
White people are absolutely crazy for Netflix for a number of reasons. Firstly, because all of them are convinced that there is a global conspiracy to keep good, independent, groundbreaking film from mainstream distribution (multiplexes, blockbuster, etc).
To them, Netflix (in spite of being a for profit company) is a brand new way for independent filmmakers to find an audience. By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.
If you see a group of white people and you need to break into the conversation, a good thing to say “hey, is anyone else thinking that Netflix shipping is getting slower? I’m doing this PT Anderson thing, and I’m only up to Magnolia! What’s that all about?” They will relate, and talk about their own Netflix queues and how they are trying to get caught up on French New Wave.
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Yeah, us white people sure are pretentious with our desire to get college degrees and love of cinema. Wow, where do we get off?
i guess this is true for some whites. although, thankfully, as far as i know, i don’t have any friends of family who are that conceited about the movies they watch. i love netflix, especially the instant movies. independent films aren’t usually my cup of tea because i often find them to be to self-centered and self proclaimed cultural, but if it’s good, i’ll watch anything. i hate to admit that i go off reviews over word of mouth when i watch movies. word of mouth caused me to watch the boondock saints. man that was a mistake on my part. i could’ve been playing resident evil 4 with those two hours instead of watching a crappy movie. anyway, yeah, its safe to assume that whites like netflix even if they don’t have a subscription. its movies, how could you not like it
TV sucks. stop watching it. most movies suck. stop watching it. marlies and me, leonard decrapio, jon leibowitz, and gigli, marie lopez-WTF? is this what the typical dumb white american watches?
flatulence, scat, black ganger bangers, hillybillies, white trash, etc…people cheating, and plots and twists on the corrupt government—life imitating art, or art imitiating life. just watch you local jokers politicians/”lawyers” and that is enough entertainment for a lifetime.
Good grief, give your soap box a rest. What other option do we have? Sitting around staring at eachother, while secretly wishing we were watching movies about ganger bangers?
What are “ganger bangers”?
Oh, and what are “hillybillies”?
This made me laugh til I cried. Literally. HILLYBILLIES!
I’m sorry that Marly and Me is the only movie on your radar, but there is plenty of great stuff out there as well. Do what good white people do and go to a film festival!
I have no idea who Jon Leibowitz is and what Marie Lopez-WTF means.
Hah I know one website that’s even better than Netflix – http://www.dubli.com. OK, so it’s not films, but you get gadgets and stuff at massively discounted prices. This will enable white people to brag endlessly to their friends about how their iPod only cost them $26, making them feel clever and superior.
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
Thats the truth, I watch some really good documentaries.
“By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.”
…Yeah ok. I’m pretty sure most of them are just looking to rent Knocked Up then turn it in for Pineapple Express.
stop watching boob tube, start reading books, enjoy life, get outta house, stop watching TV/junky movies.
amen, most movies are garbarge. read a book and clear the brain. shut off the tv and stop supporting hollywood crap.
There are so many intellectually stimulating and visually stunning movies that are as good as or better than books. Try Hitchcock, Fellini and foreign films for starters.
Mark my words, there will be an entry on this site called “White people love to be intellectually stimulated”
I love the comments to these things, do you not get that the site is making fun of you?
Here is what you should do tonight:
1. Go to the nearest NON organic chain grocery store
2. Buy a big bag of Dorritos
3. Remove stick out of your ass
4. Turn on your TV and watch the first crappy reality show you find
5. RELAX!
@Lol
I was responding to one of the commentators, not the website. Read more carefully. I love the website and only a moron would not realize that it’s satirical. Still, this wasn’t one of the best entries.
White people love to laugh at themselves dont you get it ?
You probably don’t watch many movies, then. Shutting off the TV is one thing, watching movies is another. There’s plenty to rent aside from “hollywood crap” that is at least as intellectually stimulating as books.
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