#39 Netflix
January 29, 2008 by clander
We all know white people love film festivals, but what about movies that don’t make it to a film festival, or weren’t in the local film festival? How do you get accesss? Thankfully white people have Netflix.
If you don’t know, Netflix sends you DVDs in the mail and you get new ones when you send the old ones back.
White people are absolutely crazy for Netflix for a number of reasons. Firstly, because all of them are convinced that there is a global conspiracy to keep good, independent, groundbreaking film from mainstream distribution (multiplexes, blockbuster, etc).
To them, Netflix (in spite of being a for profit company) is a brand new way for independent filmmakers to find an audience. By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.
If you see a group of white people and you need to break into the conversation, a good thing to say “hey, is anyone else thinking that Netflix shipping is getting slower? I’m doing this PT Anderson thing, and I’m only up to Magnolia! What’s that all about?” They will relate, and talk about their own Netflix queues and how they are trying to get caught up on French New Wave.
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Post #73 Over-Explaining Things (see above as examples)
Post #74 Thinking they’re naturally smarter than everyone else
Post #75 Being defensive
Post #76 Office parties (especially getting drunk at Christmas parties and dressing like sluts at Halloween parties)
Post #77 Tanning & cosmetic surgery
Post #78 Taking credit for discovering things already discovered (America, braids, jazz, etc.)
Post #79 Small talk
I agree with “so white i’m blinding’s” post. I would also like to add that I am a bit anal, and Netflix web site speaks to that side of me. I can rate every single movie I’ve seen 1-5 stars, write reviews, make recommendations to my friends and track my viewing habits. Yes, I’m white AND nerdy (like the Weird Al song, only I’ve got a tan). Netflix rules!
Aleks – do you actually have time for all this in between Star Trek conventions?
yeah the blogger should remove the few things which he really failed to understand. a lot of white people just are too lazy to go to blockbuster; mainly cause we’re all worn out from hiking, and still famished because ethiopian food isn’t very filling!
I don’t know if I speak on behalf of the majority of my pale brethren or not, but the reason I use Netflix is because I always forget to bring back movies on time, and there’s no late fees with Netflix. Not to mention I get a little sick of not being able to find the movie I really want to watch at the video story. Nope, not laziness, not a desire to get indie flicks only…sheer practicality. Now, that being said, this blog pretty much nails my people down.
I agree. I love this blog, but I think this post is all wrong. I am totally opposite of most of these stereotypes (and yes, I am very white) but I LOVE Netflix! It’s all about thriftiness and convenience.
Oh, and I am helping save the environment because I don’t have to drive to Blockbuster…the mailman already drives by my house everyday so it’s not using anymore fuel. I love saving the planet in my own special way
This blog is fantastic…I think one of the best parts is how, we white folk, comment on how….I use netflix because…..or I drink bottled water because….. Just admit it “it’s funny cause its true”.
This pretty much covers it for me. I’ve sat on movies for longer than a month. I have no interest in indies. It’s too bad Netflix doesn’t do porn; they do softcore stuff, but no hardcore flesh flicks. Oh, well, you can’t win them all.
Oh, yes, wouldn’t it be nice to get a little porn thrown in for those of us (even the girls)who’d like a smut once in a while. I believe that is also a white thing, but it is warped, white men have to say that they don’t watch it, while FORTUNATELY us white women can say we do like it and we are cheered!!
Seriously (tongue in cheek) I love Netflix because it is sort of like my own personal library of films, that I pay somebody to keep in order for me, when I want something, or a friend is coming over a night or two from now, I can special order a movie.
What makes it really white though is thinking that our film tastes are SOOOO important that we have to share /inflict our opinions on our friends,
Softcore is ok. There are some funny Tinto Brass movies on there. And as much as I love indies and foreign movies I’m not trying to help the “independent industry”. I just like watching movies that aren’t 90% CGI. And the only way I can find them is through Netflix. Plus no late fees is a bonus.
I use netflix because my local Blockbuster and Hollywood video absolutely sucks ass.
It’s so true!
Dont forget about getting netflix b/c one is too lazy to get in the car and go to Blockbuster or some other mainstream video store…pure laziness, mind you, why get up when I can get it sent in the mail? This is the same philosophy by which getting your groceries delivered is a white phenomenon.
dont forget us white retards for whom going to where the movie rental store is equals a monumental task. I’M RETARDED, OF COURSE i want it EASY! i am just as lazy as everybody else, and i have an excuse to exercise it!
You must be retarded actually, to use the word “retard” as a verb.
…retard is also a verb. Do you not have a dictionary?
i prefer the term: Tar-Tar.
Actually, he was using it as a noun, retard.
let’s not forget:
-the word “cozy”
-the state of oregon
-the state of vermont
-national public radio
-motown (the record label, not city)
What the hell are you talking about? I live in Oregon, and what the hell are you talking about?
also:
-modern furniture
-urban outfitters
-whole foods
-apple products
i’d like to suggest
-coachella
-flea markets/vintage clothing
Coachella is actually the shit though
Thanks whitey. point proven.
I pooped my pants
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