#39 Netflix
January 29, 2008 by clander
We all know white people love film festivals, but what about movies that don’t make it to a film festival, or weren’t in the local film festival? How do you get accesss? Thankfully white people have Netflix.
If you don’t know, Netflix sends you DVDs in the mail and you get new ones when you send the old ones back.
White people are absolutely crazy for Netflix for a number of reasons. Firstly, because all of them are convinced that there is a global conspiracy to keep good, independent, groundbreaking film from mainstream distribution (multiplexes, blockbuster, etc).
To them, Netflix (in spite of being a for profit company) is a brand new way for independent filmmakers to find an audience. By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.
If you see a group of white people and you need to break into the conversation, a good thing to say “hey, is anyone else thinking that Netflix shipping is getting slower? I’m doing this PT Anderson thing, and I’m only up to Magnolia! What’s that all about?” They will relate, and talk about their own Netflix queues and how they are trying to get caught up on French New Wave.
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Netflix isn’t helping, people. Using it just contributes to the surge of Blockbuster-type chain video stores by killing all the small, locally-owned, more “artsy” stores.
Get off your butt and return your damn DVD.
Yeah, like a lot of others, we got netflix because we’re completely incapable of returning a movie on time and those late fees are horrible. Plus, I like to be able to get New Zealand films because I’m a Kiwi in America and there’s no other way to see them most of the time.
I use Netflix because, although I am a white person with a television, I don’t have cable. I don’t think I’m “contributing to a cultural revolution in film” by using Netflix, I just know that any movie I want to watch is not going to be available for rent at the local Blockbuster.
yeah whateves!!!
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[...] #39 Netflix [...]
Come on — you know black people love Netflix too. Black people love movies! (Just ask any of my numerous black friends.)
[...] Though white people have a natural aversion to television, there are some exceptions. For white people to like a TV show it helps if it is: critically acclaimed, low-rated, shown on premium cable, and available as a DVD box set. [...]
Memo to Netflix: I am big! It’s the pictures that got small.
Don’t black folks like netflix? – the ones that like movies, I mean.
I’ve found that using netflix requires 3 things: a working computer, a working mail system, & a working credit card. Is there something white about those things?
You forget that this site is comedy… not to be taken seriously-literally… okay Bobo, now go drink a latte and calm down.
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