#40 Apple Products
January 30, 2008 by clander
It is surprising that it took all the way to #40 to call out Apple products. Initially, we were planning for an entire week on Apple products, but that would just be over kill.
Plain and simple, white people don’t just like Apple, they love and need Apple to operate.
On the surface, you would ask yourself, how is that white people love a multi-billion dollar company with manufacturing plants in China, mass production, and that contributes to global pollution through the manufacture of consumer electronic devices?
Simple answer: Apple products tell the world you are creative and unique. They are an exclusive product line only used by every white college student, designer, writer, English teacher, and hipster on the planet.
You see, a long time ago Apple’s were super popular among layout artists and graphic designers. Then Apple released Final Cut Pro and became the standard for film editors. As a result, lots of creative industries used Apple computers instead of PCs. Eventually, people started making the connection, and all of a sudden all white people need to have a Mac.
When you ask white people about Mac’s they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine.
It is also important that white people are reminded of their creativity, and remember you need a Mac to creatively check email, creatively check websites, and creatively watch DVDs on planes.
White people also need iPods, iPhones, Apple TV, AirPort Express stations, and anything else that Apple will produce. Because you need to express your uniqueness by purchasing everything that a publicly traded company produces.
Apple products also come with stickers. Some people put them on their computer, some people put them on windows, but to take it to the pinnacle of whiteness, you need to put the Apple sticker in the rear window of your Prius, Jetta, BMW, Subaru 4WD Station Wagon or Audi. You then need to drive to a local coffee shop (Starbucks will do in a pinch) and set up your apple for the world to see. Thankfully, the Apple logo on the back will light up! So even in a dark place, people can see how unique and creative you (and the five other people doing the exact same thing) truly are!
Knowledge of Apple products can be useful in a number of social situations. If you see a white person with a Mac, an easy way to approach them is to say “Is that a Powerbook? What OS do you have?” They will happily start talking to you, after the requisite five minutes, you can invite them to an 80s night.
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the only thing worse than apple is pc
[...] #40 Apple Products [...]
all true
i worked in advertising for 10 years, and every 20 something nimrod just out of artschool had a F-in i book! I was a poor assistant editor who could really use one for editing and stuff. and these yahoos would show up and surf the web for like an hour on their $2000 ibooks!
for what they did they could of used a 5 year old HP.
To quote Maddox, “The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face.”
I’d spam links to The Best Page in the Universe, but that’s getting tired and cliche.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Linux is only for teh 133735t h4xx0rz
[...] friend introduced me to the site by referencing a particular post to me in conversation; I think what really drove the similarity home was the fact that I, too, have [...]
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Justice, and Equality?
http://www.survival-international.org
WTF is this thread and the amount of racist comments. Don’t get me wrong but grouping people according to their “color” is clear racism, no matter what you think.
In my country you would get arrested and sent in jail for saying things like that, you know.
I’ve got a friend who took a film class at their university this semester and was required to purchase an external hard drive for a group project. I advised the student to get a Western Digital My Book Home Edition 320 GB (size wise not that big right) from Best Buy.
Well here’s the kicker the university uses nothing but Macs (I don’t Know WHY) in their filming department. I guess its for the “Creative” ones but guess what?…….THATS RIGHT you got it, the Mac couldn’t even recognize the fat 32 partition stationed on the hard drive which is kinda rediculous since PCs will just let you plug and play.
NOOOOOOO
1st the technologically retarded professor (who’s probably one of the many Poster Children for the Mac generation) had to format and create smaller partitions since, as Western Digital puts it:
Macintosh Operating Systems may only recognize FAT32 partitions that are smaller than 128-gigabytes. Multiple FAT32 partitions smaller than 128-gigabytes will need to be created in order for Macintosh Operating Systems to recognize the partitions. You will need to use a —–>WINDOWS even when its 35 below in the artic tundra
Shorts
Coffee
and most RECENTLY
The POPE – nevermind God, Little Ol’ Guys in White Dresses is what really turns us On!!!
I Love you guys SWPL, you really stepped up to the plate on this one….Keep It Up!
uhm… im white… and i hate apple products. I actually hate them, very nearly as much as i hate Sony (the company, and the products). they’re twits, selling crappy OS’s to people on crappy overpriced hardware that sucks at all levels.
But, im glad to see a site as utterly terrible as this one shilling for them… well done brownhole
[...] to be anti-SWPL, but I almost wonder if Apple Computers is behind this. Anyone that’s ever tried to download [...]
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