Regardless if you are vegetarian, vegan, or just guilty about eating meat, all white people love Sushi. To them, it’s everything they want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the ‘uneducated.’
But there are different levels of white person Sushi love. At the bottom are the spicy tuna/california roll eaters. These are the people who get their fix at places named “Rock And Roll!” “Magic Sushi Company,” or Trader Joes-type supermarkets. Often times, this sushi isn’t the most authentic, but white people can’t get enough!
The next level up is the entry level Sushi snob, these are people who still love rolls, but are willing to branch out to Salmon and Tuna sashimi, maybe even eel.
Finally, you have the white sushi snob. These people just take it all way too far. Often times, they will only sit at the sushi bar, will try to order in Japanese and will only order Omakase. These people will often be extremely critical of anyone who eats a roll of any type or does not properly flip the nighiri into their mouths.
When white people get Sushi they all want to order Sake to complete the authentic experience.
So, how can this information be turned into personal gain?
White people are obsessed with finding good sushi, therefore if you offer to take them to ‘the best sushi place’ in town, you are sure to have them accept. If you are asian man, this is an almost no-fail method of getting dates with white girls, and maybe, just maybe joining Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad.
In addition, going out for Sushi is considered a special evening in white person culture. Not as special as breakfast, but still, it comes with expectations.
But what if the person you are interested in is a vegetarian? Not a problem. For some reason, most white people who say they are vegetarians will eat Sushi. Apparently, fish aren’t cute enough to warrant inclusion with pigs, chickens and cows.
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I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on raw fish known as sushi.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
I’m a vegan and DON’T eat fish (only the fake vegetarians do) but I love vegetable sushi. Avocado sushi is the best. Yum. I’m a mix of Asian and White but I seem to have a bunch of the white qualities listed (coffee, Vespas, veganism, sushi, hating my parents, loving travel, etc.) I think this blog describes urban liberals (of any race), not white people. I live in rural southwestern Ohio and the (white) people around here are the complete opposite of the people described on this blog.
we dont like it cuz it makes us cultural, we like it cuz it tastes really good.
The sushi levels are 100% on point. Good job.
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
I guess I would be a sushi snob …
hehe, way 2 true. I do love sushi. Im not any of those “levels of white person Sushi love” (amazingly titled by the way, haha) because I enjoy everything, eat sushi anywhere and would never dream of trying to speak japanese. I cant even speak french, and I took french classes for like…. 5 years. haha.
good clog though. Love it.
Please excuse the patronising look on my face as I type this but I just KNOW that you people are not pronouncing the Japanese names for the abovementioned foodstuffs as the Japanese do. It’s not “sushi” – it’s “sushi”! And if I get any one of you coming up to me and say you want a “felafel kebab” in that middle class suburban accent of yours then I’ll giggle and culturally lord over you as I say “don’t you mean “felafel kebab”? And don’t get me started on Itallian cuisine!
Cmon – White up!
[...] #42 Sushi [...]
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