Regardless if you are vegetarian, vegan, or just guilty about eating meat, all white people love Sushi. To them, it’s everything they want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the ‘uneducated.’
But there are different levels of white person Sushi love. At the bottom are the spicy tuna/california roll eaters. These are the people who get their fix at places named “Rock And Roll!” “Magic Sushi Company,” or Trader Joes-type supermarkets. Often times, this sushi isn’t the most authentic, but white people can’t get enough!
The next level up is the entry level Sushi snob, these are people who still love rolls, but are willing to branch out to Salmon and Tuna sashimi, maybe even eel.
Finally, you have the white sushi snob. These people just take it all way too far. Often times, they will only sit at the sushi bar, will try to order in Japanese and will only order Omakase. These people will often be extremely critical of anyone who eats a roll of any type or does not properly flip the nighiri into their mouths.
When white people get Sushi they all want to order Sake to complete the authentic experience.
So, how can this information be turned into personal gain?
White people are obsessed with finding good sushi, therefore if you offer to take them to ‘the best sushi place’ in town, you are sure to have them accept. If you are asian man, this is an almost no-fail method of getting dates with white girls, and maybe, just maybe joining Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad.
In addition, going out for Sushi is considered a special evening in white person culture. Not as special as breakfast, but still, it comes with expectations.
But what if the person you are interested in is a vegetarian? Not a problem. For some reason, most white people who say they are vegetarians will eat Sushi. Apparently, fish aren’t cute enough to warrant inclusion with pigs, chickens and cows.
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This article is truth. The only thing better than sushi is losing the game.
쓰쯔의 알림…
#42 Sushi « Stuff White People Like이런게 바로 컬쳐럴 다이섹션? 미쿡애들이랑 막 웃다가 보니까 나도 결국 랔n롤스시초보네 맛있는데어쩌라고_-;…
韓国人なんだね。韓国語で書けるから自分が頭がいいと思うね。
쓰쯔의 생각…
#42 Sushi « Stuff White People Like 이런게 바로 컬쳐럴 다이섹션?! 양키친구들이랑 막 이거 보면서 깔깔 웃다가 생각해보니 나도 결국 Rock…
Here is a link for anyone who wants to read up on sushi and learn what it really is.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sushi
And by the way, while it is rare, white women do go for East Asian men. Just because they’re not famous doesn’t mean it doesn’t count.
what abt sushi parties / sushi party throwers? I know some ppl, every so often we’ll throw a sushi pary – make trays n trays of rolls (yes, rolls are sushi – which literally means ‘the art of rice’), invite a bunch of ppl, n voila! all you can eat!
I stand corrected. I researched your statement and found it to be correct. Thank you for showing me the errors of my ways (not sarcasm, honestly).
I am white and I don’t fall under any of these. I enjoy sushi and rolls, though I do not classify rolls as sushi, but mainly because neither do the Japanese or Koreans. I don’t go to sushi bars because they are too expensive. And sake? Forget it. Apart from eating sushi, I can’t stand State-side sushi places, for it’s just not the same and way overpriced. I do, however, enjoy watching other white people try to eat it, because it often ends with predictable, yet hilarious results.
White man tries to order sushi in Japanese, butchers language. Waiter (who is usually Japanese) will either laugh as his failed attempt, or the waiter will actually be Korean, get offended for being confused for Japanese, and put something more than just wasabi under his sushi.
Finally, his food arrives and the first thing he does is reach for the soy sauce. The white man then proceeds to douse the plate with the stuff as if it’s gravy. He grabs the chopsticks, fumbles with them for a minute, then once he’s got the hang of them, tries to pick up the sushi, only to have it fall apart from being lathered in soy sauce. He looks defeated, but is determined to keep using the chopsticks because he’s under the impression that the owners of the place will be offended if he eats it with anything but the chopsticks. So he picks each rice individually and eventually gives up and grabs a spoon.
My experience with the “stereotypical” white man eating sushi, though the white people I personally know also know how to handle sushi and are not ignorant, nor fall under any of these catagories. Call me a snob for being cultured, I couldn’t care less. I’m not trying to win a popularity contest.
Haha, culture comes from chopsticks now? Most Americans can use chop sticks, though many European whites wouldn’t consider it. Doesn’t make them less cultured, they just prefer their own culture.
Ok, this one is true enough. I’m an entry-level sushi snob!
And the part about finding “the best sushi in town” – that’s me too.
I never realized I was such a stereotype. But I’m willing to be sarcastically mocked for the sake of enjoying my unagi bowl
[...] reading done. I catch up on LOST and I get to hit Happy Hour early! I’m off to have some sushi. Well, just the fake kind (Yummy Cuvacado [...]
this whitey cant stand the stuff,how can anybody eat that crap…sooner eat me own shit….
You are the uneducated type that was mentioned in the article.
Sushi—my weakness. However I did know a few black people who love it too. Does that make them white or just gay?
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