#45 Asian Fusion Food
January 31, 2008 by mylosh
While white people enjoy venturing to ethnic parts of town to satisfy their pallette, most would prefer to take their first dates and parents to a place with dimmer lights, less water tanks with crabs and lobsters wishing that they would die, less ducks hanging from the window and table cloths that aren’t plastic sheets. Some people caught on to this and decided to open Fusion Asian restaurants. These people are now very rich
Fusion restaurants offer a mix of all Asian foods (except Indian, but most don’t know that India is part of Asia) in an atmosphere that resembles a cocktail lounge in the West Village as opposed to Hong Kong. Basically you can eat exotic, in comfortable surroundings. Many are not shy to admit that the food is subpar and overpriced, but they still line up for hours to get in because they love the decor and the mix drinks. These places often have names with no Asian words or characters in them and are limited to two syllables. ie) Ginger, Spring Rolls, Wild Rice, Sumile. Sometimes the names are really clever like “Asiate”, get it?
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This doesn’t apply if you have an Asian girlfriend, as you’ll lose major style points for eating at such a place.
“Lemon Grass” in Columbus, O fits the bill…
Toledo, O. was late to catch on and only recently “Bistro Wasabi” (“an oasis of local sophistication in the midst of a synthetic culture shopping area. Tucked on a side street of “Levis Commons”, Bistro Wasabi offers an eclectic mix of Japanese sushi house favorites, Asian fusion creations, and the Toledo staple of steaks and chicken!”) has caught on.
stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
I wouldn’t dare call you racist. Boring? Sure. Predictable? Definitely. Usable as hamburger meat? Absolutely.
Asians like to shoot heroin?
That would be “fewer fish tanks,” not less.
“Saucebox” in Portland, Oregon fits all your criteria.
O shut up.
Tsk, tsk: “palate” and less vs. fewer. 20 cc’s of editing, stat!
[...] post info By Russ Crandall Categories: Editorials and Food Shit. I just spent 10 minutes reading through a fellow WordPress blog, Stuff White People Like. So far, they’ve listed 66 things. For the most part, they’re pretty spot-on, if not a little generic. The one I agreed with most (and despise the most) is #45, asian fusion food. [...]
yeap. if words like steam rice, ginger, soy cause, soy, terriyaki, spring roll, egg roll, thai…are included in the dish description then it can be claimed as an Asian dish. Of course chopsticks are usually brought with your order. And yes you pay $8 for a bowl of noodles at these places vs. 4.50 at real asian place. oh did i mention they taste like crap. a crap load of soy sauce over my rice and chicken and it’s asian dish!
a clue to good asian place….if there are old asians customer and the cooks and waiter/tress barely speaks english….you will get authentic food. And you’re getting a large noodle bowl for $4.50. yum yum.
Do you think we go into these neighborhoods for the conversation? Of course we only go into non-white areas for the food. Food and music are how cultures interact. If that seems lame, just start mugging whites and they can speand their money at Whole Foods instead.
By the way, love the last comment, those guys are douchebags.
taken from dinehere.ca
Norvanne from North Van
Ironically, we ended up with too much time to kill. So we stretched out our meal as long as we could. In retrospect, I’m amazed how well we were treated in the circumstances. People were starting to line up and we were still occupying a primo table. Our server was exceptionally prompt, yet never implied that we should hurry. We were encouraged to take our time and enjoy ourselves.
Vanchef from Vancouver
The atmosphere was supported by the overpriced average food.Meaning you pay to sit in this place at the edge of Chinatown.
chowman of Main Street, Vancouver (please note that everyone from east vancouver must describe which neighbourhood they live in as opposed to saying just “Vancouver”)
I had a glass of Noble Blend before the soup, a glass of pinot noir with the soup, and a glass of shiraz with the bison. Mrs. C had a pink famingo and two glasses of Noble Blend. After dinner drinks were Scapa scotch and Rip van Winkle bourbon (very reasonably priced). The service was attentive save for a gap between being seated and our drink order being taken. I think that Vancouver servers generally allow too much time to pass after seating. The decor at the front is minimalist. I think the tables look a little tired. I am not a big fan of lucite and metal. The bar set up is colourful.
Buck from Vancouver
I will give credit – the food was decent, enjoyed the ambiance and the front staff was very pleasant. However, our server was absolutely terrible. First, it took him forever to come and greet us. Then it took forever for him to bring our water and to take our drink order.
Sage from Downtown Van
I’ve only been twice, but while the atmosphere is comfortable and reasonably stylish, every dish I’ve sampled has been very weak considering the prices they charge.
bart weisser from Vancouver
What a great looking room, right out of Wallpaper, nice tunes, and sexy staff. Cocktails are all too sweet and focus on pretty colours rather than showing off the booze. Wine list is the best in the Gastown/Chinatown hood although chill Winston and Salt have more by the glass. Food is mediocre at best and dessert shameful.
I’ll close with this one
EandE from Richmond (they are obviously Asian)
Downside is the menu has too many phonetic chinese words (we have no idea what it means even though my GF and I are fluent chinese). Dessert menu was unappealing.
Did I ever write that review … for where?
I pooped my pants
That’s the point Dummy!
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