Posted in Culture, People on February 28, 2008 | 1,252 Comments »
All white people want their children to speak another language. There are no exceptions. They dream about the children drifting in between French and English sentences as they bustle about the kitchen while they read the New York Times and listen to Jazz. As white people age, they start to feel more and more angry [...]
Posted in Culture on February 28, 2008 | 585 Comments »
One of the more interesting things about White people is that they love singing comedians. This style of humor involves a person or group singing a song but rather than singing about something serious, it has funny lyrics. It’s not any more complicated than that, but white people can’t get enough of it. Weird Al [...]
Posted in Activities, Food & Beverage on February 26, 2008 | 861 Comments »
Water seems like a fairly simple concept. You turn on the tap, put glass underneath, and drink. Sadly, it is not this simple for white people. On the whole, they are unable to put a glass under a tap and just drink. In fact, this is such a strange concept that the city of New [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture on February 24, 2008 | 2,012 Comments »
Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada. For example, [...]
Posted in Film, Food & Beverage on February 24, 2008 | 353 Comments »
One of the best places to gain a white person’s trust is at an Oscar party. An invitation to one these parties is basically your “foot in the door”. Vocabulary is one of the first things to be aware of at an Oscar party. Never say “movie”, always say “film” and know which awards use [...]
Posted in Activities, People on February 22, 2008 | 1,208 Comments »
In general, white people love situations where they can’t lose. While this does account for the majority of their situations, perhaps the safest bet a white person can make is to buy a house in an up-and-coming neighborhood. White people like to live in these neighborhoods because they get credibility and respect from other white [...]
Posted in Activities, Travel on February 22, 2008 | 578 Comments »
In addition to accumulating sexual partners, binge drinking, drug use and learning, white people consider studying abroad to be one of the most important parts of a well rounded college education. Study Abroad allows people to leave their current educational institution and spend a semester or a year in Europe or Australia. Though study abroad [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture, People on February 20, 2008 | 1,040 Comments »
This concept ties heavily into post #7 Diversity and post #19 Travelling, but is important that you fully understand how white people view authenticity and experience. In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, [...]
Posted in Culture, People on February 18, 2008 | 522 Comments »
Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly. At some point, you will likely encounter a white person who is in the middle of a difficult breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The suffering of heartbreak is universal, but [...]
Posted in People on February 17, 2008 | 792 Comments »
In the olden days of white culture, people used to look up to Kings and Princes. These were the people that they adored, and every night they wished and hoped that somehow they could wake up and be just like them. But with Royal Families crumbling, that role has been filled by one man: Mos [...]
Posted in Film on February 17, 2008 | 305 Comments »
In putting together the canon of directors that white people like, we must include Michel Gondry. He directed such white classics as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Science of Sleep, and Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. Oh, that’s right Charlie Kaufman, Gael Garcia Bernal, AND Dave Chappelle – could it get any better for [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture on February 17, 2008 | 656 Comments »
Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, [...]
Posted in Activities, tagged love on February 15, 2008 | 440 Comments »
Most studies on the topic of divorce, focus in on the obvious. For instance the median age of divorce for white men is 30.5 and 29 for women. This is usually around the time when white people further over analyze their lives and look for change, even if some of the stuff that they accomplished, [...]
Posted in Culture on February 14, 2008 | 217 Comments »
White people love being outside, but often during the week they don’t have time for marathons or ten mile bike rides. The answer is to play co-ed sports. This provides white people with a valuable opportunity to make friends with other white people and maybe even find a few dates. Many white people play in [...]
Posted in Products on February 14, 2008 | 498 Comments »
Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much. Recycling is fantastic! You can still buy all the stuff you like (bottled water, beer, wine, organic iced tea, and cans of all varieties) and then when you’re done you just put it [...]
