#47 Arts Degrees
February 1, 2008 by clander
When white people go away to college, they tend to study what are knowns as the Arts. This includes actual Art, English, History, Classics, and Philosophy. These can of course be broken down further into Film, Womyn’s Studies (yes the spelling is correct), Communications, Gender Studies, and so forth. It is important to note that a high percentage of white people also get degrees in Political Science, which is pretty much like arts, and only seems to have the word “science” in it to make white people feel better about themselves.
These degrees enable white people to spend four yeas of their lives reading books, writing papers and feeling great about themselves. It is a known fact that Arts students firmly believe that they are doing you/society a favor by not getting a job and reading Proust. They use this to protest for reduced tuition, more money for the arts, and special reduced student rates on things like bus passes.
But what about the white people who study Science, Engineering or Business? Unless they become doctors, they essentially lose white person status (and can only be regained by working at a non-profit).
So why would white people spend all that time studying and working to get into college if they are just going to read books that they might have read in their free time? Because white people have it made. They can take that degree and easily parlay it into a non profit job, an art gallery job, or work in publishing. If the pay is low, no problem, their parents will happily help out with rent until they magically start making six figures or non-magically turn 40.
White people can also take that degree and go to graduate school (future post) and eventually become a professor or adjunct professor where they will still require parental support.
If they are REALLY ambitious and need to make money, they can take that degree and go to Law School.
But the real reason white people need these degrees is so that they can sound smart at parties. Of course it trickles down to making connections, getting hired, knowing rich people, and so forth. But ultimately it all begins by saying “reading Henry James was the most rewarding part of undergrad.”
Using this to your advantage can be very difficult as attempts to talk about the books they skimmed while hungover can expose you. It is best to say that you were a first generation college student and your parents demanded that you study math, chemistry, economics or computer science. You had to read Joyce on your own.
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Dear whitest person I know guy. I’m studying Maths, have I officially lost my white status?
I majored in scatology and thought it was a bullshit major, but I found it very useful in the real world.
My major is Biomedical Engineering, but most peopl, white or black, tend to stop listening around the fifth syllable and say “oh that sounds hard.”
I know exactly what you mean…that’s my major too. People either say that or “you must be really smart.” It makes things really awkward….
haha I used to be one of those white people, and thought that my liberal arts degree was a better choice in life because it reflected deep humanitarian concerns and a disregard for the concept of participating in the mundane economic workings of society. Then I tried to get a job. Long story short, you won.
I have a degree in Advertising & Public Relations…and…Music. I just happened to learn enough to never buy a Steinway. It’s all marketing bullshit.
Music is a lot like biomedical engineering. Advertising & PR is a lot like BS.
I don’t like it when music is grouped with other arts degrees, it’s a lot more intellectually demanding than most people assume.
This is very true. I really enjoyed getting my degree in Art History and the Visual Arts. I would also like to state that my classmate Tucker Neil did his Senior Comprehensive project on “Whiteness” which is, as far as I can tell, the study of how to feel guilty about being white. You may want to consider the study of “Whiteness” as one of the things that white people like. It involves guilt and useless knowledge wrapped up in an academic sounding package. BRILLIANT!
. . . essentially the impetus behind this whole site, which I’d be willing to wager is visted almost exclusively by white people.
Brilliant and true…though not useless.
Womyn? Fucking cunt whores, get in the kitchen and make me some dinner before i beat the shit outta u and make u miscarraige, well i guess thats cheaper tahn an abortion huh u little slut?
I love how in this comment you can see where he just stopped caring about proper spelling.
Sexist. There we go – you’ve just done one of those things that white people DON’T like.
I’m a music major. Thankfully, there isn’t much room for leftist indoctrination in a school of music. What can a liberal professor do? Say George Bush writes parallel fourths? They’ll try to feed us occasional bullshit in musicology classes (like an article my sister’s African music class had to read, claiming white people have ugly souls and therefore can’t write beautiful music), but no one does the reading anyway. We’re all too busy practicing.
Actual music requires too much practicing (as you mention, Soprano) and thus is too much work for a true white person. You’re more likely to meet white people who can BS at length on their “favorite” music (see #108) or musicology (see your sister’s full-of-crap African music class article).
the one thing this really forgot to mention is the liberal part of arts degree, which allows one to act liberally in a bubble completely checked out of the real world. Partying by night and advocating the freeing of so and so or the environmental degradation of this and that by day. I’m white and enjoyed four blissful years of History and secondary focus on skiing and bullshit. To top it off, after 2 years in the working world I decided to re-instate my objection to the real world went ahead and got an MA in Arts Business at school outside the US all the keep the parental gravy train rolling into my late 20′s. A grand life oh and non-white people seem to find it pretty enjoyable too.
I love all of you. Engineers and artsies, alike!
electrical engineering is the only real major.
i will finance your project with my business degree
And I’ll convince you that maybe your miserable life is worth living when you read my novel.
Credit-crunch bitch!
Next?
I’m white and of Brazilian descent. At the same time, I am a Government Major (political science) at an Ivy.
Granted, poli sci is not as difficult as engineering, biology, etc. Many people will just coast by in it hungover like the writer of this article stated. However, it is as difficult or fulfilling as you make it…if you’re legitimately interested in the workings of politics and ruling institutions, then study it, fuck what nay sayers think….a world of just engineers would be frickin boring anyway (or maybe just Asian, based on my campus haha). Besides, I’m hoping to go to law school or work for the Federal Government, so who knows what happens. In the meantime, bloggers can say what they will on this site/book and it really won’t have an influence on how I live my life…
No influence whatsoever…like say taking time away from your day to write a whole paragraph about something you don’t care about???
Sounds like the only person your convincing is yourself…
Ahh the classic internets retort. “IF UR SO NOT BOTHERED THEN Y ARE U REPLYING?”.
You know it is possible to be interested in something and find it amusing without it influencing you…
Godverdomme!
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