#47 Arts Degrees
February 1, 2008 by clander
When white people go away to college, they tend to study what are knowns as the Arts. This includes actual Art, English, History, Classics, and Philosophy. These can of course be broken down further into Film, Womyn’s Studies (yes the spelling is correct), Communications, Gender Studies, and so forth. It is important to note that a high percentage of white people also get degrees in Political Science, which is pretty much like arts, and only seems to have the word “science” in it to make white people feel better about themselves.
These degrees enable white people to spend four yeas of their lives reading books, writing papers and feeling great about themselves. It is a known fact that Arts students firmly believe that they are doing you/society a favor by not getting a job and reading Proust. They use this to protest for reduced tuition, more money for the arts, and special reduced student rates on things like bus passes.
But what about the white people who study Science, Engineering or Business? Unless they become doctors, they essentially lose white person status (and can only be regained by working at a non-profit).
So why would white people spend all that time studying and working to get into college if they are just going to read books that they might have read in their free time? Because white people have it made. They can take that degree and easily parlay it into a non profit job, an art gallery job, or work in publishing. If the pay is low, no problem, their parents will happily help out with rent until they magically start making six figures or non-magically turn 40.
White people can also take that degree and go to graduate school (future post) and eventually become a professor or adjunct professor where they will still require parental support.
If they are REALLY ambitious and need to make money, they can take that degree and go to Law School.
But the real reason white people need these degrees is so that they can sound smart at parties. Of course it trickles down to making connections, getting hired, knowing rich people, and so forth. But ultimately it all begins by saying “reading Henry James was the most rewarding part of undergrad.”
Using this to your advantage can be very difficult as attempts to talk about the books they skimmed while hungover can expose you. It is best to say that you were a first generation college student and your parents demanded that you study math, chemistry, economics or computer science. You had to read Joyce on your own.
Pages: « 32 … 28 27 26 25 24 [23] 22 21 20 19 18 … 1 » Show All
This posting(#47) has led me to believe I should be covered in the next installment. But forgive if its already been covered. I have just discovered this glorious blog.
Why should *I* be covered? Cause white people like me.
I am a minority from the hood. But, I am NOT a thug or especially “ghetto”. Having me as a friend allows them [White people] to have street cred and show their solidarity with the plight of the minority, without all the nasty business of actually having a murdering drug dealing acquaintance named June-Bug or something. It’s like being friends with Bodie without the possibility of being killed [see #85 The Wire]. It’s modern day slumming. Find a non-threatening minority raised in the streets that has been “enlightened” [ Stumptown coffee in portland anyone?... oooohhh Im goood! ] and share your new friend with all your white friends and you are lifted to the status of Alpha Cultural Hipster Extraordinaire! But here is the kicker and the thing that brings my point full circle to this posting… I have an art degree!
White people freakin love me!!!
Oh, and Im not joking. My paintings can be seen here:
http://blog.jerardestudio.com/
Peace out cracka’s!
LMAO, epic.
I am replying to my own statement as a preemptive response…
yes I realize the article specifically discusses Liberal Arts. But I would argue that Hipsters and Yuppies, Im sorry… White People… like actual ART degrees even more.
[...] an ang moh. I will be at my unpaid internship from 10 to 6, and then going to a two-hour journalism ethics class. Boy, do I miss Singapore right now. Photo via [...]
Wow, so my engineering degree makes me LESS white? Sweet!
Makes me wanna go solder something or write some pseudocode. Woot.
Frankly, I think it’s rather retarded to assume people aren’t “following their dreams” when they get a business, MIS, nursing, etc. degree. I want to travel (so white, I know), but how the hell can I afford that when I’m trying to whore my “insightful” paintings out to yuppies? (Which is funny cause it’s people they don’t aspire to be like)
Sorry I have to wait to be able to afford to go to Europe.
seems like this guy is just full of angst, and perhaps has even taken a “white person degree” for him/herself. quit wasting your fucking time trying to sound smart and having management and science majors sucking your dick for making fun of arts students. i bet it feels goo though, especially when your self esteem is at an all-time low after having failed out of your very own liberal arts degree. get a real fucking job you retard.
i feel like you are looking at my life when you are writing these blogs and this one really hits home. i spent 5 years in college. started as business major, then liberal arts major, but ending up with a degree in studio art – concentration on pottery. got married to a girl who had the same degree but in painting. we soon had kids and realized that there was no way in hell to support our family. we worked as graphic designers for some time but felt that our creativity was being zapped by the “man.” so i’m now a law enforcement officer and she takes care of babies.
love your blog. keep it up.
gabe
(art degree, wrigley attendee, friends with gays and asians, and more or less guilty of 90% of your list)
p.s. one difference – we did have to pay for our degrees by working odd jobs and taking loans that we will never pay off but somehow i don’t think that really contradicts any of your points.
This remains my favorite on the list only because I fail to understand how paying hundreds of dollars to take “Arthurian Legends”could ever be considered useful in the “real world” unless the “real world” was taken over by D&D enthusiasts. God fucking dammit. If English is a legitimate and useful degree (and couldn’t buy me hundreds of dollars of whiskey and likely a two story house in Ecuador) than I’m the fucking pope. Spend your parents’ money and get me a nose job instead of analyzing Shakepeare for the love of fucking god. I’m sorry I can’t take it.
How do you like being the man vs being zapped by the man?
hey ade, womyns studies ?? haha
This article is great. Lots of biting sarcasm that nonetheless hold some truths behind it.
I’m not white nor did I attend school for white degrees (mine were in Finance and Management) but I certainly saw a lot of what this article describes.
The reasons students pick Liberal Arts degrees are as follows:
a) bar none they’re the easiest degrees out there. I had to take about 12 LA courses during my degree and they were by far the easiest classes to finish. Compare that with my Finance classes and we’ll see which ones tougher. Bullshi++ing through ten page papers was much easier to do than to take my hard core Finance exams. I mean come on, if most university jocks pick LA degrees that has to tell you something about how difficult they truly are.
b) it’s true, most students who pick them know they’ll always have a backup in life. Whether it’s through their parents or through their future spouse, “Anthropology” can be easily be picked because said student will always have someone else to support them. It’s why like 90% of LA students (at least in my school) were girls because they know their future husbands will be the ones with the steady career, while they’ll easily be housewives/moms.
c) there’s always the backup of a Masters too. Who cares what Bachelors you take when “apparently” Masters are where it’s important. Once these LA grads realize their degree only gets them jobs as a bank teller or secretary, they decide it’s because they need a Masters in their useless degree. And the cycle continues from there.
While I am guilty of having an arts degree, and I loooove this blog…I have to disagree that my English degree was one of the easiest. I often found myself doing way MORE and way more DIFFICULT work than many of my friends with other “real” degrees. English professors are assholes, period. LOL
As an actual art student, I find this one particularly funny in the context of prior-degree holding adults who feel the need to get a generic art degree. Successful 40+ men and women who have a degree in business or law or something who decide to stroke their ego by going after a BA in a conceptual art school.
As opposed to stroking ones ego as an actual art student?
This website is HILARIOUS! I am realizing I am a way too uptight white person! Funny thing is I appropriately “lived in New York for five years”. I was making a six figure salary, but I lost my job, living back home with my parents in Scranton, and I’m piss poor, so I can’t afford my white stuff anymore!
Beautiful.
Pages: « 32 … 28 27 26 25 24 [23] 22 21 20 19 18 … 1 » Show All