#47 Arts Degrees
February 1, 2008 by clander
When white people go away to college, they tend to study what are knowns as the Arts. This includes actual Art, English, History, Classics, and Philosophy. These can of course be broken down further into Film, Womyn’s Studies (yes the spelling is correct), Communications, Gender Studies, and so forth. It is important to note that a high percentage of white people also get degrees in Political Science, which is pretty much like arts, and only seems to have the word “science” in it to make white people feel better about themselves.
These degrees enable white people to spend four yeas of their lives reading books, writing papers and feeling great about themselves. It is a known fact that Arts students firmly believe that they are doing you/society a favor by not getting a job and reading Proust. They use this to protest for reduced tuition, more money for the arts, and special reduced student rates on things like bus passes.
But what about the white people who study Science, Engineering or Business? Unless they become doctors, they essentially lose white person status (and can only be regained by working at a non-profit).
So why would white people spend all that time studying and working to get into college if they are just going to read books that they might have read in their free time? Because white people have it made. They can take that degree and easily parlay it into a non profit job, an art gallery job, or work in publishing. If the pay is low, no problem, their parents will happily help out with rent until they magically start making six figures or non-magically turn 40.
White people can also take that degree and go to graduate school (future post) and eventually become a professor or adjunct professor where they will still require parental support.
If they are REALLY ambitious and need to make money, they can take that degree and go to Law School.
But the real reason white people need these degrees is so that they can sound smart at parties. Of course it trickles down to making connections, getting hired, knowing rich people, and so forth. But ultimately it all begins by saying “reading Henry James was the most rewarding part of undergrad.”
Using this to your advantage can be very difficult as attempts to talk about the books they skimmed while hungover can expose you. It is best to say that you were a first generation college student and your parents demanded that you study math, chemistry, economics or computer science. You had to read Joyce on your own.
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I’m Asian & I just switched from Human Bio to Dance.
So now I’m a Premed Dance major….yeah I’m pretty much white on the inside…
Lol and philosophy
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
Great idea getting a liberal arts education!
[...] #47 Arts degrees [...]
HAH! Who’s the douche that got all upset because he was majoring in Philosophy!?
Oh. That was me.
I still am, too.
And Math.
But look.
Finance is useless in many situations.
)
Engineering is useless in many situations.
English Education is useless in virtually every situation.
Art History is ALWAYS useless (unless your white
You know what’s especially useless? Business Management.
A decent kid with an MBA comes out working a dead end management job for some corporation like McDonalds or Hollywood Video. At best he’ll work for Xerox, Apple (oooh, exciting), or Global Consolidated Resources.
A decent kid with a Philosophy Degree can expect to get into a decent grad school and get a decent job as a Professor. While he or she is in Grad School they get great heads up on other White people majoring in English Literature by saying they are working towards their Philosophy PhD. Then they can proceed to sit there and act like they’re actually interested in hearing some ditzy lit major talk about how great Nietzsche or Sartre are. (“They’re like, so Existential!” “Uh, yeah, they were…Existentialists…”)
you are doing that thing white people do to make themselves feel better about themselves.
and my white neighbor is majoring in philosophy and math too while also stating these are the two most useful subjects ever. originality is hard to come by these days.
I know, but if I cared that much, would I leave my full name and email?
What the world really needs is an entire generation of college students that only aspire to become professors or lawyers.
Man, I wish I had a degree in Philosophy so I could be the next Socrates. What am I supposed to do with this friggin Finance degree?
muahaha, my philosophy degree trumps your finance. Fear my encyclopedic knowledge of obscure thinkers.
This blog has to be written by some self-hating white person!
I guess some might find this humorous, but for me I find it insulting and degrading!
I for one don’t hate myself because I’m white, as a matter of fact I’m proud of my race and the accomplishments that we have achieved and I have no feelings of guilt over a past I had nothing to do with!
Live Long And Prosper!
There’s no need for you to be offended as Vulcans are not white. Your people fall somewhere on the spectrum between “swarthy” and “mod”.
That is because white people like getting offended. See #101
I have found it hilarious how some of the same people that boast how their liberal arts educations make them critical thinkers seem to disprove their thesis in the same breath.
A paraphrased example: “This article sucks. What do you mean getting a liberal arts education is stupid? I got mine and it made me a critical thinker!” It obviously didn’t help your reading comprehension.
Yep. I have a Liberal Arts English Degree. I got it under the false premise that my critical thinking skills would make me an excellent employee.
“Once you have a liberal arts backing, and can reason critically, you can learn anything in the world, and on the job.”
Yeah, but who’s going to hire you if they have to train you?
The point of an English degree (for me) was not to read the actual literature, but to use the literature as a vessel for inter-disciplinary studies.
Yep. I’m that white.
Time to go back to grad school and pick up another degree so I can be an adjunct professor.
I wish I were joking.
Cute!!
[...] Tags Tara Donovan , Filed under: Funny #47 Arts Degrees [...]
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