#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
February 3, 2008 by clander
White people need organic food to survive, and where they purchase this food is as important as what they purchase. In modern white person culture, Whole Foods has replaces churches and cathedrals as the most important and relevant buildings in the community.
There are some regions that do not have Whole Foods, but do have an abundance of white people (college towns), in these situations Whole Foods can be substituted with a local co-op grocery store where you have to pay a membership to shop there.
All of these stores are pretty much the same – lots of vegetables, grain fed free range meat and eggs, and soy everything. They are also characterized by an outrageously large section of vitamins, supplements, and natural oils. There are natural, handmade soaps which give these stores a unique and uniform smell.
Many white people consider shopping at Whole Foods to be a religious experience, allowing them feel good about their consumption. The use of paper bags, biodegradable packaging, and the numerous pamphlets outlining the company’s police on hormones, genetically modified food and energy savings. This is in spite of the fact that Whole Foods is a profit driven-publicly traded corporation that has wisely discovered that making white people feel good about buying stuff is outrageously profitable.
As you walk through Whole Foods/Co-op you will see white people pushing carts buying things like Flaxseed Oil, wine, Tofu versions of meat, and organic kohlrabi. They also provide prepared foods, that single white people often purchase to avoid cooking.
This is important information, as this section of the store is loaded with single white people.
These stores are excellent for bringing children, as there is nothing that they actually want.
“Oh, mommy, look chocolate!”
“No Joshua, that’s carob.”
“I want it.”
“Ok.”
The child will then take a bite and realize that nothing in the store can be trusted.
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Who cares about organic anything? The human race needs to evolve to eat inorganic…how else are we to endure?
um, people who don’t want to eat pesticides and other poisons care about eating organic. Do you even know what it means to be organic? Don’t answer that…i honestly don’t care.
What? Are we supposed to eat rocks now? That’s it, I am totally done with “health foods!” You know, there is a Jack n the Crack right near the local Whole Foods; I am now officially naming the Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger my Food of Protest. My colon and heart will hate me–but my spirit will live on in the dank breeze that exits my cornholio!
Down with health foods and rocks. Let the health nuts beware: The Foul Stench of Freedom is upon them! We will not eat rocks (or crappy rice cakes, damn it)!
once again…another idiot! The stores sell cookies, crackers, chips, milk, anything you can buy in a crappy grocery store you can buy in Whole Foods…..diffenence…the ingredients. You will find actual food ingredients instead of a bunch of chemical compounds created in a lab to be shelf stable. You should be able to pronounce ingredients ( example: wheat, sugar, cocoa, butter, etc) instead of modified food starch, sulfites, hydrogenated oil. This is not food. YOu can eat non food crap, but I’d rather eat food thank you.
Your colon and heart aren’t just going to hate you…they will just quit working. So eat away..hope it’s worth your life.
You don’t have to have a membership to shop at co-ops. You just get perks if you do buy one.
Also, I have to say how much I sometimes hate die hard Whole Foods shoppers. I’m probably even more white for saying this, but WF is still industrial agriculture people! Local and sustainable (not necessarily organic which is often over rated and just a label from corporate American government anyway) trumps all else! Go for the co-op!
>.> I think that’s enough from me for one night.
Indeed! And, ironically, White People’s beloved Whole Foods actively crushes local, sustainable farmer’s markets and co-ops!
Then again, White People also love irony–see entry #50.
what a bunch of crap! Where is it exactly that you get your information again? It just so happens Whole Foods actively supports local farmers. Have you been in the stores at all? You will find “Buy Local” signs all over their stores!!!! They buy from local farmers and promote these items. It helps keep food cost down instead of paying a million dollars in gas to transport it. You people could at least do your research before you start spouting off a bunch of crap you don’t know crap about!
Most people wouldn’t even know what farmers’ markets were if it weren’t for whole foods. Therefore, it actually supports them.
Or as we call it in the office….”Whole Paycheck”. White people love paying $8.99 for a $4.99 6 pack of microbrew.
While I try to buy from local, independent grocery stores and generally avoid Whole Paycheck (dude, everybody calls it that) like the plague, when I’ve gone there, I’ve found their microbrew prices were pretty good.
And, seriously, if you can find a 4.99 6-pack of any good microbrew, share.
(For the record, I am not white. LIVING PROOF OF THIS SITE’S TRUTH!)
Please tell me where you are buying microbrew for such reasonable prices.
Don’t confuse the word white with the word rich. Some of us are simply trying to improve the quality of our lives, at any cost!
Soooo funny. Is “re-useable shopping bags” on here yet? Whole Foods is a perfect segue to this great white phenomenon.
I’m glad you find trying to save the planet funny. Do you know anything about how those plastic bags will stay in landfills FOREVER or do you just comment on stuff you don’t know shit about? All they’re trying to do is save the planet for our kids, their kids, etc. Guess you don’t think about that. You think you are the only important person here and this earth is going to be around forever…..think again. Do you read the paper or watch the news at all? At this moment there is a plastic floating island in the middle of the ocean twice the size of Texas!!! Look it up online, it’s not hard to find. Imagine this going on for another 20 years. There will be no ocean left….only plastic bags.
that’s right cut down on the waste buy a pile of re-useable made in china grocery bags, i’m not against less plastic, i’m just for less everything!
yeah, it’s the white people that will save this planet for your kids. Meanwhile you sit around and talk a bunch of crap you clearly don’t know anything about. You can thank us later for saving your sorry lazy way of thinking.
I have an “organic garden” (we used to call this a “garden”) and supplement that with purchases walked home in my re-usable backpack from the (employee-owned) corporate grocery whore eight blocks down the street.
My carbon footprint is smaller than yours. Also, my cock is bigger. Choke on that, whitey.
Oh go hug a tree for crying out loud. You’re the main culprits who helped f it up so quiturbitcchin.
Anybody got any styrofoam for sale–brb I’m going to get more hairspray.
bwwahhhahahahahahhaaaa
Whole Foods is way yesterday,
Nowadays white people like Trader’s Joes. Much cheaper, just as good food. White people especially like 2 Buck Chuck red wine.
I know because I speak for all white people everywhere.
By the way, pull up your pants, they’re way too low.
oh is that why they are opening stores all over the world? Because they are so yesterday? Just because you don’t shop there doesn’t mean it’s yesterday. Besides that – have you seen all of the other chain stores start bringing in natural and organic products…..gee, I wonder where they got that idea! They only copied whole foods because they saw the trend. Wal Mart and Central Market jumped on the band wagon so fast. Have you noticed that a lot of new stores ( especially Central Market) are practically identical to WF’s? You don’t usually copy people when they are over. The only difference is WM and CM don’t know shit about organics. They just copy.
I support your theory on 2 buck chuck. My friend got married last month somewhere in bumblefuckit Georgia and I was forced to travel 3 hours to the nearest Whole Foods to procure 3 cases of it for the reception. White people are devoted to the chuck…
I like 2 buck red wine…If I pull my pants up any higher the blood circulation to my penis will be cut completely. A nil erection effect..Is that a white person thing and can I trust those Viagra emails I receive to deliver the goods?
Buy organic tomatoes and normal and try them together. Then decide if the organic is worth it…
you can totally taste the difference and know its w/o GMO. isnt that worth it?
No. If a tomato costs $1.17 and is pumped full of chemicals, and an ‘organic’ one costs $2.50 and is chemical-free, I’ll buy the chemical loaded one and feel good about being on top of the food chain.
You know, where we can modify food with gene manipulation to grow the way -we- want. I’ll take that over leaving it to nature…
natural selection, eat up my friend, more organics for us in the end!
I was going to suggest Whole Foods, and low and behold, you already had it! This blog rocks.
OMG CAROB!!!
Been there, been tricked, spit that shit out!
people who eat organic food don’t realize that eating organic takes jobs away from immigrants
the frozen organic veggies are made in china! just saying…how about growing in US and lower cost b/c of transportation and wasted energy?
More importantly, people eating “organic” food have obviously never worked on the average farm and realize that it is near impossible to fund an organic farm without HUGE market entry costs.
once again real live farmer from a real live average farm here who eats organic food and buys piles of chemicals and fertilizers, it is nearly impossible to fund any type of farm, look at your subsidy programs down there.
that is ridiculous!!!! Organic Farms have workers on them to genious. Where the hell do you think they grow that stuff. Try all over the world. You should know what you’re talking about before you leave comments that make you sound dumb and uneducated.
Are you white?
Please clarify Josh.
Many organic are fair trade companies pay FAIR wages to thise less fortunate in other companies. Besides why shouldn’t we support American family owned organic farms that have been in businesses for decades? Also, the majority of farming and agricultural communities employ immigrants
How? Organic farms need workers, too — in some cases, more workers than non-organic farms. More jobs, not fewer!
Why do white people like 9 dollar macaroni and cheese from whole foods?
i hate some wf customers!!! i have to know cause i work there. so fucking spoiled and demanding! chill out a little. just b/c we are out of stock on freaking liver cod oil doesnt mean you have the right to yell at me. and just b/c we dont have the right clementines in stock doesnt mean i am worthless to you! get laid before you come in the store. maybe then you start smiling back! just saying. i love wf. love what we stand for and love looking out for our community…but man…
Do you understand what’s going on with the food it has nothing to do with white people look up GMO’s and the dangerous effects that it can cause to your body. Search the connection of the GMO’s where do they come from be aware. Look up neurotoxins (MSG) which these stores and your local grocery stores carry also. Think to yourself why would someone pay more for certain foods. Were all one we need to work together instead of apart. Be an informed consumer. UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE.
I shop at WF and mac n cheese costs less than $3.00. Oh, I am not white, nor obese and have no health issues and that is why I , along with many other HUMANS shop at WF. You should try it!
Because though Wal*Mart does many of the same things as Whole Foods, Wal*Mart’s low prices attract poor people (of any ethnicity, especially the Wrong Kind Of White People). Whole Foods’ high prices keep the Right Kind of People walking through the door. It makes shopping more enjoyable for them.
dude, i always thought that veggie is organic. how foolish i am. I grew up in a culture where families have gardens and grew lots of veggie. Mom and dad still up at 6 on weekends to tend garden. ma and pa’s veggie consisted of 50% of each meal. And because (asian immigrants) eat mostly “organic” food we are shorter than other ethnic groups, yes that’s include white folks too. And since 2nd generation immigrants starting eating “non-organic” american food, we got bigger and taller- the average american-born asian man is 6 ft vs their parents generation 5’4″. intake of organic or non orgainc food is relative. the key is eating healthy in preparation and balance quanity.
It has nothing to do with organic food, and everything to do with protein. and it’s not just Asians, it’s southern Europeans, native south american, etc.
But, this is a timing thing. Immigrants have grown larger than their parents, and until recently supermarket food has been relatively very good for you. But in the last 10+ years it has steadily gotten worse, and food that in excess can be bad, like red meat, has gotten cheaper. so you are now seeing these same family lines have spawned large children with excessive heart disease and diabetes that the previous generations didn’t have.
everyone, not just white people, have to be active and demand better food quality. Not sure why this is a white peoples’ thing in this article, most of the groovy people that run the coop in Atlanta happen not to be white. but yes, there is a much greater percentage of wealthy white people than others in the US so Whole Foods probably does target them hardest.
You mean Asians who have abandoned traditional meals filled with rice and vegetables and embraced the American diet have waists that are 6ft right? Also getting up at 6am for some fruitful labor (hah, a pun) is also totally un-American, crazy immigrants.
Like I said previously, anyone who shops at WF for organic food obviously isn’t a farmer.
here’s a farmer who shops at whole foods, and the best part is we eat organic and farm conventionally, yay spray!
I can assure you, there are very few people in America with 6ft waists too.
Umm… the average American-born Asian man is NOT 6 ft. I can promise you this.
Actually, it’s more like 4 boxes for $5 which is not much more than Kraft. If you want to know what the difference is, read the lists of ingredience and compare, then you will know why some of us are willing to pay a few cents more.
I pooped my pants
Because at $9.00 it must be better then the $2.50 stuff from ordinary food stores because you can tell your friends it’s from whole foods. Same ingredients but more natural because you are paying three times as much.
Well …. If you must know, from the white guys perspective: First realize that food does not scale. Realizing that, ask yourself how much money enough cheese to make a mac and cheese would cost, then figure the materials cost on $2.50 is about $0.50.
A quick product list will tell you that the only food products that you could package for that price incluce processed things like high fructose corn syrup and the like.
Now as a guy who works in Medicine, Here are some facts, that are basically common sense: Eating processed food is roughly as likely to kill you via heart disease then smoing is via lung cancer.
It doesnt make any difference what so ever if you buy it at whole foods or safeway, but a $2 box of Mac and cheese is awful for your health. Meanwhile, enough real cheese to serve 2 in a mac n cheese costs about $4, and noodles another $1.
or just don’t eat mac and cheese, if you care about being healthy.
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