#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
February 3, 2008 by clander
White people need organic food to survive, and where they purchase this food is as important as what they purchase. In modern white person culture, Whole Foods has replaces churches and cathedrals as the most important and relevant buildings in the community.
There are some regions that do not have Whole Foods, but do have an abundance of white people (college towns), in these situations Whole Foods can be substituted with a local co-op grocery store where you have to pay a membership to shop there.
All of these stores are pretty much the same – lots of vegetables, grain fed free range meat and eggs, and soy everything. They are also characterized by an outrageously large section of vitamins, supplements, and natural oils. There are natural, handmade soaps which give these stores a unique and uniform smell.
Many white people consider shopping at Whole Foods to be a religious experience, allowing them feel good about their consumption. The use of paper bags, biodegradable packaging, and the numerous pamphlets outlining the company’s police on hormones, genetically modified food and energy savings. This is in spite of the fact that Whole Foods is a profit driven-publicly traded corporation that has wisely discovered that making white people feel good about buying stuff is outrageously profitable.
As you walk through Whole Foods/Co-op you will see white people pushing carts buying things like Flaxseed Oil, wine, Tofu versions of meat, and organic kohlrabi. They also provide prepared foods, that single white people often purchase to avoid cooking.
This is important information, as this section of the store is loaded with single white people.
These stores are excellent for bringing children, as there is nothing that they actually want.
“Oh, mommy, look chocolate!”
“No Joshua, that’s carob.”
“I want it.”
“Ok.”
The child will then take a bite and realize that nothing in the store can be trusted.
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I just really loathe Whole Foods. I’m a fourth generation (white!) SF native and Whole Foods took stuff that was good and actually affordable and jacked the prices up way higher than they needed to be. And then they made it look all pretty and “green”. PUHleez. I may be white but I’m not falling for that white trick.
It’s all about the Berkeley Bowl…
If someone wrote a blog or kept a site called “Stuff Black people like” they’d be crucified. How do people get away with stuff like this? It only perpetuates the hard lines of racial tension drawn by years of ignorance and intolerance. I’m white and my sister is black. We have yet to understand what is so different, because for us there is no difference. It’s just skin people! She loves Whole Foods. I prefer Super Target. Go figure.
[...] #48 – Whole Foods [...]
The thing that is kinda sad is this…
I don’t eat healthily because I’m white – or wealthy. I’ve had the benefit of a decent education, and was raised by somewhat health-conscious parents. I don’t want to get cancer from pesticides and herbicides; I don’t want to develop diabetes or heart disease. I choose foods that will help avoid these things. There is a HUGE health disparity in the U.S., largely deliniated by race (maybe more accurate to say by economic class). Much of it has to do with a lack of education about diet – though things like access to health care and toxic waste disposal in poor areas are significant factors, too.
I get it’s satire. But the inaccuracy really highlights more about our society and it’s economic disparities than racial traits or disparities.
I thought they renamed this Whole Paycheck.
Sorry – that’s obtuse. But when I can go to Sam’s Club and buy four gallons of skim milk for the price of two at WF, well, then I’m going to Sam’s. Hormones shmormones.
I get the humor…but there’s also an underlying issue that makes Whole Foods a necessary stop on my circuit. I do belong to a local CSA, and shop the farmer’s market. Being located in Baltimore, we have great local farms offering everything from free-range poultry & meats…to fresh milk, eggs & cheese. When you actually research to large commercial counterparts to these items, you don’t want to consume them. My son has life threatening food allergies and we have to purchase alternative dairy items, that would bankrupt us if we had to buy them in the local grocery store. Soy milk is $1.00 more in Safeway than in WF. Soy butter 150% more. Cereal, more than $1.- more than in WF & Trader Joe’s. Responding to the person that said that people don’t understand the chemistry of foods, they must be ignorant of the industry. I am a nutritionist and have studied the effects of artificial ingredients on our bodies. There has been irrefutable evidence that artificial colors have a negative effect on children with ADHD and Autism. People need to start making a concerted effort to read & understand their food. While I did see a woman at WF, wearing a fur coat, and obnoxiously large pearl earrings, purchasing $100.- worth of prepared foods on a dinner for two people…I also see many mothers in there comparing prices and looking for less harmful alternatives for children for their food.
I am glad to have WF around, as they carry many products that I can’t find elsewhere. I would prefer to live on a farm & grow all my own food…but for now, I live in Baltimore, have a modest city garden in my backyard, and frequent the farmer’s ,market. I shop at WF half of the time…I guess that’s because I’m a white woman with a black husband (who, by the way, hates going into WF!)
Peace!
I live in Baltimore, where do you find your local organic vegetables and meats? WHole foods is killing my purse!!
Now this post I don’t quite get. Organic foods are better for you, taste better, and are better for the environment. The comedy I see is the fact that rich people are the only people that can afford the healthy food. They act like poor people are stupid for not buying healthy organic foods, but they just can’t afford it.
You’re right; you don’t get it.
I’m not white and I love shopping there!
[...] was a cup of fair trade Ethiopian coffee (#1) and shopping at the non profit (#12) ANU Food Co-op (#48) for organic tempeh and the like (#6), followed by a trip to Choku Bai Jo (even whiter than the [...]
i’m white from wyoming and i think these whole foods stores are ridiculous. and they’re literally as ridiculous as this article makes them sound. funny stuff
It’s to bad that you are unable to use even the most basic grammar in your writing. I am also from Wyoming, and it’s the likes of you that give this beautiful state a bad name.
Wyoming2, you are living proof of #99 SWL.
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/
White people also like living close to nature (i.e. Wyoming) and voting for politicians who claim to hunt for their own food.
In fact, many white people like pointing out the ‘ridiculousness’ of stores like Whole Foods while happily shopping at Wal Mart and Sam’s for food…and ammo.
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