Stuff White People Like

White people hate a lot of stuff (white people who vote republican, television, Vin Diesel movies, SUVs, fast food) but every once in a while they turn that hate into sweet irony.

Often times, white people will make a joke about how hard it is to define irony.  It’s not that funny, and back in the 1990s people got all upset at Alanis Morrisette for using the term improperly in her song “Isn’t it Ironic?”

But the reason that white people love irony is that it lets them have some fun and feel better about themselves.

The most horrific recent example is Trucker hats, that shockingly went from mainstream in the 80s to Ironic in the early 2000s back to mainstream, at which point they are no longer rare or unique.  Once something reaches this stage, irony cannot be restored for 10 years.

Other examples would include white people getting together to have a ‘white trash’ night where they would eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, drink Bud Light and watch Larry the Cable Guy or The Marine. Maybe listen to Kid Rock or P.O.D.   These events allow white people to experience things they are supposed to hate, all while feeling better about their own lives, decisions, and cultured tastes.

Occassionally, white people will put an ironic knick knack in their home or apartment such as a “Support our Troops” magnet or a bottle of Mickey’s.

This can be used to your advantage.  If you need to appear cool to white people, you just need to pick something that was popular 10+ years ago and put it in a prominent place at your desk or in your home.  A C+C Music Factory Cassette, or a “2 Legit 2 Quit” t-shirt would both be acceptable examples.

Also, you might find yourself in conversation where you mention that you like something and there is an awkward silence indicating that it is not cool.  In this situation, uou must say “oh yeah, I also like [insert similar things]” and smile, the white people will laugh and all will be well.