#51 Living by the water
February 4, 2008 by clander
It is hardly a secret that all white people love being near water. And why wouldn’t they? It has so many of the activities that they love to do: swimming, kayaking, canoeing, sailing, and it’s a perfect place to read next to.
But before we move on, let’s not gloss over that last point. White people love to be near a body of water so they can read a book, while sitting nearby. The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near some water. Extreme reading!
But when you think long term, it’s important to realize that all white people either own/wish to own/plan to own/will own some sort of property near a body of water. Rather than say all white people want to live on the ocean, it’s important to break it up and apply it across the regions.
On the west coast, all white people want to live as close to the beach as possible. One look at the demographics for Manhattan Beach, Santa Monica, Hermosa Beach, Newport Beach, and Laguna Beach will reveal this fact through tangible numbers.
On the East Coast, many white people dream of owning ocean front property in New England, where they can make their lives as close as possible to a J. Crew catalog.
And in the landlocked states, the dream of lakefront property is alive and well.
It is also worth noting that often times, white people will purchase second homes near water if they cannot accommodate the dream in their own city. Often times they want to buy within driving distance, but the need for life near water is so great that they will even consider buying in other countries.
To a white person, a view of water from your house is the greatest achievement in life. And you should remember this when discussing your hopes and dreams with white people. It is also important that you choose a water sport (swimming, fishing, kayaking, etc) that you pretend to like. That way, you can talk about how when you move to your waterfront property you can just wake up in the morning and [insert outdoor activity], right from your front door.
Mountain views are also acceptable, but generally seen as a poor substitute.
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this site is f-ing hilarious mainly because most of it is true!!! i love the water and want to live by it! if someone cant see the humor in this list then they should look away!
I like how many white people are even satisfied with buying a giant $900K house made from what is essentially cardboard with no property whatsoever, as long the back yard faces some tiny man-made puddle(and of course the name ‘lakes’ fits into the community’s name).
And as a side note, I’m surprised that all things ‘EXTREME’ didn’t make the list.
I WOULDVE POOPED IF PANTS HAD A PROPER HIGH- FIBER DIET!!!
(MY),
This web site is obsurd because it only shows all of the things that EVERYONE likes…except blacks…this web site is a blight on how disconnected blacks are with popular things in society. Here’s the proof…
google: “black children can’t swim” and see what comes up.
58% of black kids can’t swim. It’s up to parents to teach them.
I’m not entirely sure if Robert12 is joking. If so – ha ha. If not, surely you recognize that one of the most interesting characteristics of white culture is that we don’t think we have a culture and we think that the stuff we like is the stuff everybody likes.
Robert12 embrace your culture!
I should have said dumping, not hiding.
DUMPING.
I don’t live by the water, but it would be handy for drowning people like you before hiding your lifeless bodies in the drink.
you don’t live by water cause you can’t afford it… save your money anyway, seems as though you might be needing bail money in your future….best of luck with that.
I live in Vancouver and I’m pretty sure it’s the whitest city in the world, even though most Vancouverites are asian.
I’ve noticed that this blog is freakishly accurate in describing Vancouver and Vancouverites. I think it’s because what he’s really describing are simply liberal, middle to upper-middle class urban West Coast young people.
OMG, so true! I live in Hawaii, and ALLLLLLLLLLL the white people live by the beach! It’s the reason why this place is so damn EXPENSIVE!!!!
I have to settle for living over an acquifer. It has nothing on an ocean, well the Pacific Ocean that is. The Atlantic is a waste of salt and space. But, still, living adjacent to water, even in an unswimable and a difficult to access kind of way, comforts me because I know that as the population increase and the temperature rises, I’ll still have the good ol’ H20.
Prey for more global warming, but 30 degrees closer to the pole-shift expected in 2012, and the Mountain states with the Great Salt Lake concerned to dry up, but more rain and then ice, you could get yourself another Caspian Sea…and the San Andreas fault produces a 10.6 tremor to sick all of California, so you all have new beachfront property. +
Isn’t everyone proud of where they come from. I also know if you guys spent as much time helping the poor as you guy’s all tend to put in these time consuming blogs then maybe you wouldn’t have as much to complain about. Who’s gonna help everyone when after all the nice people have been ganged against. You guys don’t even know who to vote for or how to impeach. I’ve never seen it done. Prove me wrong. Any of you’s. So I have an attitude maybe it’s cause the know it alls of this country have a slowitude problem and they cause all of the chaos. I would like something for once just function without a glitch. Would be nice but, I’m sure I’m in an insane dream. I’m extremely poor and guess what I’m white. Very white. This doesn’t make me different than anyone else. It certainly doesn’t make me trash and if you think so, then I pray god teaches all the people who do a hard lesson and I mean hard.It’s not my fault I’m attracted to a good looking white guy just like black girls are attracted to men of their race or vice versa and when you cross territories we’re gonna demand respeckt on all sides or else just so you know because god would expect so too. Why because you are cross marrying into our families and how would you like someone to belittle your family. In my bank account I have nothing, I don’t have a car, I don’t own a home. We rent from guess what a lady who is darker than me. Mostly I do not think this is a color problem. I feel it is a lazy inaction problem on people who won’t stop blaming each other long enough to help all the children white, asian, non-white,tribal whatever. The lord god made all things. He also chose the isrealites. Do you think it is more right to hurt others or to do unto your neighbor as you would have done unto yourself. We can’t change what is in our hearts. Whom we are programmed to love and not love it’s a fact and to deny it would just be wrong. God is love. Love is god. When you have true love god is happy. If you deny your heart well everyone knows that story =). Mexican women get more manicures and pedicures. I’ve only had like 3 my whole life and I’m 28. So, I like to go to the beach and sink my toes and body into the cold sand because it feels good. I like to listen to the waves because it helps me to have a better focus on what I need to do or what I’m thinking about. Even the ethnic girl knows more about coffee shops than I do. I like to get away and not be measured by people for something I’m not or how they’re going to attack me and judge me when they don’t even know me. Occasionally I have a drink but, that’s rare like 3 times a year. It’s mostly the summer people who come here to New England that own all those properties. The real nice local people. You don’t see them as much anymore they’re scattered. I’ve cleaned houses,babysat, drove taxi (that was hellifun), answered phones. I like lots of things oceanography, climatology, geology, music, comedy,countries,anthropology, history,architexture. One thing I don’t like and always stay away from is politics,psychology and sociology. Some big people are teddybears and then other big peolple are really unorganized and so bad that this unorganization travels throughout history making lots more little unorganizations. Not everything is unorganized.There’s lot of things we’re good at and some not and then there’s the different ways, peoples, meanings, and such that is has to flow and when it’s not directed to flow well then it affects the minds and happiness of people. That’s why i like to take time out. Fishing, computer whatever just so I can say ya my id god gave me was welch and when i leave this world I’m just a person like everyone else who was here who lived that life in a body cause it’s not like we can get out yet. My grandma recently died and this was in her poem collection. I think it is beautiful and reminds me of her Violet Rose Welch:
What do you see, nurse, what do you see?
Are you thinking when you look at me
A crabbit old woman, not very wise
Uncertain of habit with far away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice- “I’d do wish you’d try.”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe,
Who resisting or not, Lets you do as your will
With bathing and feeding the long day to fill.
Is that what you’re thinking, Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse. You’re not looking at me.
I tell you who I am as I sit here so still.
As I move at your bidding eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten a father a mother,
brothers and sisters who love one another;
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet
Dreaming that soon a lover she’ll meet;
A bride soon at twenty- My heart gives a leap
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure, happy, home.
A woman of thirty my young now grow fast
Bound together with ties that should last.
At forty, My young sons have grown up and gone
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn
At fifty once more babies play around my knee
Again we know children my loved one’s and me.
Dark days are upon me my husband is dead.
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known.
I’m an old woman and nature is cruel.
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body it crumbles, grace and vigour depart.
There is a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this carcass a young gil still dwells
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain
And I’m loving and living life over again.
I think of the years, All too few, Gone to fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see
Not a crabbit old woman, Look closer- see me!!
W
Your canadian right? do you grow pot in your backyard and say Ey alot?
I like poems.
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