#51 Living by the water
February 4, 2008 by clander
It is hardly a secret that all white people love being near water. And why wouldn’t they? It has so many of the activities that they love to do: swimming, kayaking, canoeing, sailing, and it’s a perfect place to read next to.
But before we move on, let’s not gloss over that last point. White people love to be near a body of water so they can read a book, while sitting nearby. The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near some water. Extreme reading!
But when you think long term, it’s important to realize that all white people either own/wish to own/plan to own/will own some sort of property near a body of water. Rather than say all white people want to live on the ocean, it’s important to break it up and apply it across the regions.
On the west coast, all white people want to live as close to the beach as possible. One look at the demographics for Manhattan Beach, Santa Monica, Hermosa Beach, Newport Beach, and Laguna Beach will reveal this fact through tangible numbers.
On the East Coast, many white people dream of owning ocean front property in New England, where they can make their lives as close as possible to a J. Crew catalog.
And in the landlocked states, the dream of lakefront property is alive and well.
It is also worth noting that often times, white people will purchase second homes near water if they cannot accommodate the dream in their own city. Often times they want to buy within driving distance, but the need for life near water is so great that they will even consider buying in other countries.
To a white person, a view of water from your house is the greatest achievement in life. And you should remember this when discussing your hopes and dreams with white people. It is also important that you choose a water sport (swimming, fishing, kayaking, etc) that you pretend to like. That way, you can talk about how when you move to your waterfront property you can just wake up in the morning and [insert outdoor activity], right from your front door.
Mountain views are also acceptable, but generally seen as a poor substitute.
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Does the bath tub count as a place to read by? coz I live slap bang in the middle of the city
Nope, get a swimming pool. If you got money by the stock market, running your own business or inherited cash from your parents: a “cement pond”. For the rest of us against owning stocks or bonds, work for other people and cheap as they are: a plastic pool in the back yard inflated and filled with hose water. It works…my Mom did.+
[...] nickname in high school used to be J. Crew, ’cause I lived in Vermont and there was nowhere much to shop…except out of the pages of J. Crew, which depicted the [...]
Reading by the water? I can see if you do that every once a while but if you live with a waterview, just go in the water. I’d like to live by ocean so I can swim in it.
Black folks don’t live near water because most are afraid of water, and cats, and cemetaries at night, and snakes, and on and on. Like the song says “superstition in the way…”
why not a lake, in the mountains?….
or an ocean with a mountain view? probably why Vancouver is so popular
this is completely true
but what’s wrong with the water?
Easyer to launch your bass boat thats for sure.
I like the water. Im black. But Im not about to live on top of a beach lol! This is true
If you’ve ever been to Grosse Pointe you know this is an easily observable phenomenon. Closer to lake = more expensive house.
Guilty.
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