#51 Living by the water
February 4, 2008 by clander
It is hardly a secret that all white people love being near water. And why wouldn’t they? It has so many of the activities that they love to do: swimming, kayaking, canoeing, sailing, and it’s a perfect place to read next to.
But before we move on, let’s not gloss over that last point. White people love to be near a body of water so they can read a book, while sitting nearby. The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near some water. Extreme reading!
But when you think long term, it’s important to realize that all white people either own/wish to own/plan to own/will own some sort of property near a body of water. Rather than say all white people want to live on the ocean, it’s important to break it up and apply it across the regions.
On the west coast, all white people want to live as close to the beach as possible. One look at the demographics for Manhattan Beach, Santa Monica, Hermosa Beach, Newport Beach, and Laguna Beach will reveal this fact through tangible numbers.
On the East Coast, many white people dream of owning ocean front property in New England, where they can make their lives as close as possible to a J. Crew catalog.
And in the landlocked states, the dream of lakefront property is alive and well.
It is also worth noting that often times, white people will purchase second homes near water if they cannot accommodate the dream in their own city. Often times they want to buy within driving distance, but the need for life near water is so great that they will even consider buying in other countries.
To a white person, a view of water from your house is the greatest achievement in life. And you should remember this when discussing your hopes and dreams with white people. It is also important that you choose a water sport (swimming, fishing, kayaking, etc) that you pretend to like. That way, you can talk about how when you move to your waterfront property you can just wake up in the morning and [insert outdoor activity], right from your front door.
Mountain views are also acceptable, but generally seen as a poor substitute.
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rivers! most cities have been built around rivers.
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This is awesome. So true. My parents just bought a place on the lake for these exact reasons
I like the idea of living next to water, but don’t like dealing with flooding, erosion, hurricanes, etc. Used to live next to a creek that would flood in the spring, and occasionaly take the road with it…
For me those are places to visit, not live.
So true, as a white person I desperately want to live near a lake. There’s something serene about it.
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
Die in a fire, thank you.
You are hilarious. ROFL
I don’t know if anyone from Hawaii has mentioned this…. But I think this observation is spot on! Many coastal areas (KAILUA, HAWAII KAI, HALEIWA-NORTH SHORE) on Oahu are DENSELY populated by white people. It appears to be a matter of having $$$ and a support system. If you go to Ted’s Bakery out in sunset you will find a bumper sticker over the entrance that reads “HAOLEWOOD” basically stating that the white people have landed.
Thats not a white thing-thats a people thing. Modern sources of food are relatively new. For most of history, people have depended on the land they lived on to survive. Bodies of water are an excellent source of food, so we’re genetically disposed to want to live near them.
You know, as a white person I would probably rank this as number one (followed of course by traveling.) Oceanfront views are everything a person could ask for in a house in my opinion.
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
spammer, f**k off
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