#51 Living by the water
February 4, 2008 by clander
It is hardly a secret that all white people love being near water. And why wouldn’t they? It has so many of the activities that they love to do: swimming, kayaking, canoeing, sailing, and it’s a perfect place to read next to.
But before we move on, let’s not gloss over that last point. White people love to be near a body of water so they can read a book, while sitting nearby. The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near some water. Extreme reading!
But when you think long term, it’s important to realize that all white people either own/wish to own/plan to own/will own some sort of property near a body of water. Rather than say all white people want to live on the ocean, it’s important to break it up and apply it across the regions.
On the west coast, all white people want to live as close to the beach as possible. One look at the demographics for Manhattan Beach, Santa Monica, Hermosa Beach, Newport Beach, and Laguna Beach will reveal this fact through tangible numbers.
On the East Coast, many white people dream of owning ocean front property in New England, where they can make their lives as close as possible to a J. Crew catalog.
And in the landlocked states, the dream of lakefront property is alive and well.
It is also worth noting that often times, white people will purchase second homes near water if they cannot accommodate the dream in their own city. Often times they want to buy within driving distance, but the need for life near water is so great that they will even consider buying in other countries.
To a white person, a view of water from your house is the greatest achievement in life. And you should remember this when discussing your hopes and dreams with white people. It is also important that you choose a water sport (swimming, fishing, kayaking, etc) that you pretend to like. That way, you can talk about how when you move to your waterfront property you can just wake up in the morning and [insert outdoor activity], right from your front door.
Mountain views are also acceptable, but generally seen as a poor substitute.
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I’m white and I prefer to live by the nearest strip club.
If it’s near the water, then all the better.
Or if the water has Playmate only nude beaches.
I can one-up that: I was born in a hospital by the water!
Many generation X white people were born in a bathtub by a hippy mother, and the father is like “Welcome, man, you are the water child Aquarius Moonbeam”. No wonder we’re bitter at our folks, yet we should be glad our parents didn’t want to pay big bucks or doped with drugs (mom is on morphine) to have us, “Aquarius Moonbeam Rainbow”. +
This site is crap
Isn’t this just a logistic thing? Only white people can afford to buy property near water.
Mountain views? Second best? Speak for yourself, kimosabe . . . Oh, wait. I’m an engineer educated at a public university who lives in an arid climate and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about assists. I’m not White, never mind.
So, is this why w.p. like wearing flip-flops so much?
To keep re-living their beach/lake/water expereince even when they’re miles away from a body of water?
[...] Living by the Water [...]
Living in the sands…not on the beach, but the American desert. The fastest growing population in US history was in the Southwest, thanks to sun-worshipping retirees who can’t stand the snow every winter. Palm Springs is where the former Orange Coast people moved to in the 1990s.+
Hamptons, Shmamptons. New England is the shizit. Try “The Vineyard,” or any of the down-east Maine Islands. Cain’t get much whiter than that. And, there’s even the “Ink Well” in Oak Bluffs, to make us knee-jerk liberal white folk feel less racist.
How can the Hamptons be the shit? Going on about 20 years now the place is overrun with Jews!
Once maybe, but when you get NY jews all over, the the original attraction of the place diminishes for White people.
Screw the Hamptons (or the Jews), head down to Palm Springs where in 20 years the Cahuilla Indian tribe will get back the land after the “75-year lease” is over. N.Y. Jews are freely welcomed to Palm Springs, since we welcomed every race (and even more gays) to live there. LOL! +
Hey – the hamptons and New england rock – that’s the best part of living in the North East. I can be in the Hamptons on Monday, and in Naragansett or Newport the next day. Love our side of the continent.
Living next to water is a load of crap. If you live in the L.A. area the water is literally full of crap. Who wants to live near a bay sized toilet? In the mountains of CA, all the good bodies of water are packed with tourists for a good chunk of the year. Who wants all that noise and extra traffic? For this white boy, the best place to live is in a massive Las Vegas suite, way up on the top floor of a decent casino hotel. I’d rarely leave the building because I’d have everything I need inside. If I really wanted to look at some body of water I’d put the travel channel on my wall sized display and get as real as I want to be. Then I’d go back to watching what all white boys love: Life sized porno!
Dude!! I could live at Caesar’s. literally.
Italian coffee every morning at Rao’s, poolside by day, quick lunch at Bobby Flay’s, tons of gambling, sports book in late p.m. to catch the 7 p.m. games (eastern), fantastic dinners, free lounge shows, more cocktails……thrown in a gym session every other day!
Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas? Cool, but when the summer comes, take a flight north to Reno, the “biggest little town”. I’m hoping Lake Tahoe remains a crystal clear lake, when the tourists are not in town, polluting it with boat exhaust. +
“To a white person, a view of water from your house is the greatest achievement in life.”
Well said, it is all about being in beautiful surroundings that you can identify with!
From watching “empty-v” cribs, it appears that all black musicians and athletes aspire to own a huge suburban tract home in the middle of nowhere and fill every room with massive televisions.
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