A lot of cultures love dogs – be it for entertainment, labor, or other. But white people love dogs on an entirely different level.
It should be understood that in white culture, dogs are considered training for having children. That is to say that any white couple must get a dog before they have kids. This will prepare them for responsibility by having another creature to feed, supervise it’s bathroom activities, and to love. Because of this, white people generally assume that their dog is their favorite child unless otherwise stated.
When actual children are born, the dog is not displaced but rather remains as the most important member of the household. This is because of the fact that white children will eventually hate their parents, but dogs will love anyone who feeds them.
White people generally believe that dogs have human emotions and that they are capable of loving certain TV shows, films, and music. “Buster just loves watching Six Feet Under!” Even though most dogs would enjoy watching Hitler if he were getting attention every time it came on the TV.
They also believe that their dogs share similar tastes in food – “Little Ben Kweller likes the Organic food the best.” Forgetting the fact that dogs enjoy eating their own feces, and pretty much anything that falls onto the floor.
When searching for homes, many white people will require large yards so that their “dog can run around.” If you work in real estate, this can be exploited for large markups when selling to white people.
It is also a proven fact, that dogs are often used by white people to attract members of the opposite sex. Bringing a puppy or dog to a local dog park, will encourage interaction and conversation. Even more so than a Mac Laptop.
If white people are ever talking about their dogs, it is essential that you reassure them that their dogs are absolutely special and unique. That they are being properly cared for, and that treating like children is the only way to care for a pet. Under no circumstance EVER should you say anything that is derogatory towards dogs, critical of spoiling dogs, or that they are not full members of society who deserve the same rights as humans. Doing any of these three things will completely destroy all relationships you might have had with a white person.
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When I saw the photo attached to this entry, I almost aspirated on my own vomit. This is why “My Space” needs to be banned.
Why do white people feel the need to bring their dogs with them when they run their errands? I don’t travel with my 2 turtles or my 3 cats (YES, I am crazy cat lady – but I am married and my husband loves our cats, too).
My husband wants a dog, a potcake (look it up), so that he can “bring it places with him”. WHY? WHY that need? I don’t get it!
Also, I have given out birthday cards signed from the cats.
–Kidless and staying that way in Minnesota
SOME Black people have a history with dogs in this country, that is tenuous at best. Some Black people have low opinions of dogs because they were used to brutalize them and hunt them down during the Civil Rights Movement and in Slavery, respectively. I’ve heard a similar sentiment from several Black South Africans, who were attached by German Shepards during Apartheid demonstrations.
Not ALL Black people think it’s okay to dog-fight, and treat your dog like an object, or a toy that gets thrown away when you’re bored with it. It depends on how you are raised. I was raised in the suburbs, where pretty much everyone had a dog, or even multiple ones. They still do, in fact. In a predominately Black neighborhood. I have a Yorkie, and yes, when it’s cold, she wears a sweater. We have rugs all over the house for her, because she refuses to lay directly on the floor, or even the carpet. She needs her own “place”, and we give it to her. I’m with White people on this one, dogs do deserve to be treated like family. My parents had a Daschund when I was growing up, and he was like my brother. We used to watch tv together. He kept me company and watched over the house when they were away.
The aforementioned generalization about Black people and dogs is frankly just not accurate. AS are most generalizations made about Black people, by NON-Black people.
I’m not racist. I think people ar eindividuals and make their own way.
I am 27. I live in the north. I live in the suburbs with some very “white” black people who are sick of other black people in our age bracket blaming their issues on slavery or the civil rights movement. NONE OF YOU LIVED THROUGH EITHER OF THEM. Stop blaming you issues on things that you dod not experience and start looking for the real causes.
The first one that I can see: Per Barak Obama, black men need to step up to the plate and start being fathers to their children. A positive male role model will be an excellent place to start.
No stereotype holds up across the board.
The fact that people take this seriously is just hilarious.
Watching people get angy is the most valuable part of this blog.
some of the posts, I don’t think whites like thr subject more than other group (like divorce) but DOGs for sure!!!!! LOL 250lb dog in studio apartment.
I love this site, but must share my own experience as a dog lover/owner who is White. (When I actually crowned from my mother’s vagina, my father was at the veterinarian’s office getting the Poodles vaccinated. Mother was knocked out: That’s how they did it in 1967). It has been my experience that dogs do not eat their own feces, but rather, dine on the family cat’s feces from the litter box. Eating your own feces? That’s just gross.
[...] #53 Dogs [...]
[...] #53 Dogs [...]
You should clarify this – white people like Purebred (i.e. namebrand) dogs. I have a mutt, and most people just can’t get past the fact that I don’t know his provenance (and don’t care, frankly).
I love my dogs, but I don’t take them to my friend’s houses. I don’t take them to dog parks and they always walk on a leash. They don’t jump on people or sleep on my bed. They have a doghouse in the backyard. I am very bored when people show me pictures of their dogs. One friend celebrated Mother’s Day with a gift and a card from her dog. Creepy.
aw, come on, dog parks are fun. personally, i get a big kick out of saying, “lady, THEY’RE DOGS, let ‘em wrestle”.
I love this blog, and so happy about your book deal Christian! A movie, starring Ryan Gosling as YOU would be perfect.
My dog Louie, of course, is special. I let him read your articles and he is so taken with your style. He’d love to sniff you or hump you just to show his appreciation! (the highest compliment in dog-dom.)
Another thing white people like?
Putting potted plants on balconies. No matter that they look silly and will soon die. They are already ‘potted’
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