A lot of cultures love dogs – be it for entertainment, labor, or other. But white people love dogs on an entirely different level.
It should be understood that in white culture, dogs are considered training for having children. That is to say that any white couple must get a dog before they have kids. This will prepare them for responsibility by having another creature to feed, supervise it’s bathroom activities, and to love. Because of this, white people generally assume that their dog is their favorite child unless otherwise stated.
When actual children are born, the dog is not displaced but rather remains as the most important member of the household. This is because of the fact that white children will eventually hate their parents, but dogs will love anyone who feeds them.
White people generally believe that dogs have human emotions and that they are capable of loving certain TV shows, films, and music. “Buster just loves watching Six Feet Under!” Even though most dogs would enjoy watching Hitler if he were getting attention every time it came on the TV.
They also believe that their dogs share similar tastes in food – “Little Ben Kweller likes the Organic food the best.” Forgetting the fact that dogs enjoy eating their own feces, and pretty much anything that falls onto the floor.
When searching for homes, many white people will require large yards so that their “dog can run around.” If you work in real estate, this can be exploited for large markups when selling to white people.
It is also a proven fact, that dogs are often used by white people to attract members of the opposite sex. Bringing a puppy or dog to a local dog park, will encourage interaction and conversation. Even more so than a Mac Laptop.
If white people are ever talking about their dogs, it is essential that you reassure them that their dogs are absolutely special and unique. That they are being properly cared for, and that treating like children is the only way to care for a pet. Under no circumstance EVER should you say anything that is derogatory towards dogs, critical of spoiling dogs, or that they are not full members of society who deserve the same rights as humans. Doing any of these three things will completely destroy all relationships you might have had with a white person.
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Man’s best friend, but the choice of dog varies by class and culture. How many Chihuahuas and Pit bulls you find in Indio? Hundreds. Same applies to Chow-chows or poodles in Rancho Mirage? And family dogs like Golden Retrievers or Welsh Spaniels in suburban La Quinta or Cathedral City. I bet more dogs live in Indian Wells or Palm Springs than any human children. +
Oh….ouch….that hurts, it’s so true. We just adopted a dog from my coworker (after losing our dog in March) and we’re already worried about “is he happy here? Are we being good dog parents?” etc. He’s probably just wondering “when are they going to feed me/walk me/scratch me” and doesn’t care about anything else, LOL!
I believe my dog does have feelings and I know he has favorite foods because he won’t eat everything I give him. He’ll take it; he won’t eat it. And I’m not so stupid as to believe he watches tv and likes my music LOL Loving dogs is not a white person thing; it’s an American thing. Although Japan is coming close with some of the crazy stuff they invent for pet owners.
Dogs give their owners absolute love and loyalty. It is a beautiful thing.
Bow down to my rottweiler…and the master bows down to him. Nice doggie, don’t get mad, please…don’t, oh no, UGH! IT F@#$%^&*N’ BIT OFF MY FACE! +
Yeah uh huh, you are a dog fucking FREAK. Nobody wants to read about your lil sexual escapades with Rover
Zegre on July 21, 2009 at 4:12 am “Dead on. They often like dogs more than children – me included. But I cannot agree with some people’s attempts at an explanation. And why shouldn’t a person be emotionally affected by their pet’s sickness?”
I totally agree with you Zegre. How can one not be affected by the suffering of another one of God’s creatures. It has nothing to do with being white or any other color. Dogs are sentient beings and deserve our care and love and compassion.
People of all colors should respect the life other non human animals have and shouldn’t treat them in any way other than with respect and love. They are after all like children and look to humans for care and protection. As per God’s charge to us to be the stewards of the earth and all other beings who live on this planet, we need to treat them the way we want to be treated and not abuse or hurt them.
Some people just don’t like kids.
Dead on. They often like dogs more than children – me included. But I cannot agree with some people’s attempts at an explanation. And why shouldn’t a person be emotionally affected by their pet’s sickness?
To be even cooler to white people you should get a ‘rescue dog’ ( read: any dog not bought through a breeder). This will increase your status as “cool” to other white people. Bonus points if you can quote Cesar Milan when talking to white people about dogs.
Test this theory by going to any local leash-free dog park in your city and ask a white person where they got their dog.
In Austin, Tx I think it is a law that in order to go to Auditorium Shores your dog has to be a rescue.
That is so very true. I told a white person who was in depression because his dog was sick that his behavior was pathetic. It’s a dog not a human being ! Well needless to say my indifference to dogs and disgust at them being treated as humans ended our relationship. My theory is that in the west, dogs fill a social vacuum created by our individualistic culture.
Arent white people the only ones that like CATS?
I am white and I hate cats.
Gee Ryan you HATE cats. I can understand being indifferent to cats, but to hate them is a bit off. Cats are what cats are! They will never be dogs because they are not pack animals and don’t feel it necessary to suck up. They are individuals. You can admire cats for their beauty. You can be repulsed by cats for what they drag home and their ruthlessness, but all and all why can’t you just accept them for how they evolved. Did you see that word “evolved”.That is something a hater might want to think about! Please please tell us what else you hate Ryan. Do you hate not being intelligent!
you’re spastic
I hate cats 2….
I hate cats too, aww I guess I am not intelligent.
If the cat I serve felt like it, she would likely hate Julia, CJ, Georgie, and Ryan. But she’s busy being cool.
oh she’s busy being cool?
yea, that and pissing all over your furniture
Cats are like woman, Dogs are like guys…the joke about how cats have a mindset of a pompous wealthy single woman, while dogs have a mindset of a lower-income just- been-taken-in tramp dirty men. LOL, a lil’ bit of sexism or gender stereotyping to go on this racist-elitist blog xD
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on dogs.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
I give you money out of every paycheck. it’s called welfare
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