#54 Kitchen Gadgets
February 5, 2008 by clander
White people are under a lot of pressure to like cooking. Everything in their culture tells them that they need to have a nice kitchen and that they need to cook with organic, fresh ingredients to make delicious, complicated food.
Though any great chef can prepare fantastic meals with a knife and a few pots, white people believe that they need a full cadre of appliances and gadgets in their kitchen in order to live up to the pressure.
If you go into a white person’s kitchen you will find a waffle maker, a rice cooker, a steamer, a food processor, a panini press and a blender. They also have hand powered devices like flour sifters, ravioli crimpers, pizza cutters, potato ricers, and a sushi mat.
But, in order for them to truly enter into whitedom, they need to 
own the holy grail of white kitchens – the kitchen aid stand mixer (right). They will match this mixer to their kitchen’s color scheme and it will make up the focal point. And much like many religious artifacts, it will remain untouched for months and even years, sitting on the counter to be admired as a testament to their lifestyle.
Kitchen Gadgets also serve as one of the main reasons why white people get married. Look at their registry and you will find gadgets for any possible task in the kitchen. If you end up buying one of these for a white person, your card should make reference to them using a lot to make beautiful food that you hope you can eat one day. This kind of stuff goes over like gang busters.
If you find yourself in a conversation about these things, a good way to say a little but mean a lot is to mention that you “find the consumer models to be poorly built, my friend, a chef, brings me with him to a restaurant supply shop that’s not open to the public. The stuff there is real quality, it’s where I get all of my pans.”
If this is too big of a risk, you should just throw out a combination of these words: “le Creuset, Calphalon, All Clad, Williams Sonoma, and Sur Le Table.” White people go so nuts when they hear these words, you won’t even have to finish your sentence.
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My Kitchen Aid mixer is one of two things I would save if my house was burning. The other is my husband.
White wifes love ‘kath kidson’ my wife creams herself whenever she hears that name, overpriced shit
This gadgtes above are one of the best gadgets you can ever invest in buying as part of your kitchen equipments…. So dont miss it
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[...] White and with pretensions of middle-class-dom when they are really closer to upper class, is Kitchen Gadgets. The article list a variety of cumbersome machinery that often only serve singular purposes in the [...]
I have a Kitchenaid, which I got as a wedding gift, because I registered for it, because other white people told me it was the best thing ever, which I use about twice a year, but it sits on the counter year round. I also have an avocado slicer. I am this white person.
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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waffle maker (yes but smaller then this one, how else to make waffles?), a rice cooker-wife got it, meh, a steamer no, a food processor had one, was a pice of crap, a panini press -no, and a blender-yeah cold drinks but Don’t use it much. They also have hand powered devices like flour sifters, ravioli crimpers, pizza cutters, potato ricers, and a sushi mat.-Nay to all except pizza cutter, do you want a knife for everything???
But, in order for them to truly enter into whitedom, they need to own the holy grail of white kitchens – the kitchen aid stand mixer (right).
I always wanted one, but the $5 at the church yard sale worked for me.
i want the waffle maker !
kitchen aids have a variety of different appliances that can help you cook your food easier *’.
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