#54 Kitchen Gadgets
February 5, 2008 by clander
White people are under a lot of pressure to like cooking. Everything in their culture tells them that they need to have a nice kitchen and that they need to cook with organic, fresh ingredients to make delicious, complicated food.
Though any great chef can prepare fantastic meals with a knife and a few pots, white people believe that they need a full cadre of appliances and gadgets in their kitchen in order to live up to the pressure.
If you go into a white person’s kitchen you will find a waffle maker, a rice cooker, a steamer, a food processor, a panini press and a blender. They also have hand powered devices like flour sifters, ravioli crimpers, pizza cutters, potato ricers, and a sushi mat.
But, in order for them to truly enter into whitedom, they need to 
own the holy grail of white kitchens – the kitchen aid stand mixer (right). They will match this mixer to their kitchen’s color scheme and it will make up the focal point. And much like many religious artifacts, it will remain untouched for months and even years, sitting on the counter to be admired as a testament to their lifestyle.
Kitchen Gadgets also serve as one of the main reasons why white people get married. Look at their registry and you will find gadgets for any possible task in the kitchen. If you end up buying one of these for a white person, your card should make reference to them using a lot to make beautiful food that you hope you can eat one day. This kind of stuff goes over like gang busters.
If you find yourself in a conversation about these things, a good way to say a little but mean a lot is to mention that you “find the consumer models to be poorly built, my friend, a chef, brings me with him to a restaurant supply shop that’s not open to the public. The stuff there is real quality, it’s where I get all of my pans.”
If this is too big of a risk, you should just throw out a combination of these words: “le Creuset, Calphalon, All Clad, Williams Sonoma, and Sur Le Table.” White people go so nuts when they hear these words, you won’t even have to finish your sentence.
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Wow, whoever wrote this blog sounds like a complete ignorant , jerk who only thinks about themselves. I embarassed that my own, could sound this shallow!
Get over yourself.
1) This is satire
2) It’s a spot-on description of white liberal America.
I am an Asian-American, my mom uses the KitchenAid appliances. She loves to cook, and so do I. We are also big fans of Le Creuset.
Oh, and by the way it’s Sur LA Table, not Sur LE Table.
Get your facts straight.
The funny thing here is that non-whites here who say they use all of these gadgets end up sounding so…..like white.
See also:
Another African-American Girl Into Culinary Arts on August 8, 2008 at 12:35 pm
No, no, no, Crystal, you’ve got it all wrong. This site is supposed to be a satirical generalization of liberal white american tendencies. The author is not saying that other ethnicities cannot also enjoy the things listed here.
As you well know, many of us African Americans enjoy many of the same things. Please don’t take it like that. Seriously, it’s not like that.
They have a site that makes fun of us too. Check it out. Funny as heck: http://www.stuffebplike.com
Hi, it’s me again. I hope you were not offended by the first comment I made, but to tell the truth I am offended by this blog. It is highly offensive, and almost racest. You are saying that only one race would like high end kitchen materials. Well you are absolutely incorrect. I happen to love all the brands you mentioned, and I do use my Cookware. It does not just sit on my counter, just to look pretty, or show off. I wouldn’t stoop to that level.
This is coming from an African- American girl, who is in Culinary Arts. I have big goals for myself, I dream big, I think big, and I always want the best for myself no matter how small, or big it is.
I also would like to say that I am not just standing on behalf of African-Americans, but others Nationalities that you may have left out that love ,what you say, “STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE”!
I hope you dont’t take my comment in offense, but take it as a lesson learned.
God Bless You, and have a good day!!!
First the person writing this blog is caucasion so its not racist because you can not be racist against your self. And it is not called stuff only white people like so only you felt as if you where being excluded. I like a lot of the things on the Blog and all my life I have been accused of being too “white ” by other blacks . So it makes perfect sense to me that these must be things white people like because black people are constantly telling me real blacks (aka) African -Americans don’t eat shushi , go to the opera or shave their legs. It is just like Cat Stevens talking about Blacks, African American (what ever you prefer) I prefer Black myself no one calls that racist. You can’t be racist by exclusion
No, no, no, Crystal, you’ve got it all wrong. This site is supposed to be a satirical generalization of liberal white american tendencies. The author is not saying that other ethnicities cannot also enjoy the things listed here.
As you well know, many of us African Americans enjoy many of the same things. Please don’t take it like that. Seriously, it’s not like that.
They have a site that makes fun of us too. Check it out. Funny as heck: http://www.stuffebplike.com
You’re right! Damn him! I wish this blog would chill out with all the racism, I swear. I’m starting to find myself offended after reading every single one of these articles (although I didn’t have to read any of them, mind you); I may just find out where you live and write you an angry letter (maybe even send that letter on to my local newspaper, another thing white people love to do – and you can be damn sure the letter will have proper grammar).
I side with you, Crystal; it is time to free our minds of racism. Any and all races should be able to own needless cooking gadgets, such as shiny, chrome waffle makers and juicers. I believe Martin Luther King jr. said it best, “I have a dream that one day, all races will be able to fill their kitchens with upscale cooking appliances – preferably from IKEA or Tescos.”
Keep on fighting the good fight, I have your back – like you, I have a lot of time to waste.
It’s not that only white people like kitchen equipment; it’s that they buy it for status and then never use it. Btw: this is a joke take it in that light.
Well, Im black and Ilove sur le table, Kitchen Aid Products and CuisinArt. The thing that is different about me is I actually use my appliances. I happen to have passion for fine food. I dont belive race has anything to do with it. I am persuing a career in Culinary Arts, I take what I do very seriously. I just have one question: Does liking upscale appliances, andkitchen gadget make me a white person.
White people also like antiques and kitsch.
I thought I’d give a word out for something unique especially just for KitchenAid owners.
It’s called ArSyl Custom Covers Creations. They customize covers for your kitchen. They can make matching Mixer, Toaster, Food processor, etc. They have lots of patterns to match your kitchen. What’s great is you can request quilted or non-quilted; whichever you like… Having it quilted for an extra $5 and it’s worth is so worth it!
Again, the website is: http://www.xanga.com/sckyutgirl3
I don’t use my Mixer everyday, especially my food processor, chopper and blender. The covers helps keep away the dust from my precious appliances!
I love this blog and how it makes me laugh at myself. Well at least I use my mixer, AND I have a non-consumer model (and vintage!) Hobart. I win at being white in the kitchen!
Sur la Table. Crimeny…I know that and I don’t even cook. But I do like the appliances and my eyes kinda glaze over in those stores (in a trancy way), so I guess I’m white.
[...] wondering why a Kitchen-Aid is mentioned in the title…it’s cause I self-identity with #54 on the Stuff White People Like List, kitchen gadgets, mostly these three paragraphs: But, in order [...]
Ha! I’m white; I have one of those most useful appliances, in white as well. Actually, it’s my mom’s, rather, and she has about 5 billion other things, including boxes upon boxes to store them in since she doesn’t use them. However, my sister is probably partly to blame, since she is THE whitest person in my entire family. The only useful gadget I want that we don’t have is a rice cooker; my mom is so stubborn on not getting one, yet she have a garlic press, and she buys minced garlic…Oh well. At least that thing’s small, not like the big hunk of crap ice cream maker that my sister blew over $30 bucks on. She then proceeded to buy expensive materials to produce “homemade ice cream” which ended up tasting like crap. That’s another thing that should be addressed on this site; white people loving to spend lots of money to make homemade items that can be cheaply purchased (which a good part of the time end up coming out like crap).
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