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#58 Japan


Though there is full white consensus on a number of white things, there is perhaps nothing that draws more universal white acclaim than the island nation of Japan.  It should be noted, that some white people harbor SOME ill will toward Japan because of whaling, killing dolphins or Nanking.  But those are generally considered isolated incidents that do not indict the entire nation.

White people love Japan for a number of reasons.  Sushi is pretty much the biggest one, since white people have spent so much time Sushi restaurants, enjoying the food, learning about how to eat it, and how to be snobby about it.  This natural curiousity fills them with a need to pay a visit to Tsukiji and taste the freshest Sushi possible.

But it goes beyond just food, all white people either have/will/or wished they had taught English in Japan.  It is a dream for them to go over seas and actually live in Japan.  This helps them not only because it fills their need to travel, it will enable them to gain important leverage over other white people at Sushi restaurants where they can say “this place is pretty good, but living in Japan really spoiled me.  I’ve had such a hard time finding a really authentic place.”   

White people also love Japan because of it’s tradition, futuristic cities, films, kawaii stuff, music, and writers.  Many white nerds are into anime, so being too into this can be seen as a negative by white people.  It’s best to have a passing familiarity for things like Hayao Miyazaki who is universally accepted by white people, or if they don’t know who is he, they will look him up and they won’t find weird violent or sexual cartoons.

If you find yourself in an awkward silence with white people, just mention how you want to go to Japan.  They will immediately begin talking about how their trip to Japan, or their favorite stuff from Japan, but it will be entirely about them.  This is useful as you no longer have to talk, and they will like you for letting them talk about themselves.

But like with anime, you have to be careful about how much you like Japan.  If you know how to speak Japanese, you kind of ruin it for everyone else.


435 Responses to “#58 Japan”

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I am truly proud to inform everyone that although I am white, and thoroughly agree with above article, I am unique within my race as I fucking hate Japan and I hope it gets blown out of the water.


 

Hahaha… I am white… and my boyfriend is Chinese… and we’re both learning Japanese together! We went to Tsukiji earlier this year hahahahahaha


 

hey!
I made on photoshop glitter myspace pics.
take a look at them:
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haha I know how to speak Japanese.. and it does ruin it for a lot of my white friends who are obsessed with Japan.. I just learned the language for my major.. but I do love Japan :D


 
elmo the high puppet on November 4, 2008 at 7:28 pm

i like japan…hell i like anyplace that has people


 

I’m pretty white. More pinkish really. But I hate Japan. Worse still I have to live here.


Baka, baka, baka. Doshite ka? G-kun wa pansuke desu! 4 teh lulz!


 
 

what nanking

what whaling, killing dolphinslol


 
 

[...] Pronko might feel umbrage when his fantasies come crashing down. As you might expect, SWPL has already weighed in on the subject: But it goes beyond just food, all white people either have/will/or wished they had [...]


 

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