#60 Toyota Prius
February 7, 2008 by clander
Over the years, white people have gone through a number of official cars. In the 1980s it was the Saab and the Volvo. By the 1990s it was the Volkswagen Jetta or a Subaru 4WD stastion wagon. But these days, there is only one car for white people. One car that defines all that they love: the Toyota Prius.
The Prius might be the most perfect white product ever. It’s expensive, gives the idea that you are helping the environment, and requires no commitment/changes other than money.
The Toyota Prius gets 45 miles per gallon. That’s right, you can drive 45 miles and burn only one gallon of gasoline. So somehow, through marketing or perception, the Prius lets people think that driving their car is GOOD for the environment.
It’s a pretty sweet deal for white people. You can buy a car, continue to drive to work and Barak Obama rallies and feel like you are helping the environment!
Some white people decide to pull the ultimate move. Prius, Apple Sticker on the back, iPod rocking, and Democratic Candidate bumper sticker. Unstoppable!
There are a few ways you can use this to your advantage. If you are carpooling to an event or party you can always say “can we take your Prius? my car doesn’t get good mileage and I feel guilty driving it.” And bam! Free ride! 
Also, if you see a white person in a Prius you can say “wow, that’s great to see that you’re doing something for the earth.” The white person will feel very good about themselves and offer to drive you home, to Ikea, or drop you off at 80s night.
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not to nitpick, but..
EPA 60 mpg / 51 mpg
Wow, dp, you are super white. Nice!
Ahahahahaha!
I hate Priuses. They’re almost universally driven by people who *should not drive*. They try to kill me regularly as I ride to work on my polluting, socially irresponsible motorcycle.
Maybe they’re swerving because they’re trying to fiddle with their touchscreens… Or maybe they just traded in their fixie and haven’t driven in five years. *shrug*
FUCK YOU!
Motorbike motherfucker!
Who cares how “cool” you think you are. Your bike is more gay than the faggoty, politically-correct, Obama-loving, environmentally aware Prius!
Yeah. Prius’ make sense as long as ” the Man” has us by our working-class, multi-cultural/melting-pot balls.
Happy Memorial Day!
Rey,
Eat an ass bitch boy!!! You don’t want us ‘Motorbike Motherfuckers’ as your enemy. We’ll anally rape your mother and make her beg us for more.
I don’t care how cool I look while I’m splitting lanes in So-Cal while you stopped dead rush hour Cagers sweat it out with your touch screen distraction bullshit.
Actually, I bought a Prius to get that sexy touch screen. It’s the ultimate nerd car.
Daggone, that’s so totally white.
Anyhow, I don’t want to save the environment. The environment can go screw itself as far as I’m concerned. I just want everything to have a sexy touch screen.
Nice! You’re the kind of person I want to take home and show to my white mom.
So true, my feelings exactly.
not to nitpick, but..
EPA 60 mpg / 51 mpg
If you are writing about a Prius, then 60mpg is a bit pretentious. It MIGHT have been that in ’07, but no longer in ’08. The method of figuring the mileage is now more life-like. For one thing, they actually drive the cars – no dyno like before. Wind resistance comes into play then. And they use the AC now too. And they drive more than 55mph, unlike before.
The whole new method is more like the so-called real world.
But who is going to care if gas is $5gal? I will park my Prius, and bike it.
EPA has ALWAYS used flawed methods of testing MPG and their estimates are ALWAYS off by about 10% their old method was even worse on Hybrids and gave ridiculous figures that the car could never achieve In reality the Prius gets up to 45 MPG all-around
as for performance… well there isint any. hop in one find the longest onramp and try to get up to highway speed. you can’t the car is trash. Not to mention the fact your spending $21,000 (base) on a compact car that has an average lifespan of 100,000 miles. If you want a real car that gets awesome mileage buy a 1.4L TDI VW Polo it actually gets over 50MPG its also faster, safer, cheaper, better looking and more reliable than the Prius of course its only available in Europe right now.
1. The Prius is a mid size car according to the EPA
2. The Polo is a tiny subcompact not sold here
3. Average lifespan of 100K?- are you crazy?
4. If you think a VW is more reliable than a Toyota, then you truly are as dumb as you sound.
You is wrong. the things has som giddy-up… enough to get up to drivin speed on the ol’ highway with no problem…
Every comment you made is wrong, and you have just shown your stupidity. Why even mention a car sold only in Europe? Get a grip, stupid.
Thanks for your insights. I have routinely gotten 50MPG in my Prius. I drive carefully and accelerate and brake gradually, and I monitor my fuel consumption closely. Looking forward to more hybrid subcompacts coming to the US!
Gee, look at the fun you’re having, wow!
Driving for Fun is different from driving to work and back home. Prius owners do not drive for fun, they drive prius to save money.
If you want to drive for fun, go ride a bump car.
When I drive anywhere I drive in something that is fun. Why is it, not having fun to save gas is a goal of anyone? What the hell are you on this planet for? I enjoy myself in life and particularly when I’m driving.
You obviously never owned a Prius. I drive 80 MPH to work and get up to speed far quicker than any other car I’ve ever owned. Most people don’t even realize that the electric engine assists the gas engine, which gives it extra power.
Doesn’ t anyone do their research anymore?
Okay, so you have a fast Prius. Now put some money on that Prius (lots of money) and we’ll have a little race. Warning…my car has a battery,also.
Is it a Tesla Roadster?
drooling over the tesla…… wish I could afford one! I DESPISE the Prii, my inlaws just bought not 1 but 2 of them! UGH! I’ll have to ride in one this weekend for our brewfest fun! ICK!!!
I know who you are dp!!!! For I am also dp!!!!
BTW… I don’t drive a prius & ya’ll have wayyyyyyy to much time on your hands… especially you dp for not calling the other dp.
Actually, not anymore. It’s more like 45/48
Ha ha ha….I love your blog!
LOL
fucking hilarious and so true
I am a true southern cracker who has a strong prefrence for american made vehicles that consume gas at the rate that Prius “dippy car” Owners consume starbucks lattes. I would have a Chrysler 500, Mustang, Charger or Magnum any day over a prius.
Its not about white people snobbery, its snobbery in general, snobbery taken so far as to choose style over substance.
I walk to work and spend less than $10 a week on gas!
Prius owners- I’ll ice u in my monte carlo
Still Waiting on my flex fuel corvette baby
Support Detroit Auto workers!!!!!!!!!!!!Drive american
When detroit stops cranking out garbage, they will be more successful. BTW, my Subaru Outback was made in INDIANA. Quality, cool super white vehicle! Death to GM and Ford!
Kind of hard to support Detroit Auto Workers when the Silverado is built in Canada, the Ford 150 is built in Mexico and the Toyota Tundra is built in Indiana. Last GM car I bought was a 1985 Pontiac Grand Lemon. It was A POS.
American-made? What is that anymore? A Chevrolet Equinox – assembled in Canada, with a Japanese engine, and a Chinese transmission.
Go figure!
The last time I saw an American-made item, it was my daughter being born.
Dang… were all the parts put in to making your daughter 100% American? Because I alone am made up of parts from four different countries. I’m much like robocop in many ways… Robocop and the Prius.
I drive a Prius. I would still drive over it if I had a massive 4wd Pick me up truck (or Johnny Deere for that matter). But I don’t have a truck… and that’s a good thing because I’m chock fll of bad choices…
Burn, toyota builds more vehicles in america then all of the american manufactures combined. now whos talkin about american made?
my good friend drives a prius and bikes to work too…
go figure!
You’re so stupid!!!! American Cars!!!… The ford mustang has 65% American made whereas the Toytoa Sienna is 90% American made. Toytoa employees many, many Americans… Educate yourself, moron. BTW, I am a southern white person as well.
What? What’s an American car? I am pretty sure ALL AMERICAN car companies have factories in other countries, like Mexico. Furthermore, if they are assembled here, not all the parts are made here. Look at the details of your car. Where did the stereo come from? How about the interior? What about anything under the hood? Your mustang was probably made in Mexico. Quite with the ‘american’ made bull and try to understand that our companies are as much about the bottom line and the Benjamin as are any other multinational company.
It’s great that you hate prius and walk to work, however. Prius is overrated as it is.
This blog is very funny.
As the owner of a Prius I can definitely say it is NOT overrated. If I were still driving my 4-runner I would be paying the same amount in gas every month that I now make in car payments, and I don’t have the repair issues. Definitely saves me a LOT of money.
If Not A Republican had my job he would have to start very early in the morning to walk the 40 miles to work…and yes, most of what you call American is only put together here out of foreign parts.
I am sure showing people are wrong is something white people love, but you should know that you have to drive your Prius for over 10 years for it to be more efficient than a Hummer. The nickel-cadmium battery that makes the Prius so “fuel efficient” is so awful for the environment that the 5 mile radius around the factory contains no plant life, or other life for that matter.
A prius is more “efficient” than a Hummer from day 1. If you are talking about recouping the cost, then yes, you have to have a prius for several years to offset the extra cost in fuel savings. What’s wrong with that? People should be taking care of their vehicles and making them last 8-10 years anyway.
The battery comment is just nuts. First of all, the prius uses a nickel-metal hydride battery (not a NiCad) that doesn’t contain cadmium. This makes it much less toxic if some idiot just throws it in a ladfill. Second, NiMH batteries are about 100% recyclable, which is where mine will be going if it ever finally poops out (10+ years from now).
A last comment for “Sceptic” Yes, it would be great if everybody lived a couple miles from work and we could bike there. So basially you want to regress society back to the middle ages where we didn’t ever leave our villages or travel more than 20 miles from our birth place? Be real. A car is just a tool of modern society. We can make it a lot better, the prius is just a (small) step it the right direction. But looking back, it a a giant leap forward from the gas-guzzling cars of the past. Lets not sneer at it simply because it is a transition piece and not the “answer” to all our problems. Oh, and just about everything it is made of can be recycled (plastic, steel, rubber). You just have to have an open mind.
LOL that battery pack aint gonna give you ten years. Try six if yer lucky. By the way the replacement cost on that battery is more expensive than a decent used econo box car that is six years old. I aint talking ford here either. Im talking honda and toyota used car.
A prius is an econmic joke jsut like ethanol. Buy one if you got money to burn. I will take my little ole simple subaru imprezza with a 4 banger any day.
fugggg-it
But wouldn’t you be saving the environment and gas payments by moving closer than 40 miles to your job?
And just think of all the raw materials used and the size of the carbon footprint in producing that dear Prius. Surely the extra gas mileage will offset that in the three years, after the lease is up.
Haaa ha ha. This post quotes almost word for word why my white friend was so incredibly psyched when he bought his Prius. This blog is freaking hilarious.
Paradoxical name
…it is funny…but then again farts are too…you know what I mean?
so, are you white or what? btw, my Prius is white.
I saw a brand new Prius today in Ferrari red. It was striking.
Imagine the thrill of a white people car made in Japan calling to you in fluent Italian. Cool.
I’m pretty sure that it was “Barcelona Red” and not “Ferrari Red”.
Barcelona Red, Ferrari Red, whatever. Like they used to say- “Better Red, than dead!”
Why would you think that?
This is a joke, right?
I agree with you.
I have seen real black people and I think some other colors too in these cars….I don’t understand.
“Real” black people?
What’s fake?
I have a brand new Dodge diesel 3/4 ton pickup and love it to death. Speaking of death, watch out Prius my survival rate is 100 times yours if we have a collision.
Not if I see you first. The bigger they are, the faster they sink!
Wait until you hit my tundra ; ),
Tundra, jap crap, right in the same league as Prius. I know, there is an ad on TV with a deep voiced announcer bragging the merits of a Tundra, but it isn’t close to my Dodge. Go look for yourself and get your facts first hand.
No it’s not.
No, this is me.
dude, this is funny and true. White folks (colorado) love the enviornment, outdoor stuff so much that they’ll do anything to protect it. And then drive in their trucks, SUVs, hybrid, 4wd to the (portected) mountains 3-4 times a week for biking, hiking, camping, etc. And if bears, foxes, racoons… raoming in their natural home happens to find campers’ trash and start diggin, chances are they will be shot dead- because they’re bothering the earth saving folks.
your an idiot, right?
“your an idiot” is one of my favorite phrases of all time! i can’t say i feel the same way about “you’re an idiot” though….
(you’re). way to look like a stupid third grader while calling someone else an idiot.
Please see Stuff White People Like #99.
You must be white!
I pooped my pants
http://www.tucc.org
Jesus was the substance in the pooped pants.
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